"Declarations And Revelations"
Disclaimer: Still don't own them, never will.
It's been a while since I wrote the first chapter, but I just came back to it and
started typing today...
The room is spinning
Out of control
I bet you didn't notice
Brush my hand
Forbidden fruit
Ring on my finger
That you're perfect, you moral, moral man
Should throw it away
No question
Will I pretend I'm innocent
****
She felt a release in this kiss, submitting to it completely as his tongue slipped
past her own. They were inextricably combined. His arms pulled her closer
until there wasn't an inch between them. She was in deep and there was no
way of taking this back now.
"Oh, I see,"
The voice cut into her consciousness, and she pulled away suddenly
embarrassed. Abby turned to the source of the voice, his arm still tight around
her waist.
"It's not..."
She heard him begin to stutter an explantion, before realising he no longer
had to explain himself to his parents. His mother looked decidedly
unimpressed. Her eyes bore into Abby with a frightening intensity. She was
suspicious, and obviously upset.
"I think I know exactly what it is, thank you,"
Abby narrowed her eyes and stared right back, never breaking eye contact. It
was unnerving, but she wasn't one to back down. She was being accused of
something here, she was the guilty party, but she wasn't sure exactly why.
"After all we've done..."
Abby had to bite her tongue. What had they done? They'd come pretty
damned close to ruining him. She didn't think half her son's problems were
partially her fault? The gaze was definitely withering, a 'who do you think you
are, little lady' look and it wasn't something she was just willing to stand there
and take. She wasn't awed by this woman, or scared of her.
"This isn't about him, it's about me,"
She felt a hand on her upper arm, as if to stop her, but she carried on
regardless.
"If you've got something to say, just spit it out,"
She flared, stepping away from him into the relative cold. She squared her
shoulders defiantly, pulling herself up to full height and practically
threatening the older woman.
"Why would this be about you.....?"
Eleanor paused pointedly, trying to make the point that she didn't really
matter, that she was easily forgotten, virtually anonymous to her.
"Abby. My name is Abby,"
She fired back, seeing right through the transparency.
"Right, whatever. You're the nurse aren't you? Why would I have a problem
with you?"
"It's so transparent, Eleanor, I'm just not the kind of girl you wanted to see
him kissing am I?"
The answer was unnecessary, it was all there in the older woman's eyes. Abby
fumed silently for a couple of seconds, before walking away. She had to leave.
She was humiliated, ashamed and disappointed and there was no possible
way she could be around him anymore, not tonight.
"Abby.."
She heard him call after her. But her current self-loathing was stronger than
the magnetic pull she felt back to him, and she kept walking. Each step made
it harder to ever go back, but she didn't know if she ever would. Who did
Eleanor think she was? Their moment had been broken, shattered in fact, and
she was angry. Angry with herself for letting it happen in the first place, and
then equally angry with Eleanor for the interference. She had just succeeded
in pushing them apart again, when fate was obviously trying to push them
together. Abby had never had a high opinion of his family. She would never
say as much to him, but something about them just struck her as twisted.
****
I struggle with myself again
Walls are crumbling
Don't know if I can turn away
****
After a while, she realised she had overreacted to the situation. It had been
blown out of all proportion because of her insecurities about herself, and
about her relationships with others. She'd been uptight and embarrassed and
she'd shattered the moment irrevocably. Eleanor had just been a catalyst. The
spark that had ignited all her doubts. She'd barely slept, and wasn't feeling at
best when she inevitably ran into him the next morning. They worked
together, they couldn't avoid the situation.
"About last night..."
He began nervously. Her breath caught suddenly on the memories and she
had to struggle suddenly to hold it together.
"I won't say anything,"
She interjected quickly, before he could say another word.
"That wasn't what I was going to say,"
"Yes, it was. Because you've decided it was just a mistake and that your
mother's right,"
Abby put the words in his mouth, though she could sense that wasn't it. She
had decided that was the way it was to be. It was better off not mentioned
again. Her being had closed up again, she felt at last almost normal again.
"Right about what? Abby, what's wrong?
He played the innocent, tried to pretend he didn't know exactly what she
meant. She knew him better than to fall for it.
"Right in assuming that I'm not good enough for you,"
Abby spelled it out. Usually, she'd have said it in good humour, but not today.
Today everything was different, and she truly believed it was true.
"No one's good enough for me in their eyes."
He sounded almost exasperated.
"And what about in your eyes? Am I the kind of person you want to be with?"
Abby challenged angrily. She wasn't sure she wanted to hear the answer, to
know the truth, but she needed to.
"Not when you're like this,"
"Like what?"
He sighed as if she didn't already know what he was about to say.
"Defensive, Abby, it's wearing,"
"Well, maybe I'm not the person you should be with then,"
She turned on her heel, as she was very good at doing to avoid things, and
went to walk away. Her first step wasn't even completed when she heard his
almost angry but almost plaintive words.
"Don't leave..don't you dare walk away from me..."
And she stopped. Against everything in her, she stopped moving. The air fell
heavy around her and the world ceased to exist once again. She'd felt that once
before, when he'd kissed her, and she had an odd feeling she knew what was
about to happen.
"Why not?"
She asked, trying not to sound nervous, but irritated.
