Disclaimer: I own only those I have previously stated. I am so so sorry, life took over. Please understand. I still love you. Now lets get on with it.

About two weeks later……(although it feels like 6 months doesn't it :)

Love. What a wickedly pointless word. Love doesn't exist, just as hate doesn't exist. In fact, the two could be interchangeable depending on the speaker's intentions. It is just like the thin line between pleasure and pain. If I tore my skin or sliced my wrist with a knife, I could choose to enjoy it. It is that simple…

Diana had many revelations when she chose not to eat in the massive, destructive Great Hall, which, according to her, was anything but great. It was so congested with people she preferred the company of her own thoughts and insane rationalizations to the prattle that usually accompanied the disparaging appetites of others. She could go days without eating, or going to class for that matter. Her skin was so white that when the moon cast its glare on her face as she studied her beauty in the mirror, she was blinded. Her green eye shadow was just a mask of the pain and confusion that accompanied the attitude of her eyes. And she used to be such a simple faced girl.

Lily had gone down to stuff her face and pour her affections and smiles over the boy whom she loved. Diana just looked at him as the wealthy waste of space that de-virginized her best friend and tore her further from her eyes. Diana pretended not to care, as she was so marvellous at. Such was her curse of being human.

She smoked her fourth cigarette as she refused to move from her private space next to the window. She had lit a candle to keep as little light in the room as possible, and she was shivering from the frosty winds. It was where she repeatedly recalled her memory of that night the vacation before, where her life changed, and not for the better. It would be two weeks the next day, Saturday, and she felt numb to its importance.

Voldomort. What an imposing name, she thought. Although, given the way it is spelled the "t" should be silent, making it more foreign, and therefore, European. He frightened her, but that was what made it so exciting. It was so different, so sinister, and he had so much unknown power already. She loved power. A man who had power could have anything; command anything, give and take whatever he pleased. And he did. Lucius had power, and if not over her than he would when he was a man. To her he was a man, and as he constantly reminded, the most perfect one she would ever get.

You will believe in me, and I will never be ignored, she thought, remembering Lucius for the millionth time that evening. Did she ever think of anything else? The mere question unnerved her. You will steal for me, kill for me, love and adore me, wait and die for me, to be part of me, and close to me. And I will for you. Anything you want, anything you say, darling, love, partner in crime and all things vile and unholy. This must be love, she thought. It is equal parts rapture and pain.

(Flashback)

She woke up with the most painful headache she ever had that morning, after her life no longer was hers. Her temples throbbed as the blurriness of her vision became clearer. The ceilings were a stained glass menagerie of black, green, and red, in various shapes and animals, dragons mostly. Fire breathing outwards melding into the Malfoy family crest, planted right above her head on the ceiling. She blinked a few times and then groaned herself awake.

He was on top of her, with his silvery blonde hair tickling her skin, uncomfortably, right below her chest. When she tried to move he grunted awake. She pushed him off of her. Falling out of the bed, she grabbed the bedpost, tugging her hair and catching her bearings. Then she realized her head was not the only part of her body that was sore. She felt an unpleasant throbbing sensation between her legs and in her rear end. She had no clothes on and her skin was whiter than usual, accept for her pinkish bruise, the mark of his love.

She heard him toss and turn in bed, thrashing the covers to sit up strait. It only made her head hurt more.

"Will you please desist?" she whispered, letting go of the bedpost, slowly.

"What?" he asked, yawning and not listening. He leaned against the headboard.

She shook her head and attempted the ten feet walk to the bathroom, connected to his bedroom. She wobbled as she walked, concentrating on each step. Then, when she was just a few feet away her stomach began to rumble, and she had the worst aching feeling. It was a mixture of pain and nausea. She ran then and just made the toilet as she threw up all she had consumed the night before.

"What time is it?" he asked, after she had finished, with her head slumped over the bowl.

She tried, with effort to pick her head up. "I don't know," she said, in an aggravated, raspy voice. She slammed the door with her foot.

She laid there for a minute, counting to ten before propping herself up on the sink. She looked at her reflection in the mirror. She actually laughed at how terrible she looked, putting her hand over the bruise on her chest, by her heart. She put her hand then on her pale, but beautiful face. She looked into her dark eyes and did not recognize herself. Their once vivacious fire was reduced to nothingness, as they were empty and colourless. Perfect, indeed, she thought. She touched her reflection with her left hand, as if waiving goodbye to it, when she noticed the dark symbols that replaced her pure skin.

