Author's Notes:
What do you think will happen after this tragedy? Will Rei be blamed for all these incidents? Will Aya hate Rei after this? Or worse, will Aya die? (I hope not)
Well, let's just hope that I keep Aya alive because I have plans on making Rei suffer! Make him suffer real hard! Mwahahahaha!!!
Where did that come from? What's happening to me? I think I've been infected with a virus called Megumi Skylark! Ahhhh!!!
By the way, if you want to really enjoy this, play "Dakishimetai" (the ending theme of Gals) on your player while reading this. It is a really good song and perfect to go for the mood of this chapter. If you don't have the song, you can download it on bestanime.com. And you might want to check out the lyrics on animelyrics.com… They have an English translation and it's so… so…. Perfect for Aya and Rei! (",)
Editor's / Conscience's Notes
Eh-o! First note, ever! Okay…there are some bad words here, but, well, these are teenage boys, and teenage boys do swear, especially in a fight, so …OOPS!!! Spoiler! Hehehe…Don't worry, lots of drama here…Actually, Rei and Kasuki kinda remind of Heero and Trowa (of Gundam Wing) so I kinda release my anger from the latter on the former (as if there wasn't enough) Anyway…yeah! I'm Rei's conscience! While I watch the episodes, that's the type of things I say to the dodo-head, so well…Least I'm in the story! He! Enjoy, piplets! Suffer, Rei! Mwahahahahahaha! *cough, cough*
Disclaimer:
Super Gals does not belong to me… Because if it was, I would have made a lot of changes and killed a lot of people… But I do hope it was mine so I can get Aya and Rei together! Hahaha… BTW, if the people who own Super Gals do sue me, they'll just get debt. (",)
Chapter 4: WHAT WOULD IT TAKE?
Why does this have to happen? But, this can't be happening…No…No…This…this
This is my entire fault. If only… Why did I have to go?
Gods, please don't take her yet. I don't think… I don't think I will…I can't take this…
My conscience will never leave me alone. I don't know, but God, if you're out there, don't take her yet. I can't explain it all yet, I have no idea why I'm saying this, but she can't go yet. She can't go.
What do you mean you can't explain all of it yet?
Can you just give me a minute to think?!
Oh, this won't take a minute. I'll explain it for you.
Huh?
Great, great. You'd think that a freak accident would make him realize it. You LOVE HER!
No, I don't.
Oh, yes, you do!
No, I don't.
Are you feeling helpless? Powerless? Unable to help? Not knowing what to do if she goes? Can't imagine what it would be without her? Would you give anything to make sure she lives another day to see you? Is there an ache in your chest?
How do you know all that?
Conscience.
I…I…am-
Say it.
Yes.
Yep. You love her.
But I…I…
But I what?
I'm not yet sure that's exactly what I feel for her.
That's why I'm in your head.
…
Okay, first things, first. Tell her how you feel.
But, I'm not even sure that's what I feel…
Just do it!
~~~~~~~~~~
"How is she?" Ran and Miyu asked together, as soon as the doctor came out of the operating room.
The doctor let out a tired and worried sigh. "Not so well, I'm afraid. She really took in a lot of water… She's in coma right now. The best we can do is hope and pray for the best," He explained. "Excuse me, I have to go." He nodded at them, and went away.
As the doctor disappeared, Ran and Miyu looked at each other. Tears sprang up in Miyu's eyes as she thought of her friend so near death.
"Don't worry, she will get better! I know it…" Ran reassured her.
All of them were outside Aya's room, hoping and praying that their friend would make it. Seeing Miyu's distress, Yamato gently placed his arms around her and whispered comfortingly in her ear. On the other side of the room, Tatsukichi was cheering up the once-bubbly-and-carefree Ran.
While Rei… Rei (sigh) was just sitting there. He blankly stared at the white floor tiles while he battled his sarcastic conscience.
"They will be here as soon as possible," Yuuya said after he got off the phone with Aya's parents who were currently in England for business.
A nurse emerged from Aya's room. "You may come in now. But please keep it down and call us immediately if there are any changes in her."
All of them nodded and entered the room.
Well, at least all of them except Rei who was still buried in his thoughts. Yuuya noticed Rei and went up to him.
"Aren't you going in?" Yuuya asked Rei.
Rei remained silent.
"We'll be inside." As Yuuya turned around, he looked over his shoulder and said, "You should talk to her."
Rei looked up with his usual indifferent face, and shook his head.
~~~~~~~~~~
Rei's Point of View
I can't talk to her. She won't talk to me.
She will talk to you.
No, she won't.
