Do you want to know who's great? Sabriel. Not only does she do a fantastic job as a beta, but she can put up with me going AWOL for months. Without her encouragement, updates for this would probably be even slower than they are.

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"Grissom," she murmured, suddenly feeling as if her strength had left her. It was one thing to propose great change, she realized, but another to actually confront it and carry it out.

He looked up from a book he was paging through, but didn't say anything.

She hated that - the way he acknowledged her presence without any commitment. If it were anyone else, she would have received some kind of welcome.

But not him.

What made him special? Why could he get away with being so antisocial?

Because he's your boss. You hate to admit it, but you admire him, the way he can rise above everything.

"Do you want anything?" His voice broke into her thoughts, and she shook her head, trying to untangle her disorganised reflections.

"Yeah…" she responded, grasping for words.

His eyes tore into her own.

She broke the contact by turning and closing the door behind her. Then, without looking him in the eye, Sara moved to sit across from him.

She brought herself to look at him.

And she felt it again.

The almost-tangible electricity. She felt isolated when she looked at him, as though it was just them, nothing else mattered. But she knew she couldn't get caught up in it. She could let herself feel like this when they were alone, but elsewhere…it was too dangerous. She willed herself to suppress her feelings, but they flooded through her despite her attempts. Sometimes she wondered if it was love, or confusion, or just something that couldn't be definable.

"Why did you leave me?" she asked. "I…I could have done anything."

His expression darkened a little. He rested his head in his hand and, avoiding her eyes, he stared down at his desk.

"But you didn't." Despite his confident words, the question was clear in his tone as he replied.

…You have no idea…

She sighed; she knew what would ensue from here. She would attempt to get him to talk to her, and he would turn questions back at her.

"Tell me why you left me…" she shouted, frustrated by his lack of response.

"You didn't need me there, you needed space… I could see that," Grissom listed defensively. He was becoming visibly agitated; his eyes were wandering around his office, looking for some means of escape.

"Oh, come on! We both know you're more perceptive than that!" Snarling, she left her chair and turned her back on him.

Stay calm. If you push him too far, he'll just force you to leave.

"And we both know why I couldn't stay," he rebuked, rising to his feet. He walked over to her, and waited for a response.

He was wrong. She wasn't sure. Her mind was mixed up, lost between the reality and the fantasy; she never knew if she was remembering things she'd said to him, or that she was just recalling things that she wanted to say.

"Trust me, you're gonna have to spell it out." She hoped that they were the right words. What else could she say?

"Because I don't trust myself with you," he said dejectedly. Grissom gritted his teeth and looked down to the floor. He knew he was cornered.

The look of pain on her face dissipated, and was replaced with one of relief. She looked up at him; gently, she touched his face, and brought it up to look at her own.

She was calm, her expression now forgiving. "Then why don't you do something about it?" she said, closing the inches between them, letting her hand wander to his collarbone.

He closed his eyes, and his breathing slowed. His awareness of the outside world faded. All he could feel was her…. all he could sense… was her. He could feel his body relaxing; he hadn't felt like this in a long time.

But then he felt it. The pull. The fear of what could happen if he allowed anything to happen with her. The fear that if he had her, he could never let her go.

"Because," he began, opening his eyes, "…I can't." He sighed, and, stepping back, carefully removed her hand from his body.

Her bottom lip trembled, and she felt her body begin to shake. She was on the verge of tears, but steeled herself. She was not going to cry.

"Then…this is it," she said, trying to hold back the fury that tempted to erupt in place of her tears. "Stop caring about me. Stop…just…just don't feel anything for me. Know that 'this' is gone." Her anger fading into sadness with every word, she finished in little more than a whisper.

"Sara…"

"No, don't. Don't pity me." With that, she ran blindly from the room.