Chapter 12 ~ The Truth

"You shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you mad."

                    ~ Aldous Huxley

"A lie told often enough becomes truth."
                   ~ Lenin (Vladimir Ulyanov)

"The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple."

                    ~ Oscar Wilde

          Lily stood there watching James and Sirius fighting, hidden under his invisibility cloak. She was in awe at how such good friends could fight over something this little.

          "Look, Padfoot, I'm sorry okay? But we've been best buds forever! You can't let something like a middle name get in-between that, can you?" James said. Lily saw the pleading look in his eyes and knew that instant that he meant every word he was saying.

          "If I can't trust you with something that small then how can we know if we can trust you with anything? How do we know you haven't blabbed to your precious Lily about Remus' condition? Hmm?" Sirius said accusingly, not looking James in the face, Lily noticed.

          Remus' condition? What the hell? Lily thought.

          "You know I wouldn't tell anyone that! Not something that serious!"

          Okay, I've overstayed my welcome, big time! You can tell him later Evans. Lily ordered herself. She silently crept down the stairs, making sure to not make a sound.

          Once when she reached her dorm, she flopped down onto her bed and let the cloak slip from her head. She stared dreamily at the canopy of her bed. Absentmindedly, she brought the silvery piece of material to her nose and inhaled deeply.

          "Ahh," she sighed. "It smells just like him."

          She lay there, daydreaming about what had just occurred with her and James. I can't believe it! He loves me too! At least… I think he does, she thought uncertainly. He has to, that much emotion couldn't be faked.

          She was too busy thinking to hear the door open and Mollie's slight gasp.

          "Lily? What… where's you body?" she asked stunned.

          "Huh?" Lily looked up. "Oh, invisibility cloak," she replied offhandedly, tossing it under her bed.

          "Where'd you get that??" Mollie asked in awe. "Those things are rare!" She sat down on her bed which was right next to Lily's.

          "James…" Lily said, her eyes clouding over.

          "Why do you have his cloak?" she questioned. Her friends look didn't go unnoticed.

          "Because I had to get out of his room before Sirius and Pettigrew saw me."

          "Okay Lily, WHAT the HELL happened?" Why would she need to get out without being seen?

          "Mollie, it was… breathtaking! I can't believe what just happened and yet… I dunno, I just-"

          "You slept with him didn't you?" Mollie asked accusingly. All Lily did was nod her head. "Did you tell him?"

          "Well, not in so many words, I actually showed him," Lily said slowly.

          "In other words, he don't know," Mollie said incredulously.

          "No… but… how can you have sex with someone and NOT love them?" Lily asked, trying to come up with an excuse.

           "Lily, you do know that James has a rep. He's slept with so many girls, I'm surprise he isn't a father yet!" Mollie said, trying to break the news to Lily softly.

          Lily knew very well about James' reputation. She heard so many girls brag in the bathroom about how good he was. She had to admit they were right.

          "But I'm different Mollie," she said, trying to convince herself as well, Mollie's words had sparked something inside her. What was it… jealousy? "He loves me!" she said more surely than she felt.

          "He told you that?" Mollie asked. She didn't want to hurt Lily, she'd already been hurt so much, and she doesn't need anymore of this.  But she had to be sure; she had to know the truth.

          "No, I can tell he does!" Lily said, almost yelling. "I could see it in his eyes," she said a little softer.

          "Lily, I don't want you to get hurt. We both know how James can be…" she trailed off.

          Yes, Lily knew how he could be. She didn't hate him for 5 years straight for no reason. He loves me, she tried telling herself, I'm different, I know I am!

          "Mol, I'm going to take a shower and then go to bed okay? I'm kinda tired."

          "Well of corse you are," Mollie said with a twinkle in her eye, "Who wouldn't be!"

          "See ya later Mollie," Lily said with a laugh as she walked into the bathroom.

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          By the morning, Lily had convinced herself that James does love her. And I'm going to tell him I feel the same way.