Yes, she will.
No. She hates me. She hates me. She hates me.
Stop wallowing in self-pity. She loves you.
She loves Kasuki.
That jerk?! Puh-leese…She just feels sorry for him, that's all.
But she's happy with him.
She'd be even happier with you.
Wha-?
Give her a chance. Talk to her.
But…
She'd want it.
She won't.
She will.
Will she? She will, I guess. I guess…
Be grateful.
For what?
After what you put her through, you're lucky she would want you to come near her again. But come to think of it she can't say that because she's in COMA right now!
Shut up!
Don't blame me! I'm just doing my job, okay?
Don't make this harder as it already is!
It's your entire fault from the start, Rei… There's no one to blame but you.
I know…
Finally, he admits it. Now, be a good boy and go inside to talk to her. Here's your chance to make up for all the wrong things you did to her.
Talking to her won't change what just happened.
I know you can't change the past. But you certainly can change the future.
The future, huh?
What are you waiting for, loverboy?
~~~~~~~~~~
The silence was deafening. The room was filled with an air of despair, the kind that was always present in funerals. The kind that many people hate to breathe in.
Ran slowly approached the bed, and held Aya's cold hand. "Hey there, girl. Hold on, okay? Don't go. This world is not ready to let you go. We're not ready."
"Aya…-" Miyu stared at Aya's motionless body. The tears that threatened to spill had become to flow freely down her cheeks. Yamato took Miyu out of the room to console her.
Rei saw Yamato supporting Miyu out of the room. He saw them go at the end of the hall, and disappear.
~~~~~~~~~~
Rei's Point of View
See what happens when you go in there?
And whose fault is this?
Mine.
Exactly my point.
~~~~~~~~~~
It was not too long before all of Aya's friends left her hospital room. They all faced each other, all their faces mirroring the same emotions – grief, loss, and pain. And in Rei's case, heartache – although he did not know this yet.
Night had fallen when everyone decided to go and try to eat.
Rei was left sitting on the bench facing the door. He kept his face buried in his hands, oblivious to all the noise in the hospital.
"Otohata?" A voice came out from nowhere, awakening him from his inner battle.
He looked up, and saw one of the last people he wanted to see. Kasuki Katase.
Rei glared at him, and looked at the floor again.
"Have you seen her?" The other boy's voice was a chill breeze, slicing through the air like a knife driven into ice.
Silence.
"Did you go in?"
"…"
"Do you know how she looks like?"
"Hn."
It happened quickly. Rei felt himself being pulled up by his collar and being pushed against the wall. He looked up to gaze into hard green orbs, flickering with hatred and pain.
"Have you? Did you see her?" His voice had now become a flaring fire, all the fury and anger pouring out with every syllable spoken. "Answer me, Rei."
Rei looked down and gave him a cold stare. "No."
Katase pushed him harder. "Why?"
"Why should you care?"
"You're right, I don't give a damn about you. I care for Aya. I love her, and I can't stand to see the one I love in pain!" The fire was blazing in Kasuki's eyes.
'He – He LOVES her? Her? Aya? My Aya?! My AYA! She's mine! He loves Aya? Fuck him!' Rei felt hot flame lick his insides as he thought of Kasuki and Aya - together. His temper was bubbling under the surface ever since Ran glared at him, and now the hot blaze was threatening to go over. The two of them-… Well, not in this lifetime.
Rei struggled against Kasuki, and fought against his grip. He pushed the man off him and walked in front of Aya's door, facing him.
Kasuki was not daunted by the hardness of the blue eyes. "And you, Otohata- " He continued, "You – It's because of you she's in agony! The reason why she is suffering! How can you stand it? How can you bear the guilt of it all?! Are you that much of a robot?"
Rei glared. 'Robot? Me? I'll show you.' He gave the green-eyed boy a look that could kill.
"Well, can you?!" Kasuki's voice echoed throughout the hall.
Silence.
The thin thread of his patience had finally snapped, and Kasuki took slow, menacing steps toward the source of his anger. His usually gentle voice had lowered into a threatening and dangerous tone.
He said slowly, venom and spite dripping. "Rei – you, you, you bastard! Can't you feel anything? Can't you try to feel what others are going through? What her friends are feeling?!" His voice became louder. "Can't you see that she loves you?! She loves you! She'll be waiting for you, waiting and waiting until you finally see your mistake!"
The blue-eyed boy stood his ground, unfazed by the approaching boy.
"Rei, how can you not see it? How can you just brush away her feelings as if she was an annoying fly buzzing around you? How…how…can you live, Rei? How do you live with your conscience?"
