Shades of Gray
A/N: Wow, this is the best response I've ever had to a fanfiction, so I must be doing something right. And please don't give up on writing something just because I'm writing it. To me this story seems really delicate, and I have no doubt in my mind that I'll screw it up. Besides, I'd like to read someone else's views. On another note, my filly smeared me into a wall and now my knees look like tenderized meat, so all I could really do yesterday and today is sit and write. Hope you like it! Oh yes, and I'm sorry about the layout and the migrating or missing punctuation in these chapters, but I can't really solve the problem until I get Word fixed... But I'll do what I can. Sorry! (Thanks Valor...) And as for your question Aislynn, I'm not saying anything. -twiddles thumbs- I was undecided, but then I figured out what I wanted to do with the plot, so you'll just have to wait and see :). I think you'll find my way of connecting both worlds through Era is pretty unpredictable. I really didn't have a specific time picked out yet, though I had an idea, and I might have to change a few things later on. For all the time I spent pondering this fic, I really didn't do much planning... It's more of a 'get my mind off of school' fic than anything, so I'm really not studying too much. Besides, I don't think I remember any of the finer or even the less-than-fine details from any of the books except LOTR and The Hobbit, and then only because I read them during school when I had to either focus or listen to teachers drone... -sigh- I have a very bad memory. And as for orcish tendencies, Tolkien didn't seem to say too much except what the ones under the will of one dark lord or another did, so I'm trying to beef up the good things where I saw gaps or hints. Like you said, a lot of them were likely to forget how exactly their ancestors lived. If I get something wrong, which I definitely will sometime or another, like I said, I'm not really going for 'true to legend.' One of my goals was to make the orcs an actual race/civilization, not just the pawns of some big boss in Mordor. Which is exactly why I think a lot of people aren't going to like this story... -sigh- Glad you all do, though! -toddles away to write a new chapter-
Chapter 3: Patience
~*~
There were many complications to such a simple act, Haldir later concluded. He couldn't let her walk behind for fear that she might try to bolt again, and he couldn't make her walk in front because she didn't know the way. And so they walked near abreast, Erashnak slinking back and away as he matched her pace, keeping her in full vision at the corner of his eye while still in the lead.
But the more he thought of it, the less likely she seemed to try and run. Of course, she had no where to go, and no reason not to trust him, or so he thought. And he was certain that they had made a connection when she set her hand against his, a bridge toward trust, or at least acceptance and tolerance - so strange an occurrence couldn't have left nothing behind. Not to mention that she seemed to be tired, more weary than he could guess, and in no condition to run. All in all, she would probably have followed behind him much more comfortably and without incident.
In fact, the more he continued to think about it, the more he realized that he just wanted her in sight. It could have been her rather peculiar appearance, or her even stranger actions. It might also have stemmed from her talented, if unconventional and rather painful (to him at least), use of her sword. But, for whatever reason, it simply felt like the right thing to do. Force your presence on a wild creature, and in time it will come to accept you as part of its life, perhaps even a friend, if done correctly. And so he treated Erashnak, who acted the part, though again and again he thought of children sneaking glances at powerful elven lords and ladies, trying to stare at the strange, ethereal characters without being noticed.
It felt like leading about a wild horse who was just being handled for the first time, full of fearful, suspecting, jittery tendencies. She seemed calm and quite enough at times, and then only an elf could have sensed the tenseness that radiated from her very skin. But at other times she would flinch at the slightest movement or sound. All things considered, she was completely on edge for more than half the day.
But slowly, as the day grew warmer and she grew more and more tired, Erashnak began to relax. Haldir gave her a kind smile, briefly wondering if it was a smile of relief or encouragement, but very glad that she had finally calmed down. Without thinking the orc felt her lips curve up slightly, drowsily, and the elf marveled at how much such a simple act had improved her strange, ragged appearance.
By now Erashnak was beyond thinking that the elf was going to harm her in any way, though still not certain of his purposes. She hadn't put Haldir and the attack on her and her mother's life together yet, and wasn't about to for quite a long time. No, she didn't think of death or heartache, not yet. Instead she began gazing at the foliage around her, while sneaking equally inspecting glances at her escort.
She had never thought to truly meet an elf before, and though she hadn't known what she was expecting, this certainly wasn't it. The cruel, murderous image that was embedded in her mind was not what her eyes saw. Haldir was quick and silent in all he did, graceful without attempt. He seemed to fit together with the forest like the most essential piece of a vast puzzle, and yet, as they passed, it seemed as if they were simply being permitted to walk through a wonderful place and admire, fitting in only because they wanted to. It was the most... right... feeling she had ever experienced.