She shot back out of shock and shut her eyes. Then she let out a whimper before reopening them, to see what she knew she saw. A snake, stealthily wrapping around a skull, as if emerging from it. It was red on the outskirts of it, as it was newly burned. Her breathing became short as she took in sensibly what this meant. She felt afraid, and guilty. Then she remembered her little friends back at Potter's mansion. They weren't thinking of her at all, she thought, and was partly right. Then she thought of Lucius and Bellatrix, and the blur that was the night before.

She emerged from the bathroom with her headache gone, and with the energy that only a drug like anticipation could give her. She immediately spotted her undergarments on the floor and went lazily towards them to pick them up and put them on. He was already dressed, buttoning his perfectly pressed shirt, but leaving it untucked.

Clasping her bra, she studied him, head to toe. She watched his hands and how he dressed. She had never seen him do that before. He was always gone by morning, or she was. Her black panties were a crumpled mess at the foot of the bed, and she had to crouch to retrieve them.

"Did we have sex last night?" she asked, rather presumptuously, as she grabbed them.

He laughed at her, looking at himself in his full length mirror, turning to study all angles. "I'm offended, my belle," he said, straitening his posture and cuffing his sleeves.

She put her underwear up around her hips, and laughed too, but only at his obvious love for himself.

"I can tell only by the disarray of my clothing. Other than that—" she said, looking at the sheets and remembering the pain between her legs.

He turned away from the mirror to address her directly. "You mean, you really don't remember? Well, I was fantastic, if I do say so myself."

She walked up to him, slinking slightly, like a serpent, and embraced him from behind. Then she slid her hand lower and felt him. "And what about me?" she said, whispering into his ear.

"You, love, are my muse." He said, turning to her. He kissed her twice, on the cheek and then the lips. "And those little noises you make, or shall I say loud ones. You drive me mad."

"Good," she said. She paused, and kissed him too, thinking about what she was about to say. "You love me right? I mean, really love me. This isn't just about you, is it? You love me. You have to now," she said, taking his left arm and rubbing his identical tattoo. "I want no pain with you. Promise me. Seriously."

He just smiled, and kissed her forehead, looking not in her eyes but the nape of her neck. "Get dressed," he said, breaking free of her. Then he took her left arm and brought it to his mouth, kissing it. "You will not have pain so long as you stay with me. I am inside you, and will be until you die. I am in your blood, and your soul. I am the voice in your head. But I will tell you this. So long as you are a part of this, you are a part of me, and you are bound to this forever."

And in that matter, the conversation was over. The issue was decided.

(End of Flashback)

"Di?" she heard, and simply turned her head towards the door. In truth she was scared to death, but did not show it. Her memory was unwelcome but she was annoyed at being interrupted nonetheless.

Diana cleared her throat before speaking. "Why aren't you downstairs with the others, Nicole?"

"I'm worried about you," she said meekly, entering the room. Diana leaned up and put her hand up to stop her.

"I did not say you could come in here," she said, in a deeper, raspier voice.

"Can you please hear me out? I come on behalf of all of us."

"Behalf? Meaning who?" Diana chuckled. Then she glared at Nicole from head to toe. "Oh, Nic, I think it's time you start wearing baggier clothes. You're plumping out, my dear."

Nicole quickly put her hand over her stomach out of shame, but continued. "This isn't fair. We did nothing to you."

"Save the sob story for Dumbledore when he asks you why you're a cow in a few months. I stopped listening."

"Can I please come in?" Nicole said, whispering loudly. "You're not exactly a low talker."

"If you must. As long as you don't cry or make me feel guilty about believing in abortion," Diana said.

"Be quiet!" she said, and dragged herself in Diana and Lily's dorm.

"Alright," Diana said. "Put in your two pence and then get out."

Nicole inched close to her friend of many years and crouched on the floor, as if in prayer. "You've changed. Ever—ever since that day, a couple of weeks ago. Diana, honey, please talk to me. Tell me what's happened to you," she begged. She tried taking Diana's left hand but she jerked it back, pulling her sleeves down.

"There's nothing to tell. You all stopped caring………..so did I." She said this with iciness behind her voice. It was higher pitched and devoid of feeling.

"You are frightful."

"I am honest."

"So, what? Are you just now going to formally convert yourself to the Slytherins? Are you going to abandon the only people who care about you?" Nicole said, hoping none of it was true.

