I look at you all see the love there that's sleeping
While my guitar gently weeps.
I look at the floor and I see it needs sweeping
Still my guitar gently weeps.
I don't know why nobody told you
How to unfold your love,
I don't know how someone controlled you
They bought and sold you.
I look at the world and I notice it's turning
While my guitar gently weeps.
With every mistake we must surely be learning,
Still my guitar gently weeps.
I don't know how you were diverted
You were perverted too.
I don't know how you were inverted
No-one altered you.
I look at you all see the love there that's sleeping,
While my guitar gently weeps.
I then look at you all,
Still my guitar gently weeps.
Somehow, Lily and James found their way back to the common room though a blur of tears. They now found themselves surrounded by their friends' somber faces with unopened presents strewn around the common room floor forgotten. Lily was holding James's hand with no intention of letting go until he pulled away. She looked at him just staring at his pile of presents, particularly those from his parents. She wanted to cry again, to grieve with her best friend; she couldn't imagine the kind of pain he was going though. Her mind kept going back to her dream; did she really see the death of his parents? She needed to talk to Professor Dumbledore about this, but later. Now, James needed her.
Suddenly James smiled, bringing a tiny twinkle into his eyes, not nearly as big a twinkle as before but it was a start. He looked around at his friends, noticing their sad looks. He saw tear trains on the faces of Remus, Peter and Sirius. His parents had been like surrogate parents to them. He smiled sadly at them. Belle was huddled in front of the fire with tears still streaming down her face. She was obviously scared, and for good reason. His gaze turned to Lily, his Lily and he squeezed her hand making her look up at him. Her beautiful green eyes were rimmed in red; she cried almost as much as James had, feeling the pain the felt. He smiled at her and she smiled back, as warmly as she could. Letting his eyes graze over the entire room, he felt strangely at peace. He still grieved, and probably would for many months, if not years. He missed his parents terribly and always would. But he knew he would be okay, he was surrounded by people who cared about him and wouldn't let him go through this alone; he was thankful for that. Smiling wider, he did something that surprised everyone…
"Well? Is it Christmas or not? Look at all these presents! Why are you all staring at me like that? Let's get to opening!" James smiled at the reactions of his friends, at their faces full of shock.
"James, are you sure?" Sirius began, "I mean we can wait until tomorrow or whenever you feel up to it" Sirius frowned, wondering if his friend was feeling ill.
"But tomorrow it won't be Christmas!" His smile softened "Besides, I'm okay, or at least I will be, I have you guys". He squeezed Lily's hand again "And I don't think my parents would want me to mope about, especially on a Holiday they treasured". He paused seeing his friend's faces light up, even Belle's; she turned from the fire and smiled, "So what do you say? Lets get these presents opened!" With those words the group practically dived into the pile of presents and hastily opened with words of exclamation and praise when they got something they liked and comments like "well this is….interesting" when it was something they didn't like. Eventually they were finished opening presents and all smiling at each other despite the hovering sadness that still lingered in the room, and were happy.
Later that evening they were sitting in the Great Hall enjoying the Christmas Feast with those who did not go home for Christmas. James still looked sad, but he tried his best to keep a positive face. After the feast, they got up to go to the common room but were stopped by Professor McGonagall.
"Miss Evans" she said, not as sharply as usual "Professor Dumbledore would like a word with you, if you would be so kind as to come with me to his office." She said with a hand gesture
"Of course professor" Lily said timidly "what's this about?"
"That is between you and Professor Dumbledore I'm afraid." Turning to James, a sad expression came over her face "I'm terribly sorry for you loss Mr. Potter, Professor Dumbledore wished to convey his deepest condolences and wishes that you visit him sometime soon to have a chat."
"Thank you professor" James said solemnly "I will do that"
"Very well, Come along Lily" Professor McGonagall gave one last smile to James and walked towards Dumbledore's office fully expecting Lily to follow. Eventually they stopped in front of a stone gargoyle. McGonagall said "chocolate frogs" and the gargoyle moved aside allowing access into the office. "Up you go Miss Evans, Professor Dumbledore awaits you." She said and briskly walked away.
Lily cautiously walked up the stairs leading to the office, not really knowing what to expect. When she entered it, her mind flew from thoughts of what fun and interesting things she would find in the office to the man sitting in a chair in front of the desk. Her mouth dropped open as she laid eyes on her father. He had a long cut trailing from his forehead to the middle of his cheek. She looked to Dumbledore who had a grave expression on his face; his eyes were anything but twinkling. She didn't know what to think or what to say so she just stood there.
