Disclaimer: I own nothing but some thumb tacks and a subscription to Newsweek. With the exception of Jules Archer and Max Shepard, the characters in this story are the intellectual property of Ken Corday and Days of Our Lives.
Chapter 13: Heavy WordsChloe felt guilty about confessing to Brady about her near-death experience. She hadn't meant to tell him, she never intended to tell anyone, but her emotions were too raw to hold it inside. With Brady's comforting presence, the words had slipped from her like water over a fall. It felt good to finally admit to herself and to Brady what had happened to her all those years ago, but she regretted putting her emotional burden on him.
The appearance of Belle, Shawn, and Little V helped to lighten the mood of the dinner party. For whatever reason, Little V's gleeful personality and childish innocence wiped away the heavy sadness of the day's events. Chloe felt her spirits lifting with each passing moment.
Brady had strolled back into the penthouse after some solitary reflection on the balcony. Chloe shot him a worried look, and he offered a slight smile to assure her. The dinner proceeded with a whirl of delightful conversation and camaraderie. Chloe felt as comfortable and secure with the Black family as she did with her own.
As the night drew to an end, Brady offered Chloe a ride home. She accepted with a grateful smile and followed him down to the parking lot. He helped her into the passenger side of his BMW and jogged around the car to the driver's side. After sliding into his seat and shutting the door behind him, Brady turned to Chloe and said for the second time that night, "We need to talk."
She met his gaze and tried to read his meaning on his face. "I know," she replied softly.
"Do you have time tonight?" he asked hesitantly, "I know you've had a rough day, but you're a tough person to track down."
"Tonight is fine," she agreed, "I feel much better after spending some time with your family."
Brady smiled and gave her leg a gentle pat before revving the car's engine to life. Chloe tried to ignore the desire that automatically shot through her system at his touch. She adjusted the vent so the air-conditioning would cool her flushed cheeks.
As Brady drove through the streets of Salem, Chloe tried to arrange in her mind what she wanted to say to him and with a twinge of despair wondered what Brady had to say to her. The Mozart CD he had playing over his car's stereo saved her from having to make idle conversation while deep thoughts rested heavily on her mind.
Brady stopped the car on the road and waited for traffic pass by in the other lane. Chloe turned her head to look out her window. The moon shone off the lapping waves of the Salem River Reservoir. With a confused look, Chloe turned towards the other side of the road and leaned forward so she could see around Brady. The row of townhouses he was waiting to turn into were not familiar to her. "Where are we?" she asked.
Caching a break in traffic, Brady made the turn into the community. "This is where I live," he said driving through the parking lot and around the building to where rows of garages lined the back.
Chloe looked around quickly and tried to construct in her mind an image of the building that was Brady's home, but she only got a quick glance of an older style brick exterior and landscaped grounds as Brady pulled into his garage. "It looks nice," she offered.
Brady laughed, "You barely saw it."
"Well maybe if you'd slow down Speed Racer, I could take in the view," she retorted.
He turned off the ignition and chuckled softly. "Come on Doc, let's go." He stepped out of the vehicle and ran around to open the car door for her.
"Ah," Chloe sighed stepping out of the BMW, "Chivalry is not dead."
"No," Brady agreed slamming the door, "but he retired to the country."
Brady's townhouse was beautifully designed. From the garage, they entered into the kitchen. It was a large functional room with warm Italian tile floors and counter tops, warm woods, and restaurant grade appliances. Brady gave her a quick tour of his three-bedroom, three-bathroom home. The old world – Italian design was carried throughout the home with art, colors, and furniture. Chloe could tell that each element in the townhouse had been chosen with pain staking care, and unlike her loft, money had been no object in decorating.
"What do you think?" Brady asked as they settled in the living room. He flipped a switch that was hidden behind a potted fern, and the fireplace blazed to life.
"It's very nice," she replied running her hand over the soft leather of the sofa. The area above the living room was open to the second story, and Chloe craned her head back to take in the beautiful plasterwork on the ceiling.
"Would you like some wine?" Brady asked.
"Sure," Chloe replied.
