Disclaimer- I don't own anything from Harry Potter. Well, except the plot,
most of it anyway, and Diana Renton, Nicole Portman, and everyone else I
created but was too tired to type.
(A/N I changed the title because it sucked and I hated it. sorry, deal with it. anyway on with the show, more useless arguments and pranks ahead! Next chapter will have shit actually happeneing) *~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The Hogwarts Express came to a screeching halt. Seven young teenagers proceeded to exit the compartment, all of them trying to be the first one out.
"Evans, move!" James commanded, and he childishly tried to shimmy his way through the door. He eventually got out, much to her disappointment. She followed him, however and waited for Diana and Nicole at the front of the train. James waited for Remus, Peter and Sirius.
"So Potter.." She slyly commented." Are you excited for the sorting?"
The sorting ceremony was the time, every year, that the three girls pulled pranks on the so-called original pranksters. Diana first came up with the idea second year, after Sirius had turned her trunk into a pebble and James crushed it with his foot. She was so red with anger during that ceremony that she plotted to embarrass them all in front of the whole school. Lily however was the one who came up with the idea. She suggested that they make them fell their wrath by letting fleas loose in their pants. A simple inching spell would produce the same effect. She had read it in a book that summer. Well, needless to say, they were screaming and hopping up and down so much that they were made fun of for months. Thus, a true rivalry was born. The three girls looked forward to it every year.
"Always." He replied, as if he didn't have a care in the world.
"Well, I wouldn't be so smug about it if I were you." She said. She was excited. They had been plotting it since the very last day of school.
"Grow up Evans." He said. " I couldn't care less." He replied, while folding his arms.
"I just hope that, this year, you remembered to wear you clean underwear. Although I am going to miss the Mickey Mouse boxers tremendously." James turned beat red. Last year they had made their pants disappear at the announcing of the prefects. Black and Potter stood up wearing nothing but their boxers. Even McGonagal found that one funny.
"Please, I knew you wanted me. In fact, I bet I'm making you hot right now." He smugly said. Sex jokes always made him feel more at ease round her.
"You'd like to think that, wouldn't you? A real man doesn't have to prove he's hot by having his own little entourage of mindless twits tell him so."
"They are not mindless. They just see me for the epitome of masculinity I really am."
"Oh, and how, pray tell, do you know that?" she said, rolling her eyes at him.
"Well lets just say that they have made their feelings perfectly clear..."
"What by screaming your name in bed? That's not exactly a valid reason now is it? And it doesn't exactly require neurons. And you know Potter, being a male slut isn't exactly something to be particularly proud of."
"Well I tend to disagree with that." Sirius spat as he approached the front of the train with Remus and Peter.
"Well, you would, now wouldn't you Black?" Diana spoke out behind him with her arms folded. She and Nicole took their places next to Lily and scowled.
"Shut up Renton. Oh, and your skirt dear. I couldn't help but notice your cute little pink thong under it. It's sticking out you know." Sirius said, as he reached behind her and snapped it.
"Oh you'll pay for that one Black! What in the hell makes you think I would ever let you touch me? Back the fuck away, or suffer the consequences." She said, angry as all hell and clutching her wand.
"Oh, touchy aren't we. I bet you wanted me to see it, not that I would have been the first." he said.
"Dream on asshole." She casually remarked as she pushed her way off the train and onto the pavement. Lily and Nicole followed, each scowling at the boys. Nicole, however, smiled at Remus shyly. Everyone noticed, and respectfully rolled their eyes in disgust.
The boys stared at the girls as they were walking away. As Sirius walked out of the train, he turned to his friends. Peter, Remus and James were still staring.
"So, what do you think we should do to the bitches this year?" he casually said.
"I say we make them pay for what they did to us last year. In fact, why wait. Lets get them back for all of the sorting ceremonies they foiled for us." James smirked.
"Now?" Remus asked, confused. "That's in like half an hour. You'll never be able to come up with something that good in this short amount of time."
"Oh, I've already got it." James smirked.
"Oh do you now? Do tell." Sirius said while rubbing his hands together.
"Well Evans made a little comment to me earlier that sparked an idea in my head. One that will make her wish she never crossed paths with James Potter." James said.
