Chapter 2
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, J.K. Rowling does.
A/N: ok, the song changed. I found a MUCH better song. It's called, If You're Not The One, by: Daniel Bedingfield. It's kinda popular, some of you may know it, some may not. It's a really sad song though.
When we finally arrived at the Leaky Cauldron, we left our things in the car and casually trotted into the Leaky Cauldron to the unsuspecting entrance to Diagon Alley. Dad took out his wand, tapped the third brick from the left above the trash bin, and we stepped back as the bricks folded aside forming the archway to Diagon Alley. We all walked through to a street with very few witches and wizards since it was so early in the morning.
My heart did some sort of flip as I easily spotted Hermione waiting with Harry down by Flourish and Blotts. A smile snuck onto my face at the sight of her. She was talking very fast and pointing to all sorts of books in the window and seemed very excited. Harry put up with her and rolled his eyes playfully when she wasn't looking. But then I saw something that made my heart plummet so fast it was like being on a roller coaster.
Harry and Hermione were holding hands.
If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
It you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call?
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all?
I walked gravely toward the couple but tried to look happy to see them. After all, it's not Hermione's fault. I didn't have the guts to tell her the day my eyes met hers. I've had my stupid crush on her for years and I didn't even tell her, and now…it's too late. I hope I still have a chance. I arrived at their spot and stood next to her.
I never know what the future brings
But I know you are here with me now
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
Hermione and Harry greeted me happily. Their words went right through me so I just smiled back. I stood rooted to the spot. I didn't want to run away, but I just didn't get it. Why Harry and not me? Everything in me tells me we're meant to be.
I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
(the song continues later)
Harry and Hermione were staring at me worriedly but I didn't notice. Finally Harry said, "Ron? Is there something wrong?" It was hard to talk to Harry but I said anyway, "Oh no. Nothing's wrong." I tried to say in a tone that sounded happy. I don't think it worked because after we bought all our supplies, while Harry was loading his things in the car with the rest of the stuff, Hermione pulled me aside and asked what was wrong.
I looked longingly into her deep chocolate eyes, sighed, and answered, "Hermione." I opened my mouth to say more but nothing came out. I swallowed hard and tried again. "Hermione. Are you and Harry…well, together?" "Yes. Is that ok?" "Not exactly." I decided it was time to make the confession. I took another deep breath and spilled everything.
"Ever since first year when I looked into your eyes, I've loved you. I've always had a crush on you and still do. And today, when I saw you with Harry, I was devastated. I hope…..I hope we might still have a chance." Then I said slowly, "If you could just love me back." Hermione looked at me with such pain as I had never seen before. "I'm so sorry Ron. But I don't like you that way. I love Harry, and I can't help it. I just do."
I wished someone would've just killed me right there because that would've been by far better than the words that just grabbed my heart and wrenched it out. I don't think anyone knows what it feels like to love someone, and have them not love you back. I tried to hold the tears back, but one got loose and coursed down my cheek.
"But--but why?" I managed to squeak through trembling lips. "I'm truly sorry Ron. But I can't pretend to love you because I just don't love you."
On the train ride to Hogwarts, I locked myself in my own compartment and stared blankly out of the window. Thinking my life had no meaning anymore. After that, everything seemed to fly by so fast: the carriage ride to the castle, the sorting, and the usually mouth watering feast where I sat at the opposite end of the table and touched not a crumb.
Before I knew it, it was time to go up to our dormitories. I went straight to bed, pulled the curtains securely around me, and silently let out the tears that had been welling up inside me.
If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?
As I cried my tears of denial, I thought to myself, 'I'm gonna give Hermione a piece of my mind.' I wiped my tears away and trotted down to the common room. There, on the chair in front of the fire, Hermione sat comfortably on a sleeping Harry's lap, buried in a book (as usual). I stomped courageously to Hermione and tapped her on the shoulder.
She looked up from her book and waited for me to say something. So I did, "I ask you again. Why? Why?! I promise I'll give you everything you want and need. I'll wait on you hand and foot if that's what it takes. I wanna be with you when you're sick. I wanna love you my entire life. I promise to be with you when you die. Please just reconsider." It was lucky that Harry was a heavy sleeper because I was now on my knees begging for her to love me.
I don't know why you're so far away
But I know that this much is true
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray that you're the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life
"Ron I'm not trying to hurt you, but you have to accept the truth. Stop denying it and try to understand that I don't love you."
I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
I froze where I was for a couple seconds, stood up without a word, and walked slowly back to my bed.
'Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
'Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right
And though I can't be with you tonight
And know my heart is by your side
I'm not sure how long I laid there in that state of depressing denial. But I knew that it would soon be over. This being my last comforting thought, I drifted into a much needed sleep.
I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I………
A/N: There's more to come, don't worry. And I'm not posting till I get 4 new reviews! So there. It's only fair! he he