The next morning, Harry awoke, still freaked out by the muggles writing books about his life. Then a heavy hand knocked on his door. Uncle Vernon came in.

"Get up, boy. We're going to the mall," he said.

"Why?" Harry asked.

"Dudley's getting new clothes. Now hurry up!"

Uncle Vernon slammed the door as he left. Harry dressed, and went downstairs. Then he and the Dursley's piled into the van and drove off.

They went into the mall, which was full of teenagers, mostly. Harry followed behind the Dursley's, but that was a bad idea. He heard a thousand screams behind him and when he turned around, he was nearly flattened by the colony of girls screaming his name.

"HARRY POTTER!"

"I LOVE YOU!"

"MARRY ME HARRY!"

Harry couldn't believe what he was hearing. On instinct, he turned and ran away. The girls, unfortunately, followed after him. Harry ran as fast as he could, knocking down maniquins, garbage cans, and 50%-off sale signs to slow them down, but they were unstoppable.

"HARRY---ouch!---I LOVE YOU!"

Then he came to a dead end. The crowd of girls had become larger, opposite of what he was hoping for. So he decided to take it like a man.

Harry let out the shrillest, highest scream a boy could ever make. The mirrors around him exploded, windows came crashing down from above like falling stars—.

Harry: Hey! That's not what happened!

Quidditchgurl260: Well, what really happened is no good!

Harry: Why not? I was saved right?

Quidditchgurl260: But just falling over "dead" is boring!

Harry: So?

Quidditchgurl260: I'm trying to make up for my other stories!

Harry: The Frodo Baggins one?

Quidditchgurl260: Yes.

Harry: It wasn't that bad.

Quidditchgurl260: But it was boring in the middle! And don't lie!

Harry: Well...

Quidditchgurl260: See? Now can I continue?

Harry: Fine!

As I was saying, everything was blowing up because of Harry's girly scream. All the girls recoiled in pain and disguist at Harry's un-manliness Then a woman stepped forward, holding a pen and writing pad.

"HARRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" she shouted.

Harry stopped screaming.

"What in heavan's name do you think your doing?!"

"Who are you?"

"I'm J.K. Rowling," she said. The girls around her gasped and bowed down to her, chanting her name.

"The muggle who wrote all those books?" Harry asked.

"That's right, Harry," she said. She seemed to be writing everything down. "And I don't think that blowing up a mall with your girly scream is a good way to start out book 6."

"Why are you stalking me?" he asked.

"I'm not stalking you, Harry," she said, still writing furiously. "I'm creating you. Everything I write in this pad is what happens to you. Watch: 'Harry walked forward two steps.' ''

Without any control over it, Harry took two steps forward. He looked up.

"This is crazy!" he said. Then his heart fell. "Than I'm...I'm just a robot. I do what you write down to do. Don't I even have my own thoughts, or...or freedom?"

"If I stop writing, Harry, you won't exist."

Harry's heart beat rapidly. He couldn't believe it...he wasn't really living, he was just a toy. Everything he had ever done was because of one woman.

"I don't believe you!" Harry shouted.

"Denial, Harry. That's the first stage of hearing devastating news. I'm sorry, but it's true."

Harry wished he had never known this. "But what about my friends? Are they the same way?"

"Everything that's in your life, Harry: Hogwarts, the students, Diagon Alley, even the Dursleys. That's why they're not here at the moment."

"So everything is under your command?"

J.K. Rowling nodded. Then she took from her pocket...a wand.

"Now, if you don't mind, this twist won't work out for my books, so...obliviate!"

Harry: What the freak was that, Quidditchgurl?

Quidditchgurl260: I don't know...it is past my bedtime right now, so I feel all high and stuff.

Harry: It's weird...but it works! R/R EVERYBODY!!!!