AN: The survivors, Vola and Nicha & Flynn are my own creation, everything else belongs to Lucasfilm...

From Scratch
Chapter 19



They were unable to travel for most of that morning while Flynn fashioned a travois to carry Nicha. Jacen pitched in, while Tenel Ka and Vola took turns keeping watch. It was noon before Nicha regained consciousness, her eyes having swollen shut from Tenel Ka's kick, swollen and deep purple, Flynn wondered if she could see anything at all. "Nicha?"

She turned her head towards him. "Flynn?" her voice had gone from husky to choked and she was obviously having trouble speaking.

Flynn placed a hand on her shoulder, keeping her still. "Relax, I'm here. We're taking you to the Elders, Nicha."

"What?" she moaned softly, "Why?"

"You don't remember?"

"Remember what?"

Jacen knelt next to her, "Nicha?"

She flinched. "Who's that? Flynn? Who's there with you?"

Flynn and Jacen exchanged looks. Tenel Ka's foot had obviously given her a concussion. Jacen placed a hand on her arm, "It's Jacen Solo, Nicha."

She groaned, turning her face away. "Why would a New Republic hero be in the undercity? My baby? Where's my baby! Flynn?"

Flynn looked at Jacen helplessly and Jacen stretched out to the Force, soothing the distraught woman and sending her quickly into a deep slumber. She had a concussion, so it probably wasn't wise, but explaining everything to her would be difficult. Jacen looked at Flynn questioningly. "She's married?"

"She was," he acknowledged. "She lost her husband to a Yuuzhan Vong patrol about three years ago. She found out she was pregnant two months later. It was born still born."

Jacen looked down at the young woman's face. She couldn't be very old, no older than Tenel Ka, yet she'd already been married. She'd already been with child. His gaze traveled to where Tenel Ka stood on guard duty. Guard duty. He looked around, frowning. "Where'd Vola go?"

Flynn nodded to the curtain that was drawn on the pool. "She's taking a bath. She didn't get the chance to last night."

"Ah." Jacen frowned, looking down at the woman on the makeshift pallet, "If you don't mind me asking, why do you travel with Vola if Nicha lost her husband to the Yuuzhan Vong?"

Flynn tied another of the straps to the main handled of the travois, smiling. "I don't mind. Vola's different than others of her race, but she has the same thought patterns. She's got a good eye for details that we'd otherwise miss. That, and Vola is the one Yuuzhan Vong in our group Nicha isn't openly hostile to. She's... different."

Jacen nodded thoughtfully. "That she is. So how about you Flynn, attached to anybody?"

Flynn chuckled. "Hardly, man. Vola's still underage."

Jacen blinked. "Say that again?"

Flynn smirked. "You heard me. When Vola turns the proper age next year I have every intention of asking her. That is, unless you plan on letting Tenel Ka go."

Jacen grinned. "She'd mangle you. Keep dreaming."

"So is it true you're resisting her because of your own code?"

Jacen grimaced, settling himself on the ground, his gaze drawn to his fiancée across the room. Resisting her? He'd stopped resisting her, now he was simply denying himself. And it was distinctly uncomfortable. "Yeah, you could say that."

"Why? I mean, what drives a man to resist a very tempting, willing young woman?"

"Honor." Jacen replied without pause. "Honor, Flynn. There's more between us than this physical attraction."

Flynn laughed. "Man, it's gone way beyond attraction. You should see the heat coming off you two; I could cook dinner and burn it. Seriously, Jacen, sooner or later one of you is going to give, just snap, under the pressure. Why don't you do yourselves a favor and stop fighting it?"

"I can't."

"Why not? She wouldn't fight you would she?"

"That's not the point, Flynn." Jacen looked at the other man pointedly, "I'd hate myself for it later."

Flynn shrugged. "Well, whatever, but seriously, the tension between you two is insane. You guys are crazy to resist."

Jacen didn't bother to answer him as he looked back across the room, his eyes taking in the straightness of Tenel Ka's spine. The curve of her jaw. The swell of her hips under her armor. They made a full circuit, lingering on her long, tanned legs. Legs that drove him to distraction. As if sensing his observation, she turned her head to look at him and their eyes met. He saw confusion in her gaze. Confusion and need. He felt the grip on his control slip just a little more as she beckoned him closer. His mouth went dry and he shook his head, "If you'll excuse me, Flynn."