"Ahh, Miss Evans, how kind of you to join us" Professor Dumbledore graciously said.
This broke Lily out of her stupor, "D...Daddy?" she stammered "What happened? Are you okay? Mom? Petunia? Why are you here?" Words gushed uncontrollably out of her mouth
"Oh princess" he said with tears in his eyes, "Maybe Dumbledore should explain, I don't have the heart." He patted the seat next to him and she sat down beside him, her eyes wide with wonder.
"Yes, that may be for the best" Professor Dumbledore smiled slightly at Lily, "I understand you've been helping young James Potter cope with his family's death?" When she nodded his smile widened slightly, but yet his eyes grew sadder. "It's good that he has a friend such as you."
"I'm sorry professor" Lily interrupted, "But is this about James? And why does Daddy have that horrid gash on his face! What is going on?" Lily was starting to get hysterical; she bit her lip to keep from bursting out into tears.
The professor's face grew grave again. "Miss Evans, Lily, along with the attack on the Potter family, several other families were attacked as well. I suppose they thought attacking on Christmas Eve would hurt the most."
"They? They who?" Lily cried out. She looked at her father and noticed a single tear escaping his bright green eyes; he laid a comforting hand on his daughters shoulder
"It's alright Lily, just listen to the professor" Lily looked at her father with unshed tears in her eyes and nodded simply.
"As I was saying, the man who did this is known as Lord Voldemort, we don't really know the reason why he attacked most of the families. His intentions are unclear as of yet." He paused watching the blood drain out of Lily's face, "Lily, your family was one of those attacked last night, but somehow they were lucky and escaped with only a few minor cuts and bruises along with large emotional scars." He paused again to the now forming tears in Lily's eyes as she clutched her father's hand for support. "One thing that is clear is that you and Mr. Potter must be protected."
Lily gave him a confused look "I don't understand professor"
Professor Dumbledore gave her an understanding look. This was going to be hard to say, he knew how much Lily and James cared for each other. He sighed and continued "Lily, for some unknown reason you and Mr. Potter are targets of Lord Voldemort. To keep James safe he will stay in the protection of witches or wizards at all times. Over breaks and holiday's he will stay with the Black family, Mr. and Mrs. Black are both Aurors and are fully capable of protecting him." He paused and swallowed hard. Lily's father squeezed her shoulder and she knew something bad was coming, "In order to protect you, you are being transferred to Salem School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. You will adopt an entirely new identity, and change your appearance. You will even have a new name. Although Salem is located in Massachusetts, your house will be in Missouri and you will floo to and from school."
At this point Lily did burst into tears "Why! I don't understand! Why can't I stay here?" Lily said though sobs "I don't want to leave!" She looked at her father surprised to see tears on his cheeks and she cried out to him "Please Daddy, don't make me leave! I don't' want to leave!"
"I'm so sorry sweetie, but it's for the best, besides we won't be moving until the end of your school year so you'll have plenty of time to say goodbye to your friends." This just made Lily cry harder, say goodbye to her friends? She could never in a million years say goodbye to her friends.
She looked up through her tears at Professor Dumbledore's sympathetic face. "Is that all professor" she said quietly
"Yes Miss Evans, you may go."
Lily got up, gave one last look to her father and slowly made her way to the Gryffindor common room trying to dry her tears. She knew she couldn't tell them just yet, James didn't need that kind of pain right now. She kept her eyes on the floor, her friends; she'd never see them again! This was her home, her heritage. Go to America? What were they thinking? France would have been better or even Russia, she could at least see her friends occasionally then. As she got to the common room, she realized she was humming to herself "Here Comes the Sun" like she sang to James. How would she cope without him? She was scared.
Soon it was May and school would be ending soon. Lily still hadn't told her friends she was leaving. She sat on the windowsill in the common room gazing at the spring flowers and the leafy trees. James was much better than he had been. He accepted his parent's death and was able to move on somewhat with the help of her friends. Lily knew she had to tell them she was going soon. They only had a few more weeks of school left. She decided that today was the day she would tell them.
