Secrets, Conspiracies and Amazon Law
Thoughts {Japanese} [Chinese]
Talon Residence, Kansas
Ryoga was still shivering. Those damn Americans...how did they know about my curse? I must be Ranma's Fault...there's no other explanation for it. The little black pig paced in his containment area. If I thought those dogs wouldn't bark and bite like crazy I would just break out, but they would raise all sorts of noise. So the pig called P-Chan sat down and began planning his revenge on Ranma.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------ "What do you mean she's on her way here?" Jennifer looked Ranma straight in the eye, a considerably easier feat now that he was a she.
"Kasumi said she was getting her passport, and visa stuff around so that she could come out here. Something about a website, and Nabiki getting stalked." Ranma took a deep breath to calm herself.
"Is she going to have to stay with us?"
"umm.... I think that is why they are sending her." Ranma said meekly feeling incredibly guilty about the whole situation.
"Mom's not going to be exactly thrilled but if Akane's sister is in danger I am sure she won't mind. And if worse comes to worse she can stay at my grandmothers."
"Where's your Grandmother live?" Ranma was slightly surprised because they had not mentioned any nearby family before.
"Across town."
"Across town? How come you never go visit her?" Ranma was slightly confused about having family available but never going to see them.
"Ah...cause its boring over there?" Jennifer was caught off guard by the question, "besides Mom's over there a lot so we get all the news from her."
Ranma just shook his head still not quite understanding the concept. Jennifer decided that it was a good time to change the subject.
"So what are we going to do with P-Chan?"
"What about him?" Ranma started heading towards the back door.
"Well...he's a guy too. We can't just keep him locked up in the back yard like livestock." Jennifer rushed
"Eh...why not he deserves it. Always pretending to be a pig to be around 'kane. The little pervert." Ranma glared at the pig through the backdoor window. The black pig started to glare back. Jennifer watched as they had an unspoken staring contest.
"Ranma, quit doing that it's freaky to see someone have a staring contest with a pig, even if he is a guy." Ranma still didn't look away, so Jennifer being who she was pinched her on the arm.
"Ouch. That hurt. You're as bad as Akane..." Ranma looked out the backdoor window to see P-Chan sticking out his tongue and shaking his butt at Ranma. "And you gave to stupid porker a reason to gloat. Besides if he wanted to get out he would, he just doesn't want to blow his cover. The fact he has no clothes would also prevent him from doing much anyway."
Jennifer sighed and shook her head. "So what are you going to do about the anime?"
"I plan on watching what you have and then find out who made my life into a cartoon."
"You don't plan on watching it all today do you?"
"Why not?"
"Um...because we have the 2 movies, 5 of the 7 seasons and all the OAVs." Jennifer went into her bedroom to calculate the numbers. "Ranma that would take you roughly 2.6 days just to watch what we have."
"There's that much of it..." I suddenly feel very ill Ranma sat down on the floor before she passed out.
"There's stuff that was left out of the Anime from the manga. Like the whole wedding disaster and the Saffron incident and probably some other stuff I can't remember" Jennifer stated as she came out of her bedroom to see Ranma on the floor holding her head between her knees. "Are you okay...stupid question...are you going to be okay?"
"How much do you know about me."? Ranma asked quietly.
"Well I am sure that the anime is nothing near what you all really are and stuff..." Jennifer babbled nervously afraid that Ranma was going to crack.
"Just tell me what you know," Ranma looked at her. Her piercing blue eyes pleading with her, "please."
Jennifer felt defeated and sat down across from Ranma. "Okay but I don't think you are going to like what you hear."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------- Tendo Dojo, Nerima
"Dr. Tofu doesn't think you should go by yourself, Nabiki."
"Are you sure that man thinks when you are around him?" Nabiki quickly decided that making fun of Dr. Tofu's shyness was not safe when she saw the angry and protective look her sister gave her for a split second before it was replaced by her normal freakishly happy demeanor. "Eh...right. So is that why you haven't let Mousse go home?"
"Right. I thought it would be nice if Mousse went with you."
"What! I am not going to be Nabiki's body guard while she goes to America." Mousse crossed his arms and sulked slightly. Kasumi got up and went into the kitchen and quickly came back with a book in her hands. She opened the book to the book-marked page and gave it to Nabiki.
"Oh...Mousse I don't think you're going to have much of a choice." Nabiki stated as she continued to read. Mousse raised his head to look at Nabiki. He turned pale when he read the cover of the book she was reading.
"Where did you get that book?"
"Shampoo left it here the very first time she came to visit." Kasumi said cheerfully, "I figured she forgot it when she was trying to attack Ranma's girl side that day. I kept it with my other books to keep it safe." Nabiki just looked at Kasumi for a moment before reading aloud.