The silence that had stretched between them seemed strongly pleasant, once Erashnak had lost the intensity of her fear and apprehension. Of course, there had not been many words between them yet, and so silence wasn't all that strange a notion to begin with, and they talked just as little throughout their journey. All was quiet most of the time, save for the voicing of a direction from Haldir, or a sharp intake of breath or a sigh from Erashnak. All things considered, the day passed rather quickly, and night would soon fall.
The orc had been weaving as she walked for quite some time now, but as the sun finally began to wane toward the horizon Haldir noticed her stumble on nothing several times. When he was forced to hold an arm out to keep her from falling, the elf quickly decided that they would have to stop for the night, though it was against his wishes. He would have preferred to go on until they reached the outpost the next day, but Erashnak was obviously in no state to walk anywhere farther than the nearest good campsite, if that.
"We'll stop here for the night, and move on in the morning," said Haldir, as he glanced up at the sturdy branches of a well-sheltered tree. Erashnak stared at the elf for a moment, summoning her thoughts to the realm of consciousness.
"Here?" she asked, her words slow and slurred with tire, catching the elf by surprise. He hadn't expected her to say anything, as she seemed taken to do.
"I don't see why not. This tree has very strong branches, and it won't be hard to climb."
The surprised terror on Erashnak's face was enough to tell him that he hadn't calmed her fears at all.
"Sleep - in a tree?" Erashnak gazed up at the tall structure, letting a shiver run down her spine. She had climbed sheer stone walls that could make a mountain goat nauseous, and she had slept on ledges that would have made any mortal sick. But seeing the slender branches reach out above her and trying to imagine sleeping on them was more than she could take. She would fall out for sure, she realized, taking a step back as if the tree might reach down and grab her.
"It is the safest place," Haldir said, angling his shoulders at the mixture of curiosity and annoyance that had entered his mind. There was nothing more for it - sleeping in a tree was the only way they could be guaranteed safety. "Are you afraid of heights?" he asked as an afterthought, that strange, curious feeling winning again.
"Heights?" she blinked, now chafing her arms, obviously not understanding the concept. All there was in Moria was heights and depths. It wasn't really thought about.
"Are you afraid to climb up so high," Haldir elaborated, with a gesture toward the branches.
Erashnak blinked again and shook her head. "No, I am not afraid of heights. But those branches... they are so thin!" she sighed, feeling as if her brain had gone numb, speaking half in a moan, exasperated and hungry and tired and in quite a deal of pain.
Haldir stared at his newest companion, taking in how slow and drowsy her words were formed, and how she seemed to hang on her bones as if she were half-dead. Then he glanced at the tree again and sighed as well. He couldn't afford to let her fall out of a tree when they had done so much to rescue her, and the probable risk that she might fall and injure herself outweighed the safety bought by the tree's height.
"I was planning on going on through the night anyway. Sleep on the ground, and I'll keep watch in the tree." He watched her eyes calm with relief and sighed, yet again, a vague smile in his eyes. "But first the water skin needs to be refilled, and you need to eat something."
Erashnak locked eyes with him suddenly, caught off guard once again. She had been startled when the elf had offered her a drink from his own water skin the first time, but by the end of the day it had almost seemed normal. But the idea of providing food was another thing entirely. She could live another day without food. She couldn't have lived another day without water. And the fact that he was so willing to stay up all night and keep watch while she slept was just too much to handle. Elves weren't supposed to go out of their way to help orcs. It was the complete inverse of the very laws of the universe! Erashnak felt herself shiver, stepping back again. But Haldir seemed not to notice it, striding off into the trees once more, and Erashnak felt she had no choice but to follow. She certainly wasn't staying there alone.
It didn't take long before the elf found a small grove among the taller trees where stouter apple trees had found a place to take root. It was just such a thing that he had been hoping to find. Erashnak was obviously not going to make it through hunting and cooking before she fell asleep, and Haldir didn't have any food on him at all. The pack he carried was small, and in it was nothing more than a blanket, a cloak, some rope, tools to fix clothing and weapons as well as a bit of the most basic first aid. It could hang on his back beside quiver and bow and seem almost as if it wasn't there. But the larger pack in which he'd carried other supplies, food and more water, had been shrugged off when he and his comrades had staked out the orc encampment, and he hadn't grabbed it when he was forced to race after Erashnak, never having imagined that she could take them so far off track. A packet of lembas would have seemed worth many times its weight in gold at the moment, but the elvish waybread crumbled too easily to be carried in this small pack.
