Plotting With the Enemy
Disclaimer: Yes me! I own Harry Potter! Sorry, I was still in my favorite dream...but who knows? Someday...in the far, far future...I just might own Harry Potter.
Summary: Lily and James do not get along very well. But what happens when James and lily want revenge on the same person? Well put their differences aside and combine forces of course!
A/N: Sorry I haven't updated in such a long time!!
Chapter 3 – Where They Make a Compromise
"We are so not gonna let her get away with what she did to you, Lily," Andie announced.
"Yeah..." They all murmured in agreement.
Apparently, Lily had more helpful friends than James.
"So what do ya'll wanna do to her?" Ashleigh asked gleefully, "It has to be phenomenal...something nobody's been able to pull off before..."
"Let's wait awhile till we find the perfect payback," Morgan said.
"You guys are sooooo great," Lily said as she pulled them all into a hug.
"Mr. Potter," Professor Filtwick said after James almost killed himself trying to do the bubble head charm, "I would like a word with you after class."
"Uh-oh," Sirius whispered tauntingly.
He walked up to Filtwick's desk as the rest of the class filed out.
"You needed to speak with me professor?" James asked politely.
"Mr. Potter," Professor Filtwick began, "I will say this bluntly, you are in great risk of losing your spot in the Advanced Charms program. So I suggest you find yourself a tutor and improve by the end of this month."
"I'll try," James replied simply as he left the room to join his waiting friends.
"What was that about?" Peter inquired, seeming very interested.
"Filtwick says I need to improve or I'll be kicked out of Advanced Charms." James said miserably.
"Sorry mate, can't help ya there," Peter said regretfully, "You know how bad I'm doing in that class.
Sirius wiped an imaginary tear from his eye and said, "You know it's my sworn duty as a er...troublemaker that I try to do as little work as possible; but for you, I will try."
"Erm, that's alright Sirius," James said uneasily, "I was hoping that Remus could help."
Turning his head this way and that, James went on, "Speaking of Remus, where'd he disappear to?"
"Probably hiding from you," Sirius commented, "Scared to death of being your tutor."
"What? What's wrong with me?" James asked.
"You mean you don't know?" Peter asked incredulously, "Padfoot, old friend, let's give him our list of all James's bad points," he announced grandly.
Just as Sirius opened his mouth to speak, James cut in, "Save it. You guys have lists for too many things..."
"But they do come in very handy, like that time..." Sirius rambled on while Peter nodded very vigorously beside him.
"Hey, do you guys know what Evan's first name is?" James asked as they walked to dinner.
"I'm thinking..." Sirius said as he scrunched up his face and was obviously deep in concentration.
"Isn't it Lisa or Lila or something?" Peter asked thoughtfully.
"Yes, I would go with Lila if I were you," Sirius announced.
"I dunno...Lisa sounds like the more 'studious' type," Remus said, adding his bit in.
"This is sad," James admitted, "I've known and hated the girl for five years and I don't even know her first name...why do you think it's Lisa?"
"Cause of the Simpsons," Remus answered, "Lisa is the nerdy one." "The what-what?" James asked uncertainly.
"It's a muggle show that I am quite fond of..." Remus said.
"I still say Lila," Sirius said, tring to be helpfully.
"Whatever, I'm just going to do eenie meenie moe..." James said.
"YOU FORGOT MINEE!" Sirius yelled, running around screaming. "What does it take for me to convince people to realize the importance of minie...??
"Take a pill Sirius..." Both Remus and Peter muttered at the same time.
"...moe AHA! Its Lila," James said proudly.
"We didn't even ask yet," Peter said confused, "Since when is Evans's first name so important?"
"Since I decided to beg her to teach me Charms," James answered without a hint of embarrassment.
"You have got to be kidding," Sirius said in a hushed tone.
"Nope," James said brightly.
"But you'll ruin our whole image!" Sirius wailed, "We don't beg, and its Evans, we'll never live it down..."
"Okay, Sirius, snap out of it, I'll bring the camera and you gather a crowd," Remus said quickly, taking action.