"A little dramatic don't' you think Prongs?" Remus said.
"Shut up and let me finish. This year, the Marauders will take over the sorting ceremony."
"Oh you leave me out of this." Peter said. He always was a tad afraid of those girls.
"Don't worry about it Peter we can do it on our own. Unless..." Sirius said looking at Remus.
"What?" Remus answered, annoyed.
"Are you going to participate or are you just going to sit there and twiddle your thumbs the whole time?" James said.
"We don't even know what the prank is yet." He said. They glared at him. "But I guess I'll do it, whatever."
"So finish what you were saying there Prongs. What exactly did Evans say to you before?" Sirius asked.
"Well, she said that a mindless twit who screams my name in bed doesn't make me a man or some shit like that."
"Ugh, I hope to god she was exaggerating." Remus said. "It's not exactly a pleasant sound to hear when you sleep next door." He said, unfortunately remembering the fifth year sex phase that Sirius and James went through. He thought it just wasn't right.
"Oh shut up Moony. You're just upset it wasn't you." Sirius joked.
"Well not everyone can be like you Padfoot. Some men like nice girls who wont give it up on the first date." Remus answered.
"Hey those girls were nice. It was after us that they became the sex kittens they are now. We have taught them well." James said with pride.
"You guys, this conversation is making me a little uncomfortable." Peter chimed in.
"Don't' worry Wormtail, old boy. We'll find a nice, pretty girl to shag you." Sirius joked.
"Your disgusting." Remus said. "Anyway, how is that grounds for a prank. She was merely stating the obvious."
"Well I was just wondering what it might sound like for Renton and Evans to scream our names. That is, Sirius and me. They hate us the most so it's only fitting." James said.
"Well how are you going to do that? To make them do it you would need the Imperious Curse. You don't even know how to do that and you would go to Azkaban for the rest of your pitiful lives if you did." Remus reminded them as they were walking up the pathway to school. The girls were still a far length ahead of them.
"No, no cursing, just a little charm. In fact they don't even have to scream out our names. We can save that for the real thing. It would make revenge sweeter." James explained.
"You know." Peter started. "Don't you guys think you are taking this grudge thing a bit too far. Can you guys just be friends? You are actually thinking about taking advantage of them now. They would never even get that close to you."
"He's right. Evans and Renton would probably rather get sodomized by a Hippogriff and a banshee at the same time then ever come within five feet of you two with the intention of doing anything remotely sexual." Remus reminded them.
"What Renton is a slut, I think she would if I got her drunk enough." Sirius said laughing.
"I thought you said she was ugly." Remus said.
"Well that was before I saw that pretty, pink little thong. Don't get me wrong I still hate her with a passion, but now she's at least hot." Sirius answered.
"Do you ever think about anything else?" Peter asked.
"Rarely." James and Sirius said at the same time.
"So anyway, back to what I was saying." James said. "We'll put a bit of a charm on them. One that will make them feel incredibly good, in fact, a little too good."
"You're sick!" Remus yelled. He knew what he meant, and it disgusted him because Remus was such a good hearted gentlemen.
"Are you saying what I think you're saying Prongs?" Sirius said with a mischievous twinkle in his eye.
"Oh yeah." James smirked.
"I don't get it." Peter said, confused. James and Sirius just looked at each other and grinned, their dirty minds just swimming with ideas.
"Vibrating panties." They said, together because great minds think alike. Remus just rolled his eyes at his loser, sex crazed friends and continued to walk with them. Peter blushed uncontrollably while James and Sirius couldn't wait to get inside the school. They were practically skipping (yes, they skip occasionally) and couldn't wipe the stupid grin off their faces.
(And there's where I leave you. REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! I should probably change the rating because as you can see I have a dirty mind that has finally come out and there will be more blatant sex jokes in the future. YES, SEX WILL BE THE RECURRING THEME, I HAVE DECIDED. Now the girls have gotten themselves into quite a mess haven't they, he he. And yes I decided to make James and Sirius manwhores, its just more fun for me that way. Thanks to all the lovely people who actually got up off their asses and reviewed. I ma sorry to day that those who expected a nice sweet story will NOT get it, I am sorry. More bitch slapping, manwhoring, slutty ways ahead, with a little bit of the dark side to give the plot a twist. And don't forget to review me dammit! ~Your humble author, Angelxd14
(A/N I changed the title because it sucked and I hated it. sorry, deal with it. anyway on with the show, more useless arguments and pranks ahead! Next chapter will have shit actually happeneing) *~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The Hogwarts Express came to a screeching halt. Seven young teenagers proceeded to exit the compartment, all of them trying to be the first one out.