Haldir quickly spotted the tree with the best fruit, and gently set his hand against the rough bark of its trunk, closing his eyes for a moment. Erashnak stared in silence, wondering what he was doing, but then he was sitting on one of the sturdy branches before she could blink twice. She watched, still in awe, as the elf picked an apple and glanced it over before deciding it was fit to eat.
"If you wish, I can throw some down to you, if you stand right there. It would be much faster than me carrying them down," he said, nodding toward the ground below him, though he didn't expect her to move. It was more an invitation than anything, hoping that she would decide to stop acting like some doe being led about by a hunter. But Erashnak's mind, in its weary state, had reverted to it normal mode, where orders were listened to without a second thought.
Erashnak had moved before she had quite registered the 'throw' part of the sentence, but when Haldir let the fruit drop she lifted her hands with a start and suddenly found herself holding an apple. It was still rather green, but a lighter shade and blushed with reddish-pink. But it was the first apple she had ever seen, and she turned it around in her hands uselessly, enjoying the smooth texture of its surface but having no idea what to do with it.
Suddenly another apple was falling toward her, and she just barely caught it, one-handed. She smiled at her small accomplishment, still having no idea what she was catching. But Haldir smiled as well, surprised but encouraged by her sudden decision to participate, and she had to set the apples down quickly when three more came falling toward her, followed soon after by another four. Two fell on the ground, one rolling out of her arms as she tried to hold them all and the other missing her entirely. And as she tried to reach for it, yet around started falling out of her arms and she tried to catch it one-handed again, but it slipped, and she tried again, and it rolled, and by the time she had tried to catch it a third time she was bent over double and found her hand on the ground, just as all the rest of the apples rolled out of her arms as well.
Setting the rest of the way down on her knees Erashnak couldn't help but laugh, near hysterically, feeling tears well up in her eyes at the hilarity of the situation. But truthfully, she was much too weary to laugh, and the sound seemed loud and feral. But Haldir was glad she did, though the somewhat insane sound of it was a bit frightening, because he was hardly containing his own laughter and would have soon failed to do so. Deciding that her laughter gave him leave to do as much, he could hardly climb out of the tree for all of it. If ever in his life he had thought that one day he'd watch an elf maiden dressed as an orc juggle an armful of apples (quite horribly), he would have worried for his own sanity. But knowing the game was more or less (mostly more) his fault, the elf was quick to scoop up the apples and dust one off, handing it to her.
Erashnak stared at the apple and at Haldir with an eyebrow raised, her eyes full of questioning. Finally, when he only gazed back in surprise, she said, "What, exactly, is this thing?"
Haldir almost choked on his laughter, shaking his head She had no idea what he'd been throwing at her all this time. It was more than hard to imagine.
"This," he said, holding up a smooth, two-toned fruit, "is an apple. A type of fruit - you eat it," he ended at last when she continued to fix him with her uncomprehending gaze. He watched her glance back at the apple again before giving a lopsided smile and taking a bite out of one. The other eyebrow came up as well as she watched him, but with only a slight hesitation she too took a bite out of an apple.
The fruit was so sweet she almost coughed it up, but commanded her throat to swallow and tried to picture the taste again. It was like nothing she had ever tried before, utterly... delicious. Ignoring the angered churn of her stomach as it complained about the sweetness it had never come in contact with before, she took another bite, and was able to savor it. She was surprised to find that apples, or at least this one, were full of juice, sun warmed and of a strange texture, not soft but not quite hard or crunchy. Smiling Erashnak confirmed the thought in her mind - apples were amazing.
A little surprised by her reaction, Haldir smiled in turn, wondering what strange thoughts were going through her head. But with one glance at the bleary expression in her eyes, he held out his hand to help her up so that they could be on their way.
Erashnak jumped when his hand appeared in front of her, but found herself taking it none-the-less, watching with a shocked expression as he pulled her up as if she were made of feathers, still not able to comprehend what was going on. Then suddenly she crowded away, horrified that she had dropped her guard so much so quickly. Being tired was no excuse to act so comfortable around an elf, and she chafed her hand as if he had burned her. Then she watched his expression fall, landing somewhere around confusion, and, more surprisingly, hurt.
He had been hoping that she had finally decided to be companionable, or at least unafraid of him, but it appeared that all of his experiments to make her calm down had solved nothing. They hadn't exactly explained what to do in such a strange situation while he was being trained for the Guard, but he had been certain that if he tried to show her that she need not be afraid as well as he could think to, that she would do so. 'You just need to be patient,' said that little annoying voice in the back of his head. And, of course, it was right. Years of learning to fear the elves couldn't be dropped so quickly, he came to realize, though the thought was barely half-formed in his mind.
