Susan put her third cup of coffee on the table and sat down on the couch. The coffee table was piled high with her to-do list. She'd decided to make the most of Mark's absence and get up to date on a few things – like putting photos in albums, a bit of medical reading, reorganising the cookbooks, sorting magazines – to keep or to get rid of…she had to keep busy to keep from missing him or worrying about him. She took a sip of the coffee then put it back down dramatically and picked up the phone, dialling the number from a scrap of paper beside it.

"Hello" Mark picked up a little out of breath after the fifth ring.

"Hey." Susan breathed.

"Oh, hi. I was gonna call you, I just…" she could hear Rachel in the background, laughing. "I was just gonna put Rachel down for her nap – can I call you back?"

"Yeah. Sorry." She hung up, not sure if she was disappointed or not. Ten minutes later the phone rang.

"Sorry it took so long – she wanted a song."

"Well, I can hardly complain, I often ask for the same thing."

Mark sighed, relieved that Rachel was quiet and he had a few minutes, maybe half an hour to talk to Susan.

"So how's it going?"

"Oh, y'know." He replied half-heartedly, hoping his exhaustion wasn't as obvious as it sounded to him.

"No – that's I'm asking."

"About as good as can be expected."

"You okay?"

"Yeah." He lied but knew he couldn't keep it up, "I just feel like I'm intruding. I don't belong here. I just want to bring Rachel home with me and escape now. Jenn and Craig are all too aware of how busy and important they are – so as much as I want to leave, I don't want to leave Rachel here."

"I wish I could do something."

"You do – you're the light at the end of the tunnel as far as I'm concerned. I just wish you were here."

"Are you still coming home tomorrow?"

"Yeah." He sighed again. "I'm so tired. I need… I need you."

Susan didn't know what to say to that.

"Tell me I'm doing the right thing."

"You are an amazing dad when you're given the chance. I've seen it. Jenn must be blind – I mean she gave you up in the first place, and now she can't see how important you are to Rachel – or visa-versa. She's a fool. You're too nice about it."

"Maybe, but I didn't want to fight with her – you know? It never gets anywhere. It just makes things worse. But when it comes to Rachel my first instinct is that she's worth fighting for."

Susan swallowed. She wished she had the answer. "You're amazing."

"No I'm not."

"Yes. You are. I've known you for years and you continue to surprise me. In all this you're only worried about Rachel."

"No I'm not – I mean that's partly it – but I'm worried about me too – I know I'll miss her like crazy. I should be there on her first day of school and for parent-teacher interviews, and to terrify her first boyfriend, and embarrass her on her birthdays and…" his voice trailed off. "See, I'm just being selfish."

"I love you." Susan whispered.

Mark took a controlled breath, like he was struggling not to cry. "Thank you. You don't know how much I needed to hear that."

"Daddy?" Susan could just hear Rachel's voice.

"I'll let you go." She said

"Come here honey." Mark said to Rachel then, "Hold on a sec," to Susan. He lifted Rachel onto his knee, holding the phone under his ear with his shoulder. "Do you want to say hello to Susan?" Rachel nodded.

"Hello Susan."

"Hey Rachel. How are you?" Susan smiled

"I'm okay. I moved house."

"I know. Is it a nice house?"

"I liked the old one better – but this is bigger."

"Oh. And are you having fun with Dad?"

"Yeah." Rachel laughed. "We had icecream for breakfast."

"Shhhh!" Susan could hear Mark hiss and she laughed.

"And Daddy said I could come stay with you and we could go iceskating again."

"Good. I'd like that." Susan said.

"Okay. Do you want to talk to Daddy now?"

"Okay. I'll see you later."

Rachel gave the phone back to Mark but stayed nestled on his lap.

"Ice cream eh?"

"Yeah, well I said she could have whatever she liked – and you know I couldn't go back on my word." He explained half-heartedly. "Just don't tell your mum about breakfast." He ticked Rachel who squirmed for a second then snuggled closer to him.

"So what else have you been doing?"

"We did a bit of shopping and then went to the park and she exhausted me, brought me home and made me eat my lunch before my nap. Oh, wait I think I got that muddled."

Susan laughed. "You know those baby books say that you should sleep when your kids do."

"Sounds wise."

"Okay, well I'll let you go have your nap. And I'll pick you up from the station – at four right?"

"Yeah. Oh, and thanks."

"What? For picking you up?"

"No, I meant for cheering me up – for calling and all. I needed to talk to you. You're good for me."

"Okay, goodnight sleepy-head."

"Bye." He grinned and dropped the phone onto the sofa, carrying a dozy Rachel up to her room to resume their nap.