Shades of Gray
A/N #1: Well, forget camping. In fact, forget everything. Isabel had other ideas, obviously. -sigh- So here I am, with Chapter 7 just for you! And yes, I have noticed how terrible the spacing is and how hard it is to read. I'm fixing all of the chapters... it shouldn't take long save for the fact that I'm trying to find all of my errors as well, and trying to rescue my poor punctuations! I'm not used to working on WordPad... I normally use Word, but it no longer works for me, Lord knows why. I'm still working on that. -sigh again- Oh well... I feel like writing mush. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
Chapter 7: Follow Your Dreams
~*~
"Come on Era, hurry up," called a faceless voice from above, and Erashnak glanced toward the sound for a moment before quickly reverting her gaze to make sure that her next foothold was secure. The cliff wall was beginning to curve outward again, and her long fingers were too flimsy to hold her up for long if she lost her footing. She sighed at the thought, knowing that she was slowing them down. A proper orc shouldn't have to rely on her feet so much - their arms were perfectly strong enough to hold them up. But not Erashnak's. In fact, she couldn't even climb downwards unless she went backwards - feet first - or else she would fall and break her neck. And a bit more besides, at this height, she realized as she looked down.
"Stop gawking and climb, Era! I've seen you scramble up cliffs twice this height in half the time. A few more steps and you're there! Can you believe it? I never thought we'd make it. Can you feel that wind?"
"It's so c-cold," stuttered the younger version of Erashnak, her teeth chattering. Climbing light was all well and good, but she wished she'd had the sense to wear something a bit warmer than a now sleeveless tunic under her patched apprentice armor. And cold, for an orc of Moria, was very cold indeed.
"Yes, but it's worth it. You'll see. Here - one more step, come on, there! Now give me your hand."
Erashnak did as she was told, and clenched her fingers around her brother's wrist as he easily lifted her up as if she were a rag doll. She let herself drape over her skeleton as he set her down, her legs curling under her and her back hunched.
"Come on, it isn't that bad," said the older orc, his hands swallowing hers as he pulled her up. "You were the one who talked me into it, at that. Shameful, you little wood-witch."
"Hmmm," muttered Erashnak, letting her brother's long arms encircle her shoulders, grateful of the warmth he lent her. Erudak, she decided, was the only one whom she could tolerate calling her elf-names.
"Come on then," he said, tugging at a lock of her strange hair with a smile.
"Are t-those the only t-two words you k-know?" she grumbled, thinking of how sore her bare feet were going to be later. What if the Balrog woke up and found them so far away from the deep... and so close to the territory that every orc seemed to mark as his...
How could she have told him about how much she wanted to do this? How could she not realize that he would expect her to do it... This was Erudak, by the Valar! He would never let her leave a dream unfulfilled. 'Follow your dreams,' he would say when she argued, 'or they'll just go on without you.' Men!
"As a matter of fact, no. And for that, hurry up! I'm not staying up here all day. Let's go and be gone before you turn any bluer and Mother finds out that we're up here. I don't want to see that look on her face again," said Erudak, rolling his eyes as if he would make his words into a prayer if it would help.
"You're the o-one who d-dragged me up here."
"You're the one who wanted to come."
"I d-didn't mean l-literately," Erashnak stammered, blinking as she saw her breath puff out in a cloud of smoke.
"Yes," said Erudak, "breath does that all the time in the cold. You just can't see it in the deep. Isn't it strange? Like your own little cloud."
"Mmmm," mumbled Erashnak again, huddling into her brother's side.
They walked for a while, the cold, bleak light growing around them, but to Erashnak it seemed so bright that she had to shield her eyes. Erudak did as well, she noticed, and smiled. At least she wasn't different in every way.
Suddenly, and for the first time ever to the younger orc's memory, the rock was no more and gray sky filled the new void with a lofty weightlessness that sent Erashnak's mind reeling. Cold wind blasted over them, and they dropped to their knees as it almost sent them backwards. Erudak crawled to the ledge and waved for his sister to follow, a gleaming smile of his face and star-lights in his eyes, but Erashnak was hesitant, feeling so naked and exposed in the open air. She had never felt real wind before, and the sudden absence of walls made her head feel light. She didn't know what she had expected, but this wasn't it.
