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Thanks for the reviews( except one).
Legolas19: Finally, an update...
Kiki. And darker yet...
Tmelange: Eowyn will have to.
Bradleigh: A tragedy, well, youll see..
Forsakenon3: I´m so happy you liked this chapter as well, looking forward to your next review.
Legoviel: You brighten my day, as always. I would run as well, anyway, that scene was inspired by a photomanip I saw of AL and Eowyn on another site. By the way, I like your penname. Hope to hear from you soon.
Nímin: My dear friend, I love your reviews ....well, I am cruel sometimes, but trust me on this account: I love Legolas..Am so happy you like my Gimli, I have always found him to be a great companion. Here´s the next chapter, for you ...Lol. Lilimalinda
Stefen: Thank you, tank you, wonderful to know that you like it, hope you will continue to do so.
Goldensong: Thank for your kind comments, I am especially satisfied that you like the plot. Here´s the update.
Zara:Sorry , that you took you time to deliver this unnecessary information, I won´t comment it further. By the way, I have seen to many moons to be called a young girl. I won´t say anything more on this matter, nor will I change anything in my concept of the sexscenes
A/N: I´m feeling blocked at the moment, I´m not sure how to go on from here, but I´m hoping I will be able to update at the end of next week. On request from some of my friends Im currently rewriting this story for a NC- 17-rating for another site, I also have another idea that just won´t leave my head.
Chapter 14
Revelations
Gandalf was troubled. Eowyn was not the only one that had seen Aragorn and Legolas together the night before. In the wizard´s case, it had happened by sheer coincidence; he had been looking for the man and had gone out on the balcony where he had seen the man and the elf intertwined, in a way that could not be mistaken. He had suspected that their relation ran deeper than friendship, but having this revealed still worried him, since he could see the complications that it undoubtedly would bring. He did not doubt these two loved each other, but that just made it worse. However, the major problem was not the affair, that he didn´t regard as his business at all, it could even be prove to be an advantage, at least on Aragorn´s account. And that was, he stated, his greatest concern in this matter; the effect this relationship had on Legolas.
He slowly approached the elf who was sitting on a bench, golden hair blowing in the wind, his legs drawn up to his chest, his arms around them, seemingly scanning the surroundings, but the wizard suspected that he was deep in thought...and pain? Gandalf sighed, this was not going to be easy, and he knew the pride of the elves so well.
Legolas lifted his gaze when Gandalf approached him. He was paler than usual, which proved to the wizard his assumption was right. He made an avoiding gesture when the elf made a move to rise and greet him in the formal way.
"Never mind, Legolas" he said, "remain seated, I can see that you are pained."
The archer cast him a thoughtful glance.
"Did you wish to talk to me, Mitrandir?" he asked.
The wizard nodded.
"Is it about me and Aragorn? I guess that you know about us, I have seen it in your eyes when you look upon us together."
Before giving his answer, Gandalf sat down beside him.
"I know about it, it´s hard not to see it if one knows you, that´s true, none of you haven´t bothered to be overly discreet about it, either. It is, however, nothing that I should stick my nose into. I want to talk about you."
"Me?" Legolas asked, surprised. He had not expected this.
"Yes. You are in pain and you are fading".
The elf turned away his eyes.
"I´m not fading" he said, his voice barely more than a whisper. "This is something different-or as I have begun to realize lately-something more drastic".
"Yes, it brings you down, -and fast at that, though I suppose your physical strength remains intact. Your mind- healing powers must be much stronger than I had suspected."
"My healing powers...I don´t know much about them, really, I haven´t been able to explore them; although using them always have given me this pain. It´s just that lately it has been getting worse."
"You mean you are bleeding?"
When the wizard saw the astonished look on Legolas´ face, he continued:
"I know some about the special healing powers of the vanyar, they were developed in Valinor and never meant for Middle-Earth-that´s why using them means so much suffering for you. That´s why you damage yourself, you hurt yourself just as much you heal the one you chosen to help. Anyway, if you´re also bleeding already, well, that proves how great your abilities really are."
The elf nodded.
"I guess that proves my suspicions, then. It´s just that it not only happens when I try to heal Aragorn., it also occurs when... we have been intimate."
Gandalf raised an eyebrow.
"It does? That's probably because you never have learned how to control it. And it certainly also shows how badly injured you are. Your strength is remarkable, my friend, I wish I could help you, not only for your own sake, but also for Aragorn´s."
Legolas closed his eyes.
"When this is over, should we not fail, we will have to go separate ways; nothing will remain here for me. Aragorn will marry Arwen, as it must be, for the future of Middle-Earth. The elves are leaving, but Arwen will stay, she has forsaken her immortality."
"Your sacrifice is none lesser than hers, Legolas."