"Leave my conscience out of this." Rei answered softly. 'It's already done more than enough.'
Kasuki sneered. "Since when does a robot have a conscience?"
"Since when do smartass pretty boys like you care about other people?" Rei shot back.
"YOU DON'T GET IT!! YOU JUST DON'T GET IT! AYA STILL WANTS YOU BACK! AFTER ALL YOU DID, SHE STILL WANTS YOU!" The harsh words resonated along the walls.
"You have no business lecturing me about what I've done."
"DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'VE DONE?! Can you try to imagine the hell you made Aya go through? Well, let me enumerate them for you: first, rejection. You rejected her right after you found out that she loved you. Cold. Then there was the time you made her realized that all you felt was pity. Harsh. Oh, and remember? You left her in the rain, knowing she would get sick. Cruel. And let's not forget today's incident, you just left her there to die!" Every accusation stung hard at Rei, every arrow finding its mark.
Blue steel flashed against cold emerald.
"Sound familiar, Rei?"
"That's enough!" Witout warning, Rei's fist connected with Kasuki's jaw, and sent him flying in the opposite direction. The force pushed the other boy against the wall, and he let out a cry of pain. He doubled over, and rubbed the aching chin.
Rei was seething. That jerk had no right to point the finger at him. He had no right. How dare he…How dare he think that he, Rei Otohata would want to watch people die? Who would delight in the sadness of others? Who wouldn't regret the death of a friend? HELL NO!
Katase stopped coughing and looked up at him. "I should be asking you that."
"I said enough!" But before Rei could hit Katase again, a voice called out, "Stop! Stop it!"
Both of them looked up. It was Ran. She was standing at the end of the corridor, looking dumbstruck. All the others were there too, afraid and shocked of the entire situation.
Yuuya tried to move close to Rei. "Rei, you don't have to do this-"
"STAY OUT OF IT!" All of them backed off. Rei meant business.
"Since you won't come to your senses, let me do that for you!" Before Rei could react, Katase rammed his fist into his stomach.
Rei wheezed, and breathed heavily. He gave Katase blow after blow, all his anger pouring out with every attack.
A nurse rounded the corner, and saw the two boys fighting with each other. She rushed in to stop them, when a hand on her shoulder pulled her back. She looked up and saw the doctor.
"Doctor," She pleaded. "We have to stop them."
He shook his head. "They have to work this out by themselves. If they don't, they'll end up in much worse shape. They need to let it all out."
"But what if they get seriously hurt?"
The doctor smiled. "Well, this is a hospital after all."
After what seemed an age of fighting, Miyu looked up from Yamato's chest. She saw the two boys standing still, Rei holding his stomach, and Katase trying to stop his bleeding nose.
Katase looked up, the green flame not yet extinguished. "Do you understand now, Rei?"
Rei looked up, and glared. "Understand what, Katase?"
"You disappointed me, Rei."
Silence.
"I thought that after all this fighting, you'd find out. I hate you. I hate you. Do you think I just dislike you? No. Dislike is an understatement." Katase stopped, and coughed up blood. "I remember thinking that we can be friends. We can at least know each other. But as I watched you hurt Aya, break her heart over and over again, I knew there was no chance I'd ever forgive you. Never. I hate you."
"The feeling's mutual."
"This was the last straw." Katase slowly advanced. "I've had enough. This time, I'd make you-"
Rei wasn't listening. His attention was focused on Aya's door. He could've sworn that he heard someone call his name. He was about to dismiss it as his conscience calling him, when he heard it again.
"Rei…"
"Rei…Where are you?"
"I…I..need you…Rei, please…"
"Aya?"
Rei took a small step toward the door, and then turned to face Katase.
"She's calling for me…" He murmured, refusing to believe it.
Katase knew Aya loved Rei. He wasn't blind. He saw her eyes following him whenever he passed by. He read the poems. He knew whom she dreamt about night after night. He saw the blushes, he heard the sighs.
It was hard, earning her friendship. She had just been scarred by Rei, what more if another guy would harm her? But with every step, Katase began to hope that Aya would eventually forget him, and move on. Every time they went out to eat, hang out, and talk, Katase felt that heaven was rewarding him for helping her out. Dreams do come true, he guessed. He wished that she would love again. Love another…like him.
He was wrong.
When he was studying with her, he left to get some food. When he came back, he saw that she had fallen asleep. Katase reached out to nudge her awake, when she spoke.
"Rei…Hello…I missed you so…Please, Rei…I love you…Don't leave again."
He realized something.
She still loved him.
