A/N: Hey everyone! So, my one-shot "In the Dark" has been well received thus far. I thought it might be interesting to take the one-shot for Jade and do more one-shots for other characters that take place at the same moment Jade is having her little inner reflection. I think I'm going to do at least 3 more of these. So now I present to you the second little one- shot companion piece for my story "Harry Potter and the Order of Sorcerers"! This one is a TINY bit different.. it's written in 1st person point of view.

Disclaimer: From here on out I'd like for my wonderful readers to assume that I own nothing but Alanni Jade... at least where this fanfiction is concerned.

After letting Lucius get a glimpse of the great Mistress of the Cards, he and I returned to my office to have a little drink. I really cannot stand the man, so I quickly down my glass of firewhiskey, and wait patiently for him to finish his own drink. Of course, Lucius takes his time with the drink, savoring the flavor of the alcohol. Lucius always has been one to enjoy the finer things in life (and this particular bottle is amongst the finer things in life).

I listen to him as he babbles on and on about how great our master is, how he looks forward to cleansing the world of Muggles, Mudbloods, and dirty Half-Breeds. I sometimes wonder if he realizes that our wonderful master isn't exactly of the purest of blood. I also sometimes wonder if Lucius ever listened to anything I told him about genetics. Of course he wouldn't, but if he had Lucius would realize that in order to keep magic alive and keep the wizarding race healthy the genes need to be spread apart. It's simply a bad idea when cousins marry. Which is why I never let my father marry me off to any of my relatives.

Sometimes I wonder if Lucius will ever shut up. He's still talking. I think he's in love with the sound of his own voice. How could I have ever looked up to this man? How could I have ever admired him? I mean, if nothing else, I would've respected him at least somewhat growing up, in the way that I respect all the members of my family (after all, they are the only family I've got... and it's still sometimes hard to believe that Lucius is my second cousin).

Finally, after one of his trademark cryptic warnings about keeping my loyalties in tact, Lucius floos out of my office and back to his manor. After glancing up at the clock on my wall I decide that there is just enough time before lunch to have a shower. Sure, I took a shower this morning... but after being with Lucius I feel quite dirty again.

I let the shower run while I undress. Damned buttons... sometimes I just can't stand them. There are too many! But I've always worn clothes like these. My parents were very traditional. And I feel most comfortable in them. I look at the clock beside my bed. There's twenty minutes before lunch. Just enough time.

The scalding hot water of the shower burns my skin, but if I don't keep it this hot I can't get all the filth off of me. Some would call me a masochist for taking a shower like this. Actually, I think the only person who would understand would be Jade. No, Lani. I must remember to call her Lani. But she has always been Jade in my mind.

We are becoming closer... becoming good friends. I don't know if I'm frightened or overjoyed. I really don't want to let her get too close to me. Albus is too close. He's like a father to me (and that's pretty strange considering my own father isn't like a father to me). I constantly find myself seeking out Albus' approval, and relishing the feeling of Albus being proud of me. I'm scared to find that I have begun to seek out not only Lani's approval, but her attention in general. I want to spend time with her. But I can't get close to her. I'll probably be dead before the end of this school year, and I just can't let her suffer because of me.

And I've got to remember to distance myself from Kinomoto as well... Sakura is a wonderful girl. She's so... good, pure. I don't want to make her dirty by being around her. Which reminds me, I should make the shower hotter next time.

I finally get out of the shower and dry myself with a charm. A quick glance over at the clock in my bedroom lets me know that I've got about five minutes before the magical bell will ring and signal the beginning of lunch. I dress as quickly as possibly, and put every emotion out of my mind. I must act the part of the hated Potions Professor now, because I will be out amongst the students. I must favor all those in Slytherin, and slight every other student. I must not-so-secretly despise Muggles and Mudbloods because if I don't those brats in my house will run to their parents and tell them that Severus is behaving strangely. Their parents, in turn, will tell Voldemort, who will then kill me.

But perhaps I should die. I don't like having to act the way I do. I want to be able to openly praise any student in my class, regardless of house. I want to live, yes, but not if it means that I have to keep up this pointless charade.

For now I'll keep living the lie. Oh, and there's the bell. I must get to lunch so that I can scowl at "Dumbledore's Golden Trio" as Potter, Weasley, and Granger are sometimes called. And I must remember to be rude to Kinomoto. Oh, and I've also got to remember to ignore Lani. She sits next to me at every meal, but if I don't stop talking to her soon then I will never be able to. Damnit... here she comes. If only I could hide in the shadows... but then again, the Great Hall doesn't have shadows.

Damn.

A/N: Ooo. That was fun. It turned out longer than the last one. Hopefully you all liked it. I will do at least 3 more of these (one for Harry, one for Eriol, and one for Sakura). I think that's all that I will do though. So thank you for reading! Please review and let me know what you think! Now I'd like to thank the wonderful people who have already reviewed "in the dark" (I'll also make mention of them in the next A/N on the main fic)!

Freaky Person: Vote is accounted for. - The ending is going to depend on whatever mood I'm in when I write it though, probably. That's how the tone for most of my stories goes. I always write each chapter all at one, so that the tone of the chapter is the same and it always depends on what kind of mood I'm in. Thank you so much for your review! I greatly appreciate it! And I'm glad you like my stories!

Baby-sakura: Yes! I am writing more of "HP: OoS"! I should have chapter ten posted either tomorrow night (6/17) or by Friday night (6/18). Thank you so much for your interest! And thank you for reviewing!!

Ildreen Love: I wish I could tell you what Jade was up to, but then.. that'd ruin the story, now wouldn't it? - You'll just have to wait and find out! Thank you so much for your review!

Thanks everyone! Come back soon! I should have another one-shot for this series by Friday or Saturday. –Aiko.

Shameless Plug: Go check out anything and everything written by Mikazukino Hikari! She's going to be putting up a series of one-shots that are the result of the two of us being very very silly. So go read those!