"According to this, if a male outsider defeats a man of the Amazon tribe and is not killed, then that man becomes indebted to the outsider indefinitely. I guess that means you Ranma's slave or servant right?"
Mousse just looked at her blankly, not willing to acknowledge the one rule he had thought that Ranma had no idea about. Nabiki continued, "and since Ranma and Akane are betrothed that means you must listen to us too. Because we are practically family." Nabiki paused to look at Mousse, "did you not know about your own law?"
"I knew but since Ranma never took on that right I just assumed he didn't know about it and therefore I was safe. Cologne and Shampoo also knew but were unwilling to lose me as a tribal member." Mousse stated quietly.
"Translation: you are cheap labor for the Cat Café right?" Nabiki nearly missed the minute movement of Mousse's head in agreement to her statement. She looked at her sister who was acting like this was an everyday issue and was pleasantly refilling everyone's tea. Have we overlooked you, sis? Or are you schizophrenic?
"So Mousse, you'll go with Nabiki won't you?" Mousse looked at Kasumi who was smilingly pleasantly at him.
"When do we leave?" Mousse said defeated.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------ Kansas
Ranma wasn't feeling any better after Jennifer told her what she knew. They know so much about me and everyone I know Ranma looked up at Jennifer who was staring at her intensely. Must be thinking I am gonna go crazy or something.
"You ok?" Jennifer asked tentatively.
"Don't know. You know a lot about me but not everything. What you do know sounds exaggerated or downsized depending on what event you're talking about. But then you talk about other stuff, and tell it as if you were there. Its really creepy." Ranma took Jennifer's hands, "please promise me that you won't tell Akane. Promise."
Jennifer nodded solemnly
"Good. I watch the show a little at a time and see what all is on there." Ranma stopped suddenly, "I guess everyone else is home."
"How do you know?"
"I can hear them outside." Ranma started to get up.
"Ranma you need to get out of here." Jennifer said panicked.
"Eh...why?"
"You're a girl. And I don't know if we can get you hot water fast enough to cover that fact up." Ranma looked down at her chest and cussed in Japanese.
"Hey, tell 'em I went for a walk or something." Ranma was out the backdoor before Jennifer could say anything else.
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"Stupid Mousse." Shampoo rode her bike across the rooftops of Nerima, searching for the blind boy. Its not that I care where he is but he was supposed to be spying on Ranma. It had been four days since she had seen Mousse and over a week since Ranma and Akane had disappeared also. Shampoo looked down to see Ukyo closing shop for the evening, she changed directions and landed smoothly next to Ukyo.
"Spatula-girl, have you seen Ranma?" Shampoo looked at Ukyo's face for any signs of lying.
"Not for a while. You're looking for him too huh?" Ukyo went inside her shop and Shampoo followed. "Have you tried asking Nabiki?" Ukyo hoped that Shampoo would spill any information she might have received from the middle Tendo girl.
"Shampoo no see mercenary girl. She disappear."
Ukyo thought about it for a moment. "Come to think of it I haven't seen her for about four days."
"Four day? Shampoo no see Mousse for four day either." Shampoo thought aloud.
"You don't think they would have run off together do you?" Ukyo said acting serious but incredibly pleased by the surprised look on Shampoo's face.
"Mousse too stupid to leave Japan without Shampoo or Great Grandmother." Shampoo said snobbishly.
"Except of course, the fact that he was smart enough to come to Japan on his own?" Ukyo's eyes glinted at the small worried look that crossed Shampoo's proud face for a split second.
"Well if you no help Shampoo look for Ranma on own." Shampoo left Ukyo's restaurant leaving Ukyo trying incredibly hard not to laugh at Shampoo.
"At least I know that he's in America." Ukyo smirked as she continued to clean up her shop.
Cologne cackled as she hopped back to the Cat Café, "Some people should be more careful with their secrets."
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Genma was walking home from his day at Dr. Tofu's. He was currently in Panda form being too lazy to heat up water after the old lady got him this morning and the fact he preferred that form because it usually meant more food and less work. Unfortunately for him it also made him much easier to locate in the midst of a crowd, particularly the one he was going through when Cologne hopped on his shoulder.
"Why, Hello Mr. Panda. Would you mind taking me to the Cat Café?" Cologne crooned.
Genma looked at her suspiciously for a moment before holding up a sign that said "you buying?"
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Shampoo was rather surprised to find her Great Grandmother letting panda Genma eat as much ramen as he could when she returned to the Cat Café.
"Great Grandmother? What you doing?" Shampoo sat down across the devouring beast.