But, as in anything for an orc so young, curiosity won out in the end and she scrambled to her brother's side, gawking up at the last few hundred feet left of the great mountain that their unknowing home had rested under for so long. And yet, this was the first time she had ever seen it. But even in the massive presence of this mighty spear of sharp, snow mantled stone, her attentions were drawn to an even more fascinating spectacle, her eyes wide despite the biting wind as she drank in the new world around her as if she had been dying of thirst. Perhaps, in a way, she had.
The world opened up before her like a giant flower, its leaves bursting with new colors for which Erashnak had no name and its vast beauty singing in her veins as she felt her heart thump against her chest in harsh, raw, untamable excitement. The sky, ominous to those who dwelt even then under its gloom, was a bright array of endless light in the eyes of the young orc, a tiny speck beside a larger speck, kneeling on a windswept precipice of a cold and lonely mountain in the middle of a world that she had only dreamt about for so long.
'Follow your dreams,' said the soft, gentle voice in her mind, 'or they'll just go on without you.'
'What's beyond these mountains?' her mind screamed. 'And those ones, over there? And what does that forest really look like, and that lake, does it have a name? Those plains, how many days would it take to travel across them? Look, a bird, a real bird! Please, please come closer! Do you have a name, little bird?'
But then, in the distance, a glimmer of silver-bright radiance caught her eye for but a moment. The ocean? Could it be? But the light was gone as quickly as it had come, and she strained over the edge to see it again, hungry for the wonders of this new world.
"You see that," said Erudak, breaking into her reverie. "That forest there, that's called Lothlorien. There's elves live there, and a wood- witch, just like you."
"E-elves," said Erashnak, her still-chattering voice incredulous as she gawked at the wood, admiring the strange trees that she could just make out through the mist. They didn't seem to grow anywhere else, she noticed with a thoughtful frown. "I d-didn't think they w-were so c-close. Maybe I n-never t-thought they were r-real. They always s-seemed like a s-story, and n-nothing more."
"They're real alright," said Erudak in a far colder tone, slipping into his big brother voice. "And they're just that - too close. That's why we can never leave Moria, Era. Elves are nothing but murderers. Because of them we have to scrape a life off of the stones, never able to hunt, never able to go and drink clear water. Never able to see the stars."
Erashnak remained silent, crowding closer to her brother unconsciously, her knees drawn up to her chin and her pale arms wrapped around them. She felt Erudak's long arms wrap around her as well, rocking her gently back-and-forth, and she felt hot tears prick at her eyes and spill over, biting her cold cheeks as they froze at once.
'Never leave Moria?' she thought, glancing down as if expecting to see the shattered fragments of her dreams glinting at her feet in the insipid light. 'How can I follow my dreams, when all they lead to is heartache?'
~*~
Erashnak woke with a start, gasping at the breath of warm air that puffed in her face and latching on to the figure before her with a yelp as she almost slide off of the... horse... that they both sat astride. A procession of harsh shivers ran down her spine as the suddenly warmer night air all around struck against what should be raw, wind-blasted skin, now not only cold but clammy as well. But none was as warm as the breath that had awoken her.
She felt the figure before her, onto which she was now firmly latched, shake with laugher, and turned her face into a cascade of fine silver-gold hair when she tried to look at him and see just what was so amusing. And though, for a moment, she felt as if she should be concerned, she became aware of how heavy her eyelids had become once more, and how little she really cared. Giving a soft moan she shifted her weight with as little movement as she could, and slumped against his back once more.
"I'm sorry," said a voice somewhere deep inside Haldir's chest, or so it seemed to Erashnak, her ear pressed against his back, "but I had to wake you. Erashnak?"
murmuring some dim reply about wind and mountains and flowers, the orc moved to look at the elf, who nearly smiled again to see her twisted into such a strange shape even as his face was painted with concern.
"I'm sorry I had to wake you, but if you're going to sleep, you have to sit in front. This horse will not let you fall, but if you slide off she cannot stop you, nor can I."
"Do you always breath in people's faces when they are asleep," drawled Erashnak, unfolding to rest her chin on his shoulder, her head lolling to the side.
"I do when they've become deaf to the world and turn such a lovely shade of blue. Are you well?" asked Haldir, frowning as he inclined his head, trying to get enough space between their faces so that he could focus on her features.
"Mmmm," replied Erashnak, not wanting to loose the wonderful, peaceful sleep-feeling that still lingered over her like the sun-warmth of a rock, remaining even as the evening chills. "Just a dream."
