A/N: Hey all! The following is a little one-shot fic that I've been inspired to write. It goes along with my CCS/HP crossover fic "Harry Potter and the Order of Sorcerers". If you haven't read that, then you probably won't really understand this. It is not meant to be a stand alone piece. I might do a couple more of these, from different perspectives, depending on the response I get from this one. Anyways. On with it then, eh? I hope you enjoy this, and look for another Author's Note at the end of the piece. Thanks!

Disclaimer: I own Jade. Really, I do. She's all mine. I invented her. However, her world, the Harry Potter Universe, does not belong to me. It belongs to J.K. Rowling, and all those lovely companies that have the rights to it. All Card Captor Sakura stuff belongs to CLAMP and it's other people. Not to me. Cause I don't get paid to write fanfics. Nope. It'd be cool if I did though, right?

Jade sat down behind the desk in her new office. The second morning class had begun, and she didn't have long before lunch. She sighed quietly, leaning back in her chair. Silently Jade lifted a hand to the necklace she now wore. Sure, it was pretty, and Jade had always secretly been a fan of Slytherin house, but there had to be more to the necklace than what it appeared to be. Sighing again Jade sat up and scooted closer to her desk. She reached into a box on her right and withdrew a small leather-bound journal. It was smooth, old black leather, embossed with Celtic knots of all kinds. As she opened the book to the next blank page, Jade dipped her favorite quill into the inkpot on her desk. She paused for a moment, gathering her thoughts. Then she began to write.

12th September

Today is turning out to be another horrid day. I knew it would be, though, especially after that incident last night with Tom. He can be so very temperamental... and so incredibly predictable. Lucky for me Severus decided to follow me. He's becoming more and more my shadow lately. I have the oddest feeling that he saw Lucius and I earlier.

Ugh. That's right. Lucius visited today. I cannot STAND that man. He's the most horrid Malfoy I've ever met (though Narcissa is a close second, even if she isn't a Malfoy by blood). Lucius is much worse than his father, though. Despicable man, honestly. I'm still holding out a little hope for Draco, but with a father like Lucius Malfoy, you can't help but turn out horrible.

Lucius brought me a present, from Tom. It's a Slytherin House Crest pendant. I'm sure it's enchanted and hexed with all sorts of things... probably not safe for anyone else to touch. But the real reason Lucius visited was to get a glimpse of Sakura, I'm sure. That poor girl. She's so wonderful, so innocent... and now she's caught up in the middle of an epic battle that she really shouldn't be involved in! This is a war for witches and wizards, not sorcerers and card mistresses! I'm doing my best to look out for her, but I'm afraid to get too close. I know she's much smarter than most people give her credit for... she's bound to figure it out sooner or later. I must be prepared when that occasion comes.

My new office isn't so bad. I'm still crushed that I won't be teaching. I really do love to teach... Maybe Albus will let me teach again sometime in the future... though probably not, seeing as he probably won't be speaking to me by then. But I don't want to think too far ahead right now. I want to be content with the way things are right now... it will all change much sooner than I'd like, and when it happens, I'll be left alone again. This time there won't be anyone to help me pick up the pieces... no friends. Dumbledore, McGonagall, Severus, Eriol... none of them will want anything to do with me.

Speaking of Eriol... I'm sure he'll do fine as DADA professor. He'll probably have sense enough to conduct classes based entirely on theory, and will also probably find a way to help the students practice that theory outside of a classroom setting. He's a very ingenious man. I'm surprised he hasn't seen through me yet. One would think he'd be a little more observant.

The most observant person I know, however, also seems to be quite oblivious when it comes to me. I thought that Severus hated me. But he doesn't hate me... he doesn't like me really. He tolerates me. He sympathizes with me. Severus is one of the only people who can understand... who can comprehend what I'm going through. After all, he isn't all that big on the greatness of Tom either. I truly hope that he will make it out of this war alive. I've never actually known what real love is, but I'm pretty sure I love him. Of course, he doesn't feel the same way. He is Severus Snape, Potions Master of Hogwart's, the Greasy Git, the Great Bat! Students tremble at the mere thought of him!! A man like that is incapable of love... or at least, he tells himself that he is incapable of it so often that he actually DOES become incapable of it. Mind over matter, as the saying goes.

Jade paused, dipping her quill into the inkpot again. Writing her thoughts in this journal had always helped her bring a bit of peace to her mind, though she felt she was completely undeserving of that peace. She stared down at the words in the journal, which stared back up at her. Jade sighed softly, and brought the quill to the journal again.

Perhaps, when this is all over, he will find a way to forgive me. Maybe they will all forgive me. But it is almost too much to hope for. Then again... if I do not hold on to that tiny glimmer of hope, I fear I may lose myself in the darkness. I belong in the darkness, though... I am vile, wretched, and undeserving of anything good in any way! I gave in to the darkness a long time ago, and now I can never go back to the light. It is too late. These deeds cannot be undone. In the end...

She stopped abruptly, not wanting to finish that sentiment. Jade quickly closed the journal and put the quill down, then placed the journal into the top drawer of her desk. She locked the drawer and glanced at her watch. Surprisingly, just as she glanced at her watch, the magical bell rang, signaling the end or morning classes and the beginning of lunch. Jade stood, grabbing her robes, and fled from her new office towards the Great Hall. She left her thoughts locked in the darkness with her journal.

A/N: Woo. That was quite fun. A bit short, I know, in comparison to how much I usually write. Hopefully I didn't give away too much!! I thought this little one-shot would give a bit of insight into Jade's character. I know exactly where "Harry Potter and the Order of Sorcerers" is going, but I haven't had time to sit down and write for a while. I promise that chapters 10 and 11 of "HP: OoC" will be posted by the end of the week. I really hope you liked this one-shot! I greatly appreciate reviews, so if you wouldn't mind leaving me one... I do like to reply to reviews as well, so if you have questions, leave an email addy or check the next chapter of "HP:OoC" to see my response to your review!

Shameless Plug: Also, in the next week or two, look for my next fic – it's going to be an AU Harry Potter Year 5! I actually had it posted up on FFN, but I took it down to do some re-writes (I'd begun it before book five came out, and since book 5 came out I've been increasingly dissatisfied with it). If you like Alanni Jade (and I hope you do!), then you'll like the fic. It was originally entitled "Snape's Love Story" (how horribly named is that?), but now I'm in the process of re-naming as well as rewriting. Jade is the new DADA in the story, and she is someone from Snape's past that he'd really rather forget. A delicate friendship blossoms between the two of them, until one day Jade disappears! The story is actually almost complete, but I'm having trouble deciding on the end (I'm torn as to whether it should be sort of happy or just completely miserable). Anyway, enough of my ramblings! Again, thanks for reading! And I really do love reviews! They sustain me and make me write more!!! Arigatou gozaimasu, minna-san.