"I get it," James said as he rolled his eyes, "I will ask politely and leave it at that."
"I always knew he cared about my feelings," Sirius said, sniffing a bit.
"Yeah Sirius...all for you," James said in a fake sensitive voice.
Lily saw James Potter walking towards her and she winced to herself, oh well, she's learned a long time ago how to block out Potter's voice.
But hey; said her evil side; why don't we mess with Potter's head? Act nice!
No, the nice side argued.
But she didn't have anymore time to debate with herself so her evil side won.
"HELLO JAMES DEAR!" Lily yelled in a scary voice. She could see that James was looking frightened yet a little relieved.
"Hey Lila, can I talk to you for a minute?" James asked politely.
"Wh-what?" Lily asked uncertainly. "Are you talking to me?"
James mentally smacked himself...i should've gone with Lisa, he thought...
"No! Well yes I'm talking to you, but I meant Lisa," James replied, trying to repair the damage while dragging her away.
"Are you alright Potter?" Lily asked with almost genuine concern, "My name's Lily." She said she said, her words slow and distinct as if speaking to a mentally handicapped person.
"I knew that," James said sheepishly. "So I was uh...wondering if you'd...um...tutor me in charms." he finished hopefully.
"Are you that desperate?" Lily asked confusion was written all over her face.
James looked at her in disbelief, "You have seen me do the spell, right?"
"Well I know that you're hopeless..."
"So will you?" James asked, frustrated.
"Nope," Lily said cheerily.
"But why?" James whined.
"Because you're the boy that didn't know my name," Lily answered, "And the fact that, if you forgot, I highly dislike you."
"Well, isn't there a way to change your mind?" James said.
"Sure! Give me one good reason."
"Because I'm a fellow student trying to improve his studies?" James asked hopefully. He didn't even know what that line meant, but has seen it used successfully before...
"Haha...no, not good enough," Lily said as she switched from laughter to a stony expression.
"How about we make a trade?" James said reasonably, "I could say...clean your dorm for a week."
"NO!" came three replies from behind a marble pillar.
Lily laughed, "Well there's your answer."
"Ok, what about me teaching you Transfiguration or something, and you help me in Charms."
"No thanks, Remus is helping me," Lily said.
What?!?!? James thought to himself, he won't teach me, but teaching Evans is...[mental note: kill Remus...then you can dump the murder charges on...]
"Oh Potter..." Lily said, making James focus once again, "I don't know about you, but I'm starving, see ya around."
James racked his brain for ideas of how to get Lily to help him when he stumbled upon his answer a few days later.
He was walking to Advanced DADA when a huge crowd in the middle of the hall caught his eye.
"What happened here?" he asked the nearest person.
"Narcissa Black and Roxanne Summers were talking bout Evans's muggle parents, and she just lost it! She turned them into headless and very deformed chickens..."
"Well that's going to teach us not to mess with Evans," said a random voice from the crowd.
"Ms. Evans!" Professor McGonagall said, seemingly surprised. With a flick of her wand, they all returned to normal. "That's a detention and fifty points from Gryffindor for each...of your creations."
"Perfect," James smiled happily.
Lily stormed back to Gryffindor tower after her nightly patrols to find James the only person still up with a piece of parchment in front of him.
"What are you doing still up Potter," Lily snarled. "Waiting," James replied, "Evans I have a proposition for you."
"Yeah?" Lily said as she collapsed onto a chair, obviously exhausted.
"I have recently noticed what a nasty temper you have," James continued, "and I would like to say, if you're interested I could give you anger management classes, plus showing you how to really annoy those er...what do you call them, people?"
"How coul- "Lily managed to get out before James interrupted in a much louder voice, drowning out hers.
"In exchange for you to teach me Charms, well? How about it?"
"Whatever," Lily said. "What are you doing now?" She stared as James pulled out a long roll of parchment and scanned down it.
"OK, great," James said happily, "And this is Sirius and Peter's list of translating Evans language into normal language."
"Meet me in the library in two days after dinner," said Lily, "bring your wand, and your brain if you can find it."
"Supplies?"
"Got them."
"Everyone asleep?"
"Yep."