"Watch and learn child." Cologne poured hot water on Genma's head; this didn't phase him in the least until Cologne hit him in the head. "Will you stop gorging yourself for a moment please."
Genma stopped eating long enough to say, "What is it that you wish of me, most Honorable Grandmother." Shampoo rolled her eyes at him from across the table. At the same time Cologne hit him yet again with her stick.
"Don't suck up to me. Tell where Akane Tendo and my future son-in-law went and then you can tell me where Mousse has gone also."
"I am bound by honor to keep that information a secret." Shampoo got up and went to the cash register and started pushing buttons. She then brought a receipt to Cologne.
"Either answer my questions or pay the bill you just racked up." Cologne showed Genma the fairly pricey bill and his face paled. He slumped his head in defeat.
"Soun, please forgive me."
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Ukyo watched Cologne lead Genma away. She had been watching from a distance the events unfolding in the café. Unfortunately, she couldn't read lips.
"He told them something." She watched as Cologne and Shampoo looked at each other and started to hurriedly close up shop and pack, completely ignoring Genma as he snuck out the door. Ukyo ran across the rooftops so that she could corn him on his way home. Genma looked slightly panicked and worried when she jumped in front of him with her best Spatula ready.
"Alright Old Man, tell me what you know and I promise I won't hurt you too bad."
"I don't know what you are talking about, my dear sweet Ukyo." Genma tried to walk by but was blocked by Ukyo's spatula.
"Don't you "My dear sweet Ukyo" me. Tell me what you told Shampoo or you will be sorry." Ukyo was practically growling at this point. Genma knew that buttering up Ukyo never worked, but he had done it anyway and now she was furious.
Happosai watched the scene with some interest, until Genma again refused Ukyo, and she started to beat him severely.
"Stupid fool" he shook his head and started heading back in the direction of the dojo yelling, "Oh, look at my silky darlings."
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"Hello, Grandfather Happosai." Kasumi greeted Happosai as he came through the kitchen door, "Have you seen Mr. Saotome?"
"Kasumi, my dear, would you like to help me press my beautiful collection?" Happosai looked up hopefully at Kasumi, who blinked at his obvious change in subject.
"Grandfather? Where is Mr. Saotome?"
"You caught me my dear...he was getting attacked by that lovely Ukyo girl." Happosai left the kitchen to iron his collection.
"Oh my." he probably told her everything, but there's not much I can do about it...except. Kasumi went to the phone and started dialing.
Genma dragged himself in 15 minutes later. Kasumi looked at him as he came in through the kitchen door. I must be imagining things in my old age. I could have sworn that Kasumi just glared at me Genma blinked and Kasumi was wearing her normal expression.
"Father would like to speak to you before dinner, Mr. Saotome." Genma grunted in acknowledgement and headed into the main room of the house. Kasumi braced herself as her father started screaming at Genma using his terrifying dragonhead technique.
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It had been a few days since Ranma had found out about the anime. He continued to watch it little by little in Jon's room. It was getting harder and harder to explain away the time he spent alone to Akane. Right now he was dealing with Jon staring at the back of his head. Ranma finally gave in and turned around to talk to him.
"Can I help you?" He hadn't meant for it to sound short but it did. Jon looked startled for a moment, and then took a deep breath.
"Can I see you do it?"
"Nani?"
"Can I see you change, you know into a girl?" Ranma stared at him for a moment. He didn't sense any sort of lust, or perverseness from him but just pure curiosity. He sighed and took the water bottle Jon was holding and dumped over his head. He could feel the change immediately and held her breath for Jon's reaction.
"Holy shit..." Jon just stared at her chest for a good ten seconds before he realized that he was staring, blushed profusely. "I am soo sorry. I don't usually leer at girls but you were a guy just a second ago so its...well shocking to say the least." . "Your telling me...seeing as I am now a girl will you find me some hot water?" Jon nodded enthusiastically and left the room in search of hot water. He went upstairs to the kitchen to find the girls at the table. Akane being curious and highly suspicious of what Ranma and Jon were doing easily cornered him when he tried to start some boiling water.
"What exactly ARE you two doing down there." Jon backed up just a tiny bit; he was under threat of death not to tell Akane anything. He wasn't really afraid of his sisters so much as Ranma but the threat was still there.
"Akane, leave 'em alone. There are probably doing some male bonding and looking up Porn together." Jennifer stuck her tongue out in disgust as she said that and laughed at the surprised and then disgusted look that crossed Akane's face. Jon seeing this as perhaps his only way out did a half shrug, half nod.
"That is so disgusting." Akane backed away from Jon as if he smelled gross.