Brady seemed to return almost instantaneously with a bottle of wine and two glasses. He deposited the glassware on the coffee table and sat down next to her on the sofa. Chloe watched him begin to remove the cork from the bottle, fascinated by the small movements of his arm muscles. Brady sensed her appraisal and paused in his actions, "Don't you like this vintage?"
Chloe shook herself out of her little trance to actually read the wine label. The only thing she knew about wine was what she liked and didn't like. "I was just amazed by your He-Man muscles," she said quickly.
Brady laughed and pulled on the corkscrew relieving the wine bottle of its cork. He laid the corkscrew and displaced cork beside the glasses on the table and proceeded to pour. He reclined on the sofa, swirled the wine in his glass, inhaled the fragrance from the red liquid, and took a reserved sip.
Chloe mimicked his actions. The scent and flavor of the wine filled her senses. She lowered her glass and commented, "It's good."
She could read the subtle expression in his eyes as he tried to decide if she was serious. Then he chuckled and said, "What, no mention of the smoky red current nose or silky smooth aftertaste with a hint of smoky, tarry flavor?"
Chloe peered timidly into her glass. She took another sip, but she couldn't quite understand how he could experience all that in a glass of wine. "It's good," she repeated.
"Yes indeed," Brady murmured between his smiling lips before taking another sip. "Remind me to take you to a wine tasting festival some time."
"I'd like that," Chloe replied. She felt his intense eyes upon her, but she couldn't seem to meet them. Instead, she gazed into her wine glass and took another nervous sip.
"Chloe," Brady called. She reluctantly dragged her eyes to his. "We need to talk."
A corner of her mouth turned up in a smile. "That's the third time you've said it tonight."
"I know," he sighed looking towards the ceiling for patience. "I meant it."
Chloe shifted her position, drawing her feet underneath her as she turned to face him. "Okay," she said, "What do you want to talk about?"
"Us," he replied turning his own body so that they were facing each other.
Chloe built up her courage. This conversation was inevitable even if unpleasant. She feared what she might hear; yet at the same time, she needed to hear it. "I've spent a lot of time since I returned to Salem thinking about us," she admitted.
"I have too," he sighed. He turned his head away from her and stared vacantly out the window. Chloe recognized the gesture. He wasn't ignoring her. He was just searching deep into his memory.
Silence lapsed between them. Finally Chloe let the question she had pondered in her mind escape her lips, "What happened between us?"
"I don't know, Chloe," he whispered philosophically. "I don't think either of us were looking for the other one when we discovered each other. I was too messed up and angry. It took me a while to figure out that you were what I needed in my life."
"And, I was too angry and messed up," she inserted with a rye smile, "It took me even longer to realize that you were the one I wanted."
"I know," he returned, "Sometimes I think that you and I are the same person in two different skins. From the beginning, I thought a relationship between us was as unavoidable as the sunset."
"Yet we managed to avoid it," she sighed.
"I'm sorry Chloe," he said turning suddenly back towards her. "I didn't have to go to England."
Chloe felt a sting of pain in her chest. She had expected him to say many things, but not that. "What do you mean?" she squeaked.
"It's not what it sounds like," he quickly explained, "Basic Black needed someone over there. They just didn't need me specifically."
Chloe couldn't stop herself, "Why did you go then?"
He sighed heavily, took a deep draft of his wine, and hung his head. "I was afraid," he admitted. "Thoughts of you consumed my every waking and sleeping moment. You were my obsession, and I was so desperate for you that it scared me. I couldn't assert myself because I was afraid that you wouldn't return my feelings, and I was terrified that you would. It seemed like a miracle when we were together, but I couldn't silence the doubts in my mind. Deep down I didn't trust that you really wanted to be with me. Ever since my Mom died, part of me is always waiting for the people I care about to leave. The only way I saw to avoid the pain of separation was to escape first. I ran away to England and ended our relationship before you could have a chance to finish it off."
Chloe felt mildly blown away by Brady's response, but her understanding squelched her surprise. She had run away without ever moving. "You don't have to shoulder all the blame in this instance Brady," she stated, "I understand. I was feeling the same emotions. We just had different approaches to dealing with them."