"What advice do you give then, Mitrandir?"
"To be honest, I am at a loss for this, but I had to talk to you since I have a foreboding that, in the end you are the one that can keep the darkness from Aragorn´s heart, being the strongest light for him."
"There is no darkness in him!"
"No, not at this moment, but if he should face the possibility of losing you, of you dying, then maybe dark powers could take a hold of his heart. Are you even aware, despite your wisdom, how much he really loves you? Do you understand how much your love means to him? It is you above everything that is making him a king!"
Legolas just shook his head, this conversation reminding him all too much of the one he had had with Galadriel in Lotlórien, for what seemed like an eternity before, in another life.
"Do you think we could ever be accepted in the world of men, even if things were different?"
"I know no answer to that question, just let your love exist and be aware of the dangers, love always resides near despair-and you are sacrificing yourself for someone who does not want anything more than to live with you."
"Do not say it."
"Yet it is the truth, and you are the best one to understand it since you feel the same. That's why you offer your life. Dwell on my words and be strong, you have all my support."
With this last statement the wizard turned and walked away. The elf felt his spirit lifted somewhat, even though he was not sure just what the true meaning of Gandalf´s words were.
A short time later he heard someone approach once again and when he turned he saw his lover walk towards him. He rose quickly, smiling. The man smiled back, soon noticing the elf´s mood was lighter, which pleased him much.
"We must get going" he said softly, gently touching the archer´s hand.
Legolas nodded.
Legolas had told Aragorn in the morning when the man woke about Eowyn spying on them, but none of them had done anything about it afterwards.
"Did you think she found what she was looking for?" Aragorn had asked him.
"Yes, but certainly not what she wished for" the elf had answered. After that they had not talked about the subject any further, but both of them had found the maiden of Rohan staring at them from time to time, a look of bewilderment, but also guilt, on her face.
The first and only time she ever mentioned it all was when Aragorn told her she loved a dream.
"And you "she burst out before she could stop herself, "who sleep with your elven, male companion."
His face betrayed no emotion, just a brief flicker of sadness in his eyes passing so fast, she afterwards wondered whether she had imagined it or not.
"I would have thought you would have found it unbecoming admit you were sneaking upon us, but apparently not. But then again, we have something in common you and I, after all" his voice compassionate rather than bitter.
"What do you mean?" she said, fighting back the tears that were threatening to fall.
"We both want someone we really can´t have". Then he turned and went off, leading his horse as he headed for the Path of the Dead. Eowyn stared after him, slightly shocked, not until now did she realize the fact that Aragorn truly loved the archer, but when she thought about it now, it was obvious.
Gimli and Legolas had insisted on following him. He had protested first, but not very heartfelt, since their nearness made the perilous trip almost endurable. He knew that by making this journey to defeat the armies of Mordor, he was accepting his fate as the future king. That is, if they did succeed, their odds were more than bad, to say the least.
He looked at his two companions, riding together on the same horse beside him. He was satisfied with the elf´s and the dwarf´s growing friendship, although still a bit surprised. His glance locked at the archer, at his golden hair blowing in the wind, in these crude surroundings he seemed almost like a being from another world, his ethereal appearance so unreal. He was worried for the elf as well, Legolas was suffering, refusing to share his burden, even trying to hide it, but the man remembered all too well when the archer´s eyes had been full of laughter and song. Now, there still was love, but more so of pain. Legolas was obviously unaware of how much Aragorn actually had figured out about his torment. The human had not mentioned it solely because he wished that the elf would confide in him eventually. He was, however, not surprised that Legolas had not done so, that only confirmed his worst suspicions.
(Some hours later)
They were setting camp for the night, they would reach their goal early tomorrow, but none of them wished to travel during nighttime. Gimli looked at the human and the elf, they did not spoke much to each other, at least not with words, but they showed each other a care and concern that was touching in some odd way. Their hands would meet, as out of coincidence, their eyes would linger at each other, they way they were checking out on each other...
The dwarf sighed.
"Well, I understand" he said so abruptly that both the others startled stopped what they were doing and turned their gazes to him. "I will keep watch over there, leaving you two alone, it´s evident that you need this".
Both Aragorn and Legolas protested, but Gimli just winked them off.
"It´s fine with me" he said, "to be honest it would feel good to be alone for a while."
Before any of them have had any chance to say anything further, he went away in the surrounding bushes, muttering to himself.
"Poor Gimli" Legolas said." I hope he´s not feeling like the fifth wheel all too much."
Aragorn, who was sitting on a stone, holding his sword, could not hold back a laugh.
"You know" he said, "the way you always joking and talking make me almost feel like said wheel. Anyway, I´m happy that you seem get along so well, that he makes you smile; you rarely do that nowadays, my beloved".