Kate laughed at both her older sister and Akane then. "I happen to like porn, leave them alone. Besides its perfectly natural." Akane just looked from Kate to Jennifer. Jennifer just rolled her eyes and Kate laughed again. Distracted by the conversation at hand, Akane moved farther away from Jon, leaving him alone.
"You actually like it?" Akane was caught between mystified and disgusted.
"Yeah sure, me and my last boyfriend would watch it together." Kate just watched in amusement as Akane's turned a bright shade of pink.
"Oh leave her alone, Kate. You are embarrassing her." Jennifer gave Akane a sympathetic look.
"That would be the point." Akane looked even more embarrassed at being made fun of, "my, my Akane, don't tell me you're a prude" Kate said in a mocking voice.
"Well...I...uh..."
Jon took that moment to make his exit with the now boiling water. He didn't want to hear anymore of that conversation then he had. He came in to the room and waited for Ranma to realize he was there.
"Thanks a lot, man." Ranma stood up to stand in the middle of the room. Jon poured the water over his head. Ranma went from a high-pitched screech to a yelp within a second. "Next time though, it just needs to be hot, not boiling. How did you get past the one woman army upstairs?"
"Oh, well they are convinced we are watching porn." Jon stated nonchalantly as he sat down in his chair. Ranma on the other hand had a momentary lapse in gravity and was laying face first on the floor.
"You told them WHAT?!?" Jon looked at him for a second.
"I didn't tell them anything. They thought it up all on their lonesome." Jon offered Ranma a hand, "Besides its not weird for guys to watch porn, sometimes."
"Don't they think you are a pervert?"
"Well Yeah, but to girls all guys are perverts in some degree. My theory is that they call us perverts as a defense to the fact that they are more perverted than we are. They just are too uppity to admit it."
Ranma thought about that and remembered the first time Akane had seen his male half. He smiled and winced at the same time at the memory. "You know I think you may be on to something there."
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Jennifer was ignoring the debate going on at the table. Instead she was looking out the window, watching the cats. Loki and Fella Cat seemed to be fighting, that was no big deal, but what she was watching was the fact that Fella seemed to be protecting another cat. It was a small longhaired cat, but she couldn't tell what color it was. Jennifer rolled her eyes; Loki couldn't do much damage as she was declawed. What was bothering her was the way the new cat seemed to look straight at her and was totally ignoring the other cats. Then a car pulled up and the cat ran across the street into the bushes. The car caught Jennifer's interest as two Asian people were getting out of it.
"Hey y'all. I think you sister's here, Akane. Looks like she brought someone with her."
Akane looked confused and went to the front door to greet her sister. The boys had come up from the basement at that very moment and everyone followed Akane to the door.
"She brought...Mousse?!?" Akane opened the door to help her sister bring things in.
"Mousse, What the..." Ranma followed Akane out the door. Mousse who was helping Nabiki with the luggage heard Ranma's voice. He suddenly dropped everything and headed straight towards Ranma at full speed.
"Oh no." Ranma backed up back into the house where Mousse followed.
{THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT, SAOTOME!!} Mousse chased Ranma through the house and then into the kitchen, shooting various weapons at him.
{Hey you got new weapons, Mousse.} Ranma seemed unconcerned by the fight. Meanwhile, Nabiki and Akane came into the house.
{He had to buy new ones when we reached, Wichita. In fact, he wouldn't leave until he bought them.} Nabiki watched the two boys fight, cringing when Mousse started to break windows and cabinet doors, Ranma avoided his blows.
The residents of the battle zone were watching horrified by the destruction. Ranma started to throw things back and Mousse, one of which was a large cast iron skillet. Jennifer and Kate jumped out of the way as it sailed into the dining room. Jennifer picked it up off the floor and ran screaming into the kitchen.
"JENNIFER, STAY BACK!!" Akane screamed as Jennifer ran in and hit Mousse on his head as hard as she could. Mousse suddenly stopped. He then fell, flat on his back, out cold.
"Oh my god. Did I kill him?" Jennifer whispered as she looked at Mousse. Ranma checked for a pulse. "Naw, he's still alive." Ranma took the now ruined skillet from Jennifer's shaking hands.
"Well now, isn't this an interesting turn of events."
Everyone turned to see Cologne and Shampoo walk into the room. Shampoo looked less then pleased as she went up to check on Mousse. She saw that he had a pulse and backed away from him.
[Do it Shampoo] Cologne ordered. Shampoo nodded, and took both of Jennifer hands in her own. Akane, Ranma and Nabiki went to intercede what they thought might be the kiss of death.
Shampoo swallowed hard and began in perfect English, "Welcome to the Proud Amazon Tribe, Sister."
