Disclaimer: I do not own, in any way, Rurouni Kenshin. Watsuki-sama does. I'm only borrowing his characters for a while.

Here is the story's second part… ^-^

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Chapter 6 – When I opened my eyes

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No I can't let that happen… I can't die! I have to fight. I have to…

I opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling, like I always did each morning. It wasn't like I remembered. Not it wasn't… I looked on my right and then on my left. I was definitively in an unknown place and I was alone. Why? What was I doing here? If this headache could only stop, maybe I would remember something…

Then, suddenly, I remembered. I remembered being part of the Chosu clan. I remembered my doubts about that same clan. I remembered my verbal fight with Takasugi. I remembered the battle that had followed and I remembered corpses lying in the street. I remembered the bloody smell of the scene.

Blood… It had been everywhere. I remembered my dismay as I had seen my companions die one by one. Yes, I had wanted to live, I had wanted to survive. There were still so many things I could do with my life. But… Did I really have to be the last one standing?

I closed my eyes to think about each one of my companions. They had been very brave until the end. I would always remember them as good fighters. Always.

I opened my eyes again and looked carefully at the room surrounding me. It was a small room, but it was more than decently furnished. I was lying on a futon and I was facing the shouji, but I was unable to see the window in my back.

I had no ideas about where I was and how I had ended up here. The last thing I remembered was being injured by the last man standing. So the people living here must have found me in the streets and nursed me while I recovered… But how long have I been here? A day or two? Maybe more…

Even if it was just a day, it was already too much. I had to return to the headquarters as soon as possible. They must be worrying about me over there and wondering what might have happened. Yes, I had to leave this place.

I got up, but my legs refused to support me. I fell back violently on the wooden floor. In my haste, I hadn't realized that I was horribly weak. My muscles badly ached, but my left leg and my right shoulder were the main sources of pain.

Exhausted by the effort I had made to stand up, I soon fell asleep on the floor.

***

I woke up again. I was miraculously back on my futon. It was night and someone was in my room. I tried to sit in order to see who it was, but I could only slightly raise my head from the floor. The previous effort had probably weakened me even more.

But still, it was enough to see the stranger: a middle-age woman, probably the one who had took care of me. I looked at her and smiled. She was certainly a good-hearted woman if she had taken care of a pure stranger.

"I'm sorry… Madame…?"

The older woman let out a cry of surprise and turned around as fast as she could in order to face me. I was then able to see her distinctly. Yes, she really seemed to be a good-hearted woman, but there was something more. She was looking at me with a bit of fear and apprehension. Like if she had wished I hadn't woke up…

"Miss… You're awake…"

"Yes, I am…"

The strange woman looked at me and noticed that I had, once again, made an effort to stand up. She gasped, kneeled beside me and managed to convince me to put my head back on my pillow.

"Please… miss… don't try to stand up again. You are going to aggravate your injuries. Just stay where you are and rest."

"Was I that badly injured? How long have I been here?"

The older woman gravely and slowly told me.

"You have been here for ten days. You had lost a lot of blood and you were really weak when… when you were brought… here. I feared that I might not be able to bring you back to life."

"So… I slept for the last ten days?"

"Well, you did not exactly sleep all the time. Your injuries got infected: you suffered from a strong fever and you were in a state of delirium."

I didn't like the sound of those words. I could have said anything during that time. I could have said a lot of things I shouldn't have. What did this woman exactly knew about me? And who was she?

"Where am I?"

At these words, the woman tensed.

"You need to rest, miss. This was enough information for today. Just try to go back to sleep: you are probably exhausted."

"But…"

"No but. Just rest and, please, don't try to stand up again. Your wounds healed with great difficulties and they could reopen under the effort. If you need anything, just call me. I'm in the room next to yours."

Then, the woman abruptly got up and left the room.

I was alone and I didn't know where I was. That woman had deliberately ignored my question and left the room before I could even protest. Yes, she seemed nice, but she was hiding something from me. And I would found out what…

***

The next day, I woke up early. I was waiting for that woman's return. I would get some answers.

I felt much better than I did last night, but also, I knew that if I tried to get up, I would aggravate my injuries. So, I decided to stay quietly on my futon and simply wait.