          And James had convinced himself of something as well. Then only problem was it was the exact opposite of what Lily had done.

          "Hey Lil," James said as he saw her at the table eating breakfast, "we… we need to talk." He said the famous line for break-ups, but Lily was blissfully unaware of the meaning of those four strong words. Mollie, however, wasn't blinded by love to notice this. But seeing as she was busy feeding Remus his breakfast, she couldn't do anything.

          "Sure James, what about?" Lily questioned, patting the seat next to her.

          "N-not here… in privet," he said quietly. Mollie was starring at him unbelieving.

          "A-hem!" interrupted her thoughts of the torture she'd do to James if he hurt Lily.

          "For someone who wanted to cancel this bet, you sure are enjoying yourself," she said sarcastically.

          "Yes well, you are the one who wanted to go through with it," he said, rubbing it in.

          "Fine!" she said, grudgingly as she watched Lily and James walk away. Lily's hair bouncing in her ponytail behind her as she jovially walked behind the skulking James.

          What have you gotten yourself into Tiger-Lily?

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          "Lily, about last night, I-" James started as they exited the castle and reached the grounds.

          "James, you don't have to say anything, I feel the same way," Lily interrupted him, jumping to conclusions to quickly for her own good.

          "Y-you do?" James questioned, not sure he was hearing right.

          "Yeah, I mean how could I not?"

          "Oh," he said, a little disappointed, although he didn't know why. You brought this upon yourself. "Well then I'm glad we both agree that it was a mistake."

          Lily's face fell. "Wh-what?" she asked shocked, stopping in her tracks.

          "It was a mistake. Just hormones, ya know? What we both need is this plan to get done and over with and get what we really what, no`?" James said, getting more confident. "I mean, we both still want other people, it was just a substitution, letting out sexual frustration on each other." He began walking again. Lily was trying to hold back the tears she was on the verge of letting fall.

          "No I don't know," she whispered.

          "What?" James asked, turning around to look at her.

          "Your right James," she said, gritting her teeth, "And so was Mollie. This plan is taking to long. I've got an idea, let's stage a break-up," she suggested.

          I'm not going to be some kinda toy of his until he gets his precious Arabella! I'm ending it now.

          "What?" It was now James' turn to be shocked. He was enjoying Lily's company, but it had gone a little too far for his liking.

          Why do you care? Questioned his evil conscious. You never cared about deflowering a girl before? Why's this one different? But he just blocked it out.

          "You heard me. We'll pretend to break-up, just like we pretended to go out. You'll break up with me and go to Figg and I'll play the little baby and Amos will come and comfort me," she seethed, "in front of the Great Hall and everything."

          "But Lily…"

          "James, you said we needed to get this plan over with and they aren't gonna think about approaching us if we're taken!"

          "O-okay."

          "Good, I'm glad you understand. Now, let me think of a little skit so this can get done and over with." She stood there, looking at him expectantly. "Alone???"

          "Oh, sorry. Tell me when you're ready to do it," he said dejectedly as he turned around and walked back up to the castle. Once when Lily heard the door slam, she ran. She ran as fast as she could to her refuge, her rock.

          Whenever she wanted to get away from things during the day she'd go to a large rock along the shore of the lake and sit there, enjoying the scenery.

          "You're stupid Lily! He could never love you, no one could!" she then broke down and cried her heart out. Once when her tears were spent, she smiled wickedly. "Oh, you'll know when I'm ready. Revenge will be sweet."

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          James walked back into the Great Hall with his shoulders sagging. He sat down and stared at the food on the table with contempt.

          "What's bugging you bud?" Remus asked as he leaned his head back, relaxing as Mollie massaged his shoulders.

          "Nothing," James said after he dimly heard Remus' question.

          "Where's Lily?" Mollie asked, sensing what had occurred between the two. At that James' head shot up.

          "Outside… thinking," he said gruffly.

