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Now Sara was safely disarmed, he gingerly moved to sit down beside her. He was glad that she seemed more 'stable' – but she still seemed a bit to dazed for his liking.
She turned to him, and sighed heavily with frustration.
She hated him seeing her like this; she'd hate anyone seeing her like this. It made her feel vulnerable – and she always felt awkward when people tried to comfort her.
"I...I just feel like cant do this life sometimes Greg, its too much for one person," she whispered, her voice a crescendo.
"You're not alone." He whispered, trying to comfort her without saying to much. He'd prefer for her to talk right now; the more she talked, the more he could assess her mental state.
"Yes I am!" she yelled, her voice trembling under the sheer passion she was putting into each statement, "Whoever I put faith in, they leave me. Whatever I think is stable in this life isn't!" she said, and put her head in her hands, as her breathing rate increased.
"Sara, don't your friends count for anything," he question, a little resentment in his voice.
She slowly took her head out of her hands, and looked at him, she was slightly shocked at how serious his voice was. She'd never seen him look that way before.
And she was glad. She was glad someone was actually /talking/ to her, and actually /listening/ to what she said. He was an intellectual breathe of fresh air – he had real insight into things.
"If you…leave, I'll miss you." He said carefully, not wanting to overwhelm her.
She smiled lightly, "that's good to know."
He sighed, and tried to clarify his statement; he needed to make an impact on her, he needed her to see how much she meant to people around her – which was going to be hard to show with such a short space of time, and mere words, but it had to be done.
"A lot of people will miss you, it's just hard for people to find a way to express it. You never know what you have until its gone, right? I promise you that if you left Sara, in anyway, shape of form, we'd /all/ would miss you.
She hung on his every word, trying to breathe it all in. It was comforting to know he cared enough about her to stay, to talk to her.
It would have been easy to call the hospital – or someone from the lab – and get someone else to deal with it.
"I'd miss me too," she said, trying to convince him that she was ok.
Greg frowned slightly at this statement – it didn't sound like she meant it.
"Sara, you need to sort this out. Whatever's bad in your life can usually be fixed; you just need the guts to do something about it." he said, trying to reiterate his early words.
"What do you mean?" she asked, slightly perplexed.
Greg found it hard not to blurt out how angry he was that Grissom left her – but he knew he couldn't do it, it would be wrong – however he also knew he could phrase it in a slightly different way.
After carefully deliberating on how to phrase his question, he spoke;
"If someone stayed with you today, after what happened at the crime scene would you have been holding that gun?" he said, slight anger edging his voice.
She opened her mouth, completely ready to answer 'yes' or even 'probably'- then she stopped. If someone had actually sat her down and had talked to her – she would have listened. She just needed someone to talk to – that was all.
She had a sudden sickening pain in her stomach; what would have happened if Greg didn't arrive when he did?
"No, I probably wouldn't have." She said, looking away, a slight bitterness in her tone.
"Being strong includes knowing your weaknesses, knowing when you need help. You need to ask more from those around you…."
Half way through his statement, Sara clicked onto what he was saying, and interjected, "I understand."
"That's good." Greg quickly replied.
"Just think about what I've said, Just because you're not at the edge any longer doesn't mean you wont be again, think about where you are and where you want to be."
"Thanks Greg; believe me when I say I'm gonna try and sort this all out."
She looked at his, his warm smile. It must have been hell for him, seeing her like that…. Then she stopped; and realised something. She always over-thought situations always thought about how she was taking advantage of people…
"Sorry about all this," she said shaking her head in self-disapproval, "what am I thinking? You've just worked a double shift? You should go." She said, desperate to have some time alone.
Greg sighed, he didn't want to leave her like this, and neither did he want to impose on her.
"Are you sure about that?" He said, looking unconvinced.
"I never asked Grissom to leave, but he did. I need you to leave; I need to think over everything."
"I understand," Greg said, getting up and facing her.
"Thanks so much Greg, for everything," she said, trying not to get to emotional.
He bent down, and picked up her gun, and accompanying bullets
"You don't mind do you?" he said, it was more a statement than a question; he would take it even if she did say no – and if she did say 'no' – he would definitely stay.
"I'm a CSI, I there are many more ways to kill yourself, minus a gun."
Greg furrowed his brows, and his eyes darkened.
"Sorry, wasn't thinking," she mock-apologised, then gave him a beaming grin.
And it was when he saw that expression he knew she was ok to leave for the night, he smiled at her, and walked to the door, feeling satisfied he didn't need to look back.
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Please review; next chapter should be up soon.