"Go for it, man."

Jacen barely heard the other man's comment as he walked straight across the room and stopped shy of her. "Something you need?"

She lifted her hair, revealing two ties in the back of her armor that had come loose. "It is not snug and I cannot reach."

Jacen eyed the creamy skin under the tight armor, the gap giving him a decent view of her lower back. He swallowed hard, noting that the buckles had escaped their clips. "I... I really don't think I should."

"Please?" she asked, tilting her head at him.

A bad idea. A very bad idea. His control was in tatters, barely hanging on by a thread. He swallowed again before reaching out. His hands shook. He dropped them back to his sides. It was just her back for Force sake, nothing wrong with touching her back. Except her could still feel the smooth skin imprinted on his finger tips, the muscles flexing under his hand. Forcing his hands to cooperate, he quickly slid the buckles back into place so she could easily pull them tight and stepped back. His breathing was ragged, as if he'd kissed her instead of simply tied some buckles.

She turned back to him, pulling the ties tight. "Thank you."

His gaze was drawn to flexible armor molding tightly around the trim muscles of her stomach, making her appear even more slender than she already was. He couldn't breathe. He took a step back, "Tenel Ka, I..." he held up his hands as if to ward her off before he turned and ran across the room, back to the room where they'd spent the night.

She watched him go, puzzled as he blockaded the door behind him. He was acting so strangely; asking for help with her armor wasn't a reason for him to panic was it?

Jacen leaned against the wall in the small room, closing his eyes and banging his forehead into the moss-covered surface. Control! he admonished himself. I must have control, she has no idea what's waiting for her, don't loose it now! he opened his palms and pressed them to the spongy fungus, knocking his head into the wall again. He was trying to get the image of undoing all those straps up her back out of his mind and he was failing.

He could see it clearly. She pulled her hair up and away while his hands deftly slid the buckles loose before pushing the supple armor down off her shoulders, down her arms to let it fall to her waist. He could feel the satin softness of her skin under his hands as they slid back up to her shoulders, pulling her backwards as he bent to kiss the nape of her neck, her shoulder, her- NO! he slammed his forehead into the wall again, pounding against the surface with his fist. Stop it! he screamed silently at himself, Just stop! But he couldn't get the image out of his mind and, slowly, he sank to the floor. He had to banish it now, before he saw her again, or he was in deep trouble. They both were.



Tenel Ka returned to the fire once Vola came to take her turn on guard duty and turned immediately to Flynn. "Flynn?"

He looked up guiltily, "What'd I do now?"

"You have done nothing I am aware of."

"Oh, phew. Sorry, Tenel Ka, what can I help you with?"

"I have a question," she told him seriously.

Flynn's gaze went to the room where Jacen was still hiding. And it was hiding, because he'd been in there for the last two hours without showing the slightest hint of coming out. "About him?"

She nodded.

"You know him better than I do."

"But you are a man."

He grinned, adjusting the cover around Nicha's shoulders, "Glad you noticed. What's that have to do with anything?"

"I do not understand why Jacen would run from me," she told him seriously. "I do not see why."

Flynn chuckled. "Man, you really are innocent in the ways of men, aren't you?"

She inclined her head. "My training revolved around warfare."

"Uh, yeah. Well, see, Jacen finds you attractive, a little too attractive."

"I should alter my appearance?" she asked curiously.

"Uh, no, that's not what I mean. It's a good thing he's attracted to you, trust me, but, uh, there are things that go on between men and women which come from attraction."

"Pro-creation," she nodded once. "I remember my mother's lecture on this topic."

"Then you know what's involved?" Flynn's cheeks were bright red and he couldn't meet her gaze.

"I do not," she told him, making his eyebrows rise suspiciously. "I did not pay much attention to that subject."

Flynn burst out laughing. "Oh god that's priceless!"

"You find me amusing?"

His laughter died and he backtracked. "Oh no, no, I don't I just think it's funny the one topic that could help you now is the one you skipped."

"I did not skip. I simply did not pay attention."

