Chapter 15 ~ Discoveries

          "They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel."

                    ~ Carl W. Buechner

          "It belongs to human nature to hate those you have injured."

                    ~ Tacitus

          "Jamesie!" he heard called after him from down the hall.

          "WHAT Arabella?" James said sharply, he was annoyed and he wanted sometime to think before class started.

          "You didn't give me a goodbye kiss!" she whined, her lower lip sticking out in a pout. She was trying, and failing, to look cute. James quickly walked up to her, gave her a peck on the cheek, and said goodbye. He didn't want a snog session at the moment. He knew full well that was what she really wanted.

          God! Lily was NEVER like this! He thought while walking through the halls.

          Now why would you compare her to Lily? His evil side said.

          I dunno! He exclaimed in his head as he came around a corner and entered an unused classroom, three doors down from his Transfiguration class.

          You compared them for SOME reason! Now WHY in Merlin's name would you do that? It said sarcastically.

          Because they're nothing alike! Arabella needs a make out session every ten minutes! But Lily… Lily wasn't hanging on me as though her life depended on it. She was just happy to be with me.

          But that's 'cause you were just friends trying to make your crushes jealous! It mocked.

          No we weren't! There WAS something there… there was. We clicked right from the start. And now I screwed it up!

          Good to see you've come to face reality.

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          "LILY! For God's sake GET UP!" Mollie was screaming at Lily. It was five minutes to class and she still wouldn't get up. "Lil, class starts in FIVE MINUTES!!! Now get your sorry ass outta bed!"

          "WHAT?!" Lily asked shocked, practically screaming, but it croaked out instead because of her fatigue.

          "You've got five minutes, no now four minutes, to get ready and get to class." Mollie said, indicating to the clock. Lily quickly stood up, but then collapsed on the bed.

          Her head spun with the effort to stay sitting up. She groaned and her hand went to her head. All of her blood had rushed to it and it now felt like her heart was pounding inside it.

          "Lily, you okay?" Mollie asked with concern evident in her voice.

          "Ooooo," Lily groaned again as a wave of nausea hit her full force. She quickly leapt up, trying to fight off the headache, and ran to the bathroom. She bent over the toilet and lost her dinner, lunch and breakfast from yesterday. Once when all of it was out, she moaned and leaned back against the wall.

          "Alright Lily, that's it, your going to the hospital wing!" Mollie commanded. Lily normally would've protested, but she couldn't find her voice.

          Mollie picked her up and swung her arm around her shoulder and practically dragged her out of the dorm and down the steps. On the way out the common room, Remus saw them staggering through and automatically walked over to support Lily's other side.

          "What happened?" he asked Mollie concernedly.

          "She's really sick. Threw up, can barely stand, she's definitely got something," she replied. Lily just moaned, her head still spinning from the effort to keep standing and trying to walk. "We're on our way to the hospital wing."

          "I figured that out. Come on, let's hurry up 'cause I don't want her to throw up all over the halls."

          They kept walking through the halls, stopping every now and then so Lily could calm down and stop her spinning head. When they finally got there, the rest of the school was 30 minutes into its lessons.

          "Madame Pomphrey!" Remus called after they had laid Lily down on a cot. "Madame Pomphrey!"

          "WHAT?!?" the nurse said as she exited her office and came to answer Remus' call.

          "We've got a sick patient," Mollie began to explain. "She barfed and can barely walk 'cause her head hurts so much."

          "Oh dear! Alright, you two get to your classes and I'll take care of her. Now get out! Shoo!" she ordered, pushing them out the door.

          "Now dear, tell me what's wrong," the nurse ordered. Lily told her how she wasn't feeling well for the past few days and how it had escalated, her voice groggy and weak. "It sounds like a common case of influenza, but I'll do a few tests, just to make sure," she intoned after Lily had finished. She waved her wand around in a few complex manners and mumbled words under her breathe. When she was finished, she turned to Lily with an indifferent look on her face. "It seems, my dear, that you are perfectly healthy. Not a sick cell in you body."

          "How is that… possible?" Lily asked, stunned, "I just threw up! I can barely walk!"

          "I'm not sure, but there is nothing wrong with you…… unless… Miss Evans, have you had your monthly period yet?" the nurse asked cautiously.

          Lily looked at her stunned. She doesn't think? I can't be, can I? She thought. But the more she pondered on it, the more sense it made, and she had skipped her period as well, but she just assumed she was late. And with all the shit going on with James, that was the last thing on her mind. But it did make sense.

          "Miss Evans?" Madame Pomphrey said, breaking Lily out of her reverie.