"Because I love you,"
He answered honestly and she
Disclaimer: Still don't own them, never will.
It's been a while since I wrote the first chapter, but I just came back to it and
started typing today...
The room is spinning
Out of control
I bet you didn't notice
Brush my hand
Forbidden fruit
Ring on my finger
That you're perfect, you moral, moral man
Should throw it away
No question
Will I pretend I'm innocent
****
She felt a release in this kiss, submitting to it completely as his tongue slipped
past her own. They were inextricably combined. His arms pulled her closer
until there wasn't an inch between them. She was in deep and there was no
way of taking this back now.
"Oh, I see,"
The voice cut into her consciousness, and she pulled away suddenly
embarrassed. Abby turned to the source of the voice, his arm still tight around
her waist.
"It's not..."
She heard him begin to stutter an explantion, before realising he no longer
had to explain himself to his parents. His mother looked decidedly
unimpressed. Her eyes bore into Abby with a frightening intensity. She was
suspicious, and obviously upset.
"I think I know exactly what it is, thank you,"
Abby narrowed her eyes and stared right back, never breaking eye contact. It
was unnerving, but she wasn't one to back down. She was being accused of
something here, she was the guilty party, but she wasn't sure exactly why.
"After all we've done..."
Abby had to bite her tongue. What had they done? They'd come pretty
damned close to ruining him. She didn't think half her son's problems were
partially her fault? The gaze was definitely withering, a 'who do you think you
are, little lady' look and it wasn't something she was just willing to stand there
and take. She wasn't awed by this woman, or scared of her.
"This isn't about him, it's about me,"
She felt a hand on her upper arm, as if to stop her, but she carried on
regardless.
"If you've got something to say, just spit it out,"
She flared, stepping away from him into the relative cold. She squared her
shoulders defiantly, pulling herself up to full height and practically
threatening the older woman.
"Why would this be about you.....?"
Eleanor paused pointedly, trying to make the point that she didn't really
matter, that she was easily forgotten, virtually anonymous to her.
"Abby. My name is Abby,"
She fired back, seeing right through the transparency.
"Right, whatever. You're the nurse aren't you? Why would I have a problem
with you?"
"It's so transparent, Eleanor, I'm just not the kind of girl you wanted to see
him kissing am I?"
The answer was unnecessary, it was all there in the older woman's eyes. Abby
fumed silently for a couple of seconds, before walking away. She had to leave.
She was humiliated, ashamed and disappointed and there was no possible
way she could be around him anymore, not tonight.
"Abby.."
She heard him call after her. But her current self-loathing was stronger than
the magnetic pull she felt back to him, and she kept walking. Each step made
it harder to ever go back, but she didn't know if she ever would. Who did
Eleanor think she was? Their moment had been broken, shattered in fact, and
she was angry. Angry with herself for letting it happen in the first place, and
then equally angry with Eleanor for the interference. She had just succeeded
in pushing them apart again, when fate was obviously trying to push them
together. Abby had never had a high opinion of his family. She would never
say as much to him, but something about them just struck her as twisted.
****
I struggle with myself again
Walls are crumbling
Don't know if I can turn away
****
After a while, she realised she had overreacted to the situation. It had been
blown out of all proportion because of her insecurities about herself, and
about her relationships with others. She'd been uptight and embarrassed and
she'd shattered the moment irrevocably. Eleanor had just been a catalyst. The
spark that had ignited all her doubts. She'd barely slept, and wasn't feeling at
best when she inevitably ran into him the next morning. They worked
together, they couldn't avoid the situation.
"About last night..."
He began nervously. Her breath caught suddenly on the memories and she
had to struggle suddenly to hold it together.
"I won't say anything,"
She interjected quickly, before he could say another word.
"That wasn't what I was going to say,"
"Yes, it was. Because you've decided it was just a mistake and that your
mother's right,"
Abby put the words in his mouth, though she could sense that wasn't it. She
had decided that was the way it was to be. It was better off not mentioned
again. Her being had closed up again, she felt at last almost normal again.
"Right about what? Abby, what's wrong?
He played the innocent, tried to pretend he didn't know exactly what she
meant. She knew him better than to fall for it.
"Right in assuming that I'm not good enough for you,"
Abby spelled it out. Usually, she'd have said it in good humour, but not today.
Today everything was different, and she truly believed it was true.
"No one's good enough for me in their eyes."
He sounded almost exasperated.
"And what about in your eyes? Am I the kind of person you want to be with?"
Abby challenged angrily. She wasn't sure she wanted to hear the answer, to
know the truth, but she needed to.
"Not when you're like this,"
"Like what?"
He sighed as if she didn't already know what he was about to say.
"Defensive, Abby, it's wearing,"
"Well, maybe I'm not the person you should be with then,"
She turned on her heel, as she was very good at doing to avoid things, and
went to walk away. Her first step wasn't even completed when she heard his
almost angry but almost plaintive words.
"Don't leave..don't you dare walk away from me..."
And she stopped. Against everything in her, she stopped moving. The air fell
heavy around her and the world ceased to exist once again. She'd felt that once
before, when he'd kissed her, and she had an odd feeling she knew what was
about to happen.
"Why not?"
She asked, trying not to sound nervous, but irritated.
"Because I love you,"
He answered honestly and she