Glancing down at the ground for a moment, Erashnak took another bite of the apple, sighing. She had given up to thirst, and she had given up to hunger. She could at least try to give up to her anxious, tense feelings and let him have a break from her jittery suspicions. If she was going to sleep while he was around, then she might as well give up completely. And there was no possible way that she could have kept herself awake. The amusement of catching apples might have revived her somewhat, but she was still tired enough to sleep for days. It would be better for both of them, she realized, as she lingered over the emotionally drained feeling that ate at the pit of her stomach.
But, for a moment, some fleeting thought shot through her head, telling her that when she woke up, more alert and no longer feeling as if her mind had been turned to water and drained out her ears, she would be thinking much differently again. But in her weariness she couldn't get a firm grasp on the warning thought, and it was gone.
As they walked back in silence, Haldir could sense the moment when she sighed internally and let her tense features fall. It was almost as if she'd been emptied of everything all of a sudden, now only the husk of a creature walking beside him. And then, before too long, she was gazing ahead of her, eating another apple, calm and quiet as any elf might be. Haldir inclined his head with a sarcastic smile, and she looked away, her lips curving up on their own accord.
Before long they were back at the tree in which Haldir had proposed they sleep, but instead he walked over to a more sheltered place between two large, outstretched roots of a far older tree. Taking off his pack he found the blanket he kept with him and slung it over a large, upthrust root.
"The dew falls heavy so close to the earth," he said, nodding toward the blanket with a faint grin. "I'll refill the water skin; I heard a little stream not far away. I won't be gone long," he added, not exactly sure if that would sight a good or bad thing to her.
Erashnak nodded blearily and watched him walk away, standing in a strange, lazy position until she snapped to awareness once more and found herself thinking of nothing but sleep. Feeling literally numbed with weariness she untied her leather armor and set it against the tree with hardly a thought, pulling off her boots as well and flexing her toes gladly as she unbuckled the belt that held her sword. Suddenly feeling very light as she stood there with only a tunic and leggings on, she found herself grabbing the blanket, whirling it around herself and plopping to the ground, nearly curled up in a ball.
Now completely covered with the blanket, she could smell Haldir all around her, and it seemed a little amusing and a little frightening all the same. She hadn't thought that the blanket might smell like him, but of course it was only natural, and after a moment she decided that it wasn't unpleasant, not the sweaty, musty smell of orc, but lighter, hardly a presence. Never-the-less she made herself a breathing hole in her little cocoon and peered out into the growing darkness, feeling so strongly empty and lost that she felt sick. Like a wolf, captured and put in a cage, giving up to a life so much less than that which it once had. But, then again, the children of that first captured wolf were the hounds and lapdogs of today, and they relished the company of man and woman alike. Perhaps, in time. Her mind wandered, wondering what exactly she was thinking about with all of these wolves and dogs and thoughts of just needing time.
Haldir was soon back, and setting the water skin down he glanced at Erashnak and grinned. She looked perfectly lump-like, curled up under the blanket so tightly. He saw her eyes looking out at him from a little opening in the folds, and lifted an eyebrow at her. But she only blinked at him before closing her eyes and huddling even closer into the tree.
Shaking his head Haldir took up his post in the opposite tree. "Sleep well," he said, still grinning at the sight of the little Erashnak lump that was set against the roots, almost like a rock. She shifted under the blanket, but said nothing, more than likely already in the deepest sleep he had ever seen. And, for some unknown reason, his smile faded to a line, and then fell even further to a frown. She may have given up the intensity of her fear, for it drained her beyond its worth, but now she felt like the empty shell of a being that might blow away in the wind, and her knew that fragility wasn't exactly the feeling that Erashnak favored most. The morning might come very difficult once more.
Patience,' chastised his mind yet again. But even still he couldn't quell the sudden, nagging fears that were flooding his mind. It was elves that she feared, and it was to the elves that he was leading her. And they didn't have much time.
~*~
A/N: -sigh- So I take it she's tired? -beats herself over the head w/ the keyboard- Well... I don't know. I guess this chapter is ok... But I really don't like all of this 'furthering the plot' stuff, and I'm having trouble deciding what Erashnak should already know and what she shouldn't. The wolf and dog thing I attribute to orcs knowing about hunting hounds, so they would laugh at lapdogs and the fact that they all came from wolves. -sigh- I don't know... Hopefully I'll get to another good plot chapter by chapter five... I'll be writing as much as I can very quickly - I leave Friday to visit a relative in another state and then school starts of Monday... -sigh again- Life has turned against me.