          "No… I don't think I have," she said even weaker than before, bewildered at the thought of becoming a mother.

          "Let me check," the nurse said, with a controlled expression on her face. Lily watched her do this in horrified silence. She couldn't feel any emotion except the shock of this revelation. "Miss Evans, congratulations are in order," she said with fake cheerfulness. Lily knew that deep down; she was appalled that a student had the guts to get pregnant during school. "I'm going to give you a potion to help the negative side effects and then you'll be able to go to class. The Headmaster will be informed and he'll probably want to speak with you later on today. You may also want to inform the father…" she trailed off.

          At the mention of the word father, the whole world froze and everything came crashing down on Lily. James… he's the father! Oh God!!! Madame Pomphrey came back with the vile of her medication and roughly handed it to her. Lily took it mechanically and drank it without tasting it.

          "May I go now?" she asked feebly as she handed the vile back to the mediwitch.

          "Yes," the nurse said curtly and walked back to her office.

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          Lily ran out, tears streaming down her face. She didn't know where she was going, but she just kept running.

          You seem to be doing a lot of this lately! She said to herself sarcastically. Running around and crying! She collapsed against the wall and her body shook with her heart wrenching sobs.

          James is the father! There's nothing you can do about that! She screamed at herself inside her head. And he hates you! He hates you so much! She cried even harder at this thought.

          "God damn it! Why the hell did this have to happen to me!" she said aloud.

          And I was getting over him too, she added in her thoughts.

          No you weren't! You are just as much in love with him as the day you made love to him!

          "SHUT-UP!" she screamed out loud at herself. In hindsight, she knew she must've sounded crazy, but at the moment she didn't care. "Maybe I am," she said as she sniffed, "maybe I'm just a nutcase."

          Her tears were gone. The only hint of them were her puffy eyes and the streaks down her face. There were no more left. She stood up and began to walk to her dormitory. She knew she couldn't face the rest of the school right now. She had too much to think about.

          When she reached the Gryffindor hallway, she saw Mollie and Remus waiting for her.

          "Lily! Are you okay? What did she say?" Mollie asked the minute she had seen her. Lily panicked.

          What will they think? They're gonna hate me, aren't they?

          "Shouldn't you be in the hospital wing, getting treated?" Remus asked, worrying about her health. Lily took a deep breathe.

          They're gonna find out sooner or later. Better be sooner rather than later.

          "Let's get inside and I'll explain everything," she said quietly, ushering both her friends in through the portrait.

          Lily collapsed onto the couch in front of the fire and hugged the pillow tightly to her chest, trying to gain some courage before she told her friends this. A single tear escaped her eye, but she quickly swiped it away. There was no room for tears.

          "You guys must first promise not to tell a single living soul! No matter what you think is the right thing. Promise, please?" Lily pleaded.

          "Promise," both of her friends said automatically. Whatever it was she was about to tell them, they could tell that it was really serious.

          "Mollie already knows, but I don't think you do Remus. James and I had had sex," Lily said easily. For some reason it came out just like any other old thing. And it felt good to get it off her chest and talk about it. "Although by the fight that we had in the Great Hall you could probably figure it out."

          "I kinda guessed," Remus said, not meeting Lily's eyes. "But that isn't what you want to tell us, is it?"

          "No, it's not Remus," Lily said, shaking her head sadly. "What I'm telling you is an effect of what happened, guys I-"

          "Lily, tell me you're not?" Mollie asked, filling in the blanks.

          "What? What is she?" Remus asked, being the typical boy.

          "I am Mollie. I'm pregnant," Lily said solemnly. Remus looked at her, flabbergasted at this thought.

          "Are you going to tell James?" he said the first thing that came to his mind.

          "NO! I can't. I just can't. It's hard enough knowing that I'm going to have his baby, but telling him is another story. Which is why I made you promise not to tell anyone, no matter if it felt like the right thing to do," she explained.

          "Are you going to keep it?" Mollie asked the question that was on all three of their minds.

          "I don't really know. Dumbledore is supposed to talk to me. I'll figure it out sooner of later," she replied, wondering this herself.

          "You're gonna have to tell him sometime you know. He's going to figure it out, just like everyone else will," Mollie reasoned logically.

          "He CAN'T find out! NEVER! It would make everything worse… you promised," she said weaker than before. "I think I'm going to lie down for a bit. I have the rest of the day off and I'm tired. You guys best get to class before they catch you out," she said warningly as she walked up the stairs and lay down to sleep everything off.

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          James was sitting in the Great Hall at lunch. He was bored as hell and hadn't seen Mollie and Remus since their first class ended. In fact, they had even been late. This puzzled James even more.