Thoughts {Japanese} [Chinese]
Talon Residence, Kansas
Ryoga was still shivering. Those damn Americans...how did they know about my curse? I must be Ranma's Fault...there's no other explanation for it. The little black pig paced in his containment area. If I thought those dogs wouldn't bark and bite like crazy I would just break out, but they would raise all sorts of noise. So the pig called P-Chan sat down and began planning his revenge on Ranma.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------ "What do you mean she's on her way here?" Jennifer looked Ranma straight in the eye, a considerably easier feat now that he was a she.
"Kasumi said she was getting her passport, and visa stuff around so that she could come out here. Something about a website, and Nabiki getting stalked." Ranma took a deep breath to calm herself.
"Is she going to have to stay with us?"
"umm.... I think that is why they are sending her." Ranma said meekly feeling incredibly guilty about the whole situation.
"Mom's not going to be exactly thrilled but if Akane's sister is in danger I am sure she won't mind. And if worse comes to worse she can stay at my grandmothers."
"Where's your Grandmother live?" Ranma was slightly surprised because they had not mentioned any nearby family before.
"Across town."
"Across town? How come you never go visit her?" Ranma was slightly confused about having family available but never going to see them.
"Ah...cause its boring over there?" Jennifer was caught off guard by the question, "besides Mom's over there a lot so we get all the news from her."
Ranma just shook his head still not quite understanding the concept. Jennifer decided that it was a good time to change the subject.
"So what are we going to do with P-Chan?"
"What about him?" Ranma started heading towards the back door.
"Well...he's a guy too. We can't just keep him locked up in the back yard like livestock." Jennifer rushed
"Eh...why not he deserves it. Always pretending to be a pig to be around 'kane. The little pervert." Ranma glared at the pig through the backdoor window. The black pig started to glare back. Jennifer watched as they had an unspoken staring contest.
"Ranma, quit doing that it's freaky to see someone have a staring contest with a pig, even if he is a guy." Ranma still didn't look away, so Jennifer being who she was pinched her on the arm.
"Ouch. That hurt. You're as bad as Akane..." Ranma looked out the backdoor window to see P-Chan sticking out his tongue and shaking his butt at Ranma. "And you gave to stupid porker a reason to gloat. Besides if he wanted to get out he would, he just doesn't want to blow his cover. The fact he has no clothes would also prevent him from doing much anyway."
Jennifer sighed and shook her head. "So what are you going to do about the anime?"
"I plan on watching what you have and then find out who made my life into a cartoon."
"You don't plan on watching it all today do you?"
"Why not?"
"Um...because we have the 2 movies, 5 of the 7 seasons and all the OAVs." Jennifer went into her bedroom to calculate the numbers. "Ranma that would take you roughly 2.6 days just to watch what we have."
"There's that much of it..." I suddenly feel very ill Ranma sat down on the floor before she passed out.
"There's stuff that was left out of the Anime from the manga. Like the whole wedding disaster and the Saffron incident and probably some other stuff I can't remember" Jennifer stated as she came out of her bedroom to see Ranma on the floor holding her head between her knees. "Are you okay...stupid question...are you going to be okay?"
"How much do you know about me."? Ranma asked quietly.
"Well I am sure that the anime is nothing near what you all really are and stuff..." Jennifer babbled nervously afraid that Ranma was going to crack.
"Just tell me what you know," Ranma looked at her. Her piercing blue eyes pleading with her, "please."
Jennifer felt defeated and sat down across from Ranma. "Okay but I don't think you are going to like what you hear."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------- Tendo Dojo, Nerima
"Dr. Tofu doesn't think you should go by yourself, Nabiki."
"Are you sure that man thinks when you are around him?" Nabiki quickly decided that making fun of Dr. Tofu's shyness was not safe when she saw the angry and protective look her sister gave her for a split second before it was replaced by her normal freakishly happy demeanor. "Eh...right. So is that why you haven't let Mousse go home?"
"Right. I thought it would be nice if Mousse went with you."
"What! I am not going to be Nabiki's body guard while she goes to America." Mousse crossed his arms and sulked slightly. Kasumi got up and went into the kitchen and quickly came back with a book in her hands. She opened the book to the book-marked page and gave it to Nabiki.
"Oh...Mousse I don't think you're going to have much of a choice." Nabiki stated as she continued to read. Mousse raised his head to look at Nabiki. He turned pale when he read the cover of the book she was reading.
"Where did you get that book?"
"Shampoo left it here the very first time she came to visit." Kasumi said cheerfully, "I figured she forgot it when she was trying to attack Ranma's girl side that day. I kept it with my other books to keep it safe." Nabiki just looked at Kasumi for a moment before reading aloud.