At the moment, even Erashnak was too tired for elaborations.
Haldir sighed, shaking his head, and a smile played with the corners of his lips as the orc's eyes fluttered and closed yet again. He elbowed her in the stomach this time, and she gasped before groaning at him, the pitch of her voice rising to something near a whine.
"Are you awake now?"
"Yes," she mumbled, lifting her head and then thunking it back down against his shoulder in exasperation. "Yes," she repeated, and continued the sequence again. It made her dizzy, she realized with a giggle, this head-thunking thing. She grinned hysterically, her shoulders shaking as they tried to sag.
"Good," said Haldir, and before she knew quite what was happening there was nothing before her anymore, and Erashnak pitched forward, nearly banging her nose off of the horse's withers.
"You'll have to move up a bit," said the elf, his voice seeming wrong as it came from so much farther down, and she lifted herself into a sitting position to stare down at him, blinking. He lifted an eyebrow, and she glanced back at the saddle beneath her, finally catching the drift of what he was saying and scooting forward.
She clutched at the beast's mane as the saddle shifted, edging even further forward with a start as she felt the elf swing his leg over and sit down behind her. This was very uncomfortable, she realized, for in this position she would be forced to sit rigid and upright or slide even further forward and let the cantle splay her legs even more. And with the dull ache that was rising up in protest already, both the former and the latter were not an option. Her tailbone couldn't take much more of this.
"Swing your leg over the horse's neck," supplied a voice from behind her, "And it will be more comfortable for both of us. I promise not to let you fall," he added.
Erashnak glanced back at him, realizing that Haldir would be forced to reach a hand around her on either side to hold to reins, and have to lean over her to see the path before them properly. Not to mention that she would be forced to slide back against him so that he could even use said reins, and they would be so plastered together that it drove another shiver down her spine, though she did not quite know why.
But, if she took his advise, she would be completely putting herself into his care. He would be able to hold the reins with one hand, and hold her on with the other. But if he let go, she would slide off within seconds, quite possibly head-first, to great injury... death, even, she realized with widened eyes.
"I swear it," came his surprisingly tender reply. "I will not let you fall."
Her head light, Erashnak gave a slow nod, swaying where she sat. It was strange, of course, nodding at the empty space between the horse's ears, but the elf behind her seemed to get the message, a smile spreading over his lips in reply to the strange look she was giving the creature.
But such a simple theory was far more complicated than it seemed, really. The orc had to lean back to swing her leg over, and Haldir was forced to cross an arm over her collar and shoulders to keep her steady as she began to slip to the side. And once her leg was over, there came the task of finding the balance of where she needed to be sitting for the comfort of both of them. But, in the end, and not before a few bouts of laughter, Erashnak found herself half-laying, half-sitting in the elf's care, the faint smile on her lips reflecting the like on his.
The horse, now thoroughly disgruntled by their strange doings and the fact that she had been forced to stand still for nearly a quarter of an hour, lifted a foot and stamped it back down on the path with fervor.
Erashnak flinched, and then internally scolded herself for the fact that she still could not put all of her faith in the elf. But, for once, Haldir actually didn't seem to mind. Perhaps he hadn't noticed, she thought blandly, as he gathered the reins. She could feel his muscles flex as he touched his heels to the horse's sides, seeming completely oblivious to the fact that she was currently white-knuckled, her fingers in a death grip on his tunic, which would soon be very wrinkled indeed.
Breathing deeply, in out, in out, she tried to make herself get used to the horse's rolling walk once more, but Haldir soon pushed them into a trot, and Erashnak found herself burrowing her face into his shoulder. His sigh, exasperated, seemed to rumble in her ear, and she listened to it curiously. The sound faded away into silence once more, but then faintly she became aware of the fact that she could hear him breathe, which she had never thought of before, for he breathed so softly. And, even deeper in the myriad of sounds, she could hear his heartbeat, so low and steady that it began to seem as if she felt it, rather than heard it. The echoing clip- clop of the horse's hooves blending with the rhythm, and for a moment she wondered if it were not her own heartbeat she was hearing, for there was no 'beat-beat, beat-beat, beat-beat.' It was slow, firm, steady as the foundations of the earth, 'beat-beat-beat-beat-beat...' She wondered if he could hear it too.