"You want advice don't you?" Diana said, shaking her head. "You still have no idea what the bloody fuck to do and I'm the only one who knows. Isn't that right?"

"Pardon—"

"That's it, isn't it? I didn't judge you. I won't call you names, but you're still pregnant and Remus is still the father, and it still will be the scandal of the year if something isn't done. Well you know what, my pretty, I can't do shit about it, and neither can you, so either suck it up and accept the fact that you will be called a whore, or be a murderess and contain your self respect. Either way, get the fuck out of my room, you snivelling little fool!"

Nicole got up with some effort and stood strait. "That is a wicked thing to say!" she said, incredibly hurt.

"What the fuck do I care? Don't cry at my funeral then," she said, as Nicole scurried out to bury her tears elsewhere. "That's a wicked thing to say," Diana mimicked to herself, in a whiny voice. "Little brat…"

"I see the ice queen of isolation is awake," Diana heard, and groaned aloud. Sirius stood there, in all of his handsome glory, peering at her, judging her, with his strong arms crossed and his black hair scruffily hanging around his face. "Tell me, if you choose your seclusion, why do you insist on leaving your door open?"

"I didn't plan on staying up here, Black," she said. "I forgot something and was too lazy to leave again."

"What'd you forget?" Sirius asked, and noticed her candle had blown out from the wind.

"Forget it," she said, and tossed out her cigarette, only to light another one. "Well, since you're here, got a light? You may be useful to me yet."

"You're shivering," he said, walking into the room. Neither of them had forgotten the night they last spoke, but this was not the right time or place for such juvenile nonsense.

"It's nothing," she said, in a kinder voice. "I think they turned off the heat."

"It's April," he said, pulling over an ottoman to be closer to her.

"Oh yes," she said. "I'm a little weak on my feet today. I haven't been outside," she coughed. "Would you light my candle? It's out." she asked, and noticed him looking at her oddly. "What are you staring at?" she said, rudely.

"Nothing. Your hair in the moonlight. You just look familiar to me," he said, lighting her cigarette. Diana began to feel fatigued. She was not sure if it was he or the scarce amount of food she had consumed that day. He noticed her teeter and sway a little, and then regain her balance. "Can you make it?" he chuckled.

She glared. "I just haven't eaten much today," she said, putting her hand on her chest. She smiled. "At least the room stopped spinning anyway…what?" she said, when his eyes had not moved.

"Forget it. Your smile reminded me—"

"I tend to remind people often. Who?" she asked, pulling her hair back in a knot. "Is it a she?"

"No one, a girl I used to know," he said brushing her off. "She died."

"It's out again," Diana said, looking at her candle. "Sorry about your friend," she said, with half as much energy. She sighed. "Light it again,"

He took out his matches again and stroked it against the package, making it ignite instantly. She shivered again. "Well," he said, as the flame took to the wick.

"Yeah," she said, touching the candle, and then felt the wax touch her fingers. "Ow!" she said, and shot her hand back.

"The wax," he said, taking out a tissue. "It's—"

"Dripping," she said. "I like it between my—"

"Fingers, I figured," he said, laughing. "You would."

"No," she said, smiling. "Thighs," she said, but started laughing when her serious face was no longer believable.

"Oh well," he said. "Maybe I should go."

"Don't!" she said, more urgently then she meant to. "I mean, um, can you help me look for something?" Why do I want him to stay, she thought?

"What?"

"Uh, um, " she said, trying to remember why she wanted him to stick around so badly. "I dropped something, over there, when I came in. Look for it."

"Came in? From where?" he asked, not convinced at all.

She got up and tried to look for the thing she never dropped, and crouched down on the floor. It was then she noticed him stare at her again, and she got up instantly.

"You know, they say that I have the best ass in our whole year," she said, turning towards him. "Is it true?"

"What—"

"You were staring again. And since you got the view first hand, I wanted to know your thoughts."

"Uh, well, I mean you do, have a nice—I mean—"

"Forget it, Black," she said, sitting back down. She almost felt childish, and too feminine for her own skin.

"Your candle's out," he said, nodding towards her door. "And I ran out of matches."

"Our eyes will adjust," she said, grabbing a blanket from her bed. "Thank God for the moon," she said, looking outside.

"Maybe it's not the moon at all. I hear the Astronomy fourth years are doing a project on lunar duplication spells, as if that will be any use to them at all."

"Aw, what a shame," she said, sitting down again. "It was almost too beautiful to be genuine."

"That's how I feel about you sometimes," he said. "I don't know who you are anymore."

