Chapter 20 ~ I Pray
James was running through the halls as fast as his feet could carry him. To him it seemed to be too slow; but to all the kids he left in the wind, he was going faster than a rocket. He kept running as quickly as he could, running and running. Soon he ran into someone. He looked up and was met by the eyes of his best friend.
"Whoa, James! Where the hell do you think you're going? You should be in the hospital wing. Come on buddy, lets get you there," Sirius said concernedly.
"Get the fuck off me Sirius!" James yelled at his best friend.
"Dude… what's wrong?" he asked. James never swore at him like that without a reason.
"That's really none of your business," James retorted, trying to find a way around him.
"I think it is bud, what the hell is going on?" Sirius said while blocking his retreat.
"If you don't get out of my way, I'll never forgive you cause then she'll be dead and it'll be all your fault!" he screamed.
"Who will be dead?!?"
"Lily, now if you want to help, go get Dumbledore and hurry!" James commanded.
"Alright James." And with that, Sirius departed to the headmaster's office and James continued his route to the common room.
When he reached the portrait, he was out of breath and could barely whisper the password. When he finally did spit the password out, he ran into the common room and saw it was empty. He ran up the girls' dorm, but the stairs soon disappeared and became a slide.
"Damn it!" he cursed as he slid down. "LILY! MOLLIE! SOMEONE GET THE HELL UP!!" he screamed at the top of his lungs. "HELLO! WAKE UP! MOLLIE SANDERS GET UP!!"
"WHAT?" Mollie said as she arrived at the top of the stairs. "Oh, hello Potter and a Merry Christmas to you too," she said sarcastically.
"I don't have time for your snide remarks Mollie! Do you know where Lily is?" he asked urgently.
"No I don't, she went away for Christmas, just like you did. Why do you care anyway and why are you back?" she asked skeptically.
"Read the Daily Prophet if you need to know why I'm here. And she must've come back cause she sent me a letter with a school owl. Do you have ANY idea where she could be?" he asked quickly, making everything run together.
"I don't know! Why the hell do you want to know?" she asked, getting really confused.
"I want to know cause that letter she sent me was a suicide note and if I don't find her she may very well die!" he yelled at her, getting very exasperated.
"What? No! She wouldn't!"
"She DID!"
"Um… did u check outside by the lake?" she asked, racking her brain for anywhere where Lily could've gone.
"No I didn't… but I just got an idea. Hurry up and get dress and meet me down here in about two minutes," he said running upstairs to his room. He quickly went into his dresser drawer and grabbed a tattered piece of paper known as the marauders map. He thundered back down the steps and into the common room to find a frazzled, but fully clothed, Mollie.
"What's that?" she asked her eyes full of fear.
"It's a map of the school. It shows where everyone on the school grounds is," he explained quickly. "I solemnly swear I am up to no good," he chanted while waving his wand over the parchment. In no time a map had drawn itself on the paper and a shit load of dots had themselves scattered all over the map. James scanned the map for one dot in particular; the dot that read Lily Evans. He soon found it, but something puzzled him deeply. Right next to it, practically on top of it, was another dot. And instead of a name next to it, there was a question mark.
"Strange," he said, but soon forgot about it when he saw where Lily was. "The Astronomy Tower! Let's go Mollie! You go and get Madame Pomphrey. I hope we don't need her, but just in case," he said softly.
"Shouldn't we get Dumbledore?" she asked nervously.
"Sirius is already getting him, just hurry!" James said as they both began to run out of the portrait hole and to their assigned people. They both prayed that they got there in time.
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Sirius quickly ran around the halls, frantically looking for the headmaster's office.
Where the hell is it? Think stupid! Marauder's Map… next to the… the what? Statue! Statue of… of a GARGOYLE! Okay, what floor was that now? Um… second? No, main floor okay, lets get going.
He soon found the statue.
"Now what?" he asked himself out loud. "Um… open sesame? No… uh… olly olly aux 'n' free? DAMN IT!" he yelled, kicking the stone statue in frustration. "Open the fuck up you stupid statue!" The statue soon opened and out walked the headmaster himself.
"Now, now Mr. Black, there is no reason to attack my dear statue," he said calmly.
"There is when someone's life is in danger!" Sirius replied angrily.
"What? Who Mr. Black?" Dumbledore asked, now fully aware.
"Evans! Now let's go!" Sirius said, grabbing the professor's hand. "Shit! I don't know where to go!" he exclaimed after running around for a little.
"May I suggest, Mr. Black, that we try the Astronomy Tower. I have a feeling she'll try it there again," Albus said, looking older and more tired that the dog had ever seen him.
"Again? Oh god, let's go!" Sirius said running yet again.
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Mollie was sprinting as fast as she could to the Hospital Wing. She knew that this was real and urgent. She didn't know why Lily would want to do this, but she knew that if something got her this upset she would do something like this. Soon, but not soon enough to Mollie, she reached the infirmary. She stood there, completely breathless.