A/N: Wow, this is the best response I've ever had to a fanfiction, so I must be doing something right. And please don't give up on writing something just because I'm writing it. To me this story seems really delicate, and I have no doubt in my mind that I'll screw it up. Besides, I'd like to read someone else's views. On another note, my filly smeared me into a wall and now my knees look like tenderized meat, so all I could really do yesterday and today is sit and write. Hope you like it! Oh yes, and I'm sorry about the layout and the migrating or missing punctuation in these chapters, but I can't really solve the problem until I get Word fixed... But I'll do what I can. Sorry! (Thanks Valor...) And as for your question Aislynn, I'm not saying anything. -twiddles thumbs- I was undecided, but then I figured out what I wanted to do with the plot, so you'll just have to wait and see :). I think you'll find my way of connecting both worlds through Era is pretty unpredictable. I really didn't have a specific time picked out yet, though I had an idea, and I might have to change a few things later on. For all the time I spent pondering this fic, I really didn't do much planning... It's more of a 'get my mind off of school' fic than anything, so I'm really not studying too much. Besides, I don't think I remember any of the finer or even the less-than-fine details from any of the books except LOTR and The Hobbit, and then only because I read them during school when I had to either focus or listen to teachers drone... -sigh- I have a very bad memory. And as for orcish tendencies, Tolkien didn't seem to say too much except what the ones under the will of one dark lord or another did, so I'm trying to beef up the good things where I saw gaps or hints. Like you said, a lot of them were likely to forget how exactly their ancestors lived. If I get something wrong, which I definitely will sometime or another, like I said, I'm not really going for 'true to legend.' One of my goals was to make the orcs an actual race/civilization, not just the pawns of some big boss in Mordor. Which is exactly why I think a lot of people aren't going to like this story... -sigh- Glad you all do, though! -toddles away to write a new chapter-
Chapter 3: Patience
~*~
There were many complications to such a simple act, Haldir later concluded. He couldn't let her walk behind for fear that she might try to bolt again, and he couldn't make her walk in front because she didn't know the way. And so they walked near abreast, Erashnak slinking back and away as he matched her pace, keeping her in full vision at the corner of his eye while still in the lead.
But the more he thought of it, the less likely she seemed to try and run. Of course, she had no where to go, and no reason not to trust him, or so he thought. And he was certain that they had made a connection when she set her hand against his, a bridge toward trust, or at least acceptance and tolerance - so strange an occurrence couldn't have left nothing behind. Not to mention that she seemed to be tired, more weary than he could guess, and in no condition to run. All in all, she would probably have followed behind him much more comfortably and without incident.
In fact, the more he continued to think about it, the more he realized that he just wanted her in sight. It could have been her rather peculiar appearance, or her even stranger actions. It might also have stemmed from her talented, if unconventional and rather painful (to him at least), use of her sword. But, for whatever reason, it simply felt like the right thing to do. Force your presence on a wild creature, and in time it will come to accept you as part of its life, perhaps even a friend, if done correctly. And so he treated Erashnak, who acted the part, though again and again he thought of children sneaking glances at powerful elven lords and ladies, trying to stare at the strange, ethereal characters without being noticed.
It felt like leading about a wild horse who was just being handled for the first time, full of fearful, suspecting, jittery tendencies. She seemed calm and quite enough at times, and then only an elf could have sensed the tenseness that radiated from her very skin. But at other times she would flinch at the slightest movement or sound. All things considered, she was completely on edge for more than half the day.
But slowly, as the day grew warmer and she grew more and more tired, Erashnak began to relax. Haldir gave her a kind smile, briefly wondering if it was a smile of relief or encouragement, but very glad that she had finally calmed down. Without thinking the orc felt her lips curve up slightly, drowsily, and the elf marveled at how much such a simple act had improved her strange, ragged appearance.
By now Erashnak was beyond thinking that the elf was going to harm her in any way, though still not certain of his purposes. She hadn't put Haldir and the attack on her and her mother's life together yet, and wasn't about to for quite a long time. No, she didn't think of death or heartache, not yet. Instead she began gazing at the foliage around her, while sneaking equally inspecting glances at her escort.
She had never thought to truly meet an elf before, and though she hadn't known what she was expecting, this certainly wasn't it. The cruel, murderous image that was embedded in her mind was not what her eyes saw. Haldir was quick and silent in all he did, graceful without attempt. He seemed to fit together with the forest like the most essential piece of a vast puzzle, and yet, as they passed, it seemed as if they were simply being permitted to walk through a wonderful place and admire, fitting in only because they wanted to. It was the most... right... feeling she had ever experienced.