While waiting, I tried to carefully listen to every noise in the house. It might help me learn a few things about this place. And I heard a lot of noise: shoujis being opened and closed, footsteps, some morning greetings and loud voices coming from a remote part of the house.

Obviously, I was not alone with the woman. There were a lot of people, mostly men. I also figured out that I was, in fact, on the second floor of a vast building. But I didn't learn anything else.

I was lost in my thoughts when the woman suddenly came in my room. She was carrying a tray containing two bowls.

"Good morning, miss. I've brought you some things that might help you get better soon."

"Thank you. You are very kind."

"I'm just doing my job," she said, while kneeling beside me.

"And what are you exactly? An innkeeper? A nurse?" I asked, while she carefully helped me to sit.

"No, I don't have such an important job. I'm just an old maid. Yes, I'm just an old maid, but I'm wise enough to know when someone tries to make me talk more than I should… Don't try to take that offended look. I know what you were trying to do."

She then handed me a bowl of medicine that had been on her tray.

"Drink this. It will do you good."

I didn't want to drink it. In fact, I couldn't stand the smell of medicine. It reminded me the days preceding my father's death. They hadn't been happy days. But the maid was probably right: the medicine would help me get some strength back. So, I drink it without thinking twice.

"I also brought you a small bowl of rice, in case you get hungry later on. Would you mind telling me how you exactly feel this morning?"

"Well, in overall better. But my legs are weak. I don't think they would support me if I tried to stand up. My right shoulder hurts really badly each time I try to move my arm. And my muscles are still really sore."

"Your muscles are sore because you've been weakened by the lost of blood. In a few days, you will feel better. But the pain in your legs and shoulder won't disappear that easily: you have been seriously injured."

"That's what I feared to hear…"

We both remained silent for a while. I had always feared to remain crippled after a fight. I wouldn't stand being useless. I would do anything in my power to recover. Rehabilitations are sometimes slow and difficult, but I would do it. And I would succeed.

I dismissed those thoughts and looked more carefully at the maid. I knew that she was hiding things from me. But what? Something was clearly wrong and I absolutely had to learn what it was.

"Madame, I woke up here yesterday and I still don't know where I am. I don't understand why you're hiding this information from me. I thought that I was in a friendly place, but I'm starting to doubt it… Try to understand how I feel. Please, tell me everything."

I paused and waited for her answer. I had done everything I could to convince her. The good-hearted woman looked at me and shook her head.

"I know it must be hard, but no, I won't tell you. For now, you have to focus on your recovery and forget about all the rest. Too much worries come from the external world. You shouldn't pay attention to them. Only think about yourself for the time being. This is for your own good."

"So, you won't tell me anything?"

"No."

I remained silent, as I understood that she definitely wouldn't speak. I observed her carefully at her while she helped me lay down on my futon, put the bowl of medicine back on the tray and got up. All I could see was someone who could be trusted so her answer had probably been sincere. But still, there was something more behind this. Something she was hiding from me, for my own good.

"Miss… I'll be back this afternoon. I'll help you go to the bathhouse. There, I'll clean your wounds and I'll put new bandages. You'll feel much better after that. For the mean time, just try to get some sleep.

"Thank you."

Now alone, I sighed. Not too long ago, I was a respected and feared Ishinshishi's unit leader and now, I had difficulties getting information from a middle-age maid. All I had learned was that, as I feared, I might not have ended up in a place where I would have wished to end up…

***

It was early afternoon and I was lying on my futon. After the morning frenzy, everything had slowly calmed down in the house. Everything was now really peaceful and silent. But I wasn't alone: I could feel, on the other side of the wall, the maid's presence. It reassured me to know that she was there, not too far from me.

I was going to fell asleep again when I heard footsteps in the corridor. Someone was coming in this part of the house. Here was my chance to finally learn something about this place.

The footsteps stopped right in front of the maid's room and, without even announcing his presence, the newcomer opened the shouji and went into the room. At his sight, the woman gasped with fear and surprise.

"How is she?" coldly asked a man.

After a short pause, during which the maid overcomame her surprise, she did her report, almost in a murmur, in a useless attempt to prevent me from overhearing anything.

"She finally woke up yesterday, but she is still very weak. She's probably sleeping right now. In fact, she will need a few more days of rest before being able to stand up and walk without assistance. But it will probably take weeks before she starts walking perfectly normally again."