          "Remus, you mind if I go talk to her quick, it's important," Mollie pleaded. Remus looked into her eyes and could indeed tell that this, whatever it was, was important.

          "Go," he said, "but you owe me!"

          "Thanks!" she then sprinted out of the dinning hall.

          Then minute she reached the bottom of the stone steps she saw the flash of red that she would know anywhere. And, luckily for her, she was heading towards the castle again.

          "Lily! What happened?" she asked the minute Lily was in hearing range.

          "You'll find out as soon as I get in to the castle," Lily said stiffly, and it worried Mollie. She had never seen her like this. She walked up the steps like a robot; it was mechanical, routine, it meant nothing to her. Right now, she wanted revenge.

          When she sat down across to James, she whispered into his ear quickly, "You start talking to me normally. Say I think we should break-up and all that stuff. When I ask you why, you say you don't like me like that and that there's someone else, understood." James didn't disobey, she sounded somewhat like McGonagall and that scared him.

          "Hey Lily, I don't think this is working out," he said after a minute or two.

          "I know what you mean James, I can't stand not being next to you," Lily said overenthusiastically as she stood up to move to the other side.

          "No Lily, not the seating arrangement," James looked at her and gulped. She just stood there, glaring. God she's good at acting! "We're not working out. I think we should see other people." Why is this so hard?

          "WHAT?" Lily screamed at the top of her lungs. The whole hall fell silent. She inwardly smiled at getting what she desired out of the students. "Yo-you want to break-up?" she said a little more quietly.

          Another gulp, "yes."

          "Why James?" she whispered.

          "I don't like you that way, I like someone else."

          "There's… there's someone ELSE?? SOMEONE ELSE?!?!" she screamed again.

          Why is she doing this? Fine! She wants me to play this little game…

          "Yes there was someone else!" James yelled, scraping his chair backwards and standing up to face Lily properly. "You were NOTHING to me! It was all a sham just to get who I wanted! I never really liked you! Why would I? And how the hell COULD I?"

          This hit Lily like a ton of bricks. It's the truth, was all that she could here running through her head. Tears stung her eyes and she didn't bother to hold them back.

          "You USED me?? How could you! You BASTARD!!! I hope to hell she was worth it!"

          "Oh, I know she is! I'm positive she's going to be 10,000% better in bed then you'll ever be!" he yelled back, really getting into this 'acting' thing.

          Tears rolled down Lily's cheeks. All eyes were on them, deathly silence. It roared in her ears. The truth… the truth, was what it kept chanting.

          "James," she whispered, but not one person mistook what she said, "I loved you and you used me. I loved you, James. I love you." She then flew out of the hall in tears. She pushed Mollie aside, who was standing in the doors watching the whole scene. She quickly ran out after Lily after glaring at James, and if looks could kill, he'd be dead ten times over.

          James sat down slowly and the hall erupted in whispers. She was acting. It was all fake, wasn't it?

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I'm trying to make up for my long gaping hole when I didn't update for about two months. During that time I was thinking and brainstorming for this story a lot and I have to say, I pretty much have most of the story planned in my head… now I just need to get it onto paper. Let you be warned, it's not like any L/J fic that I've read before and it doesn't end with their death, I'm going to end up writing a sequel……… but lets not get that far into the future. I still have a while to go. I had just needed a break to gather my thoughts. Now… to make this more fun I want to see your predictions of what MAY happen in this fic. Amuse me, make me laugh. AND review.

Thank you list:

Anarane Anwamane, Phoenix281, angel-dolphin1, LilVickiRyan, Agloechen, freakyfroggurl22, theantisocial1, GypsyBeLLs, podean-opaleye, Wicca Chick, Nikki, Tenshi5, vamperfly, lilynjamesAAF, james_padfoot, chewy1, and Samara Morgan.

I didn't get as many as I'm used to, but I did break 150 and I promised you I'd update after that. So here you go. Now you know what you NEED, WANT, and HAVE to do, don't you? Make me happy…