"Evans, move!" James commanded, and he childishly tried to shimmy his way through the door. He eventually got out, much to her disappointment. She followed him, however and waited for Diana and Nicole at the front of the train. James waited for Remus, Peter and Sirius.
"So Potter.." She slyly commented." Are you excited for the sorting?"
The sorting ceremony was the time, every year, that the three girls pulled pranks on the so-called original pranksters. Diana first came up with the idea second year, after Sirius had turned her trunk into a pebble and James crushed it with his foot. She was so red with anger during that ceremony that she plotted to embarrass them all in front of the whole school. Lily however was the one who came up with the idea. She suggested that they make them fell their wrath by letting fleas loose in their pants. A simple inching spell would produce the same effect. She had read it in a book that summer. Well, needless to say, they were screaming and hopping up and down so much that they were made fun of for months. Thus, a true rivalry was born. The three girls looked forward to it every year.
"Always." He replied, as if he didn't have a care in the world.
"Well, I wouldn't be so smug about it if I were you." She said. She was excited. They had been plotting it since the very last day of school.
"Grow up Evans." He said. " I couldn't care less." He replied, while folding his arms.
"I just hope that, this year, you remembered to wear you clean underwear. Although I am going to miss the Mickey Mouse boxers tremendously." James turned beat red. Last year they had made their pants disappear at the announcing of the prefects. Black and Potter stood up wearing nothing but their boxers. Even McGonagal found that one funny.
"Please, I knew you wanted me. In fact, I bet I'm making you hot right now." He smugly said. Sex jokes always made him feel more at ease round her.
"You'd like to think that, wouldn't you? A real man doesn't have to prove he's hot by having his own little entourage of mindless twits tell him so."
"They are not mindless. They just see me for the epitome of masculinity I really am."
"Oh, and how, pray tell, do you know that?" she said, rolling her eyes at him.
"Well lets just say that they have made their feelings perfectly clear..."
"What by screaming your name in bed? That's not exactly a valid reason now is it? And it doesn't exactly require neurons. And you know Potter, being a male slut isn't exactly something to be particularly proud of."
"Well I tend to disagree with that." Sirius spat as he approached the front of the train with Remus and Peter.
"Well, you would, now wouldn't you Black?" Diana spoke out behind him with her arms folded. She and Nicole took their places next to Lily and scowled.
"Shut up Renton. Oh, and your skirt dear. I couldn't help but notice your cute little pink thong under it. It's sticking out you know." Sirius said, as he reached behind her and snapped it.
"Oh you'll pay for that one Black! What in the hell makes you think I would ever let you touch me? Back the fuck away, or suffer the consequences." She said, angry as all hell and clutching her wand.
"Oh, touchy aren't we. I bet you wanted me to see it, not that I would have been the first." he said.
"Dream on asshole." She casually remarked as she pushed her way off the train and onto the pavement. Lily and Nicole followed, each scowling at the boys. Nicole, however, smiled at Remus shyly. Everyone noticed, and respectfully rolled their eyes in disgust.
The boys stared at the girls as they were walking away. As Sirius walked out of the train, he turned to his friends. Peter, Remus and James were still staring.
"So, what do you think we should do to the bitches this year?" he casually said.
"I say we make them pay for what they did to us last year. In fact, why wait. Lets get them back for all of the sorting ceremonies they foiled for us." James smirked.
"Now?" Remus asked, confused. "That's in like half an hour. You'll never be able to come up with something that good in this short amount of time."
"Oh, I've already got it." James smirked.
"Oh do you now? Do tell." Sirius said while rubbing his hands together.
"Well Evans made a little comment to me earlier that sparked an idea in my head. One that will make her wish she never crossed paths with James Potter." James said.
"A little dramatic don't' you think Prongs?" Remus said.
"Shut up and let me finish. This year, the Marauders will take over the sorting ceremony."
