Disclaimer: all to J.K. Rowlings
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Well, to start off, let me just say that this whole heart business actually happened at my school. On Valentine's Day all of the girls had to wear a paper heart on a string and they weren't allowed to talk to any of the boys. If they did, they had to give their heart to the boy that made them talk. If the girl still had her heart at the end of the day she got a candy bar and the boy with the most hearts at the end of the day got some prize as well. This follows the same idea, but with a heart being magicked to the girls and it goes onto the boys when they talk. And this takes place in the Gryffindor common room on Valentine's Day with the game going on. Ron and Harry are trying to get Hermione's heart. First Ron, then Harry, etc. Oh and there's a little bit of Hermione near the end. Just keep in mind, Hermione's there the whole time, but she can't talk. Okay, go on.
Stealing Hearts
"This has got to be the craziest scheme Dumbledore's come up with to date."
"I absolutely agree with you."
"Complete hogwash."
"Exactly."
"This stupid heart business is absolute codswallop."
"Absolutely."
"We can't even get her to speak to us. Look at her. Her face is all red. You can tell she wants to talk to us."
"Oh, yes."
"But she can't if she wants that nice bit of chocolate from Honeydukes at the end of the day. It's quite a prize. I wouldn't mind it meself."
"Neither would I."
"But the only way we'll get some is if we steal the most hearts."
"How do we do it? Steal the hearts, I mean. They're fastened quite securely to-well-to a place I shouldn't think to put my hand anytime soon."
"I should bloody well say not! The little bugger's smack dab in the middle of her blouse. You put your hand there and I'll kill ya. Then Hermione'll take her chances with ya after I'm through."
"Hey. She opened her mouth."
"Yeah, but no words."
"It was a close call, that."
"Yeah. Very nearly got her to talk to us, didn't we?"
"Yeah."
"So, how many hearts you got so far, mate?"
"Three. Luna's, Parvati's, and Ginny's."
"Ha! You got Gin's!"
"Yeah. Purely accidental. We both forgot what day it was. I came down the stairs and asked her what was for breakfast and, before you know it, the little thing jumped off her robe and onto mine."
"I wish I could've seen the look on her face. I bet she was in a right state."
"Absolutely mad she was." Pause. "How many have you got?"
"Four. Lavender's, Susan's, some Ravenclaw, and, if you'll believe it, Pansy's."
"Pansy? Pansy Parkinson?"
"Yep."
"The pug-faced Slytherin princess? Also known as Malfoy's simpering girlfriend?"
"The one and only."
"Wow. I'll bet he wasn't too keen on that."
"Not a bit."
Pause.
"So, how do you suppose we get Hermione's heart?"
"By getting her to talk, numbskull."
"I meant, how do we get her to talk."
"I don't know. We could try all the usual things."
"Right...like what?"
"Like...Snape is a slimy git who's going to poison us all during class and not give us the antidote."
Pause.
"Oh, very close, mate. She's turning quite a lovely strawberry color. You can tell she's really wanting to say something."
"When does she not want to say something?"
"Look at her now! She looks like she wants to--oh! She did smack you. I thought she just wanted to. Good one, Hermione."
"Shut up, Harry."
"Why? I'm not in danger of losing my heart."
"Good. I don't want yours. I want hers."
"That sounds kind of odd, you know."
"This is so stupid. Whoever thought of this ought to get a smart whack on the head."
"It was Dumbledore."
"I know that. And he still ought to get a good hit. Though I doubt it would knock much sense into him."
"You're baiting her, Ron."
"Only a bit. Nothing serious."
"She thinks differently. Get a look at her. She's practically boiling."
"Practically."
"You have a gift for getting the girl angry."
"What can I say? I'm blessed."
"By the scowl on her face, I'd say she begs to differ."
"Well, to beg she has to talk. Will she talk?"
Pause.
"You didn't really think she would, did you?"
"No. It would have been un-Hermione-like if she had. She never gives up once she puts her mind to something."
"Hey. Look at her now. You've complimented her."
"Yeah. Just like a mule, that one. Stubborn as hell. But she's got a thicker head."
