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Chapter 11
Friendship
Legolas carefully scanned the surroundings while the fellowship traveled in the boat the elves of Lotlórien had given them. At the same time he was talking to Gimli with whom he was sharing it. They talked about the gifts they had been given, and the dwarf told him he had asked for a strand of Galadriel´s hair. Legolas could only smile at that remark.
Then he looked at the boat where Aragorn sat. They had not had one single moment alone since they had left Lotlórien, no time to talk, much less to touch. In a way it made it easier, for both of them, since they did not have to concentrate on to not reveal too much for the others. Aragorn had slept peacefully since the departure from the wood, so the elf had got rid of the pain in his head and the bleeding, at least for a while. It was a greater relief than he wished to admit to himself, although he longed to be alone with Aragorn, at least for a short while. This wish was stronger than anything else, more important than any pain and forthcoming agony. He had asked Galadriel for help, even though he knew there was none.
"I would do anything, but what happens to you is beyond my power. I can only make it easier for you to bear with the ache, but heal you I can´t –and you know that when you made your choice."
And as he sat here now, in this moment, he felt stronger, knowing that at least part of it were her doing.
Aragorn, on his behalf, also yearned for the elf. Right now their embraces in Lotlórien felt more or less surreal, like they all had been some wonderful dreams that happened in another world. Not being able to be near Legolas had made him remember Arwen, who had almost completely been wiped from his memory, while they remained in the wood. He felt bad about being unfaithful to her, but still he could not regret anything that had happened between him and the archer. He loved her, but it was nothing compared to his feelings for the Mirkwood prince. Feelings that sometimes threatened to consume his entire being. Never had he felt such joy, such exquisite pleasure as in the elf´s arms. It eased the burden of his destiny; it made him stronger and it helped to concentrate on the task that lay ahead them.
As he looked over to Legolas´ boat he met the midnight blue gaze of the elf, and realized that he was watching him as well. Their gazes locked for an instant, speaking about devotion and love. Looking into those beautiful elven eyes made the man believe himself to manage any effort to come. The elf apparently knew what he was thinking, smiling as he turned his attention to something the dwarf said.
".....I saw you two one time, in Lotlórien. I don´t quite understand, but I don´t mind."
Legolas flinched at Gimli´s words. The dwarf seemed embarrassed, and kept his back turned at the elf.
"What did you say?" he asked, though he had heard perfectly well. "Well, I was not spying or something, I just couldn´t sleep one night, so I went for a walk and then I saw you and Aragorn by the waterfall...."his voice trailed off.
When the elf did not answer, the dwarf continued:
"It´s none of my business, I just wanted you to know. It seems fairer. And I won´t tell the others even though I know that they wonder about you and Aragorn and your strange "friendship"...that is not mere friendship ...have you been lovers for a long time?" Then he continued:
"I am sorry , I am in no position to ask that question, please bear with my rudeness."
He still had his back turned against Legolas, but the elf knew that the dwarf was blushing.
"No offense taken, my friend. We were not lovers before we came to Lotlórien."
Gimli turned around, to look at the archer.
"Strange are the ways of the elves. Would his lady not mind at all?"
A brief flicker of anguish and guilt showed on the elf´s perfect features. He lowered his gaze.
"She would mind" he said so low that the dwarf almost did not hear. "She would."
The ranger stopped dead in his tracks.
"He did? Neither you nor I heard anything."
Legolas laid a hand on the man´s shoulder.
"He informed me that he didn´t mind, though he was apparently confused. Dallying with your own gender is not common among the dwarves either, if it happens at all ".
Aragorn turned around, grabbing the elf by the waist, drawing him so close their lips almost met.
"We are not dallying! This is something much more!! "he growled before he kissed the archer with a fervent intensity. Legolas leaned in to the kiss, opening his mouth, meeting the tongue of the man with a sudden bolt of desire running through him.
'Oh, but we are' he thought. 'We must be'.
"I missed you so much" the man breathed. "It has been torture not being able to hold you".
He could not help but smile.
"Aragorn" he said "how many days have passed since we left Lotlórien? And we did not sleep at all the last night."
"It matters not. It´s you who make this trip endurable" the ranger said in a voice thick with need. He began to tear at the elf´s clothes.
"We don´t have much time" the archer said, grabbing the man by the wrists." We must scout as well..." he kneeled down and started to undo the man´s breeches "we can´t get completely lost in this, right now."
Then he quickly swallowed the man´s throbbing flesh. Aragorn moaned and tangled his hands in the elf´s hair, totally helpless under the skillful operations. Unable to stand by himself, he leaned against a tree.
"I almost get jealous when I dwell about where you may have acquired that talent "he said afterwards, after he had gained enough composure to speak.
Much to the man´s surprise Legolas laughed, despite the pain in the back of his head.
"Do you want to discuss just for how many years I have lived? And how I have spent them-besides my practicing my skill at war?"
Aragorn shrugged.
"Never mind" he said. "Now it is your turn."
"It is not necessary...."
"Oh, yes, it is."
About how the quest proceeded, how Boromir got entranced by the ring and tried to take it from Frodo which eventually led to his death, how Merry and Pippon were taken by the uruk-hai ,how Frodo and Sam set off to Mordor has all been told by a much more clever hand than mine. Then you also know that Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli chose to pursue the creatures, intent on saving Merry and Pippin, right after they had given Boromir a proper farewell. This was the breaking of the fellowship.