"These are hard times, my hope, the darkness is all too near us all" the elf answered, an impenetrable expression on his face. Then he turned to gaze away in the distance.
Then man hesitated a moment before his next words:
"When were you planning to tell me, Legolas?"
The archer whimpered his whole body tensing. It took a long time before he replied, and when he eventually did, his voice was almost too low to hear:
"I was hoping I not would have to." Then he went over to the human so fast he did not see him moving. He leaned down beside him, still not meeting his gaze: "Just exactly how much have you figured out?"
Aragorn caught a strand of golden hair that was blowing in the wind and began running his fingers along it.
"I´m not sure" he said. "I know that you are in pain sometimes, that you are bleeding and that´s why I´m never allowed waking up with you beside me. Lately you have seen more affected; becoming paler, surreal, like you´re diminishing. It worries me beyond belief. Just how bad is it?"
Legolas hesitated, for a moment considering the possibility of denial, but then he realized that he owed his lover a decent explanation.
"I don´t know precisely how bad it is, only that it´s serious indeed."
"Then...you mean...you could be...."The future king could not bring himself to utter the last words.
The elf nodded and now he looked him straight in the eyes.
"Yes, Aragorn" he said "and that´s the reason I wished to hide it from you, although it was obviously in vain. I did not want to make your burden heavier."
"So you bore this alone...the possibility that you could be dying and all the physical pain...I just wish you could have shared it with me..."
He drew Legolas close, so that the elf´s head rested on his chest.
"Do not shut me out anymore. You own my soul. I want you beside me, I can´t loose you."
The elf smiled sadly.
"Don´t think about it right now, you have to concentrate on your task, my king." He looked at the sword the man had laid down on the ground. "I will not leave your side, now I have nothing more to hide, you know enough. One day soon, we will have to face the fact about this dream, but now is not the day.... or the time." He lifted his head and kissed the man´s lips softly.
Aragorn thought that perhaps he should protest, but he could not form any coherent thoughts, feeling totally numb inside. He realized that the reason for that numbness was to keep his defenses up, to hinder himself from falling in to utter despair when he dwelled on the consequences of this revelation. His lover was right; he had to focus on the present and not on his feelings, much less linger on thoughts concerning the future.
In what almost seemed like desperation, he returned the kiss and when he felt Legolas tense against him, he did not know what to do.
"This is so hard" he said," my touch brings you pain, maybe I should leave you alone, we can just sit here like this and be near each other".
"Well" Legolas answered, suddenly smiling mischievously "that would not only make me disappointed, but Gimli as well. I think he would prefer we make better use of our time together."
"I do not want to hurt you, further."
"The future king surely talks too much. Now be quiet and kiss me again."
Satisfied at seeing the elf regain some of his lighthearted spirit, the human soon granted the request.
As he had promised, Legolas stayed when the ache started and the blood started to steam from his nose.
"Elbereth" Aragorn whispered, totally horrified at what he saw. It was worse than he had ever imagined; too see the unspeakable pain on the elf´s beautiful face, and to be able to do nothing. He only held the archer close, not caring if the blood was smeared out on his chest while he tried to soothe him with random kisses on the forehead.
"Is it always like this?" he said when the elf relaxed a bit against him. The human took a cloth to clean off the blood, that had stilled somewhat, on Legolas´face.
The elf blinked, still feeling quite a large amount of pain, but the nearness of his beloved made it more endurable than it had ever been.
"Yes, almost." He sat up." Thank you for staying with me, it really means a lot."
Aragorn stroked his cheek, letting his fingers trace the curve of the elf´s shoulders. "I love you so much" he whispered again. "How could Ive done anything else? My only regret is that I did not confront you earlier, and that I allowed you to follow me on this road."
"You could not have stopped me, you know that. This is not making it worse in any way, I have all my physical strength left, this condition does not making me weaker, strange as it is."
´Yet´ Aragorn thought, but he did not voice it.
"We will have to part soon enough anyway, if we see this through to the end, whether we succeed or not" the elf continued. When he saw the devastated look on the man´s face he continued: "Even if it will leave my heart in despair."
The man made a sound as if to protest but went quiet. He did not wish to understand it, but he knew the archer was all too right. None of them could linger on these thoughts too long though, they hade to put their minds on their mission, otherwise everything would be lost.
After those words both of them sat silent for a long time, before they started to dress themselves. They were ready just before Gimli came back. The dwarf did not say anything until they were on their horses again.
"I am glad Aragorn figured everything out, now you can go on from here".
´Go on, to where?´ Legolas thought . Their time together was running out, and it made him feel like he bled more from inside than he had ever done from the healing. Looking at the mortal, he knew he felt the same thing.
TBC. Please review!