A/N: Thankyou so very much iluvpip and Emma. My friend and I were very
pleased to see someone had taken the time to review (this is a pointed
remark to anyone who is reading and not reviewing by the way). Anyhow, let
us continue the tale.
The ring and Smeagol settled under, what should have been a tree, if it hadn't been a rock. The villagers maimed, pillaged, massacred, raped, in their normal duties. The children played doctors and nurses, with their new found and beloved rat. It is to be remembered that in Orc terms this game is also known as "Torturers and Executioners". The couple once more set off on their travels through the wilderness into Shelob's lair. A friend of Smeagol's. On the way there the ring threatened to betray me to my death if I called them a couple once more, I told him to look it up in the dictionary and find a better word. The ring told me dictionaries don't exist in middle-earth. I told him damn.
Smeagol and Shelob kissed cheeks at meeting. Or rather Shelob pressed a hairy pincher up against Smeagol's bony cheek, and Smeagol nudge his face into her fur, and gave her a small bite. They cried in pain at the same time, as Smeagol sank his teeth into her flesh, and the poison began to flow from Shelob's venom filled pincher into Smeagol's veins. It was all very sweet.
"Howsssssssssssssss Aressssssssssssss Youssssssssssssss Mysssssssssssss Sneaksssssssssssss?" She clicked
"How exactly do you click those S's?" interrupted the ring
"Withssssssssssss greatsssssssssssss practisessssssssssssssss."
"Ohsesses, fineses, fineseses." continued and ignored Gollum "I caught a batseses yesterday. It was juicy and scrumptiously crunchy it was yes precious." said Smeagol
"I wouldn't know. I'm on a diet, bats are bad for your structure."
"Yousssssssssssssss eatsssssssssssssss?"
"You sound surprised."
"Yessssssssssssssssssssssssss?"
"Well don't!"
They passed through Shelob's lair during the night. And before you say it, yes I am rushing, no I am not describing, yes I am tired, and yes the journey through Shelob's lair does take more than one night. But tough!
Gollum cried out to Shelob "Parting is such sweet sorrow!"
Shelob cried out to Gollum "Bugger off, and quit using quotes!"
The ring turned to Gollum, or at least it tried, do you know how difficult it is to see someone when you're in their pocket. The ring glowed a bit and muffled something. Smeagol held him out and eventually turned to face the ring.
"So Gollum, where to next?"
"Homeseses?"
There was a pause between them, the wind blew, and swept up a dragonfly, which was later eaten by a fish from the marsh.
"So Gollum, where to next?"
"Homeseses?"
A wolf howled randomly, realised it was alone from its pack, and turned away embarrassed.
"So Gollum, where to next?"
"Homesesses?"
Suspicion was arising that the ring was perhaps suggesting something, and Smeagol was not very quick.
"Let's go to Hobbiton!" cried the ring. And they did. Although not as quickly as that, as transportation hasn't been invented yet. By the way this is continued...
The ring and Smeagol settled under, what should have been a tree, if it hadn't been a rock. The villagers maimed, pillaged, massacred, raped, in their normal duties. The children played doctors and nurses, with their new found and beloved rat. It is to be remembered that in Orc terms this game is also known as "Torturers and Executioners". The couple once more set off on their travels through the wilderness into Shelob's lair. A friend of Smeagol's. On the way there the ring threatened to betray me to my death if I called them a couple once more, I told him to look it up in the dictionary and find a better word. The ring told me dictionaries don't exist in middle-earth. I told him damn.
Smeagol and Shelob kissed cheeks at meeting. Or rather Shelob pressed a hairy pincher up against Smeagol's bony cheek, and Smeagol nudge his face into her fur, and gave her a small bite. They cried in pain at the same time, as Smeagol sank his teeth into her flesh, and the poison began to flow from Shelob's venom filled pincher into Smeagol's veins. It was all very sweet.
"Howsssssssssssssss Aressssssssssssss Youssssssssssssss Mysssssssssssss Sneaksssssssssssss?" She clicked
"How exactly do you click those S's?" interrupted the ring
"Withssssssssssss greatsssssssssssss practisessssssssssssssss."
"Ohsesses, fineses, fineseses." continued and ignored Gollum "I caught a batseses yesterday. It was juicy and scrumptiously crunchy it was yes precious." said Smeagol
"I wouldn't know. I'm on a diet, bats are bad for your structure."
"Yousssssssssssssss eatsssssssssssssss?"
"You sound surprised."
"Yessssssssssssssssssssssssss?"
"Well don't!"
They passed through Shelob's lair during the night. And before you say it, yes I am rushing, no I am not describing, yes I am tired, and yes the journey through Shelob's lair does take more than one night. But tough!
Gollum cried out to Shelob "Parting is such sweet sorrow!"
Shelob cried out to Gollum "Bugger off, and quit using quotes!"
The ring turned to Gollum, or at least it tried, do you know how difficult it is to see someone when you're in their pocket. The ring glowed a bit and muffled something. Smeagol held him out and eventually turned to face the ring.
"So Gollum, where to next?"
"Homeseses?"
There was a pause between them, the wind blew, and swept up a dragonfly, which was later eaten by a fish from the marsh.
"So Gollum, where to next?"
"Homeseses?"
A wolf howled randomly, realised it was alone from its pack, and turned away embarrassed.
"So Gollum, where to next?"
"Homesesses?"
Suspicion was arising that the ring was perhaps suggesting something, and Smeagol was not very quick.
"Let's go to Hobbiton!" cried the ring. And they did. Although not as quickly as that, as transportation hasn't been invented yet. By the way this is continued...