Thanks for the reviews; they make my day :)
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There was a poignant silence as Greg looked at Sara with pity; Sara, in turn, regarded him with disgust.
She didn't want his pity – she wanted his /absence/ - she couldn't do anything if he was there. She expected him to lecture her, tell her how important life was.
But he just stood there, his eyes now fixated on the gun.
"God this happens every time," she drawled.
Greg looked up from the gun, and into her eyes, he was confused. Sure, he knew that she'd be angry and upset – but not like this. She sounded like she not only wanted to hurt herself, but anyone around her.
Her voice broke into his thoughts.
"Every time I need someone, no ones there. Now I want some peace, look who turns up," she said bitterly, throwing up her arms for emphasis.
Greg remained quiet; he had so many things to say to her, but now he was unsure if any would make a difference.
Yes she /was/ at the edge – could he change that? Or could he only exacerbate the situation?
Maybe whatever he had to say was too late.
She was getting annoyed. If he said nothing, she couldn't contest it; and his worried look was beginning to make her feel uneasy.
"Just listen to what I have to say," he finally blurted, not able to stand the silence anymore.
Sara saw her chance and jumped on his statement.
"I've already told you, whatever you have to say, it won't make a difference," she said coldly.
"It'll make a difference to me Sara," he pleaded, then he moved towards her, "if you just go ahead and do…. that…." he paused for a moment and looked at the gun, before continuing, "without listening to what I have to say, ill never forgive myself."
It was the truth.
She gulped, tears started to appear in the corners of her eyes; and her stiff form began to collapse.
And her knuckles were no-longer white; her grip on the gun had loosened.
"I don't understand what's happening to me…I keep seeing it…the explosion; I don't want to keep living through it." She said, looking up to Greg.
"It's ok," he said softly.
"No, it's not! I can't keep all this pain inside." She yelled with infuriation.
"You don't have too."
She sighed, and started looked down to her feet. She cursed her indecision. She was trapped between wanting him to give her hope, and wanting him to say the wrong thing, so she could tell him to leave.
"But it shouldn't matter; I mean, it was just an explosion, I hardly got hurt," she said scalding herself.
"You can't afford to think like that Sara. "He said, his voice serious, and his faced very concerned.
He looked at her and saw the confusion on her face; but she also remained quite, which showed that she was willing to listen. That was a good sign.
He decided to elaborate on his statement.
"When I was 19, my girlfriend broke up with me. I was…heartbroken; she was the first girl I ever really loved." He said, trying to smile through the painful memory.
"And, I really scalded myself for dwelling on it, you know? The usual stuff; she's just a girl, you'll get over it, its not a big deal. Then I began thinking, if that shouldn't matter to me, a lot of other things shouldn't; the clothes I wear, the grades I get, my life…
…But the truth is, you can't really control how something makes you feel; and you have every right to be effected by something…
…Because if you decide nothing is worth having emotions about, you start living dangerously sidle. It's not a safe place to be in." he finished.
Sara looked stunned. She had always seen Greg's character as two dimensional, only now was she suing him in his true colours.
"If we can't care about our own lives what have we got left to care for?" he said with a light smile.
She sighed, and looked down to her gun.
"I don't think I need this anymore," she said, putting the safety back on, emptying the bullets, and placing the gun on the floor. She placed the rest of the bullets on the floor too, all but one, which she slid into her pocket.
"You never needed it Sara."
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Please review.
Hopefully there will be another update in a few days time.
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There was a poignant silence as Greg looked at Sara with pity; Sara, in turn, regarded him with disgust.
She didn't want his pity – she wanted his /absence/ - she couldn't do anything if he was there. She expected him to lecture her, tell her how important life was.
But he just stood there, his eyes now fixated on the gun.
"God this happens every time," she drawled.
Greg looked up from the gun, and into her eyes, he was confused. Sure, he knew that she'd be angry and upset – but not like this. She sounded like she not only wanted to hurt herself, but anyone around her.
Her voice broke into his thoughts.
"Every time I need someone, no ones there. Now I want some peace, look who turns up," she said bitterly, throwing up her arms for emphasis.
Greg remained quiet; he had so many things to say to her, but now he was unsure if any would make a difference.
Yes she /was/ at the edge – could he change that? Or could he only exacerbate the situation?
Maybe whatever he had to say was too late.
She was getting annoyed. If he said nothing, she couldn't contest it; and his worried look was beginning to make her feel uneasy.
"Just listen to what I have to say," he finally blurted, not able to stand the silence anymore.
Sara saw her chance and jumped on his statement.
"I've already told you, whatever you have to say, it won't make a difference," she said coldly.
"It'll make a difference to me Sara," he pleaded, then he moved towards her, "if you just go ahead and do…. that…." he paused for a moment and looked at the gun, before continuing, "without listening to what I have to say, ill never forgive myself."
It was the truth.
She gulped, tears started to appear in the corners of her eyes; and her stiff form began to collapse.
And her knuckles were no-longer white; her grip on the gun had loosened.
"I don't understand what's happening to me…I keep seeing it…the explosion; I don't want to keep living through it." She said, looking up to Greg.
"It's ok," he said softly.
"No, it's not! I can't keep all this pain inside." She yelled with infuriation.
"You don't have too."
She sighed, and started looked down to her feet. She cursed her indecision. She was trapped between wanting him to give her hope, and wanting him to say the wrong thing, so she could tell him to leave.
"But it shouldn't matter; I mean, it was just an explosion, I hardly got hurt," she said scalding herself.
"You can't afford to think like that Sara. "He said, his voice serious, and his faced very concerned.
He looked at her and saw the confusion on her face; but she also remained quite, which showed that she was willing to listen. That was a good sign.
He decided to elaborate on his statement.
"When I was 19, my girlfriend broke up with me. I was…heartbroken; she was the first girl I ever really loved." He said, trying to smile through the painful memory.
"And, I really scalded myself for dwelling on it, you know? The usual stuff; she's just a girl, you'll get over it, its not a big deal. Then I began thinking, if that shouldn't matter to me, a lot of other things shouldn't; the clothes I wear, the grades I get, my life…
…But the truth is, you can't really control how something makes you feel; and you have every right to be effected by something…
…Because if you decide nothing is worth having emotions about, you start living dangerously sidle. It's not a safe place to be in." he finished.
Sara looked stunned. She had always seen Greg's character as two dimensional, only now was she suing him in his true colours.
"If we can't care about our own lives what have we got left to care for?" he said with a light smile.
She sighed, and looked down to her gun.
"I don't think I need this anymore," she said, putting the safety back on, emptying the bullets, and placing the gun on the floor. She placed the rest of the bullets on the floor too, all but one, which she slid into her pocket.
"You never needed it Sara."
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Please review.
Hopefully there will be another update in a few days time.