She looked at her friends; Peter and Belle were working on a potions assignment while James, Remus and Sirius were working on their transfiguration essay, Lily's own essay lay forgotten on her lap. She sighed, now was the time. "Guys" she said softly, but still everyone heard her and looked at her expectantly. "I have something important to tell you" Pain flashed across her face and her eyes welled with tears. She loved her friends so much!
"What is it Lily? It's okay you can tell us anything" Remus said reassuringly.
Gathering what courage she had, she choked down her tears "I'm leaving guys; once school is over I'm leaving"
"Of course you are Lily! We all are! But we'll see each other next term, or maybe of the summer! What's the big deal?" Sirius said with a wide grin. James stayed silent, he knew there was more.
Lily couldn't hold it in anymore, tears slipped down her face to the surprise to all of her friends. "That's just it Sirius, I won't be coming back in the fall. My…my family is moving to America and I have to transfer to a school there" She managed to get it all and broke down into large sobs.
"What? Lily leave? She can't! We need her!" Peter exclaimed
"This is a joke, right lily? Please?" Sirius said biting his lip
"Lily" was all Belle said before she broke down into tears of her own
"We'll see you again Lily, don't worry" Remus said positively, but with worry in his eyes. Lily looked toward James; he just stared at her with a blank expression on his face then got up and walked out of the common room making Lily cry even harder.
The weeks passed far to fast for anyone's taste and soon exams were over and everyone was getting ready to leave for home. James had been strangely distant; he hardly spoke to Lily. It was only a few hours before they were to board the Hogwarts express, Lily for the last time. She and Belle cried as they packed and randomly stopped to hug one another.
"We'll keep in touch right Lily?" Belle asked with a hopeful look
"Of course we will Belle! I'll write you all the time and you better write and tell me about how the boys are doing" She choked down another sob, and turned as she heard a knock at her door. "Come in" she said as she wiped away more tears. To her surprise James stood in the doorway with a pained look on his face. Belle smiled at Lily and walked out of the room shutting the door behind her.
"I'm so sorry Lily" James said suddenly "I though, I thought that if I distanced myself from you it would make it easier but it isn't. I'm so scared Lily that I'll never see you again. But, but I think I will, I think you'll come back here and and I'll be waiting. You know how at lunch we always sit in the same places? Well I won't let anyone sit in your place except you. That way even if you don't come back, no one will ever be able to replace you." James gushed with his eyes downcast.
Lily couldn't help it; she crossed the room to where he was standing and have him the hug of a lifetime "Oh James! I'm going to miss you so much! I don't know what I'm going to do!" She began to cry into his shirt as he awkwardly patted her back.
"I have something for you Lily; he broke apart from her and pulled a box out of his pocket "I wanted you to have something to remember us by". He smiled sadly and handed the small box to Lily
Lily opened it and gasped in surprise "James! It's beautiful" Inside was a beautiful heart-shaped locket about the size of an American silver dollar.
"Open it" James whispered. Lily did, and a smile crossed her lips through her tears. Inside were two small pictures. On one side was a picture of Lily and James and on the other side were the rest of the gang. They were all moving around, like they had been playing. Sometimes the girls were tickled and then the boys were kicked in return. James smiled "Do you like it?"
"Like it? I love it! It's the most thoughtful, beautiful, wonderful gift I've ever gotten, I'll never take it off, I promise." She smiled at James though her tears and hugged him one last time. She would never forget this moment for the rest of her life.
Eventually it was time to go, everyone said their good-byes to Lily, and even Sirius was slightly tearful. But it was time and she left. On the plane ride over to America she fingered the perfect gold locket and looked towards the sunrise softly humming to herself "Here Comes the Sun". She made a vow to herself to somehow, sometime come back to England despite whatever danger she might be in. England was her home, she would return someday.
A/N Well I'm totally stupid and realized the reason why I wasn't getting reviews before last update was because I forgot to put that it was a L/J fic and just had it under general. I'm such a blond sometimes hehe. This has been the longest chapter so far, and now the major changes start to happen…after this one anyway. Lily will no longer be a child after this and the rest of the story can go on. So look forward to the next installment. :)
Thanks to all my reviewers!! It really made me happy! I'd list you all out, but I honestly don't have time. I'm supposed to be leaving soon to go home for the weekend. So I'll do it next time. Have a good weekend everyone!
Disclaimers: JK owns all Harry Potter stuff that you recognize
The song at the beginning "While My Guitar Gently Weeps" is as usual written by the Beatles (by John I believe) anyone noticing a pattern here :)