"Oh you leave me out of this." Peter said. He always was a tad afraid of those girls.
"Don't worry about it Peter we can do it on our own. Unless..." Sirius said looking at Remus.
"What?" Remus answered, annoyed.
"Are you going to participate or are you just going to sit there and twiddle your thumbs the whole time?" James said.
"We don't even know what the prank is yet." He said. They glared at him. "But I guess I'll do it, whatever."
"So finish what you were saying there Prongs. What exactly did Evans say to you before?" Sirius asked.
"Well, she said that a mindless twit who screams my name in bed doesn't make me a man or some shit like that."
"Ugh, I hope to god she was exaggerating." Remus said. "It's not exactly a pleasant sound to hear when you sleep next door." He said, unfortunately remembering the fifth year sex phase that Sirius and James went through. He thought it just wasn't right.
"Oh shut up Moony. You're just upset it wasn't you." Sirius joked.
"Well not everyone can be like you Padfoot. Some men like nice girls who wont give it up on the first date." Remus answered.
"Hey those girls were nice. It was after us that they became the sex kittens they are now. We have taught them well." James said with pride.
"You guys, this conversation is making me a little uncomfortable." Peter chimed in.
"Don't' worry Wormtail, old boy. We'll find a nice, pretty girl to shag you." Sirius joked.
"Your disgusting." Remus said. "Anyway, how is that grounds for a prank. She was merely stating the obvious."
"Well I was just wondering what it might sound like for Renton and Evans to scream our names. That is, Sirius and me. They hate us the most so it's only fitting." James said.
"Well how are you going to do that? To make them do it you would need the Imperious Curse. You don't even know how to do that and you would go to Azkaban for the rest of your pitiful lives if you did." Remus reminded them as they were walking up the pathway to school. The girls were still a far length ahead of them.
"No, no cursing, just a little charm. In fact they don't even have to scream out our names. We can save that for the real thing. It would make revenge sweeter." James explained.
"You know." Peter started. "Don't you guys think you are taking this grudge thing a bit too far. Can you guys just be friends? You are actually thinking about taking advantage of them now. They would never even get that close to you."
"He's right. Evans and Renton would probably rather get sodomized by a Hippogriff and a banshee at the same time then ever come within five feet of you two with the intention of doing anything remotely sexual." Remus reminded them.
"What Renton is a slut, I think she would if I got her drunk enough." Sirius said laughing.
"I thought you said she was ugly." Remus said.
"Well that was before I saw that pretty, pink little thong. Don't get me wrong I still hate her with a passion, but now she's at least hot." Sirius answered.
"Do you ever think about anything else?" Peter asked.
"Rarely." James and Sirius said at the same time.
"So anyway, back to what I was saying." James said. "We'll put a bit of a charm on them. One that will make them feel incredibly good, in fact, a little too good."
"You're sick!" Remus yelled. He knew what he meant, and it disgusted him because Remus was such a good hearted gentlemen.
"Are you saying what I think you're saying Prongs?" Sirius said with a mischievous twinkle in his eye.
"Oh yeah." James smirked.
"I don't get it." Peter said, confused. James and Sirius just looked at each other and grinned, their dirty minds just swimming with ideas.
"Vibrating panties." They said, together because great minds think alike. Remus just rolled his eyes at his loser, sex crazed friends and continued to walk with them. Peter blushed uncontrollably while James and Sirius couldn't wait to get inside the school. They were practically skipping (yes, they skip occasionally) and couldn't wipe the stupid grin off their faces.
(And there's where I leave you. REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! I should probably change the rating because as you can see I have a dirty mind that has finally come out and there will be more blatant sex jokes in the future. YES, SEX WILL BE THE RECURRING THEME, I HAVE DECIDED. Now the girls have gotten themselves into quite a mess haven't they, he he. And yes I decided to make James and Sirius manwhores, its just more fun for me that way. Thanks to all the lovely people who actually got up off their asses and reviewed. I ma sorry to day that those who expected a nice sweet story will NOT get it, I am sorry. More bitch slapping, manwhoring, slutty ways ahead, with a little bit of the dark side to give the plot a twist. And don't forget to review me dammit! ~Your humble author, Angelxd14