Disclaimer: all to J.K. Rowlings
AUTHOR'S NOTE: All right, I know I said at the beginning that none of these little ficlet thingies would be connected, but I couldn't resist adding something to this one. This is a companion piece to IT, but it takes place between Pansy and Draco. I figure them sitting in the common room late one night, when they're pretty much alone. It's pretty much about Pansy sort of studying Draco and trying to decide how much she ought to tell him. First Pansy, then Draco, etc.
Trust
"Sometimes I wonder about you."
"What's there to wonder about?"
"Not much, but I still wonder..."
"You're very annoying, Parkinson. Did you know that?"
"I ought to know by now. You say it often enough."
"And I'll say it again, too, if you don't leave me alone."
"But I'm afraid to leave."
"Afraid? Of what?"
"Of leaving you alone."
"What in hell would make you afraid to leave me alone?"
"I don't trust you."
"Well, at least you've learned something about me after all these years."
"And you should be glad I've learned my lesson well."
"Why, pray tell, is that?"
"Because I have a feeling you'd be dead now if I did trust you enough to leave you alone."
"You obviously think very little of me."
"On the contrary, I look up to you. I respect you more than I do any other. But respect and admiration are different than trust."
"You're a girl of many faces, Parkinson. I don't know what happened to the snarling creature that used to hang on my arm and throw rude comments at every turn. I'm not so sure I know you."
"I'm still the same old Pansy at heart and I'll tear your throat out if you ever cross my path. You'll do well to remember that."
"Ah, see? That's my Pansy. Bloodthirsty, ruthless, and totally heartless."
"That's how I've always been."
"Not anymore. You've changed somehow. I can't pinpoint it, but it's there just the same."
"Maybe I haven't changed. Maybe it's you."
"No, I'm just the same. I'm the same platinum-haired, smart-mouthed, and totally sour person I've been throughout my life. And you used to fit into that life perfectly. Sometimes I used to think you had a sharper tongue than I. But you're different now."
"I suppose I simply think differently."
"Think differently? How could you think differently?"
"I think for myself now. It's not that my whole process of thinking changed, or maybe it has, but it's that now I think of what's best for me."
"You sound a little selfish."
"No, you misunderstand. I don't think about what I can gain, I just think about if it's the best decision for me. Not if it is for you or anyone else."
"You're not making much sense."
"No. I don't suppose I am."
Pause.
"There's something you're not telling me. I can see it...in your eyes. You don't want to tell me."
"No, I don't."
"But you will."
"But I will."
Pause.
"Well? What is it?"
"I'm leaving soon."
"Well, yes, so am I. It's nearly the summer holidays. I'll be leaving for home."
"I'll be leaving. But not for home."
"You taking your holiday somewhere else?"
"You could say that."
"So, where? London? France? Spain? Italy?"
"I don't know yet. But it will be somewhere...somewhere fantastic."
"You could always drop by the manor, if you wish. Father and mother won't mind."
"No, I don't think I'll ever go back there again."
"What's that supposed to mean? Am I not good enough for you anymore? Are you above me now?"
"I never have been above you."
"I should bloody well say not."
"You've always been too good for me."
"Quite right."
"And that's part of the problem."
"Problem? What sort of problem?"
"Our problem, the one between me and you. You don't need me the way I need to be needed."
"You're not making any sense."
"I know. If I make too much sense then you'll tell your father and all my wonderful dreams will be dashed."
"I won't tell my father any of your secrets, Parkinson. He couldn't possible be interested in the dreams of some homely schoolgirl."
"That's just the thing. I'm not 'some homely schoolgirl' anymore. And another thing. I don't tell you because I don't trust you."
"But you love me."
"I know I do."
"And I love you."
"It's good to hear you finally say it."
"So tell me. People who love each other share their feelings with each other."
"But you wouldn't understand. What I could say would only tear us further apart. And, besides, sometimes the best thing to do for someone you love is to let them alone."