"According to this, if a male outsider defeats a man of the Amazon tribe and is not killed, then that man becomes indebted to the outsider indefinitely. I guess that means you Ranma's slave or servant right?"
Mousse just looked at her blankly, not willing to acknowledge the one rule he had thought that Ranma had no idea about. Nabiki continued, "and since Ranma and Akane are betrothed that means you must listen to us too. Because we are practically family." Nabiki paused to look at Mousse, "did you not know about your own law?"
"I knew but since Ranma never took on that right I just assumed he didn't know about it and therefore I was safe. Cologne and Shampoo also knew but were unwilling to lose me as a tribal member." Mousse stated quietly.
"Translation: you are cheap labor for the Cat Café right?" Nabiki nearly missed the minute movement of Mousse's head in agreement to her statement. She looked at her sister who was acting like this was an everyday issue and was pleasantly refilling everyone's tea. Have we overlooked you, sis? Or are you schizophrenic?
"So Mousse, you'll go with Nabiki won't you?" Mousse looked at Kasumi who was smilingly pleasantly at him.
"When do we leave?" Mousse said defeated.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------ Kansas
Ranma wasn't feeling any better after Jennifer told her what she knew. They know so much about me and everyone I know Ranma looked up at Jennifer who was staring at her intensely. Must be thinking I am gonna go crazy or something.
"You ok?" Jennifer asked tentatively.
"Don't know. You know a lot about me but not everything. What you do know sounds exaggerated or downsized depending on what event you're talking about. But then you talk about other stuff, and tell it as if you were there. Its really creepy." Ranma took Jennifer's hands, "please promise me that you won't tell Akane. Promise."
Jennifer nodded solemnly
"Good. I watch the show a little at a time and see what all is on there." Ranma stopped suddenly, "I guess everyone else is home."
"How do you know?"
"I can hear them outside." Ranma started to get up.
"Ranma you need to get out of here." Jennifer said panicked.
"Eh...why?"
"You're a girl. And I don't know if we can get you hot water fast enough to cover that fact up." Ranma looked down at her chest and cussed in Japanese.
"Hey, tell 'em I went for a walk or something." Ranma was out the backdoor before Jennifer could say anything else.
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"Stupid Mousse." Shampoo rode her bike across the rooftops of Nerima, searching for the blind boy. Its not that I care where he is but he was supposed to be spying on Ranma. It had been four days since she had seen Mousse and over a week since Ranma and Akane had disappeared also. Shampoo looked down to see Ukyo closing shop for the evening, she changed directions and landed smoothly next to Ukyo.
"Spatula-girl, have you seen Ranma?" Shampoo looked at Ukyo's face for any signs of lying.
"Not for a while. You're looking for him too huh?" Ukyo went inside her shop and Shampoo followed. "Have you tried asking Nabiki?" Ukyo hoped that Shampoo would spill any information she might have received from the middle Tendo girl.
"Shampoo no see mercenary girl. She disappear."
Ukyo thought about it for a moment. "Come to think of it I haven't seen her for about four days."
"Four day? Shampoo no see Mousse for four day either." Shampoo thought aloud.
"You don't think they would have run off together do you?" Ukyo said acting serious but incredibly pleased by the surprised look on Shampoo's face.
"Mousse too stupid to leave Japan without Shampoo or Great Grandmother." Shampoo said snobbishly.
"Except of course, the fact that he was smart enough to come to Japan on his own?" Ukyo's eyes glinted at the small worried look that crossed Shampoo's proud face for a split second.
"Well if you no help Shampoo look for Ranma on own." Shampoo left Ukyo's restaurant leaving Ukyo trying incredibly hard not to laugh at Shampoo.
"At least I know that he's in America." Ukyo smirked as she continued to clean up her shop.
Cologne cackled as she hopped back to the Cat Café, "Some people should be more careful with their secrets."
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Genma was walking home from his day at Dr. Tofu's. He was currently in Panda form being too lazy to heat up water after the old lady got him this morning and the fact he preferred that form because it usually meant more food and less work. Unfortunately for him it also made him much easier to locate in the midst of a crowd, particularly the one he was going through when Cologne hopped on his shoulder.
"Why, Hello Mr. Panda. Would you mind taking me to the Cat Café?" Cologne crooned.
Genma looked at her suspiciously for a moment before holding up a sign that said "you buying?"
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Shampoo was rather surprised to find her Great Grandmother letting panda Genma eat as much ramen as he could when she returned to the Cat Café.
"Great Grandmother? What you doing?" Shampoo sat down across the devouring beast.