"And mentally?"

"For now she is okay. She tried to learn where she was, but I chose not to tell her, for now. It would perturb her very much... being the Ishinshishi that she is."

There was a slight pause, and then the maid started talking again.

"You look almost surprise: she talked in her sleep while she had fever. But don't worry, I won't repeat her words to anyone else: I prefer my life to gossips…"

"That's a wise choice. I particularly advise you to keep to it..."

There was another pause in their dialogue. I thought that their conversation was over but the man made a last comment before leaving.

"It's useless to lie to her about where she is. I'll talk to her."

"But, sir!"

"She's stronger than you think."

The man then left the maid's room and I expected to see him come in mine right away. But I was wrong. He simply passed his way. He would probably come back later.

One thing was sure: now, I knew where I was. That cold voice… It could only belong to one human being in the whole world…

I knew where I was and I didn't like it. The wisest thing to do was probably run away. That is probably what I would have done if I hadn't been too weak to walk and a bit too curious and eager to meat a certain Miburo.

***

I was sleeping again. I was dreaming of the happy days I had spent with my family before the Bakumatsu. In my dreams, my father was particularly present. I was remembering the tender moments we had spent together. During the last years of his life, he had picked up the habit of smoking. [1] And now, in my dreams, I could even remember the characteristic smell of the cigarettes. It was a comforting one since it was associated to my father's image.

My dream was abruptly put to an end as I realized that the smell was more than real. It wasn't just a dream. I quickly opened my eyes and I saw him: Saitou. He was there, in my room, smoking and waiting for me to wake up.

Still in a half-sleeping state, I carefully sat on my futon while staring back at him. He looked even better than in my souvenirs and my whole body was telling me that I was definitely still strongly attracted to him. But, as important subject matters had to be discussed, I tried to ignore those impulses.

I was going to say something when I remembered the maid's presence on the other side of the wall. If I could hear everything in her room, she could certainly hear everything in mine. Was it wise to talk while she was there…?

I remained, wondering what I should do, when Saitou said:

"It's okay, we can talk freely. I waited for her to get out before coming back to see you. She already knows too much…"

"Oh! I see…" He had read my mind…

I waited patiently for his reply, but it didn't come. He only smoked and stared at me. I guessed that he was waiting for me to question him.

"This is the Shinsengumi's headquarters, I suppose…?"

"Yes."

"And what am I doing here?"

"You are recovering from your injuries. I found you almost dead in the streets."

Well, that was an obvious answer… I would have to ask more precise questions.

"Why did you bring me here if you knew who I was?"

"The daughter of an Aizu official supporting the Shogun is under the protection of the Shinsengumi, Tokio Takagi."

So, he knew my true identity…

"But… excuse me, but this is a bit confusing. Even if I'm the daughter of an Aizu official, I'm also a member of the Chosu clan… Why would you bring me here? Why would you help an enemy? I need a better explanation."

Saitou now seemed to be bothered by my constant questioning. For a while, I thought that he wouldn't answer but then, he said.

"Two weeks ago, we received news from Aizu where your uncle undertook your father's position. He realized that you were missing and unsuccessfully tried to learn where you were. Worried, he contacted a lot of people, including the Shinsengumi. It was our job to find you and to make sure that you were doing all right. That is what I did."

Saitou paused and lit another cigarette before going on.

"We contacted your uncle and he suggested that you stay here until you feel better."

"But I don't want to stay here! Everyone in the Chosu clan must be waiting for my return. They must even be worried…"

"No, they're not." he shortly answered.

"What do you mean?"

Saitou sighed at these words. Obviously, he didn't enjoyed talking much and I was forcing him to do so.

"Apparently, your clan reacted badly to the fact that you are missing. A lot of people think that you simply ran away from the fight and let your unit down. Takasugi is particularly convinced of your cowardice and put a price tag on your head. What did you do to him, Takagi?"

"I… Wait, that is your entire fault! If you had simply left me in the streets, I wouldn't have been missing for ten days and they wouldn't suspect me of anything."

"I hope that you realise that if the Chosu clan had found you first, they would have been the one to nurse you. Then, they would have noticed that you were in fact a woman and that you betrayed their trust. A thing few would ever forgive… You would be dead and your uncle wouldn't have been really happy with us."