"Then why don't you leave me alone, Parkinson?"
"Because I still don't trust you. Not yet."
"You don't trust anyone."
"I trust myself."
"Fat lot of good that does you."
"I still wonder about you sometimes."
"About what?"
"I wonder why you're so attached to the life you lead. It isn't a good one. It will not lead you to greater things. It will only lead you to pain, betrayal, and ultimately, if such a place exists, hell."
"That's where you're wrong. My life will lead me to wealth, power, and a place of importance. I don't believe in heaven, or hell, and I don't plan to visit either one."
"And that's why I can't stay."
"Because you fear hell?"
"No, because I can't bear watching you take yourself down a path where you must pay homage to some creature who isn't entirely a real person."
"I could have you killed just for saying that."
"I know."
"But I won't. I still love you enough to forgive you that minor indiscretion."
"And I thank you. But I've got to go now."
"Now?"
"Yes."
"But...why?"
"I already told you."
"But-but I love you! I plan to marry you. You can't leave me!"
"I'm sorry, but my leaving will be better for the both of us. In time."
"Damn it all, Pansy! You can't leave!"
"I can and I will."
"But I love you..."
"And I love you, but some things are...stronger than even love. I can not allow myself to lose everything I hold dear just to satisfy you. You're worth more than that. You deserve someone who will be content all their days with you. That's not me."
"It could be you. I love you."
"But not enough to sacrifice him for me. And I need to be more than second best."
"Fine. Go out and see the world, live in poverty, lose yourself in all the slums you can find. You'll be dreaming of our time together and waking in tears. You'll regret leaving before the year is out."
"Goodbye, Draco. I won't forget you. And I think I can trust you now with your life. You understand me now. Goodbye."
Pause.
"I used to trust myself, but now that she trusts me...well, I'm not so sure if I can trust myself anymore."
Okay, a bit weird, but, eh. I like to write 'em, so I write 'em as I want. Well, review, please!
AUTHOR'S NOTE: All right, I know I said at the beginning that none of these little ficlet thingies would be connected, but I couldn't resist adding something to this one. This is a companion piece to IT, but it takes place between Pansy and Draco. I figure them sitting in the common room late one night, when they're pretty much alone. It's pretty much about Pansy sort of studying Draco and trying to decide how much she ought to tell him. First Pansy, then Draco, etc.
Trust
"Sometimes I wonder about you."
"What's there to wonder about?"
"Not much, but I still wonder..."
"You're very annoying, Parkinson. Did you know that?"
"I ought to know by now. You say it often enough."
"And I'll say it again, too, if you don't leave me alone."
"But I'm afraid to leave."
"Afraid? Of what?"
"Of leaving you alone."
"What in hell would make you afraid to leave me alone?"
"I don't trust you."
"Well, at least you've learned something about me after all these years."
"And you should be glad I've learned my lesson well."
"Why, pray tell, is that?"
"Because I have a feeling you'd be dead now if I did trust you enough to leave you alone."
"You obviously think very little of me."
"On the contrary, I look up to you. I respect you more than I do any other. But respect and admiration are different than trust."
"You're a girl of many faces, Parkinson. I don't know what happened to the snarling creature that used to hang on my arm and throw rude comments at every turn. I'm not so sure I know you."
"I'm still the same old Pansy at heart and I'll tear your throat out if you ever cross my path. You'll do well to remember that."
"Ah, see? That's my Pansy. Bloodthirsty, ruthless, and totally heartless."
"That's how I've always been."
"Not anymore. You've changed somehow. I can't pinpoint it, but it's there just the same."
"Maybe I haven't changed. Maybe it's you."
"No, I'm just the same. I'm the same platinum-haired, smart-mouthed, and totally sour person I've been throughout my life. And you used to fit into that life perfectly. Sometimes I used to think you had a sharper tongue than I. But you're different now."