"Don't you?"

"No. Well, maybe I never did," he said shrugging.

"Black, I will tell you one thing. Out of all the annoying little cockroaches here, you are the one who makes me laugh the most. Did you know that?"

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. And about who I am……all bullshit aside….all you need know is that I am the girl who killed herself for love. You can't be sad about losing someone who was never there…..And I'm sorry, for us. We could have really had something. I did not mean to lead you on like I did. But I would like it if we remained friends. I do, sort of, consider you my counterpart. You compliment me very well, even sexually I feel," she said, crossing her legs.

"I'm not sure I know what that means. We've never-"

"No, dear. We've never. Had the circumstances been reversed I think….well, you are very handsome. And you know that," she said with a smirk. Then she reclined. "Maybe, one day. After I'm….tired…..yes, tired of all this."

"Hmm, I see. Goodnight Renton," he said, just as coldly.

"Wait. Black don't leave," she whined.

"I'm not going to sit here and wait for you to get 'tired.'"

"Don't leave me. Who am I going to talk to?"

"Why don't you try your precious boyfriend? Or is he not the conversational type? I don't deserve this," he said, getting up and waving her away.

"I didn't mean it like that," she said. She got up after him. "I just…..can't."

"Why? You're not married, or are you?" he said, half joking.

"Heavens no," she said, as he opened the door. "I wish I could tell you."

"Tell me what?" he said, banging the edge of the doorframe with his palm.

"I'm sorry." She sounded sincere enough, and she did mean it, in her own way.

"So am I," he said, and walked out, making sure to slam the door behind him.

"Fuck," she whispered, as she was, once again, left alone.

(Flashback II)

James was all the way on the other side of the bed when Lily opened her eyes. She was in his room, at least that was what it looked like. The covers were up to her waist only, and when she realized she was exposed, she pulled them up to her chin.

She woke up quickly and jumped out of the bed, taking the sheets with her. He still did not move. She scurried over to the couch and plopped on it with a jittery sort of energy. She remembered last night well, and it was blissful, amazing, everything she dreamt of. It was everything she thought would never happen. But it did happen.

Could it be she felt afraid? What if she were not good? Would he be upset with her? She did not know what to think. She had never been in this sort of situation before. He said he loved her. Did she catch that? Did I say it too, she wondered? Indeed, she had.

What if he didn't mean it, she feared? What if it was just the common thing he said after shagging? She didn't want to think about that. But, he was so kind, so loving, it seemed. It felt like he meant it. She definitely meant it.

I am to young to be in love, she thought. Oh, but how marvellous he felt next to her! How utterly gentle and considerate in his love to her. Uh, she was speechless. Not that she had been talking before, she thought. It was sweet, she thought. Incredibly cheesy, but every word was true. How many young women can say that about their boyfriends?

(End of flashback)

"So is she not coming down then?" Lily asked, as Nicole silently plopped next to her, rather far away from Remus.

"Would it be a terrible thing?" she muttered.

"Ah," Lily said, and took a bite of her food.

"Hey, has anyone seen Kat?" James asked, looking about the Great Hall. "Peter?"

"Haven't seen 'er," he said, looking at his plate.

Just then Lily looked to the Hufflepuff table and saw Kat acting a tad flirtatious with Amos Diggory. Even more scandalous than that was the fact that her hand had somehow found its way to his nether regions. Lily gasped aloud, but then pretended she was choking on a piece of food. She cleared her throat, smiled, and continued to eat in her usual manner.

She nudged James slightly in the ribs and cocked her head in an ever so secretive manner. He saw, widened his eyes, and looked at Peter. "So mate, um, are you and Kat doing alright?"

Peter looked at him with confusion. "Why? Do you know anything?"

"What? How would you conceive that?" James said, acting badly and annunciating too much.

"He's just making conversation. Aren't you?" she said, pinching his leg.

"Sure. Sure. Just talking mate. Just talking….."

"She," Peter started, and began shaking his head. "She….."

"What is it?" Remus chimed in, with a mouth full of food.

"Nothing," Peter said.

"No, honey, you can tell us. We're your friends," Nicole said, with a smile too pretty to be fake.

Peter sighed. "She doesn't want to…..um……be with me." Thinking about this quite deeply, an uncomfortable silence followed the vague statement.

"Meaning?" James said, taking a sip of his drink.

"I don't know," Peter whimpered. "She just said that even though I'm nice, she could not imagine herself, well, with me."