"Okay, let's go."
"Sirius what are you wearing," James asked as the four of them crept out of their dormitories.
"Muggles burglars where them, what, does it make me look fat?" Sirius asked in a shrill whisper.
"SHH!! Keep it down," Peter and Remus said at the same time.
"And what's with the mask?" James continued.
"Don't make fun of the mask," Sirius said menacingly, "It makes me feel commanding."
"Oh yes, all hail the great gay bird," Remus said with mockery.
"You just don't- OW!" Sirius yelled as Peter fell back into him when he tried unsuccessfully to go up the girls' staircase.
"I didn't know we can't go up to the girls' dorms, no fair they get to up ours," Peter whined.
"Come on, we have to figure a way up there, or all my efforts will be ruined! Ruined, I tell you..." James rambled on dramatically.
"Amateurs," Sirius said, rolling his eyes, "You've got to think like a girl to get up there."
"Like this?" James said as he demonstrated in a whisper, "I am Sirius Black, I looooooove the color pink, getting my nails done is like the most fun—"
"Shut it," Sirius commanded from the top of the staircase.
"Whoa, that was fast," Remus commented.
"Okay, let's all try," Peter said in a much more serious voice.
Their thoughts
James:
This is gay, no wonder Sirius got up there so fast...ooh there's candy on the ground...no FOCUS! Okay...um...
Remus:
I like dolls...well actually they scare me, cause I know when I fall asleep they'll be planning to murder me...they look so innocent, but there's...
Peter:
Shopping is good...if there's no shopping then there's cool clothes, if there's no cool clothes then I'd be sad...if I'm sad then I might die...if I die...
Twenty minutes later, they finally made it up there.
Pushing open the door they found that it was pitch black.
"Hey, I see a banana!" Sirius exclaimed, reaching for it.
"Don't touch--" James tried to warn him...but too late. [A/N: I was originally going to leave you here...but I decided not to, am I the nicest person on earth or what. ]
As soon as Sirius touched the banana, the door slammed shut by itself, metal bars came crashing down, trapping the four comrades into a cage, the blinding lights came on, a siren went off...it was chaos.
"We got him!" Ashleigh yelled happily, jumping up and down.
"Hey is that bird man Santa?" Megan asked sleepily pointing to Sirius, who had a bulging bag on his back.
"No..." Andie answered. "He's not fat enough...what do you say we pour fat down his throat?" With that, she started laughing like a lunatic.
"Ignore her..." Lily mumbled, "she just needs a little medical attention...so Potter and crew, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?"
"Came to pay a little visit to your dear friend Roxanne...speaking of which, where is she?" James glanced around curiously.
"She doesn't sleep here anymore," Ashleigh replied, "We begged the Headmaster to relocate her."
"So what's with the cage and everything?" Peter questioned.
"Oh, we were trying to trap this mad monkey that kept stealing our socks..." Morgan answered.
After hearing this, they all turned toward Sirius, who was whistling.
"What?" Sirius said defensively, "So I have a strange fascination with socks...big deal."
"Uh huh..." Remus said doubtfully. Turning toward the girls he said with a bright smile, "We promise that Sirius will return your socks [gave Sirius a look as he tried to protest], now with everything cleared, can you let us out now?" he finished with a lawyer tone.
"How about no?" Ashleigh answered, "I quite like this situation. We could get to like...test spells on you and stuff."
"Look here, if you don't--" Sirius began.
"You know...I still like my pouring fat down your throat idea," Andie cut in.
"And I'm starting to be fond that idea," Lily said.
That shut him up.
"Okay...you guys hate Roxanne as much as us, am I right?" James said in his reasonable voice.
"Duh," Morgan replied.
"So why don't we work together and give Hogwarts the best payback it's ever seen?" Peter said, catching on to James's idea.
The girls shared looks and said as one, "We accept."
"Great," Remus said, "now let us out of this monstrous trap, I can't stand being so close to Sirius anymore..."
A/N: i love my reviews...all my reviewers are soooooo awesome lol special thx for my wondyful beta reader, val [eyesofemerald] read her story itz reely good