Taking a deep breath she sighed, realizing with a sleepy smile that she had now regained Haldir's scent on her skin, and the thought felt bittersweet, for this familiarity was the only one that could be regained. But she laughed within herself to notice that Haldir was also gaining the smell of her, as well as the lingering smell of the soaps she had been washed with. According to the unspoken customs of those she had come from, they were part of each other now - family. An orc and an elf.
She opened the only eye she could, the other too pressed against him, and gazed up past the elf's face, seeming deep within his own thoughts as he gazed out ahead of them. The trees were darker blotches against the blue- black night sky, the cold lights of the stars winking as the leaves played over them. It was very late - or very early. The cool breeze, nothing near the cold of her dream, washed like silk over her face, toying with gossamer tendrils of her hair and his, refreshing and calming and soothing beyond measure. It was impossible to resist its tantalizing caress, and Erashnak turned her face upward, letting her eyelids fall closed as the night brushed against her pale skin.
The only reminder of all the heartache that her dreams had led her to thus far lay only in the strength of the elf's arm against her back, and the warmth he emanated at her side, and the dissolving rhythm of the horse's rolling gait beneath her. And, surprisingly, it didn't seem all that terrible at all.
~*~
The night wore on and the moon rose, drifting across the sky in the subtle dance of the hours like a dancer on a stage of cobalt glass. Slipping from his labyrinth of thoughts, slow as if wading through a flood, Haldir turned his face upward the gaze at it, still a slender young sickle in the sky, casting but a faint silver halo against the dark endlessness beyond.
Then he noticed a far nearer luminescence, and glanced down to see the vague reflection of the stars in Erashnak's tire-clouded eyes, seeming to gaze up from within a realm between sleep and awakening. The moon, even such a dim, slender thing as it was, set a glow to the orc's pale-dark skin, and her strange hair gleamed with a dull silver that he couldn't recall seeing there before, her near weightless form resting against him, a peaceful warmth spreading from her skin to his, and threading through his veins as if to ward off the night chill.
The ghost of a smile settled on his lips as her eyes cast to the side to meet his gaze, and he was startled to see how deep the endless wells of her eyes truly were, extended beyond the waking world into the realm near dreams. If he looked, very closely, he thought, he could see another picture besides his own reflection in them, images shimmering like water as it burst into the pool beyond a spring, full of clear, pure life.
She blinked, under his gaze, and turned into him further, stealing her eyes from his view as a vague smile spread over her lips. Unconsciously he pulled her closer, so that a whispered word, though he knew not why he was whispering, could be heard. Peace, the night seem to say. Quiet, stillness, serenity.
"You never told me what you dreamt," he said, his voice little more than a breath.
"Hmmm," came the reply, the orc's eyelids half-opening for a moment before falling shut once more.
"I do not know how you can be so tired," he smiled, shaking his head.
"I am," she said into his shoulder, and he felt the warmth of her breath like a burning brand when the night had grown so cool around them. "Blood tired, bone weary," she mumbled, shifting her weight again, but finding the task too difficult and giving up.
Sighing Haldir readjusted the way she lay in his arms for her, and caught a glimmer of her laughing eyes in reward.
"Perhaps you'll tell me, someday," he said.
"Tell you what...," her voice faded away into a content sigh.
"Your dream."
Her heavy eyelids lifted once more, for but a moment, as if to be certain that he was being serious. He gave her a gentle smile, and she returned it with the smile of one who had found peace, at last, and could not be interrupted with annoyance, surprise, or amusement.
"Perhaps," she breathed, and he watched as her grip on his tunic, already weakened, was lost completely, her hand resting over the wrinkled fabric as if trying to feel his heartbeat, or to heal him.
"Sleep well," he murmured, turning his gaze ahead of them once more.
~*~
A/N #2: Awwwwwwww.... sweet, short chapter. Erashnak's so cute when she's sleeping. Well, I don't know when my next update will be, because now we're going to try to camp out NEXT weekend. -sigh- But, no doubt, something else will happen, and I'll be here writing :).