He shrugged. "Whatever. Either way you didn't get the knowledge that would make this easier. You know how animals mate, right?"

She nodded once. "I am aware of the mechanics."

"Well, uh, humans are similar. One male and one uh, female in an intimate setting usually involving no clothing... Uh, maybe Jacen should explain this to you." Flynn was looking distinctly uncomfortable.

"He is not here."

"Yeah, but I can't... You should really ask him, Tenel Ka. I mean, he's the one who's feeling these urges, not me."

"Urges?"

"To uh... mate."

She arched an eyebrow. "If it is simply that why does he not say so?"

"I don't know; I'm not him!"

She inclined her head. "Fact. My apologies. May I ask one question?"

"I suppose."

"Why would Jacen react as he did when I asked him to help fix my armor?"

Flynn snickered. "It's funny you should ask. Your armor is very form fitting, if you hadn't noticed."

"For free movement."

"Well, um, ok, yeah. Sorry. Anyway, it shows off alot of skin and certain areas can er... stimulate a man."

Her brows drew together in a rare show of confusion. "I do not understand why my back would be such a place."

Flynn shrugged. "I haven't a clue, you'd have to ask him."

She rose to her feet. "Thank you, Flynn. You have been most helpful."

"I'll bet I have," he grumbled softly, watching her walk towards the room where Jacen was hidden. A slow smirk found its way onto his face. Jacen wouldn't know what hit him.




Jacen had his back to the wall, his arms crossed over his knees and his face buried in the crook of his elbow when the sound of someone pushing on his barricade brought his head up. "Who's there?"

"Tenel Ka."

He grimaced, her voice sliding through his system like slow torture. "What do you need, your highness?"

The sounds of her moving the objects stopped. "Are you well?"

He laughed shortly, the sound slightly hysterical. Well? Well?! He hadn't been well since he'd taken the advice from his father! He ran a hand through his hair, grabbing the strands in his fist. He was crazy to have thought this could work just between the two of them. Being stuck in the under levels of the former city, surrounded by miles of duracrete and dirt was like being in a pressure cooker; the heat was too high and something was getting ready to explode. Like his sanity.

"Jacen?"

He jerked, pushing himself to his feet, "Don't come in here, Tenel Ka."

"I only wish to speak with you."

"Then talk."

"Alone, Jacen."

"I don't think that's a good idea," he replied. "Tomorrow, Tenel Ka. -Please-, not now."

"I do not understand."

He leaned forward, placing his forehead against the warped door, "I can't explain, just please, not now."

The sound of her voice was close and he knew without seeing her she was directly on the other side of the twisted metal. He swallowed hard, able to envision her in his mind. The door shifted and he gripped it, keeping it in place.

"I simply wish to talk to you."

"I know, but..."

The door shifted, buckling suddenly and he jumped back as it crashed to the floor in front of him. He backpedaled, putting space between him and Tenel Ka as she stepped inside. "Speaking through a door is unacceptable. You are hiding from me. Why?"

His mouth went dry as he stared at her. She looked like some kind of avenging warrior, backlit by the flickering flames of the main room. His back hit the wall and he flattened his hands against it, gripping the layers of moss for something to hold. He couldn't touch her, no matter how much he wanted to. He couldn't allow this attraction to overcome his good sense, to take hold of him completely. But it was too late. His common sense was just about shot, his control thread thin and fraying. He couldn't reply and she stepped towards him, a warrior stalking her prey.

"Jacen?"

He swallowed hard, trying to force something, anything, past his tight throat. "Don't."

She paused. "Do not what?"

"Don't move."

She stopped, halfway between him and the door, which wasn't enough, not by a long shot. His grip tightened on the moss, tearing it from the wall and crushing it in his fists.

"Why did you run from me?"

He almost laughed but couldn't. Why indeed. Would she believe him if he said it was because of an overactive imagination? He closed his eyes, trying to think of something else. He'd managed to regain some control in the isolation of the small room, but her presence seemed to destroy it. Seeing the very clothing he'd been fantasizing about was dangerous; it brought the mental image of tearing it from her immediately to his mind. "I..."

"Flynn said it was because you are attracted to me. Is it so?"