She sat down her wine glass and propped her head with an angled arm against the sofa back. "I pushed you away. I fought against getting involved with you. At first, it was because I believed I was in love with Phillip. Then, I pushed you away because I was sick and didn't want to be a burden to you." She took a deep breath because the next words were hard to say, and she was ashamed to speak them. "Finally, I tried to avoid a serious relationship with you because I was afraid that it would interfere with my medical career."
Brady winced at her harsh admission. "I never would have stood in the way of you becoming a doctor," he whispered brokenly.
"I know," she agreed. "You were never anything but supportive of my decisions, even when no one else in my life was sure. I kept putting you off because there was always another mountain I felt I had to climb. I understand now that it wasn't really you that I believed would hold me back. It was my feelings for you. I felt a stronger connection to you than I have ever felt for another human being, and it scared me. I never wanted to acknowledge those feelings because if I did, then I feared they would consume me. That's why I dated men like Phillip. With him, I could be loved and admired without engaging too much of my heart. I pushed you away, but I never meant to drive you out of my life. I was so shocked the day I turned around and realized that you weren't there. Unfortunately by that time, we were so far apart that I didn't know how to get back."
Their respective declarations lingered in the silence that overwhelmed them. It fell down upon their souls like heavy rain. Neither was proud of their admissions, and both were injured by the other's words. The tension in the room made the air chokingly thick.
Suddenly, Brady started to laugh. He clutched his sides and gave into his mirth completely. At first, Chloe stared at him as if he had sprouted another head. Then, she began to realize the absurdity of their situation and joined him. They laughed and giggled hysterically together until they were both gasping for air. "We were a pretty pair of children playing at being adults," Chloe managed between lingering chuckles.
"I know," Brady uttered. His face regained some of its seriousness. "I'm sorry that I didn't try harder. I'm sorry that I stopped talking."
"I'm sorry that I pushed you away. I'm sorry that I stopped listening," she returned.
"Apology accepted," they said in unison. They dissolved into another fit of laughter.
"Where do we go from here?" Chloe asked hesitantly as they regained their composure.
Brady almost succeeded in completely concealing his nervousness when he said, "I'd like to give us another chance. I want to do everything right this time; no more misunderstandings, no more hiding our feelings, and no more running away."
Chloe's heart leapt. Another chance was all she wanted, another chance was all she needed, but an ugly thought danced through her mind. "I want that too, Brady," she said letting her sincerity shine in her eyes, "but I'm afraid that I don't have the time to devote to a relationship. I work exhausting hours at the hospital. While eventually my schedule will lighten up, it's going to remain this way for a few years. I don't think it's fair for you to have half a girlfriend."
"Half, whole, I don't care. I just want you Chloe," he stated adamantly. He reached forward and grasped her hands in his. "I don't want to stop you from reaching your goals. I want to help you along the way."
"I know that," she insisted, "but you don't have any idea how demanding residency can be. I was slowly acclimated to the long hours in medical school, but you're used to setting your own timetable for things. I don't get weekends off, and I have to work some evenings. I get really tried and probably crabby too."
A spark of anger leapt in his eyes. "You can't push me away this time, Chloe," he muttered, "and I'm not going to run away from you."
Her eyes widened. She was falling back into that old way of thinking that she had just admonished earlier in their conversation. "I'm so sorry Brady," she cried leaping to embrace him. "I was doing it again. Yes! Yes, I want to give us a chance."
His arms tightened around her, and Chloe felt the lines of tension drain from him. "Just let me take care of everything Chloe," he said, "I've got one hundred and sixty-five ways around your schedule."
"What are you talking about?" Chloe asked drawing back in confusion.
He laughed and kissed the tip of her wrinkled nose. "Never mind," he said drawing her back into his embrace, "I'll explain later."
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Author's Note: WHEW! That was a difficult chapter for me to write. Again, thanks for your great reviews. I read and consider each of them. This story has been very fun for me to write, and there is much more to come in the future. The next few chapters that I've started on and are planning will be lighter in mood (more zany antics by Jules and Belle).