Disclaimer: all to J.K. Rowlings
AUTHOR'S NOTE: All right then, this one delivers exactly what it promises, Hufflepuff Stuff and Nonsense. It's a bit of conversation between Ernie MacMillan and Hannah Abbot. You can imagine where it takes place, but let me warn you before hand. It's stupid, really, but it was rather fun to write, you know? Well, first Hannah, then Ernie, etc.
Hufflepuff Stuff and Nonsense
"Good Morning!"
"What's so good about it?"
"Geez, sorry. What's the matter with you today?"
"Nothing. Everything's just absolutely peachy, Abbot."
"Fine. If you're gonna be like that, forget I said anything."
"I'll do just that. Now, if you don't mind..."
"You're really no fun today, Ernie."
"That makes sense, seeing as how I'm not trying to be."
"Fine, I'm going." Pause. "You're not trying to stop me."
"Why should I?"
"I don't know. Usually when people are upset, they want to talk about it."
"That's all well and good. Except for the fact that I'm not upset."
"You sure act like you are."
"A prefect does not get upset. A prefect is above such things."
"Maybe...but regular people aren't."
"I'm not 'regular people' anymore, Hannah."
"You're right."
"Thank you."
"You're a thick-headed, pompous ass."
"Now see here--!"
"And you're very...very egological."
"Egotistical, Abbot."
"See? You couldn't last a day without correcting someone. You're sort of reminding me of my old Primary School teacher. She did the exact same thing."
"Really, Hannah, that's a bit too much. I'm not some stuffy old biddy."
"Right. I bet you couldn't go a day without correcting someone."
"I could."
"You wouldn't do very good at all."
"Well."
"Well what?"
"It's 'you wouldn't do very WELL at all.' Not 'good.' Well."
"See? You failed already."
"Shut up, Abbot."
"I don't have to, Ernie."
"You're such a child."
"Uh-uh! I am not!"
"You act like one."
"You're not a very good friend."
"Neither are you."
"What? Why am I not a good friend?"
"You're nosy and you won't leave me alone."
"I'm not nosy. I just want to know what's bothering you and why you won't tell me."
"You're not proving your point very well. Just so you know."
"Shut up."
Pause.
"Do you really want to know what's bothering me?"
"Yes."
"If I tell you, will you go away?"
"Most likely."
"I'll take that as a yes."
Pause.
"So? Are you going to tell me?"
"No. I don't think I shall."
"What? But you just said you would!"
"Fine. I'll tell you."
"Finally."
"You."
"Pardon?"
"You."
"What about me?"
"You're bothering me."
"I am?"
"Yes. And you're not making it any better by staying here, you know."
"I don't think I'll go away just yet. Why do I bother you?"
"Oh, God..."
"Was it the whole 'pompous ass' thing? Because I didn't mean it. You ought to know that about me by now."
"It's not that."
"Or is it about comparing you to my old teacher? Or yesterday when I called you a stuffed-up old prune? Or the day before when I said you looked as though you constantly had a wand up your arse? Or when..."
"I'm leaving now, Hannah..."
"But, Ernie! I'm trying to help!"
"Oh, you are so full of stuff and nonsense. You're a right old hag when you put your mind to it."
"Now, Ernie. That was uncalled for."
"Yes, I suppose you're right...You don't have to put your mind to it. You're always a right old hag!"
"Ernie MacMillan!"
"Good. At least that got you to shut your gob for a bit. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a prefect's meeting to attend."
Well, there you go. Stupid, I know, but it was fun to write. I guess I figured that even Hufflepuffs must squabble occasionally. Please review.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: All right then, this one delivers exactly what it promises, Hufflepuff Stuff and Nonsense. It's a bit of conversation between Ernie MacMillan and Hannah Abbot. You can imagine where it takes place, but let me warn you before hand. It's stupid, really, but it was rather fun to write, you know? Well, first Hannah, then Ernie, etc.
Hufflepuff Stuff and Nonsense
"Good Morning!"
"What's so good about it?"
"Geez, sorry. What's the matter with you today?"
"Nothing. Everything's just absolutely peachy, Abbot."
"Fine. If you're gonna be like that, forget I said anything."
"I'll do just that. Now, if you don't mind..."
"You're really no fun today, Ernie."
"That makes sense, seeing as how I'm not trying to be."
"Fine, I'm going." Pause. "You're not trying to stop me."
"Why should I?"
"I don't know. Usually when people are upset, they want to talk about it."
"That's all well and good. Except for the fact that I'm not upset."
"You sure act like you are."
"A prefect does not get upset. A prefect is above such things."
"Maybe...but regular people aren't."
"I'm not 'regular people' anymore, Hannah."
"You're right."
"Thank you."
"You're a thick-headed, pompous ass."
"Now see here--!"
"And you're very...very egological."
"Egotistical, Abbot."
"See? You couldn't last a day without correcting someone. You're sort of reminding me of my old Primary School teacher. She did the exact same thing."
"Really, Hannah, that's a bit too much. I'm not some stuffy old biddy."
"Right. I bet you couldn't go a day without correcting someone."
"I could."
"You wouldn't do very good at all."
"Well."
"Well what?"
"It's 'you wouldn't do very WELL at all.' Not 'good.' Well."
"See? You failed already."
"Shut up, Abbot."
"I don't have to, Ernie."
"You're such a child."
"Uh-uh! I am not!"
"You act like one."
"You're not a very good friend."
"Neither are you."
"What? Why am I not a good friend?"
"You're nosy and you won't leave me alone."
"I'm not nosy. I just want to know what's bothering you and why you won't tell me."
"You're not proving your point very well. Just so you know."
"Shut up."
Pause.
"Do you really want to know what's bothering me?"
"Yes."
"If I tell you, will you go away?"
"Most likely."
"I'll take that as a yes."
Pause.
"So? Are you going to tell me?"
"No. I don't think I shall."
"What? But you just said you would!"
"Fine. I'll tell you."
"Finally."
"You."
"Pardon?"
"You."
"What about me?"
"You're bothering me."
"I am?"
"Yes. And you're not making it any better by staying here, you know."
"I don't think I'll go away just yet. Why do I bother you?"
"Oh, God..."
"Was it the whole 'pompous ass' thing? Because I didn't mean it. You ought to know that about me by now."
"It's not that."
"Or is it about comparing you to my old teacher? Or yesterday when I called you a stuffed-up old prune? Or the day before when I said you looked as though you constantly had a wand up your arse? Or when..."
"I'm leaving now, Hannah..."
"But, Ernie! I'm trying to help!"
"Oh, you are so full of stuff and nonsense. You're a right old hag when you put your mind to it."
"Now, Ernie. That was uncalled for."
"Yes, I suppose you're right...You don't have to put your mind to it. You're always a right old hag!"
"Ernie MacMillan!"
"Good. At least that got you to shut your gob for a bit. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a prefect's meeting to attend."
Well, there you go. Stupid, I know, but it was fun to write. I guess I figured that even Hufflepuffs must squabble occasionally. Please review.