The silence that had stretched between them seemed strongly pleasant, once Erashnak had lost the intensity of her fear and apprehension. Of course, there had not been many words between them yet, and so silence wasn't all that strange a notion to begin with, and they talked just as little throughout their journey. All was quiet most of the time, save for the voicing of a direction from Haldir, or a sharp intake of breath or a sigh from Erashnak. All things considered, the day passed rather quickly, and night would soon fall.
The orc had been weaving as she walked for quite some time now, but as the sun finally began to wane toward the horizon Haldir noticed her stumble on nothing several times. When he was forced to hold an arm out to keep her from falling, the elf quickly decided that they would have to stop for the night, though it was against his wishes. He would have preferred to go on until they reached the outpost the next day, but Erashnak was obviously in no state to walk anywhere farther than the nearest good campsite, if that.
"We'll stop here for the night, and move on in the morning," said Haldir, as he glanced up at the sturdy branches of a well-sheltered tree. Erashnak stared at the elf for a moment, summoning her thoughts to the realm of consciousness.
"Here?" she asked, her words slow and slurred with tire, catching the elf by surprise. He hadn't expected her to say anything, as she seemed taken to do.
"I don't see why not. This tree has very strong branches, and it won't be hard to climb."
The surprised terror on Erashnak's face was enough to tell him that he hadn't calmed her fears at all.
"Sleep - in a tree?" Erashnak gazed up at the tall structure, letting a shiver run down her spine. She had climbed sheer stone walls that could make a mountain goat nauseous, and she had slept on ledges that would have made any mortal sick. But seeing the slender branches reach out above her and trying to imagine sleeping on them was more than she could take. She would fall out for sure, she realized, taking a step back as if the tree might reach down and grab her.
"It is the safest place," Haldir said, angling his shoulders at the mixture of curiosity and annoyance that had entered his mind. There was nothing more for it - sleeping in a tree was the only way they could be guaranteed safety. "Are you afraid of heights?" he asked as an afterthought, that strange, curious feeling winning again.
"Heights?" she blinked, now chafing her arms, obviously not understanding the concept. All there was in Moria was heights and depths. It wasn't really thought about.
"Are you afraid to climb up so high," Haldir elaborated, with a gesture toward the branches.
Erashnak blinked again and shook her head. "No, I am not afraid of heights. But those branches... they are so thin!" she sighed, feeling as if her brain had gone numb, speaking half in a moan, exasperated and hungry and tired and in quite a deal of pain.
Haldir stared at his newest companion, taking in how slow and drowsy her words were formed, and how she seemed to hang on her bones as if she were half-dead. Then he glanced at the tree again and sighed as well. He couldn't afford to let her fall out of a tree when they had done so much to rescue her, and the probable risk that she might fall and injure herself outweighed the safety bought by the tree's height.
"I was planning on going on through the night anyway. Sleep on the ground, and I'll keep watch in the tree." He watched her eyes calm with relief and sighed, yet again, a vague smile in his eyes. "But first the water skin needs to be refilled, and you need to eat something."
Erashnak locked eyes with him suddenly, caught off guard once again. She had been startled when the elf had offered her a drink from his own water skin the first time, but by the end of the day it had almost seemed normal. But the idea of providing food was another thing entirely. She could live another day without food. She couldn't have lived another day without water. And the fact that he was so willing to stay up all night and keep watch while she slept was just too much to handle. Elves weren't supposed to go out of their way to help orcs. It was the complete inverse of the very laws of the universe! Erashnak felt herself shiver, stepping back again. But Haldir seemed not to notice it, striding off into the trees once more, and Erashnak felt she had no choice but to follow. She certainly wasn't staying there alone.
It didn't take long before the elf found a small grove among the taller trees where stouter apple trees had found a place to take root. It was just such a thing that he had been hoping to find. Erashnak was obviously not going to make it through hunting and cooking before she fell asleep, and Haldir didn't have any food on him at all. The pack he carried was small, and in it was nothing more than a blanket, a cloak, some rope, tools to fix clothing and weapons as well as a bit of the most basic first aid. It could hang on his back beside quiver and bow and seem almost as if it wasn't there. But the larger pack in which he'd carried other supplies, food and more water, had been shrugged off when he and his comrades had staked out the orc encampment, and he hadn't grabbed it when he was forced to race after Erashnak, never having imagined that she could take them so far off track. A packet of lembas would have seemed worth many times its weight in gold at the moment, but the elvish waybread crumbled too easily to be carried in this small pack.