"May I help you Miss Sanders?" the nurse asked in a crisp tone.
"Yes… Astronomy Tower… Lily… jump," Mollie replied while heaving to get her breath back.
"Breathe girl! Now tell me this again?" the nurse ordered.
"Lily has become suicidal and we need you at the Astronomy Tower, NOW!" she said, still panting a little bit.
"Let's go child!" the nurse said urgently, grabbing Mollie by the arm.
Great! Mollie thought, back to running again!
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James was running as fast as he could. His chest had a sharp pain every time his heart beat and he took in a breath, which was about five times every second. His side had a painful stitch in it, but he didn't care. He kept running at full speed, pushing himself to run faster.
"Please God! Let me get there on time!" he pleaded.
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"I asked you for one good reason," she said quietly, "And you gave me one… one reason to do this! I won't have it grow up in this… evil, I refuse! I've known it for too long myself! The world is an evil, dreadful place," she whispered. "Please forgive me," she said almost silently and let herself fall from her standing position on the rail and into the ice cold air, letting it wash her and all her sins away.
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When James reached his destination, he saw nothing. There was no one there. He soon heard footsteps trampling up the stairs and was met by the four people he had sent for.
"She isn't here," he whispered in fright. "She was but…" he trailed off, scared where it may lead him.
"You don't think she…?" Mollie asked. Everyone knew what she meant but no one knew what to say. Finally Dumbledore walked to the railing and looked down.
"Madame Pomphrey," he started somberly, "Go get the hospital wing ready."
"No, she… she didn't. Lily wouldn't!" Mollie started to babble.
"I'm afraid she did," the headmaster replied morosely. "She may still be alive. Every witch and wizard has a sort of… safety mechanism that helps them survive. She'll definitely have some major injuries, but may still very well be alive."
"HOW CAN YOU BE SO CALM?" James yelled at the white haired wizard. She's down there dying and you're just standing there explaining this to us! DO SOMETHING!"
"James," Sirius said, taking a hold of him by the shoulders, "calm down. We're gonna help her."
"Get the hell off me!" James yelled in anguish.
"No, you're going to hurt someone, or worse, yourself. There's no reason to loose our heads over this; it'll only make matters worse," Sirius tried to say calmly but his voice faltered. James collapsed to the floor.
"Just help her!" he said with tears streaking down his cheeks.
"We are James, we are," Dumbledore assured.
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James was sitting in a chair in the hospital wing. Mollie, Sirius and Remus were sitting with him. Remus had run into them on his way back to Gryffindor Tower form the kitchens. They were waiting on Madame Pomphery to give them Lily's status. James palms were sweaty and his knees were bouncing up and down in nervousness.
"What the hell is talking so long?" he finally questioned everyone's thoughts.
"James, that was a big fall, it's gonna take some time to check her," Sirius said, being the voice of reason. He looked James in the eye, looking at him with the most serious expression anyone had ever seen on his face.
"James, Sirius?" Remus started, the first time he talked since he'd found out what happened. "Why are you two even here?"
"I'm here because… because I've realized how incredibly and insufferably stupid I've been," James said.
"I could've told you that," Mollie said, trying to lighten the mood, but not succeeding.
"And you?" Remus said, looking at Sirius.
"'Cause lover-boy here made me get Dumbledore and he needs someone with him."
"Guys, I know this is being weird… but I'm desperate. Lily once told me that before she was here, she was a … cowlick?" James said unsurely.
"Catholic," Mollie corrected, thinking back on all of her conversations with Lily over the years.
'Yea… and that she believed, and still does, that if you pray to God then good things should happen. Not all the time, mind you, but it helps. I think, that maybe we should try it, for Lily," James said quietly. He looked up and saw everyone looking at him in awe. He felt a little embarrassed but soon felt a squeeze in the hand from Mollie. She then also took Sirius' hand who took Remus' who James', they all closed their eyes.
"Dear God," Mollie started, "one of you best friend's, Lily, is hurt. None of us are good at this, but we're asking for your help. She's… she's deathly ill and we just want her to be okay."
"I don't know Lily very well," Sirius said, "but I want to. I've heard she's a wonderful person. She doesn't deserve this, no one does. She may think she does, but she doesn't."
"She's like my sister," Remus continued, "I dunno what I'd do without her now. She's an amazing person whose life is full of enough sorrow. Don't let her life end like this."
"I lover her God," James picked up where Remus left off. By now tears were streaming down everyone's face, even Sirius'. "Don't take her away from me when I've only just gotten to know her. I want to, NEED to, show her how much I love her. I know I'm not the best person, but… just do this, PLEASE!"