"You're really pushing it now, mate."
"Yeah, but she's still not talking."
"But you can still keep trying to make her talk."
"Okay, try I shall."
"You're a brave soul, Ron."
"Aye, I am." Pause. "Now, my book-worm friend. Imagine that Harry and I weren't there. You'd probably be reading, which you do anyway. And you'd be fuming at me or Harry...probably me, now I think of it...and you'd be doing research on something for your damned spew project. Which, by the way, only Dobby seems to support."
Pause.
"Good try, that. She opened her mouth and everything."
"Yeah, but, well, it's not good enough."
"Give her another go."
"Ha! That alone made her mad. Let's try it again, shall we? You know, give her another go. Why does she get so angry at that, I wonder?"
"I dunno..."
"Ah, anyway...huh...you know, Harry, Hermione looks kinda pretty when she's all riled up."
"Whoa, Ron. That's pulling the game a bit too far."
"No, I'm serious. Look at her. She's like a picture. You know, the whole wavy hair, rosy cheeks, doe-eyed kinda thing. See what I mean?"
"I think you've spent too much time around those potions fumes, mate. You've gone off your rocker, you have."
"Nah...She's just very pretty. I never noticed before...Wow, look at her now when she's not angry. Even prettier."
"Okay, now I know you've lost it."
"Maybe I have...But I think I'm having one of those piffy thingies. I just realized 'Mione's not only a girl, but a damn pretty one."
"I think you mean 'epiphany', Ron."
"Yeah. Too bad I'm not getting the OK. I'd kiss her in a heartbeat."
Pause.
"Oh, dammit all, Ron. Just go on and kiss me already."
"Ha! Did you see that? I told you I'd get her heart! Didn't I? Well, here it is! Honeyduke's chocolate, here I come!"
"Smooth, Ron."
"Thank you. As I said before, I got a gift for making her angry."
Pause.
"Ha-ha! Ron! She got you good! Now, do you have a gift for getting out of that body-bind?"
Well, I like that one, simply because I think it's how some of the day would have gone in my school. That is, if we had magic. Oh, well... Please review!
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Well, to start off, let me just say that this whole heart business actually happened at my school. On Valentine's Day all of the girls had to wear a paper heart on a string and they weren't allowed to talk to any of the boys. If they did, they had to give their heart to the boy that made them talk. If the girl still had her heart at the end of the day she got a candy bar and the boy with the most hearts at the end of the day got some prize as well. This follows the same idea, but with a heart being magicked to the girls and it goes onto the boys when they talk. And this takes place in the Gryffindor common room on Valentine's Day with the game going on. Ron and Harry are trying to get Hermione's heart. First Ron, then Harry, etc. Oh and there's a little bit of Hermione near the end. Just keep in mind, Hermione's there the whole time, but she can't talk. Okay, go on.
Stealing Hearts
"This has got to be the craziest scheme Dumbledore's come up with to date."
"I absolutely agree with you."
"Complete hogwash."
"Exactly."
"This stupid heart business is absolute codswallop."
"Absolutely."
"We can't even get her to speak to us. Look at her. Her face is all red. You can tell she wants to talk to us."
"Oh, yes."
"But she can't if she wants that nice bit of chocolate from Honeydukes at the end of the day. It's quite a prize. I wouldn't mind it meself."
"Neither would I."
"But the only way we'll get some is if we steal the most hearts."
"How do we do it? Steal the hearts, I mean. They're fastened quite securely to-well-to a place I shouldn't think to put my hand anytime soon."
"I should bloody well say not! The little bugger's smack dab in the middle of her blouse. You put your hand there and I'll kill ya. Then Hermione'll take her chances with ya after I'm through."
"Hey. She opened her mouth."
"Yeah, but no words."
"It was a close call, that."
"Yeah. Very nearly got her to talk to us, didn't we?"
"Yeah."
"So, how many hearts you got so far, mate?"
"Three. Luna's, Parvati's, and Ginny's."
"Ha! You got Gin's!"
"Yeah. Purely accidental. We both forgot what day it was. I came down the stairs and asked her what was for breakfast and, before you know it, the little thing jumped off her robe and onto mine."