And by the way, anyone who has ever ridden a really wide-backed work horse or in a really small saddle knows what I'm talking about in this chapter. Splayed legs and long rides do NOT go together. After a while, your tailbone begins to feel like its turning into a full-fledged tail and burning through your skin. Not a nice experience. No, I think not. -evil grin-
A/N #1: Well, forget camping. In fact, forget everything. Isabel had other ideas, obviously. -sigh- So here I am, with Chapter 7 just for you! And yes, I have noticed how terrible the spacing is and how hard it is to read. I'm fixing all of the chapters... it shouldn't take long save for the fact that I'm trying to find all of my errors as well, and trying to rescue my poor punctuations! I'm not used to working on WordPad... I normally use Word, but it no longer works for me, Lord knows why. I'm still working on that. -sigh again- Oh well... I feel like writing mush. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
Chapter 7: Follow Your Dreams
~*~
"Come on Era, hurry up," called a faceless voice from above, and Erashnak glanced toward the sound for a moment before quickly reverting her gaze to make sure that her next foothold was secure. The cliff wall was beginning to curve outward again, and her long fingers were too flimsy to hold her up for long if she lost her footing. She sighed at the thought, knowing that she was slowing them down. A proper orc shouldn't have to rely on her feet so much - their arms were perfectly strong enough to hold them up. But not Erashnak's. In fact, she couldn't even climb downwards unless she went backwards - feet first - or else she would fall and break her neck. And a bit more besides, at this height, she realized as she looked down.
"Stop gawking and climb, Era! I've seen you scramble up cliffs twice this height in half the time. A few more steps and you're there! Can you believe it? I never thought we'd make it. Can you feel that wind?"
"It's so c-cold," stuttered the younger version of Erashnak, her teeth chattering. Climbing light was all well and good, but she wished she'd had the sense to wear something a bit warmer than a now sleeveless tunic under her patched apprentice armor. And cold, for an orc of Moria, was very cold indeed.
"Yes, but it's worth it. You'll see. Here - one more step, come on, there! Now give me your hand."
Erashnak did as she was told, and clenched her fingers around her brother's wrist as he easily lifted her up as if she were a rag doll. She let herself drape over her skeleton as he set her down, her legs curling under her and her back hunched.
"Come on, it isn't that bad," said the older orc, his hands swallowing hers as he pulled her up. "You were the one who talked me into it, at that. Shameful, you little wood-witch."
"Hmmm," muttered Erashnak, letting her brother's long arms encircle her shoulders, grateful of the warmth he lent her. Erudak, she decided, was the only one whom she could tolerate calling her elf-names.
"Come on then," he said, tugging at a lock of her strange hair with a smile.
"Are t-those the only t-two words you k-know?" she grumbled, thinking of how sore her bare feet were going to be later. What if the Balrog woke up and found them so far away from the deep... and so close to the territory that every orc seemed to mark as his...
How could she have told him about how much she wanted to do this? How could she not realize that he would expect her to do it... This was Erudak, by the Valar! He would never let her leave a dream unfulfilled. 'Follow your dreams,' he would say when she argued, 'or they'll just go on without you.' Men!
"As a matter of fact, no. And for that, hurry up! I'm not staying up here all day. Let's go and be gone before you turn any bluer and Mother finds out that we're up here. I don't want to see that look on her face again," said Erudak, rolling his eyes as if he would make his words into a prayer if it would help.
"You're the o-one who d-dragged me up here."
"You're the one who wanted to come."
"I d-didn't mean l-literately," Erashnak stammered, blinking as she saw her breath puff out in a cloud of smoke.
"Yes," said Erudak, "breath does that all the time in the cold. You just can't see it in the deep. Isn't it strange? Like your own little cloud."
"Mmmm," mumbled Erashnak again, huddling into her brother's side.
They walked for a while, the cold, bleak light growing around them, but to Erashnak it seemed so bright that she had to shield her eyes. Erudak did as well, she noticed, and smiled. At least she wasn't different in every way.
Suddenly, and for the first time ever to the younger orc's memory, the rock was no more and gray sky filled the new void with a lofty weightlessness that sent Erashnak's mind reeling. Cold wind blasted over them, and they dropped to their knees as it almost sent them backwards. Erudak crawled to the ledge and waved for his sister to follow, a gleaming smile of his face and star-lights in his eyes, but Erashnak was hesitant, feeling so naked and exposed in the open air. She had never felt real wind before, and the sudden absence of walls made her head feel light. She didn't know what she had expected, but this wasn't it.