Haldir quickly spotted the tree with the best fruit, and gently set his hand against the rough bark of its trunk, closing his eyes for a moment. Erashnak stared in silence, wondering what he was doing, but then he was sitting on one of the sturdy branches before she could blink twice. She watched, still in awe, as the elf picked an apple and glanced it over before deciding it was fit to eat.
"If you wish, I can throw some down to you, if you stand right there. It would be much faster than me carrying them down," he said, nodding toward the ground below him, though he didn't expect her to move. It was more an invitation than anything, hoping that she would decide to stop acting like some doe being led about by a hunter. But Erashnak's mind, in its weary state, had reverted to it normal mode, where orders were listened to without a second thought.
Erashnak had moved before she had quite registered the 'throw' part of the sentence, but when Haldir let the fruit drop she lifted her hands with a start and suddenly found herself holding an apple. It was still rather green, but a lighter shade and blushed with reddish-pink. But it was the first apple she had ever seen, and she turned it around in her hands uselessly, enjoying the smooth texture of its surface but having no idea what to do with it.
Suddenly another apple was falling toward her, and she just barely caught it, one-handed. She smiled at her small accomplishment, still having no idea what she was catching. But Haldir smiled as well, surprised but encouraged by her sudden decision to participate, and she had to set the apples down quickly when three more came falling toward her, followed soon after by another four. Two fell on the ground, one rolling out of her arms as she tried to hold them all and the other missing her entirely. And as she tried to reach for it, yet around started falling out of her arms and she tried to catch it one-handed again, but it slipped, and she tried again, and it rolled, and by the time she had tried to catch it a third time she was bent over double and found her hand on the ground, just as all the rest of the apples rolled out of her arms as well.
Setting the rest of the way down on her knees Erashnak couldn't help but laugh, near hysterically, feeling tears well up in her eyes at the hilarity of the situation. But truthfully, she was much too weary to laugh, and the sound seemed loud and feral. But Haldir was glad she did, though the somewhat insane sound of it was a bit frightening, because he was hardly containing his own laughter and would have soon failed to do so. Deciding that her laughter gave him leave to do as much, he could hardly climb out of the tree for all of it. If ever in his life he had thought that one day he'd watch an elf maiden dressed as an orc juggle an armful of apples (quite horribly), he would have worried for his own sanity. But knowing the game was more or less (mostly more) his fault, the elf was quick to scoop up the apples and dust one off, handing it to her.
Erashnak stared at the apple and at Haldir with an eyebrow raised, her eyes full of questioning. Finally, when he only gazed back in surprise, she said, "What, exactly, is this thing?"
Haldir almost choked on his laughter, shaking his head She had no idea what he'd been throwing at her all this time. It was more than hard to imagine.
"This," he said, holding up a smooth, two-toned fruit, "is an apple. A type of fruit - you eat it," he ended at last when she continued to fix him with her uncomprehending gaze. He watched her glance back at the apple again before giving a lopsided smile and taking a bite out of one. The other eyebrow came up as well as she watched him, but with only a slight hesitation she too took a bite out of an apple.
The fruit was so sweet she almost coughed it up, but commanded her throat to swallow and tried to picture the taste again. It was like nothing she had ever tried before, utterly... delicious. Ignoring the angered churn of her stomach as it complained about the sweetness it had never come in contact with before, she took another bite, and was able to savor it. She was surprised to find that apples, or at least this one, were full of juice, sun warmed and of a strange texture, not soft but not quite hard or crunchy. Smiling Erashnak confirmed the thought in her mind - apples were amazing.
A little surprised by her reaction, Haldir smiled in turn, wondering what strange thoughts were going through her head. But with one glance at the bleary expression in her eyes, he held out his hand to help her up so that they could be on their way.
Erashnak jumped when his hand appeared in front of her, but found herself taking it none-the-less, watching with a shocked expression as he pulled her up as if she were made of feathers, still not able to comprehend what was going on. Then suddenly she crowded away, horrified that she had dropped her guard so much so quickly. Being tired was no excuse to act so comfortable around an elf, and she chafed her hand as if he had burned her. Then she watched his expression fall, landing somewhere around confusion, and, more surprisingly, hurt.
He had been hoping that she had finally decided to be companionable, or at least unafraid of him, but it appeared that all of his experiments to make her calm down had solved nothing. They hadn't exactly explained what to do in such a strange situation while he was being trained for the Guard, but he had been certain that if he tried to show her that she need not be afraid as well as he could think to, that she would do so. 'You just need to be patient,' said that little annoying voice in the back of his head. And, of course, it was right. Years of learning to fear the elves couldn't be dropped so quickly, he came to realize, though the thought was barely half-formed in his mind.