"Watch and learn child." Cologne poured hot water on Genma's head; this didn't phase him in the least until Cologne hit him in the head. "Will you stop gorging yourself for a moment please."
Genma stopped eating long enough to say, "What is it that you wish of me, most Honorable Grandmother." Shampoo rolled her eyes at him from across the table. At the same time Cologne hit him yet again with her stick.
"Don't suck up to me. Tell where Akane Tendo and my future son-in-law went and then you can tell me where Mousse has gone also."
"I am bound by honor to keep that information a secret." Shampoo got up and went to the cash register and started pushing buttons. She then brought a receipt to Cologne.
"Either answer my questions or pay the bill you just racked up." Cologne showed Genma the fairly pricey bill and his face paled. He slumped his head in defeat.
"Soun, please forgive me."
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Ukyo watched Cologne lead Genma away. She had been watching from a distance the events unfolding in the café. Unfortunately, she couldn't read lips.
"He told them something." She watched as Cologne and Shampoo looked at each other and started to hurriedly close up shop and pack, completely ignoring Genma as he snuck out the door. Ukyo ran across the rooftops so that she could corn him on his way home. Genma looked slightly panicked and worried when she jumped in front of him with her best Spatula ready.
"Alright Old Man, tell me what you know and I promise I won't hurt you too bad."
"I don't know what you are talking about, my dear sweet Ukyo." Genma tried to walk by but was blocked by Ukyo's spatula.
"Don't you "My dear sweet Ukyo" me. Tell me what you told Shampoo or you will be sorry." Ukyo was practically growling at this point. Genma knew that buttering up Ukyo never worked, but he had done it anyway and now she was furious.
Happosai watched the scene with some interest, until Genma again refused Ukyo, and she started to beat him severely.
"Stupid fool" he shook his head and started heading back in the direction of the dojo yelling, "Oh, look at my silky darlings."
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"Hello, Grandfather Happosai." Kasumi greeted Happosai as he came through the kitchen door, "Have you seen Mr. Saotome?"
"Kasumi, my dear, would you like to help me press my beautiful collection?" Happosai looked up hopefully at Kasumi, who blinked at his obvious change in subject.
"Grandfather? Where is Mr. Saotome?"
"You caught me my dear...he was getting attacked by that lovely Ukyo girl." Happosai left the kitchen to iron his collection.
"Oh my." he probably told her everything, but there's not much I can do about it...except. Kasumi went to the phone and started dialing.
Genma dragged himself in 15 minutes later. Kasumi looked at him as he came in through the kitchen door. I must be imagining things in my old age. I could have sworn that Kasumi just glared at me Genma blinked and Kasumi was wearing her normal expression.
"Father would like to speak to you before dinner, Mr. Saotome." Genma grunted in acknowledgement and headed into the main room of the house. Kasumi braced herself as her father started screaming at Genma using his terrifying dragonhead technique.
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It had been a few days since Ranma had found out about the anime. He continued to watch it little by little in Jon's room. It was getting harder and harder to explain away the time he spent alone to Akane. Right now he was dealing with Jon staring at the back of his head. Ranma finally gave in and turned around to talk to him.
"Can I help you?" He hadn't meant for it to sound short but it did. Jon looked startled for a moment, and then took a deep breath.
"Can I see you do it?"
"Nani?"
"Can I see you change, you know into a girl?" Ranma stared at him for a moment. He didn't sense any sort of lust, or perverseness from him but just pure curiosity. He sighed and took the water bottle Jon was holding and dumped over his head. He could feel the change immediately and held her breath for Jon's reaction.
"Holy shit..." Jon just stared at her chest for a good ten seconds before he realized that he was staring, blushed profusely. "I am soo sorry. I don't usually leer at girls but you were a guy just a second ago so its...well shocking to say the least." . "Your telling me...seeing as I am now a girl will you find me some hot water?" Jon nodded enthusiastically and left the room in search of hot water. He went upstairs to the kitchen to find the girls at the table. Akane being curious and highly suspicious of what Ranma and Jon were doing easily cornered him when he tried to start some boiling water.
"What exactly ARE you two doing down there." Jon backed up just a tiny bit; he was under threat of death not to tell Akane anything. He wasn't really afraid of his sisters so much as Ranma but the threat was still there.
"Akane, leave 'em alone. There are probably doing some male bonding and looking up Porn together." Jennifer stuck her tongue out in disgust as she said that and laughed at the surprised and then disgusted look that crossed Akane's face. Jon seeing this as perhaps his only way out did a half shrug, half nod.
"That is so disgusting." Akane backed away from Jon as if he smelled gross.