But, as in anything for an orc so young, curiosity won out in the end and she scrambled to her brother's side, gawking up at the last few hundred feet left of the great mountain that their unknowing home had rested under for so long. And yet, this was the first time she had ever seen it. But even in the massive presence of this mighty spear of sharp, snow mantled stone, her attentions were drawn to an even more fascinating spectacle, her eyes wide despite the biting wind as she drank in the new world around her as if she had been dying of thirst. Perhaps, in a way, she had.
The world opened up before her like a giant flower, its leaves bursting with new colors for which Erashnak had no name and its vast beauty singing in her veins as she felt her heart thump against her chest in harsh, raw, untamable excitement. The sky, ominous to those who dwelt even then under its gloom, was a bright array of endless light in the eyes of the young orc, a tiny speck beside a larger speck, kneeling on a windswept precipice of a cold and lonely mountain in the middle of a world that she had only dreamt about for so long.
'Follow your dreams,' said the soft, gentle voice in her mind, 'or they'll just go on without you.'
'What's beyond these mountains?' her mind screamed. 'And those ones, over there? And what does that forest really look like, and that lake, does it have a name? Those plains, how many days would it take to travel across them? Look, a bird, a real bird! Please, please come closer! Do you have a name, little bird?'
But then, in the distance, a glimmer of silver-bright radiance caught her eye for but a moment. The ocean? Could it be? But the light was gone as quickly as it had come, and she strained over the edge to see it again, hungry for the wonders of this new world.
"You see that," said Erudak, breaking into her reverie. "That forest there, that's called Lothlorien. There's elves live there, and a wood- witch, just like you."
"E-elves," said Erashnak, her still-chattering voice incredulous as she gawked at the wood, admiring the strange trees that she could just make out through the mist. They didn't seem to grow anywhere else, she noticed with a thoughtful frown. "I d-didn't think they w-were so c-close. Maybe I n-never t-thought they were r-real. They always s-seemed like a s-story, and n-nothing more."
"They're real alright," said Erudak in a far colder tone, slipping into his big brother voice. "And they're just that - too close. That's why we can never leave Moria, Era. Elves are nothing but murderers. Because of them we have to scrape a life off of the stones, never able to hunt, never able to go and drink clear water. Never able to see the stars."
Erashnak remained silent, crowding closer to her brother unconsciously, her knees drawn up to her chin and her pale arms wrapped around them. She felt Erudak's long arms wrap around her as well, rocking her gently back-and-forth, and she felt hot tears prick at her eyes and spill over, biting her cold cheeks as they froze at once.
'Never leave Moria?' she thought, glancing down as if expecting to see the shattered fragments of her dreams glinting at her feet in the insipid light. 'How can I follow my dreams, when all they lead to is heartache?'
~*~
Erashnak woke with a start, gasping at the breath of warm air that puffed in her face and latching on to the figure before her with a yelp as she almost slide off of the... horse... that they both sat astride. A procession of harsh shivers ran down her spine as the suddenly warmer night air all around struck against what should be raw, wind-blasted skin, now not only cold but clammy as well. But none was as warm as the breath that had awoken her.
She felt the figure before her, onto which she was now firmly latched, shake with laugher, and turned her face into a cascade of fine silver-gold hair when she tried to look at him and see just what was so amusing. And though, for a moment, she felt as if she should be concerned, she became aware of how heavy her eyelids had become once more, and how little she really cared. Giving a soft moan she shifted her weight with as little movement as she could, and slumped against his back once more.
"I'm sorry," said a voice somewhere deep inside Haldir's chest, or so it seemed to Erashnak, her ear pressed against his back, "but I had to wake you. Erashnak?"
murmuring some dim reply about wind and mountains and flowers, the orc moved to look at the elf, who nearly smiled again to see her twisted into such a strange shape even as his face was painted with concern.
"I'm sorry I had to wake you, but if you're going to sleep, you have to sit in front. This horse will not let you fall, but if you slide off she cannot stop you, nor can I."
"Do you always breath in people's faces when they are asleep," drawled Erashnak, unfolding to rest her chin on his shoulder, her head lolling to the side.
"I do when they've become deaf to the world and turn such a lovely shade of blue. Are you well?" asked Haldir, frowning as he inclined his head, trying to get enough space between their faces so that he could focus on her features.
"Mmmm," replied Erashnak, not wanting to loose the wonderful, peaceful sleep-feeling that still lingered over her like the sun-warmth of a rock, remaining even as the evening chills. "Just a dream."