This time he did laugh, a bark of tortured amusement. "Flynn said?" he banged his head into the wall behind him, looking at her with pleading eyes. "He's right, you have no idea how right he is."

She arched an eyebrow. "From your actions I find that hard to believe."

He groaned. "Tenel Ka, if I did what I want to, you might just run screaming."

"I have never 'run screaming' from anything." She told him pointedly. "Least of all you."

"Maybe you should."

She paused and then shook her head. "No. That will never happen. Do you desire me?"

He blinked, feeling as if she'd punched him in the gut. Desire? What a paltry term for what he was feeling. He yearned for her, needed her, and craved her like water to a dying man. He nodded; there was no point in denying it. "The same as you do me."

She cocked her head at him, making his breath catch in his throat. She was so innocent, so inexperienced. "Is that what this is? This crawling sensation across my skin, the ache in my chest and my body?"

He swallowed hard, again, his hands clenching around the moss, nodding.

"Ah. Ah ha." She arched an eyebrow. "It is most distracting, how do you fix it?"

"Fix it?" he echoed, his hands going slack before clawing at the wall, digging deeply under the soft fungus. "You don't 'fix it'."

"Then what is the point to these... urges?"

"What urges?" He bit his tongue, silently cursing himself for asking the question without thinking as she stepped closer, now barely four feet between them.

She stopped, her hand stretching towards him for a moment before sliding to the buckles at her arms. "I wish to touch you. To feel my skin against yours, is that wrong?"

Oh Force! he closed his eyes, swallowing convulsively. Wrong? Was it wrong? He wanted to laugh, to cry, to grab her and hold her telling her no, it wasn't, but he couldn't. He was frozen, fighting both himself and her, the need to protect her foremost in his mind.

"Jacen?"

He could hear the uncertainty in her voice drove him to his knees, causing them to buckle as he sank to the floor.

"Jacen!"

His eyes flew open as she was suddenly kneeling in front of him, her hand reaching out to touch him. He grabbed it before she could and knew, immediately it was a terrible idea. The feel of her wrist, the satin soft skin against his fingertips was his undoing.

He pulled her viciously towards him, his mouth slanting across hers as he pulled her down on his lap. Her body pressed tightly against his and he felt the shock ripple from her through the Force. He couldn't help himself as his hand dived into her hair, angling her head under his as he deepened the kiss. His other hand slid down her back, over the skin exposed by her armor. She arched into him, gasping against his mouth as he undid the buckles at the top, releasing the taught fabric. His mouth left hers, and he trailed hurried, desperate kisses down her neck to her shoulder, biting her gently. She cried out, his name a gasp on his lips as she felt the armor slip, but she didn't care. Whatever was between them had been building to this, to this moment, yet it scared her.

There was an abandonment in his touch, his kiss that was almost possessive, desperate, as his hand moved under the lose straps to slide against the sensitive skin of her lower back. Colors exploded in front of her eyes as he kissed her again and she clung to him, swept away by his passion.

Jacen was drowning. Drowning in the feel of her soft skin, her firm muscles so supple beneath his hands. He pealed the armor from her body, kissing her shoulders as they were completely revealed, indulging in his need to touch her. His hands were everywhere, or so it seemed, and she was more responsive than he'd ever dreamed. She responded to his touch, his kiss, as if she knew what would inflame him. And he was being swept away by the passion, swept away by her emotions as he felt them through the Force.

And he thrust her away, scrambling to his feet, and running from the room. He'd felt fear. Of him, of his lack of control, of what was going to happen between them. She had no foreknowledge and it terrified her. Sprinting past a shocked Flynn, Jacen tore the curtain away from the entrance to the pool and dove in. Clothes, boots and all.



Tenel Ka lay where she'd fallen, her heart pounding in her chest, her body tingling, alive with sensations and aching like never before. Slowly she pushed herself to a sitting position. Dazed, confused by his actions and suddenly denied the power of his touch, she put her back to the wall and pulled her legs into her chest. Resting her forehead on the tops of them, she closed her eyes and fought against the sting of irrational tears. Whatever had caused him to stop was probably a good thing, but it wasn't what she wanted. She wanted -him- and he wanted her. But that didn't lend her comfort from the sting of his sudden, inexplicable rejection.