I can't quote
the Bible
I skipped Sunday school
And I can't count the times I fell and broken the golden rule
So I don't know if He listens
Sometimes I wonder if He cares
Maybe I'm just wishin'
'Cause I can't even prove he's there
But I pray
He'll watch over my children
I pray
Just to be a better man
To find the strength to rise above
To be there for the ones I love
To forgive and be forgiven some sweet day
I pray
Now I confess I don't bow my head as often as I should
Mostly just when times are bad, rarely when they're good
And I don't hold with too much preachin'
But I was raised up to believe
That a man can't ever stand as tall
As when he gets down on his knees
So I pray
He'll watch over my children
I pray
Just to be a better man
To find the strength to rise above
To be there for the ones I love
To forgive and be forgiven some sweet day
I pray
So I pray
For a world that's gone half crazy
I pray
For every woman child and man
To find the strength to rise above
To teach each other how to love
To forgive and be forgiven some sweet day
I pray
I pray
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Authors Note ~ OMG!! I can't believe it! I can't believe I've actually gotten to chapter 20. I know you all hate me now… but the worst is yet to come. I know you'll all hate me by the time this story is over. If any of you get upset with this because I've had the basic plot figured out before I started writing. I know this chapter is kinda short, but the next one is in the works and is promised to be longer. I've had so many reviews it isn't even funny. Less than 50 more and I'll be at 500! AND I'm on 43!!!! People's favorites list!!!!! I feel so loved and special! Anyway…I best move onto thank yous so I can explain things to ya.
Optical Illusions ~ Lily didn't tell James she was pregnant cuz she doesn't want to feel guilty about it… even tho she will in the end… but all things will be revealed in good time. ;) Now to ur second review… LoL… I don't think u got their in time either.
Lily Bell ~ I'm being threatened again! That must mean I'm doing something right or wrong… I'm hoping it's right. And I know the ending was cruel, but that makes this chapter seem so much better and you so anxious to read it!
Ryan Barton ~ No, you can go ahead and say something bad… I love critizism, as long as you aren't putting ME down personally. I'm glad u like it tho.
GinaToms ~ Thank you! I'm glad you feel so passionately about that. I normally just joke around ya know? Like just now, but thanx for sticking up for me!
Harry's-babe ~ I'm glad you can't be mad… but will u be mad now? Harry WILL come… don't worry about that… I'm not going to change MUCH from JK's ideas.
Starbeam13 ~ First off, ur not annoying… I love reviews like urs, they make me laugh. And I'm sorry to leave you hanging, but that was pretty much my first BAD cliffy.
Hpfrek13 ~ First off, I hate cliffy's too… but some kind of torture needs to happen. Voldemort wants Lily b/c he's heard word that she's a powerful witch and shit like that¸ wants her on his army instead of against it. And Lily didn't tell James yet b/c she isn't ready… that will be explained more later. And don't worry about asking me questions, I don't mind.
Amilianna ~ Hmmm… u r on the right track with the when/if she tells him. I know I suck at updates and all that other stuff… just don't hate me!!
Desthemaraudetette ~ If I do anything in this story that you don't like, then u can flame me for all of eternity. I've had this story planned in my head and the main points of what I wanted to do planned out as well… including what will happen to the baby. I'm sorry ahead of time. :`(
Lisa Meunier ~ I'm sorry if my story seems soap-opera ish. I'm not trying to, but as I've said a few times now, I've had most of this planned out for a while now… just be patient with me.
Freakyfroggurl22 ~ Marshmallows are yummie!
Agloechen ~ yes, I no I'm terrible with grammar and spelling, you know y tho? I get so into the story I get ahead of myself and forget stuff… then everyone pressuring me to update I forget to proofread! AH! Anyway, It's still Christmas, as I think I revealed here.
Hinkypunk2 ~ some things will turn out alrite… I'll tell u one thing, Lily doesn't die! And I hope u like Sirius here, I turned him a little nicer, didn't I?
Lunitapr ~ WOW! So you don't review much? I'm guessing I'm one of a privileged few eh? Well, thanks and I'm glad u love it so much.
LiL'AnGeL1011, elvencherry07, Lady Evil Flame, kat6528, J.E.A.R.Potter, Elisabeth Potter, Star19, LilVickiRyan, ginnyweasly-fan, sailorsunandchildofthesun, Jenngurlie15, jess, misskittyfantastico12889, MegHarts, Zagreb_girl, mintytoothpick, Anarane Anwamane, EledyStar, me, FireFox 37x, lilynjamesAAF, PeRkieGuRl, Mystic Wood, Mirage, RandomCharacter, Leigh, Ccilia, faries of the wood, Delia, kcchirstian, and thyme.
WOW!!! That's a lot. U guys surprise me every time… it seems I get about 50+ reviews each chapie! I feel so loved! Now don't disappoint me, keep up the good reviewing!!
Love u all,
FEAngel