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Now Sara was safely disarmed, he gingerly moved to sit down beside her. He was glad that she seemed more 'stable' – but she still seemed a bit to dazed for his liking.
She turned to him, and sighed heavily with frustration.
She hated him seeing her like this; she'd hate anyone seeing her like this. It made her feel vulnerable – and she always felt awkward when people tried to comfort her.
"I...I just feel like cant do this life sometimes Greg, its too much for one person," she whispered, her voice a crescendo.
"You're not alone." He whispered, trying to comfort her without saying to much. He'd prefer for her to talk right now; the more she talked, the more he could assess her mental state.
"Yes I am!" she yelled, her voice trembling under the sheer passion she was putting into each statement, "Whoever I put faith in, they leave me. Whatever I think is stable in this life isn't!" she said, and put her head in her hands, as her breathing rate increased.
"Sara, don't your friends count for anything," he question, a little resentment in his voice.
She slowly took her head out of her hands, and looked at him, she was slightly shocked at how serious his voice was. She'd never seen him look that way before.
And she was glad. She was glad someone was actually /talking/ to her, and actually /listening/ to what she said. He was an intellectual breathe of fresh air – he had real insight into things.
"If you…leave, I'll miss you." He said carefully, not wanting to overwhelm her.
She smiled lightly, "that's good to know."
He sighed, and tried to clarify his statement; he needed to make an impact on her, he needed her to see how much she meant to people around her – which was going to be hard to show with such a short space of time, and mere words, but it had to be done.
"A lot of people will miss you, it's just hard for people to find a way to express it. You never know what you have until its gone, right? I promise you that if you left Sara, in anyway, shape of form, we'd /all/ would miss you.
She hung on his every word, trying to breathe it all in. It was comforting to know he cared enough about her to stay, to talk to her.
It would have been easy to call the hospital – or someone from the lab – and get someone else to deal with it.
"I'd miss me too," she said, trying to convince him that she was ok.
Greg frowned slightly at this statement – it didn't sound like she meant it.
"Sara, you need to sort this out. Whatever's bad in your life can usually be fixed; you just need the guts to do something about it." he said, trying to reiterate his early words.
"What do you mean?" she asked, slightly perplexed.
Greg found it hard not to blurt out how angry he was that Grissom left her – but he knew he couldn't do it, it would be wrong – however he also knew he could phrase it in a slightly different way.
After carefully deliberating on how to phrase his question, he spoke;
"If someone stayed with you today, after what happened at the crime scene would you have been holding that gun?" he said, slight anger edging his voice.
She opened her mouth, completely ready to answer 'yes' or even 'probably'- then she stopped. If someone had actually sat her down and had talked to her – she would have listened. She just needed someone to talk to – that was all.
She had a sudden sickening pain in her stomach; what would have happened if Greg didn't arrive when he did?
"No, I probably wouldn't have." She said, looking away, a slight bitterness in her tone.
"Being strong includes knowing your weaknesses, knowing when you need help. You need to ask more from those around you…."
Half way through his statement, Sara clicked onto what he was saying, and interjected, "I understand."
"That's good." Greg quickly replied.
"Just think about what I've said, Just because you're not at the edge any longer doesn't mean you wont be again, think about where you are and where you want to be."
"Thanks Greg; believe me when I say I'm gonna try and sort this all out."
She looked at his, his warm smile. It must have been hell for him, seeing her like that…. Then she stopped; and realised something. She always over-thought situations always thought about how she was taking advantage of people…
"Sorry about all this," she said shaking her head in self-disapproval, "what am I thinking? You've just worked a double shift? You should go." She said, desperate to have some time alone.
Greg sighed, he didn't want to leave her like this, and neither did he want to impose on her.
"Are you sure about that?" He said, looking unconvinced.
"I never asked Grissom to leave, but he did. I need you to leave; I need to think over everything."
"I understand," Greg said, getting up and facing her.
"Thanks so much Greg, for everything," she said, trying not to get to emotional.
He bent down, and picked up her gun, and accompanying bullets
"You don't mind do you?" he said, it was more a statement than a question; he would take it even if she did say no – and if she did say 'no' – he would definitely stay.
"I'm a CSI, I there are many more ways to kill yourself, minus a gun."
Greg furrowed his brows, and his eyes darkened.
"Sorry, wasn't thinking," she mock-apologised, then gave him a beaming grin.
And it was when he saw that expression he knew she was ok to leave for the night, he smiled at her, and walked to the door, feeling satisfied he didn't need to look back.
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Please review; next chapter should be up soon.