          Oh well, he thought, must've over slept.

          He then got up and began walking to the Gryffindor Tower. He had a free period and he felt like lying down in his room. He stood up to leave and out of his peripheral vision saw Arabella stand as well. He began walking quicker and took a detour down a smaller hallway, hoping to loose her. Luckily for him, he did.

          God! Can't she understand that I need my space! He thought as he continued walking.

          Once he reached the portrait hole, his mood wasn't in the best at all. Thinking about Arabella made him think about girlfriends. Thinking about girlfriends made him think of all his ex's, but one in particular. And thinking about her made him feel bad. He didn't understand what was going on in his head, but he had to fix it. That's all he knew.

          He walked into the common room and noticed that Lily, Remus and Mollie were sitting in front of the fire. All of them looked miffed about something. Mollie and Remus looked concerned and Lily looked… scared?

          "Hey guys," James approached carefully. He knew full well that all of them were mad at him because of the comments he had received from them recently. They turned around. Remus' face was filled with disdain; he was looking at James as though he were Snape or someone like him. Mollie's face wasn't any better. She was looking at him the same way McGonnagal did whenever he did something wrong. And Lily… Lily was looking at him with fear evident in her eyes. She looked as though she were scared of the sight of him.

          "What do you want?" Mollie asked, daring to be the first one to speak.

          "What's the matter? You guys look upset," he said, looking more at Lily than anyone else.

          "Nothing James, we're all fine," Lily said quietly.

          Remus and Mollie looked at Lily in awe. After all she'd been through; she was talking to him… and civilly for that matter. She even called him James!

          "But you missed class today. That means something's wrong."

          "Nothing is wrong. I was a little sick this morning and I went to the hospital wing. Nothing serious. Mollie and Remus were just worried about me. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to find out what I missed." Lily said, still in her meek voice as she stood and walked out, heading not to her teachers, but to the Headmaster's office to talk about her 'condition'.

          "Bye Lil," Mollie called after her, figuring out exactly what she was doing.

          "Why don't you just leave her be!" She snapped at James as soon as Lily had closed the portrait hole. "She doesn't need this shit! You two are back to being enemies! Just how it was supposed to go! You got your bitch! Now leave her the hell alone!" she screeched. She then pounded up the stairs and into her dormitory, slamming the door behind her. James looked at Remus almost imploring him to take his side.

          "You brought this upon yourself; don't come to me for help." Remus then too went up to his dorm. James just collapsed on the sofa in front of the fire, head in his hands. He had probably just made it worse and he didn't even know how!

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          "Come in Miss Evans," came Professor Dumbledore's voice from inside the huge mahogany doors with gold knockers. Lily timidly walked through the doors and stood before the large desk with her head held down in shame. She never, EVER thought she'd be inside this office for the reason she is now. "I was wondering when I'd be seeing you again," he continued, his sparkling blue eyes gazing at her knowingly.

          "So-so Madame Pomphrey told you," Lily said shyly. She was ashamed with herself.

          "Now, Poppy did not inform me of your child. I had known for quite some time… even before you knew," the headmaster said cautiously.

          "Y-you knew?"

          "Yes my dear, I knew. Remember that night in the tower, when I said you had someone who needed you?" he asked kindly. Lily nodded, still dumbfounded at the fact the Headmaster had known and not even told her. "That," he said, pointing towards Lily's stomach, "is who you must live for. Your child."

          Lily's hand automatically moved down to her flat stomach that didn't even indicate the fact that she was with child. She then looked up at the old man before her and he smiled at her.

          "Have you told Mr. Potter yet?" he asked, his face becoming a little bit more solemn. Lily shook her head slowly.

          "I don't p-plan on it," she said softly.

          "Very well. I shan't pressure you into telling him. But let you be aware that he should know. Please take a seat Miss Evans," he told her kindly, seeing her discomfort at standing for so long.

          "Sir, I can't tell him! I need to keep away from him. I'm already hurting enough," she all but whispered.

          "I see Lily. Now I believe you should get back to your dormitory. Get some well deserved rest and by tomorrow you'll be all better and no one will know otherwise!" he said, his eyes twinkling merrily.

          "Yes sir, than you sir. Goodbye." She then walked out and back towards the tower, having a new perspective on everything.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WOW! It's been almost a MONTH since I've updated. I am SOOOOOOOOOO sorry for the long wait, but I have had writers block. You see, I know exactly how the endings going to go… but there's stuff that should happen in the middle that I could put in cuz I don't want to rush the ending, ya know? If you guys have ANY ideas, TELL ME!!!!!! It's mue importanto! Now…. Onto my thank you's, so many of you have reviewed, I feel SOOOOOOOOO special. I am now on 35 peoples favorites list and have 283 reviews!!!