Kate laughed at both her older sister and Akane then. "I happen to like porn, leave them alone. Besides its perfectly natural." Akane just looked from Kate to Jennifer. Jennifer just rolled her eyes and Kate laughed again. Distracted by the conversation at hand, Akane moved farther away from Jon, leaving him alone.
"You actually like it?" Akane was caught between mystified and disgusted.
"Yeah sure, me and my last boyfriend would watch it together." Kate just watched in amusement as Akane's turned a bright shade of pink.
"Oh leave her alone, Kate. You are embarrassing her." Jennifer gave Akane a sympathetic look.
"That would be the point." Akane looked even more embarrassed at being made fun of, "my, my Akane, don't tell me you're a prude" Kate said in a mocking voice.
"Well...I...uh..."
Jon took that moment to make his exit with the now boiling water. He didn't want to hear anymore of that conversation then he had. He came in to the room and waited for Ranma to realize he was there.
"Thanks a lot, man." Ranma stood up to stand in the middle of the room. Jon poured the water over his head. Ranma went from a high-pitched screech to a yelp within a second. "Next time though, it just needs to be hot, not boiling. How did you get past the one woman army upstairs?"
"Oh, well they are convinced we are watching porn." Jon stated nonchalantly as he sat down in his chair. Ranma on the other hand had a momentary lapse in gravity and was laying face first on the floor.
"You told them WHAT?!?" Jon looked at him for a second.
"I didn't tell them anything. They thought it up all on their lonesome." Jon offered Ranma a hand, "Besides its not weird for guys to watch porn, sometimes."
"Don't they think you are a pervert?"
"Well Yeah, but to girls all guys are perverts in some degree. My theory is that they call us perverts as a defense to the fact that they are more perverted than we are. They just are too uppity to admit it."
Ranma thought about that and remembered the first time Akane had seen his male half. He smiled and winced at the same time at the memory. "You know I think you may be on to something there."
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Jennifer was ignoring the debate going on at the table. Instead she was looking out the window, watching the cats. Loki and Fella Cat seemed to be fighting, that was no big deal, but what she was watching was the fact that Fella seemed to be protecting another cat. It was a small longhaired cat, but she couldn't tell what color it was. Jennifer rolled her eyes; Loki couldn't do much damage as she was declawed. What was bothering her was the way the new cat seemed to look straight at her and was totally ignoring the other cats. Then a car pulled up and the cat ran across the street into the bushes. The car caught Jennifer's interest as two Asian people were getting out of it.
"Hey y'all. I think you sister's here, Akane. Looks like she brought someone with her."
Akane looked confused and went to the front door to greet her sister. The boys had come up from the basement at that very moment and everyone followed Akane to the door.
"She brought...Mousse?!?" Akane opened the door to help her sister bring things in.
"Mousse, What the..." Ranma followed Akane out the door. Mousse who was helping Nabiki with the luggage heard Ranma's voice. He suddenly dropped everything and headed straight towards Ranma at full speed.
"Oh no." Ranma backed up back into the house where Mousse followed.
{THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT, SAOTOME!!} Mousse chased Ranma through the house and then into the kitchen, shooting various weapons at him.
{Hey you got new weapons, Mousse.} Ranma seemed unconcerned by the fight. Meanwhile, Nabiki and Akane came into the house.
{He had to buy new ones when we reached, Wichita. In fact, he wouldn't leave until he bought them.} Nabiki watched the two boys fight, cringing when Mousse started to break windows and cabinet doors, Ranma avoided his blows.
The residents of the battle zone were watching horrified by the destruction. Ranma started to throw things back and Mousse, one of which was a large cast iron skillet. Jennifer and Kate jumped out of the way as it sailed into the dining room. Jennifer picked it up off the floor and ran screaming into the kitchen.
"JENNIFER, STAY BACK!!" Akane screamed as Jennifer ran in and hit Mousse on his head as hard as she could. Mousse suddenly stopped. He then fell, flat on his back, out cold.
"Oh my god. Did I kill him?" Jennifer whispered as she looked at Mousse. Ranma checked for a pulse. "Naw, he's still alive." Ranma took the now ruined skillet from Jennifer's shaking hands.
"Well now, isn't this an interesting turn of events."
Everyone turned to see Cologne and Shampoo walk into the room. Shampoo looked less then pleased as she went up to check on Mousse. She saw that he had a pulse and backed away from him.
[Do it Shampoo] Cologne ordered. Shampoo nodded, and took both of Jennifer hands in her own. Akane, Ranma and Nabiki went to intercede what they thought might be the kiss of death.
Shampoo swallowed hard and began in perfect English, "Welcome to the Proud Amazon Tribe, Sister."