"I wish I could've seen the look on her face. I bet she was in a right state."
"Absolutely mad she was." Pause. "How many have you got?"
"Four. Lavender's, Susan's, some Ravenclaw, and, if you'll believe it, Pansy's."
"Pansy? Pansy Parkinson?"
"Yep."
"The pug-faced Slytherin princess? Also known as Malfoy's simpering girlfriend?"
"The one and only."
"Wow. I'll bet he wasn't too keen on that."
"Not a bit."
Pause.
"So, how do you suppose we get Hermione's heart?"
"By getting her to talk, numbskull."
"I meant, how do we get her to talk."
"I don't know. We could try all the usual things."
"Right...like what?"
"Like...Snape is a slimy git who's going to poison us all during class and not give us the antidote."
Pause.
"Oh, very close, mate. She's turning quite a lovely strawberry color. You can tell she's really wanting to say something."
"When does she not want to say something?"
"Look at her now! She looks like she wants to--oh! She did smack you. I thought she just wanted to. Good one, Hermione."
"Shut up, Harry."
"Why? I'm not in danger of losing my heart."
"Good. I don't want yours. I want hers."
"That sounds kind of odd, you know."
"This is so stupid. Whoever thought of this ought to get a smart whack on the head."
"It was Dumbledore."
"I know that. And he still ought to get a good hit. Though I doubt it would knock much sense into him."
"You're baiting her, Ron."
"Only a bit. Nothing serious."
"She thinks differently. Get a look at her. She's practically boiling."
"Practically."
"You have a gift for getting the girl angry."
"What can I say? I'm blessed."
"By the scowl on her face, I'd say she begs to differ."
"Well, to beg she has to talk. Will she talk?"
Pause.
"You didn't really think she would, did you?"
"No. It would have been un-Hermione-like if she had. She never gives up once she puts her mind to something."
"Hey. Look at her now. You've complimented her."
"Yeah. Just like a mule, that one. Stubborn as hell. But she's got a thicker head."
"You're really pushing it now, mate."
"Yeah, but she's still not talking."
"But you can still keep trying to make her talk."
"Okay, try I shall."
"You're a brave soul, Ron."
"Aye, I am." Pause. "Now, my book-worm friend. Imagine that Harry and I weren't there. You'd probably be reading, which you do anyway. And you'd be fuming at me or Harry...probably me, now I think of it...and you'd be doing research on something for your damned spew project. Which, by the way, only Dobby seems to support."
Pause.
"Good try, that. She opened her mouth and everything."
"Yeah, but, well, it's not good enough."
"Give her another go."
"Ha! That alone made her mad. Let's try it again, shall we? You know, give her another go. Why does she get so angry at that, I wonder?"
"I dunno..."
"Ah, anyway...huh...you know, Harry, Hermione looks kinda pretty when she's all riled up."
"Whoa, Ron. That's pulling the game a bit too far."
"No, I'm serious. Look at her. She's like a picture. You know, the whole wavy hair, rosy cheeks, doe-eyed kinda thing. See what I mean?"
"I think you've spent too much time around those potions fumes, mate. You've gone off your rocker, you have."
"Nah...She's just very pretty. I never noticed before...Wow, look at her now when she's not angry. Even prettier."
"Okay, now I know you've lost it."
"Maybe I have...But I think I'm having one of those piffy thingies. I just realized 'Mione's not only a girl, but a damn pretty one."
"I think you mean 'epiphany', Ron."
"Yeah. Too bad I'm not getting the OK. I'd kiss her in a heartbeat."
Pause.
"Oh, dammit all, Ron. Just go on and kiss me already."
"Ha! Did you see that? I told you I'd get her heart! Didn't I? Well, here it is! Honeyduke's chocolate, here I come!"
"Smooth, Ron."
"Thank you. As I said before, I got a gift for making her angry."
Pause.
"Ha-ha! Ron! She got you good! Now, do you have a gift for getting out of that body-bind?"
Well, I like that one, simply because I think it's how some of the day would have gone in my school. That is, if we had magic. Oh, well... Please review!