"You mean, fucking?" James said, with only a hint of sympathy.

"James!" Lily and Nicole said simultaneously. Lily then pinched James for a second time.

"Ow! Will you stop that?" he whined.

"Oh Peter," Nicole said, sympathetically. "I'm sorry, dear."

"I don't understand. I thought she liked me."

"She does, dear. Maybe, you two just aren't right for each other now. Who knows, in the future she may see the loving, adorable little butterball you are," Lily said.

"But….I love her," Peter said, and at that point, started crying.

Nicole put her hand on her heart out of pity, while James tried his best to hold in his laughter. Remus glared at him and put a hand on Peter's shoulder.

"It's alright, mate. She was a tart anyway," Remus said.

"She was not," Nicole said, and narrowed her eyes. "She was just, not ready."

James snorted.

"Well, have you two ever felt that? I mean, has a girl ever been, not ready with you two?" Nicole said. Peter looked up hopefully at James, who stared at the ground.

"Uh…..no mate, sorry," he said. "But I'm sure loads of girls are like that."

"Maybe you're right. At least there isn't anybody else. If there was, I'd kill 'em," he said, and clenched his chubby fists.

"Um, Peter, don't you think that's a little rash?" Lily said.

"She's just a chick mate," James said. "They're never worth it." Then he looked at Lily, who had a suspicious glare in her eyes.

"Which infers?" she said, crossing her arms.

"Well, except you, babe," he said, and touched her shoulder.

Sirius then returned to the table, and shoved Peter out of the way, his melancholic state of no importance.

"You stink of cigarettes," Lily mumbled, and glared at him. "You know we're not supposed to smoke in school."

"What are you, the new headmistress?" he growled.

"Oh, touchy, touchy. Did her majesty not welcome you with open arms?" she said, clenching her teeth on her fork, creating a shrill, squeaking sound.

"Or open legs?" James muttered.

"You know, she is in a relationship, Sirius," Nicole said. "Not everything is about you," she snarled. "And furthermore, you should all be out of everyone's business. Catty, catty, catty, that's all we are. I think you should stop pining over the impossible," she said, pointing her fork at Sirius, "you should stop being so insensitive," she said to James, "and you Peter, lighten up! She doesn't love you. Deal with it, for fuck's sake. People have worse problems."

"Babe, are you alright?" Remus said.

"Perfect," she replied, sarcastically.

"Someone's got PMS," Lily chuckled.

"I wish," Nicole whispered, whereupon Lily looked at her twice, and with the utmost seriousness that made her shiver inside.

Diana jumped when she heard an unnerving noise outside of her bedroom window. She got up off her bed and went to it cautiously. She heard a tapping and realized, with relief, that it was a tiny pebble.

She smiled and opened it, only to find Lucius and Bellatrix at the bottom. She waved unsurely, and stuck her head out so that her stomach only supported her.

"Baby doll!" Lucius yelled, and waved.

"What…what are you doing here?" Diana laughed.

"Come down, little girl," Bellatrix screeched. "We've got places to go."

"Where?"

"Just come down darling. You can wear this," Lucius said, holding up black robes.

Diana noticed they were dressed in the very same robes, with hoods, and had their wands in their hands. "I don't know. Lily will be coming up soon," she said.

"Oh, who cares?" Bellatrix said. "Would you rather be stuck in your room studying useless drivel with boring little brats, or out having fun with us?"

Diana hesitated. "Where are we going?"

"Come down and we'll show you," Lucius said.

"How will I get down?" she said.

"Cushioning spell, dearie," Bellatrix said. "We're going to be late if we don't leave now."

"Late?"

"Come, my love. We have a meeting. A very important meeting," Lucius said.

"Meeting?" she said, and suddenly grew nervous.

"Just think of it as your formal initiation," Bellatrix said, smiling. The Dark Lord would like to meet you, without any hallucinogens in your system," Bellatrix said, laughing like a hyena.

"Hurry, darling. He does not like to be kept waiting."

And with a glance behind her and a leg over the sill, she fell to her fate, the chapter of her madness up to now, was only the prologue.

(Sorry if I bored you, but I needed transition. technically this is part 2 of part 1. complex, isnt it? Next chapter: what will Nicole do about her pregnancy? What will Kat say to Peter to change him? How will the girls discover the Animagas transformations? Just how crazy can Diana get?)

I promise…in a week, one week you will have it. Thank you for your loyalty. I really do appreciate every single one of you.