Glancing down at the ground for a moment, Erashnak took another bite of the apple, sighing. She had given up to thirst, and she had given up to hunger. She could at least try to give up to her anxious, tense feelings and let him have a break from her jittery suspicions. If she was going to sleep while he was around, then she might as well give up completely. And there was no possible way that she could have kept herself awake. The amusement of catching apples might have revived her somewhat, but she was still tired enough to sleep for days. It would be better for both of them, she realized, as she lingered over the emotionally drained feeling that ate at the pit of her stomach.
But, for a moment, some fleeting thought shot through her head, telling her that when she woke up, more alert and no longer feeling as if her mind had been turned to water and drained out her ears, she would be thinking much differently again. But in her weariness she couldn't get a firm grasp on the warning thought, and it was gone.
As they walked back in silence, Haldir could sense the moment when she sighed internally and let her tense features fall. It was almost as if she'd been emptied of everything all of a sudden, now only the husk of a creature walking beside him. And then, before too long, she was gazing ahead of her, eating another apple, calm and quiet as any elf might be. Haldir inclined his head with a sarcastic smile, and she looked away, her lips curving up on their own accord.
Before long they were back at the tree in which Haldir had proposed they sleep, but instead he walked over to a more sheltered place between two large, outstretched roots of a far older tree. Taking off his pack he found the blanket he kept with him and slung it over a large, upthrust root.
"The dew falls heavy so close to the earth," he said, nodding toward the blanket with a faint grin. "I'll refill the water skin; I heard a little stream not far away. I won't be gone long," he added, not exactly sure if that would sight a good or bad thing to her.
Erashnak nodded blearily and watched him walk away, standing in a strange, lazy position until she snapped to awareness once more and found herself thinking of nothing but sleep. Feeling literally numbed with weariness she untied her leather armor and set it against the tree with hardly a thought, pulling off her boots as well and flexing her toes gladly as she unbuckled the belt that held her sword. Suddenly feeling very light as she stood there with only a tunic and leggings on, she found herself grabbing the blanket, whirling it around herself and plopping to the ground, nearly curled up in a ball.
Now completely covered with the blanket, she could smell Haldir all around her, and it seemed a little amusing and a little frightening all the same. She hadn't thought that the blanket might smell like him, but of course it was only natural, and after a moment she decided that it wasn't unpleasant, not the sweaty, musty smell of orc, but lighter, hardly a presence. Never-the-less she made herself a breathing hole in her little cocoon and peered out into the growing darkness, feeling so strongly empty and lost that she felt sick. Like a wolf, captured and put in a cage, giving up to a life so much less than that which it once had. But, then again, the children of that first captured wolf were the hounds and lapdogs of today, and they relished the company of man and woman alike. Perhaps, in time. Her mind wandered, wondering what exactly she was thinking about with all of these wolves and dogs and thoughts of just needing time.
Haldir was soon back, and setting the water skin down he glanced at Erashnak and grinned. She looked perfectly lump-like, curled up under the blanket so tightly. He saw her eyes looking out at him from a little opening in the folds, and lifted an eyebrow at her. But she only blinked at him before closing her eyes and huddling even closer into the tree.
Shaking his head Haldir took up his post in the opposite tree. "Sleep well," he said, still grinning at the sight of the little Erashnak lump that was set against the roots, almost like a rock. She shifted under the blanket, but said nothing, more than likely already in the deepest sleep he had ever seen. And, for some unknown reason, his smile faded to a line, and then fell even further to a frown. She may have given up the intensity of her fear, for it drained her beyond its worth, but now she felt like the empty shell of a being that might blow away in the wind, and her knew that fragility wasn't exactly the feeling that Erashnak favored most. The morning might come very difficult once more.
Patience,' chastised his mind yet again. But even still he couldn't quell the sudden, nagging fears that were flooding his mind. It was elves that she feared, and it was to the elves that he was leading her. And they didn't have much time.
~*~
A/N: -sigh- So I take it she's tired? -beats herself over the head w/ the keyboard- Well... I don't know. I guess this chapter is ok... But I really don't like all of this 'furthering the plot' stuff, and I'm having trouble deciding what Erashnak should already know and what she shouldn't. The wolf and dog thing I attribute to orcs knowing about hunting hounds, so they would laugh at lapdogs and the fact that they all came from wolves. -sigh- I don't know... Hopefully I'll get to another good plot chapter by chapter five... I'll be writing as much as I can very quickly - I leave Friday to visit a relative in another state and then school starts of Monday... -sigh again- Life has turned against me.