And as Rei stood before him, Katase had another painful realization. It stung him, it nipped at his heart, but the truth is not easily swayed. Rei may never admit it, but those blue eyes do not lie. The glittering crystal blue depths cannot lie.
He loved her too.
'Defeat. So this is how it feels. To lose to someone. To lose what may be the most valuable prize I've never known. And I lost to him. Him…Funny.' Katase let out a small laugh.
Rei looked up, and saw Katase laughing. He glared. "What are you laughing at?"
Katase looked at him, and smiled. "I lost."
"We're not yet done."
"I lose, Rei. I lose this fight. Come to think of it, I've lost everything."
"Liar."
This made Katase laugh out loud. "Liar…Yeah, that's what I am. I lied to Aya, I lied to you, I lied even to myself. To think I thought I had a chance. No way. Fool."
Rei was confused. One minute, Katase hated him, now he was acting as if he was feeling sorry for himself. "Katase, what is-"
"Nothing, Rei. Fool's gold. Fool's hope." Katase moved slowly forward, and placed a hand on Rei's shoulder. "I'm sorry. Please take care of her."
He turned on his heel and started to walk away. Rei called out, "Katase, why?"
The boy turned around and smiled. "I'm not good at fighting a losing battle, Rei."
With a few steps, he disappeared around a corner.
~~~~~~~~~~
Then all of Katase's words repeated in his head.
'She still wants you back after what you did to her'
'The cause of all these'
'Left her in the rain'
'Coldness and cruelty to her'
'She still wants you'
They played over and over in his head, like a broken record- the endless music of guilt, the incessant pounding of words and words and words.
"REI!"
'Go talk to her.'
Rei looked up. She was calling for him. She wanted him. She needed him. 'Aya, I'm coming.'
~~~~~~~~~~
The door opened slowly, and creaked eerily. Rei little by little stuck his head inside her room. He took a small step in, and looked around.
It was a small room, with a window on the right wall. Moonlight streamed in through the glass, and shone on the small bed in the middle of the room.
Machines surrounded the bed. The green lines, red dots, and moving waves did not comfort him.
He moved closer to the bed.
Aya stirred, as if she knew someone was here to see her. She frowned, and whimpered softly. A tear fell out of her eye. "Rei…"
'She really is calling me. Me. Me. The one who put her here.' No one ever called out to him before. He wasn't exactly the type to comfort others. 'She still wants me. Katase was right.'
He went closer to her bed and stood at the side. There was a chair near the window, and he pulled it to him so he can sit near the bed. He gazed down at Aya.
'I've never seen her like this. So weak, so fragile, it's as if she could break if I hold her. Aya, I'm so sorry.' Rei thought. Suddenly she cried out, in pain. He quickly grabbed her hand, tracing small circles on the back of it. "Aya…don't cry…"
The tears stopped, and she turned her head to face him. It was as if she was awake and somehow knew that he was there right next to her. But Rei knew that she was still in a coma.
He didn't let go.
~~~~~~~~~~
Rei's Point of View
I don't want to let go. She's having a nightmare. I can't leave her alone.
What took you so long?
Damn. She's so soft. Her hand is so small and delicate. I never knew she felt like this. I can't let go, ever.
You never knew, or never cared?
Never cared, conscience. I never cared.
Now, we're getting somewhere.
Conscience?
Yes?
I love her.
Good for you, Rei. Good for you.
~~~~~~~~~~
Rei stared at Aya's face. The moonlight illuminated it, and gave it an ethereal glow.
~~~~~~~~~~
Wow.
What took me so long?
How could I've been so stupid?! So foolish!
She's so beautiful. She's perfect.
Angelic… like an angel sent from heaven… Heaven… Where good souls go when they leave this cruel earth.
Aya was, no, is a good soul. She is not going to heaven. Not yet.
God, don't take her yet. Please. I need her. Would you take away someone I've just realized that I love?
~~~~~~~~~~
Rei stared at her. He didn't know what to say. Where should he start? At first, he didn't had no idea what he should say, but as he started talking, he couldn't stop the flow of the words.
"Aya…Aya…Can you hear me? It's me, Rei. Well, um, you were calling for me, and since, since – Katase told me to go to you, so…"
"I'm sorry! Shit, am I sorry! I didn't know what got into me! I just left you there, even after Ran told to stick together. And I let you drown! I almost let you die!
Gods, Aya, you have no idea how guilty I am.
Before I came in here, I saw Katase. Katase enumerated my sins. Yes, they are my sins. They are sins because I committed them against an angel. You're an angel. I'm just a God-forsaken foolish mortal that you took pity on.