After saying that, he got up. He had finished talking. He probably thought that I knew everything that I needed to know. But so many questions were left unanswered…

"Wait! Does everyone here know that they are protecting an enemy?"

"No. Besides me, the maid and Okita, who recognized you, no one knows the truth. It should remain this way. A lot of people here would react really badly to the fact that Tokio Takagi is also known as Takeru Nakane. And that list of people includes Kondou, the head chef of this headquarters."

"So, you're saying that I'm not safe in the streets and that I'm not even really safe in this headquarters, as anyone could learn at any time that I was an Ishinshishi."

"Amazing how you catch things fast, Takagi."

***

When the maid finally came to help me go to the bathhouse, I was still thinking about what Saitou had told me. And when we slowly came back to my room, I was still thinking about it...

I was trying to decide what the wisest thing to do was.

For sure, I couldn't go back to the Ishinshishi's headquarters. After our argument, I had realised that Takasugi was really mad at me. No wonder he had put a price tag on my head that easily. I would have a hard time trying to convince him that I wasn't guilty of anything. And I couldn't even offer a good explanation for my disappearance. I couldn't simply tell them that I had spent all these days at the Shinsengumi's headquarters…

And besides, even if I could ever convince them that I hadn't ran away from the fight, I was still guilty of a much more important crime to the eyes of the Chosu clan: I had lamentably failed one of the most important missions of my young career. I had failed to protect the lives of my unit's members.

No definitely, I couldn't go back there if I wanted to live a long life. Also, I didn't really want to go back there. The Chosu clan had disappointed me very much and I didn't feel like fighting for them anymore. I didn't feel like fighting at all anymore…

So, I wouldn't go back there, but could I stay here?

By staying here, I would, in a sense, betray my clan. I couldn't go against the promises I had once made. The wisest thing to do would be to leave the enemy's headquarters immediately. But for the time being, I couldn't. I was too weak. I was stuck here.

I sighed. A strange succession of events had leaded me here. If I hadn't followed Asaki, if Saitou had not recognized me in the streets, if I hadn't took a leadership position in the Chosu organization, things would now be really different.

I would probably still be in Aizu, with my mother, and I would live the life of a perfect traditional Japanese daughter. That was not really what I had aspired in life but at least, these people cared for me. My uncle's actions had showed me that.

It was ironic to see that the people I had deserted still cared for me while the clan I had joined had disavowed me. Here, in Kyoto, everything was hostile. I would probably already been dead if it hadn't been for Saitou.

What that man had done for me was priceless. He had protected me from my clan and even from his own clan. I knew that he had good reasons to act like that. After all, the Shinsengumi couldn't afford loosing the support of an Aizu official as important as my uncle… Not with the Ishinshishi's victory being so close. But still… According to Saitou's sayings, if they knew my true identity, a lot of Miburos would be happily sacrifice this support and throw me out of here without much regards…

No, really, Saitou had done more for me than what a lot of people would have. I would like to thank him for that, but I knew that he wouldn't appreciate it. He wouldn't appreciate the fact that I realised that he may have soft spots…

The more I thought about all of this, the more what I should do became clear in my head.

I wouldn't fight anymore. I would stay here for the time being and, as soon as I would be strong enough to travel, I would go back to Aizu. People were waiting for me there. Like that, I wouldn't feel like if I had betrayed my promises to the Chosu clan. Yes, unless something unexpected stopped me, that's what I would do.

Besides, staying here a little while longer allowed me to see Saitou a bit more…

To be continued

Notes

[1] I read in the Kenshin Kaden that cigarettes have been introduced in Japan during the 6th year of the Meiji era. That means that, historically, Saitou shouldn't be smoking during the Bakumatsu and that he would have pick that habit later on in his life. I decided to, for once, forget about historical accuracy as I just can't picture a non-smoking Saitou…

To the reviewers

Special thanks to Midnight Scribbler, Kamorgana, Muemosyne, Luna, Raine, Wolf of Mibu, L. Sith, Alice, Deathblade, Leila Winters, Dragona, The Great One and SilverNimbus, who took the time to review this story. (^-^)

À la prochaine,

Mary-Ann