"I suppose I simply think differently."
"Think differently? How could you think differently?"
"I think for myself now. It's not that my whole process of thinking changed, or maybe it has, but it's that now I think of what's best for me."
"You sound a little selfish."
"No, you misunderstand. I don't think about what I can gain, I just think about if it's the best decision for me. Not if it is for you or anyone else."
"You're not making much sense."
"No. I don't suppose I am."
Pause.
"There's something you're not telling me. I can see it...in your eyes. You don't want to tell me."
"No, I don't."
"But you will."
"But I will."
Pause.
"Well? What is it?"
"I'm leaving soon."
"Well, yes, so am I. It's nearly the summer holidays. I'll be leaving for home."
"I'll be leaving. But not for home."
"You taking your holiday somewhere else?"
"You could say that."
"So, where? London? France? Spain? Italy?"
"I don't know yet. But it will be somewhere...somewhere fantastic."
"You could always drop by the manor, if you wish. Father and mother won't mind."
"No, I don't think I'll ever go back there again."
"What's that supposed to mean? Am I not good enough for you anymore? Are you above me now?"
"I never have been above you."
"I should bloody well say not."
"You've always been too good for me."
"Quite right."
"And that's part of the problem."
"Problem? What sort of problem?"
"Our problem, the one between me and you. You don't need me the way I need to be needed."
"You're not making any sense."
"I know. If I make too much sense then you'll tell your father and all my wonderful dreams will be dashed."
"I won't tell my father any of your secrets, Parkinson. He couldn't possible be interested in the dreams of some homely schoolgirl."
"That's just the thing. I'm not 'some homely schoolgirl' anymore. And another thing. I don't tell you because I don't trust you."
"But you love me."
"I know I do."
"And I love you."
"It's good to hear you finally say it."
"So tell me. People who love each other share their feelings with each other."
"But you wouldn't understand. What I could say would only tear us further apart. And, besides, sometimes the best thing to do for someone you love is to let them alone."
"Then why don't you leave me alone, Parkinson?"
"Because I still don't trust you. Not yet."
"You don't trust anyone."
"I trust myself."
"Fat lot of good that does you."
"I still wonder about you sometimes."
"About what?"
"I wonder why you're so attached to the life you lead. It isn't a good one. It will not lead you to greater things. It will only lead you to pain, betrayal, and ultimately, if such a place exists, hell."
"That's where you're wrong. My life will lead me to wealth, power, and a place of importance. I don't believe in heaven, or hell, and I don't plan to visit either one."
"And that's why I can't stay."
"Because you fear hell?"
"No, because I can't bear watching you take yourself down a path where you must pay homage to some creature who isn't entirely a real person."
"I could have you killed just for saying that."
"I know."
"But I won't. I still love you enough to forgive you that minor indiscretion."
"And I thank you. But I've got to go now."
"Now?"
"Yes."
"But...why?"
"I already told you."
"But-but I love you! I plan to marry you. You can't leave me!"
"I'm sorry, but my leaving will be better for the both of us. In time."
"Damn it all, Pansy! You can't leave!"
"I can and I will."
"But I love you..."
"And I love you, but some things are...stronger than even love. I can not allow myself to lose everything I hold dear just to satisfy you. You're worth more than that. You deserve someone who will be content all their days with you. That's not me."
"It could be you. I love you."
"But not enough to sacrifice him for me. And I need to be more than second best."
"Fine. Go out and see the world, live in poverty, lose yourself in all the slums you can find. You'll be dreaming of our time together and waking in tears. You'll regret leaving before the year is out."
"Goodbye, Draco. I won't forget you. And I think I can trust you now with your life. You understand me now. Goodbye."
Pause.
"I used to trust myself, but now that she trusts me...well, I'm not so sure if I can trust myself anymore."
Okay, a bit weird, but, eh. I like to write 'em, so I write 'em as I want. Well, review, please!