At the moment, even Erashnak was too tired for elaborations.
Haldir sighed, shaking his head, and a smile played with the corners of his lips as the orc's eyes fluttered and closed yet again. He elbowed her in the stomach this time, and she gasped before groaning at him, the pitch of her voice rising to something near a whine.
"Are you awake now?"
"Yes," she mumbled, lifting her head and then thunking it back down against his shoulder in exasperation. "Yes," she repeated, and continued the sequence again. It made her dizzy, she realized with a giggle, this head-thunking thing. She grinned hysterically, her shoulders shaking as they tried to sag.
"Good," said Haldir, and before she knew quite what was happening there was nothing before her anymore, and Erashnak pitched forward, nearly banging her nose off of the horse's withers.
"You'll have to move up a bit," said the elf, his voice seeming wrong as it came from so much farther down, and she lifted herself into a sitting position to stare down at him, blinking. He lifted an eyebrow, and she glanced back at the saddle beneath her, finally catching the drift of what he was saying and scooting forward.
She clutched at the beast's mane as the saddle shifted, edging even further forward with a start as she felt the elf swing his leg over and sit down behind her. This was very uncomfortable, she realized, for in this position she would be forced to sit rigid and upright or slide even further forward and let the cantle splay her legs even more. And with the dull ache that was rising up in protest already, both the former and the latter were not an option. Her tailbone couldn't take much more of this.
"Swing your leg over the horse's neck," supplied a voice from behind her, "And it will be more comfortable for both of us. I promise not to let you fall," he added.
Erashnak glanced back at him, realizing that Haldir would be forced to reach a hand around her on either side to hold to reins, and have to lean over her to see the path before them properly. Not to mention that she would be forced to slide back against him so that he could even use said reins, and they would be so plastered together that it drove another shiver down her spine, though she did not quite know why.
But, if she took his advise, she would be completely putting herself into his care. He would be able to hold the reins with one hand, and hold her on with the other. But if he let go, she would slide off within seconds, quite possibly head-first, to great injury... death, even, she realized with widened eyes.
"I swear it," came his surprisingly tender reply. "I will not let you fall."
Her head light, Erashnak gave a slow nod, swaying where she sat. It was strange, of course, nodding at the empty space between the horse's ears, but the elf behind her seemed to get the message, a smile spreading over his lips in reply to the strange look she was giving the creature.
But such a simple theory was far more complicated than it seemed, really. The orc had to lean back to swing her leg over, and Haldir was forced to cross an arm over her collar and shoulders to keep her steady as she began to slip to the side. And once her leg was over, there came the task of finding the balance of where she needed to be sitting for the comfort of both of them. But, in the end, and not before a few bouts of laughter, Erashnak found herself half-laying, half-sitting in the elf's care, the faint smile on her lips reflecting the like on his.
The horse, now thoroughly disgruntled by their strange doings and the fact that she had been forced to stand still for nearly a quarter of an hour, lifted a foot and stamped it back down on the path with fervor.
Erashnak flinched, and then internally scolded herself for the fact that she still could not put all of her faith in the elf. But, for once, Haldir actually didn't seem to mind. Perhaps he hadn't noticed, she thought blandly, as he gathered the reins. She could feel his muscles flex as he touched his heels to the horse's sides, seeming completely oblivious to the fact that she was currently white-knuckled, her fingers in a death grip on his tunic, which would soon be very wrinkled indeed.
Breathing deeply, in out, in out, she tried to make herself get used to the horse's rolling walk once more, but Haldir soon pushed them into a trot, and Erashnak found herself burrowing her face into his shoulder. His sigh, exasperated, seemed to rumble in her ear, and she listened to it curiously. The sound faded away into silence once more, but then faintly she became aware of the fact that she could hear him breathe, which she had never thought of before, for he breathed so softly. And, even deeper in the myriad of sounds, she could hear his heartbeat, so low and steady that it began to seem as if she felt it, rather than heard it. The echoing clip- clop of the horse's hooves blending with the rhythm, and for a moment she wondered if it were not her own heartbeat she was hearing, for there was no 'beat-beat, beat-beat, beat-beat.' It was slow, firm, steady as the foundations of the earth, 'beat-beat-beat-beat-beat...' She wondered if he could hear it too.