After three days of constant running the dwarf have had enough and insisted that they should rest for the night. Aragorn was reluctant at first, but when both Gimli and Legolas insisted, he gave up, feeling somewhat relieved despite everything. They found a nearby stream where they set camp, drank and ate some lembas, all three of them grim and silent.
The dark was soon upon them. Legolas took the first watch, finding this most suitable, seeing how worn out his two companions was. He noticed a slightly disappointed look on the ranger´s face at this arrangement. He could not help giving him a smug smile, but inside him he was worried, the man´s affection for him was apparently much too deep to be wholesome. Continuing like this, there was likely to be a disaster in the end and, as if it was not enough the elf knew that he was not able to resist him, any time at all.
"I think you love me just a little too much, my human" he said to himself, right out in the open air. "As I love you, you will be the death of me after all".
He sighed and looked over to the place where Gimli and Aragorn laid sleeping peacefully, despite the circumstances. This clearly proved how tired they really were, and how much they trusted him. He was tired also, at least by elven standards, but Gimli had promised him that he would take over the watch the last hours before dawn. The elf relaxed, scanning the surroundings and listened to the sounds of the earth around them.
A couple of hours before dawn he felt a gentle tap on his shoulder. It was the dwarf that ordered him to get his rest.
Legolas nodded, rose and went over to the sleeping form of Aragorn, where he soon laid down, right beside him. He resisted the urge to touch him, not wishing to disturb his slumber, which, for once, was peaceful. It did not take long, although, before the man drew him close, wrapping his arms around him, not saying a word. The elf smiled, the human was obviously still asleep, but had reacted to his presence anyway.
Legolas let his mind wander, thinking of his home, Mirkwood, without all the horrors that dwelled there. Soon he was asleep in the elven way.
Just before dawn he was wakened by the ranger´s urgent kiss.
"What's wrong, laddie? Are you hurt?"
The dwarf´s concerned words startled the elf, who was washing away the blood, that, as usual, was steaming from his nose when he woke. He blinked, trying to focus on an answer, despite the pain in the back of his head.
"Not exactly" he said, trying to sound calm, but could not hold back a small tremble in his voice. He did not look at Gimli.
"Not exactly? What's that supposed to mean? You´re bleeding! "the dwarf persisted.
"It will soon stop. Please, leave me alone, and don´t worry, I will be fine."
"I´m not leaving before you tell me what´s going on".
Legolas sighed. He had heard about the stubbornness of the dwarves and had already found out that Gimli indeed did the expression justice. The elf raised himself slowly, still trying to block the out pain, in which he only succeeded partly.
"Well, then..." he said. "I don´t know how to explain this to you, since I am not completely sure myself. This happens to me when ..uhm.. after I´ve been with Aragorn. It is connected with the healing abilities I have inherited from my mother."
"What exactly is it that's happening? "Gimli asked, somewhat confused by the elf´s incoherent explanation.
"I feel a searing pain in my head after I have changed Aragorn´s nightmares. Lately it has become worse and I have started to bleed from my nose. What is strange though is, that as soon as the pain has passed, I feel fine with no symptoms left, no lingering weakness or anything else" he tried to sound confident, but, considering the look on the dwarf´s face he realized that he was not doing very well.
"It sounds serious nonetheless, bleeding from your nose, like you´re ill ,considering you are an elf- and they are not likely to catch any diseases."
"I´m not ill, you can be sure of that".
"Then, what do you mean you are..." the dwarf´s eyes narrowed slightly. "Or what do you say...are you dying?" There was no jest in his voice, just genuine care.
The elf bowed his head and did not meet his eyes, stunned at how insightful his fellowship companion was.
"I don´t know, Gimli. I honestly don´t know."
"But it is a possibility! You are very strange; I have no words for it, actually. Is there nothing anyone can do?"
"I doubt it, at least not in Middle-Earth. Galadriel told me so, a long time ago. No one can tell for sure what will happen, or if there is a cure for this ...condition."
"Does Aragorn know this? He is the cause, after all."
"He is not! I have chosen this all by myself, to help him endure this quest, to make him stronger."
"While it destroys you. Aragorn would never allow this, so apparently he doesn't know. What will happen when he finds out, do you think?"
"He must not know!" The elf´s words sounded almost like a plea, and Gimli could see what resembled desperation in his eyes. "Don´t you tell him, don´t you dare!"
The dwarf stared at him with disbelief.
"But I really think that he has the right to know what you sacrifice for him. He would hate you, should he find out anyway, somehow, are you aware of that?!"
Legolas closed his eyes for a moment.
"That is a risk I have to take" he whispered. Then he looked at Gimli again. "Respect my choice, friend. I appreciate your concern, but please do not interfere in this."
"Just as long as you don´t push things to far" the dwarf said. "Both you and Aragorn are my companions, you know."
With those words he trotted back to the camp, leaving Legolas alone with his thoughts.
"Yes, Gimli "he said, somewhat surprised. "You are my friend."
TBC.
(I have some problems with the ratings, so please help: should I change it to R? Lilimalinda)