I didn't pity you. It was more of you pitied me.
Yeah, go on and laugh, Aya. Did I ever say how beautiful your laugh is? It's like the tinkle of little bells, the soft waves brushing on the sand, and a gentle breeze through a dark and empty wood. I want to hear your laugh again.
But instead of making you laugh, I made you cry. I made you cry a lot of times. Come to think of it, it seemed as if you cried every time we were together. Do you think I'm exaggerating, Aya? Well, you didn't shed tears, but I saw them in your eyes. Your eyes were crying.
Man, am I the world's biggest fool or what?
I left you alone so many times. I turned my back on you. I'd never forget that day I left you in the rain. I could still hear you even when I was at home. I saw your tears on my bed, on the walls, on the floor, everywhere. I was a jerk, Aya. A big jerk.
Hey, I just heard something. Or was it just me? Well, guess what, I heard you. I heard you saying – 'You're not a jerk, Rei. Not you.' That's just like you. Sympathetic, kind, gentle – everything I'm not. Well, I am, Aya. I am.
I let you do all the work. You tried solving our problems, you carried the world on your shoulders. But, Aya, that's why they're OUR problems. They're OUR problems to solve – together. I may be cold, Aya, but I'm not a robot. I can feel.
You know something?
When someone told me about you and Katase, you're going to laugh harder at this, I… I…what the hell, I GOT JEALOUS. Yes. Jealous. Green with envy. Envious. Whatever. I hated seeing you with him, watching you laugh and smile for him, look at you sitting side by side, walking so near to each other, him putting his arm around you – it drove me crazy.
Yeah. I know. I was really obvious.
Bottom line, Aya. I wanted to be with you. I wanted you to be with me, not with Katase."
Rei paused for breath. He was slowly massaging Aya's hand, which seemed to relax him. He brushed the hair off her face with his free hand, and stroked the soft blue locks.
He glanced at his watch. 11:23. He swallowed, and continued talking.
"But now I know better…
Have you ever heard my conscience, Aya?
No, of course you haven't. It's a conscience, after all. No one else is supposed to hear it. How stupid of me.
Yet, it feels as if it were a friend, a person standing next to me, whispering in my ear, telling me what to do. And you know what, Aya? It's right. It's always is.
Without it, I have absolutely no idea where I would be. Definitely not here.
Thanks to it – yes, I admit it, I am grateful for my conscience, I finally realized something.
I can't live without you.
Sheesh, I sound like an old movie.
But… it's the truth.
It took me so long to appreciate all the love you've given to me, even after I told you that I can never love you. This makes me truly believe that you're an angel, an angel that I do not, and will never deserve.
You're too good for me, Aya.
Finally, I just want to say, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Aya.
Please forgive me. Please. My angel, will you ever forgive me?
I know now that I can't change what I have done to you before but I certainly can change the future… And I want my future to be you…
Aya, if you're awake, please, please, angel, hear me out –"
Rei leaned closer and kissed Aya tenderly on the forehead. He laid his head down beside her hand in exhaustion.
"You know what I feel for you?" he said rather sleepily.
"I love you…Aya…my angel…" and a tear slid down his cheek as he fell asleep still holding Aya's hand.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Author's Notes:
Whew! Chapter 4 is done! (",) This actually came out real good, thanks to my editor. While I was rereading it for some final touches, it made me cry… Really… (sniff)
So what do you think? Please write your comments in the reviews! Please?… (",)
What do you think will happen? Too bad that Aya was in a coma when Rei finally said it… Hahaha… What will happen when Rei opens his eyes again? Will he be the first to know that Aya is dead? Hmmm…
Or maybe I'll just end it here. Hehehe… (",)
Thanks always to Meg!!!
Review please and thank you for all those who have reviewed! (",)
Editor's Notes:
Sorry, Rei…Too late…Aya is dead…THIS IS THE END!!!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Got you!
NO WAY AM I ENDING IT HERE! Even if Cammie says that this is it, I'm gonna boink her on the head, and make her write another chapter for me to edit! I've read other fics like this that ended in a really, really, really, really bad part. (*ehem, ehem* The other fics out there…which have not been updated for an eon…HELLO?!)
TO THOSE WHO READ BUT DON'T REVIEW – I KNOW YOU'RE OUT THERE! BECAUSE I'M ONE OF THEM!!!! YAY! (I'M PROUD! *tenkyu, tenkyu*)
(*ehem, ehem*) MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! FAREWELL, MINIONS!!!
~~~Cammie, whaddya tink?