Taking a deep breath she sighed, realizing with a sleepy smile that she had now regained Haldir's scent on her skin, and the thought felt bittersweet, for this familiarity was the only one that could be regained. But she laughed within herself to notice that Haldir was also gaining the smell of her, as well as the lingering smell of the soaps she had been washed with. According to the unspoken customs of those she had come from, they were part of each other now - family. An orc and an elf.
She opened the only eye she could, the other too pressed against him, and gazed up past the elf's face, seeming deep within his own thoughts as he gazed out ahead of them. The trees were darker blotches against the blue- black night sky, the cold lights of the stars winking as the leaves played over them. It was very late - or very early. The cool breeze, nothing near the cold of her dream, washed like silk over her face, toying with gossamer tendrils of her hair and his, refreshing and calming and soothing beyond measure. It was impossible to resist its tantalizing caress, and Erashnak turned her face upward, letting her eyelids fall closed as the night brushed against her pale skin.
The only reminder of all the heartache that her dreams had led her to thus far lay only in the strength of the elf's arm against her back, and the warmth he emanated at her side, and the dissolving rhythm of the horse's rolling gait beneath her. And, surprisingly, it didn't seem all that terrible at all.
~*~
The night wore on and the moon rose, drifting across the sky in the subtle dance of the hours like a dancer on a stage of cobalt glass. Slipping from his labyrinth of thoughts, slow as if wading through a flood, Haldir turned his face upward the gaze at it, still a slender young sickle in the sky, casting but a faint silver halo against the dark endlessness beyond.
Then he noticed a far nearer luminescence, and glanced down to see the vague reflection of the stars in Erashnak's tire-clouded eyes, seeming to gaze up from within a realm between sleep and awakening. The moon, even such a dim, slender thing as it was, set a glow to the orc's pale-dark skin, and her strange hair gleamed with a dull silver that he couldn't recall seeing there before, her near weightless form resting against him, a peaceful warmth spreading from her skin to his, and threading through his veins as if to ward off the night chill.
The ghost of a smile settled on his lips as her eyes cast to the side to meet his gaze, and he was startled to see how deep the endless wells of her eyes truly were, extended beyond the waking world into the realm near dreams. If he looked, very closely, he thought, he could see another picture besides his own reflection in them, images shimmering like water as it burst into the pool beyond a spring, full of clear, pure life.
She blinked, under his gaze, and turned into him further, stealing her eyes from his view as a vague smile spread over her lips. Unconsciously he pulled her closer, so that a whispered word, though he knew not why he was whispering, could be heard. Peace, the night seem to say. Quiet, stillness, serenity.
"You never told me what you dreamt," he said, his voice little more than a breath.
"Hmmm," came the reply, the orc's eyelids half-opening for a moment before falling shut once more.
"I do not know how you can be so tired," he smiled, shaking his head.
"I am," she said into his shoulder, and he felt the warmth of her breath like a burning brand when the night had grown so cool around them. "Blood tired, bone weary," she mumbled, shifting her weight again, but finding the task too difficult and giving up.
Sighing Haldir readjusted the way she lay in his arms for her, and caught a glimmer of her laughing eyes in reward.
"Perhaps you'll tell me, someday," he said.
"Tell you what...," her voice faded away into a content sigh.
"Your dream."
Her heavy eyelids lifted once more, for but a moment, as if to be certain that he was being serious. He gave her a gentle smile, and she returned it with the smile of one who had found peace, at last, and could not be interrupted with annoyance, surprise, or amusement.
"Perhaps," she breathed, and he watched as her grip on his tunic, already weakened, was lost completely, her hand resting over the wrinkled fabric as if trying to feel his heartbeat, or to heal him.
"Sleep well," he murmured, turning his gaze ahead of them once more.
~*~
A/N #2: Awwwwwwww.... sweet, short chapter. Erashnak's so cute when she's sleeping. Well, I don't know when my next update will be, because now we're going to try to camp out NEXT weekend. -sigh- But, no doubt, something else will happen, and I'll be here writing :).
And by the way, anyone who has ever ridden a really wide-backed work horse or in a really small saddle knows what I'm talking about in this chapter. Splayed legs and long rides do NOT go together. After a while, your tailbone begins to feel like its turning into a full-fledged tail and burning through your skin. Not a nice experience. No, I think not. -evil grin-