Smiley Mary ~ no, you're not stupid. Your ideas are pretty valid and go along with what I pretty much have planed. Thanks!

Vicki Ryan ~ Thank you for your input, as you can see, you are right, as well as many others who guessed about Lily being pregnant. And yes, James is VERY dumb, but aren't all men? (sorry guys, I'm not tying to hurt all ya'll's feelings! I have a b/f and he is VERY smart!!) Thank you so much for that lovely comment!!!

S1lver-3yes ~ I hope that this is enough about James. As I get into the story, I find it harder and harder to write for him because we've got them split up. Lily's conflicts are easier to write, whereas James' are internal and MUCH harder to write for. Thank you.

Kcchristian ~ You are not a dork and I won't hate you! I can't hate my reviewers, cuz without you guys, I don't know what I'd do!!! You're on the right track. I guess Lily getting pregnant is something unexpected! And we'll see where the rest of it goes! I will TRY to read you fanfic, but with school and my story, I may not have much time. Tanky!

PeRkieGuRl ~ he doesn't plan on 'getting laid bye Arabella' as you can tell, he doesn't really like her! YAY!!! And thankyou!!!

LilyEvans2000 ~ I'm sorry if you think it will ruin the story, but I promise you, this makes the story even better! I a twisted sort of way…. Anywhoo! I have plans, and they may not be what you think. Sorry if you don't' like it, but just bare with me!

Zaphra TI`Gan ~ hmmmmmmm, now… to which of your ideas should I say is right and wrong. Let's just say that one is and the other isn't. The one that's right is like halfway right. I'm glad you like this story so much. Thanks for the review.

Lisa Meunier ~ You hit the nail on the head!

Blah ~ Lily's pregnant to thicken my plot. I have a reason and it's not gonna be predictable. The other sluts aren't pregnant cuz girls don't get their period around the same time. It's all different time. And I think he may have used a condom before, but in the heat of the moment, forgot one this time. Thank you fo the constructive critism. I just wanted to answer them with my reasons. I didn't take it personally either. Thank you for the comment as well!

Faries of the wood ~ If I say your right, will you keep it a secret? Good! Yes, you are right. Now just think how this may end up… she's pregnant and if you are right… what may happen to make this one different????? Thank you for the WONDERFUL review and for being the ONLY person to guess this!!

Amelia Bedelia ~ I can't really say how they're going to get back together, cuz even I don't really know how. But James will see this light… let me tell you that!

Star19 ~ Thank you. I'm glad to have you baffled so much, but I've also put hints in throughout the story about what's going to happen. Some people have ACTUALLY picked up on them, which has kinda surprised me. But, that just goes to show you not to underestimate anyone.

FxDreams ~ I'm glad that you think this is the most drama filled story you've ever read… it makes me feel very special!

Slate07 ~ Good prediction. If you hadn't said that I probably would have forgotten about that. She'll get it, let it be known to all!! LoL. Anyway, thanks.

Peach-tea1 ~ I'm sorry if I left if off like that and you thought it was a cliffy. It wasn't meant to be. I don't like cliffy's myself, so I don't write them. I'm sorry to have made you cry, but I'll take that as a good sign!

Carrie9Softball ~ I'm sorry I haven't updated my other story… I've just been really busy… school and everything. I wanted to finish this story and then I PROMISE to work on my other one! PROMISE!

ToEatTheseApplesFromYourEyes ~ Yup, that's exactly what he meant!!

Sazen ~ Oh, believe me, James will get to feel MUCH worse… even worse than he does now!

ShorTi ~ I will TRY to email you when I update. It'd kinda hard for me to do tho. But you are kinda close with your guess. I almost forgot about the gifts!

Anarane Anwamane, kat6528, kutelolangel, Leigh, Agloechen, holly, sailorsunandshildofthesun, freakyfroggurl22, pandamoanium, chewy1, Cow, lilynjamesAAF, sirius' lover, Irish Witch83, sundance-gurl, Vera, starbeam13, PACEcentergirl, angel-dolphin1, emerald-hopes, Luke's-Baby, Shinning Crystal, MURDER INC1, MegHarts, Lauren, goddesgaia, Marauders Lil Girl, stitch229, Desthemaraudetette, Koma, Annieboo92, and Ref

Thank you all SOOOOOOOOO much! Without you guys, I don' know what I would do!! You know I got 51 reviews for this chapter alone! That's a lot! Thank you all soooooooo much and I am sorry for the LONG wait!

Love ya all

Franie!