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Pain
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Dark. Pain. Hard to breathe.
Trying to move…more pain.
Where was this?
Drifting away from consciousness again, and then fuzzily becoming aware again….
Over and over…
Couldn't see a thing. Only pain.
A screaming headache. Throbbing pain in the shoulder and chest and leg.
Breathing was painful. Shallow, slow breaths.
Sharp pains with each breath that shot sharp pains through the continuing throbbing pains.
Dark.
Hard to think.
Hard to concentrate.
Can't focus.
Need to focus.
Need to do something besides just pass endless time in unending pain.
There…she felt her right hand moving slightly.
Painful, but a huge accomplishment.
Slow, shallow breaths.
Focus.
Moving the hand and arm now. Reaching sideways….fingers touched her pack and materials laid out beside it. Her fingers found her gun…and then her water bottle….then…there, her flashlight. Wrapping her fingers around it, she grasped the flashlight and flicked the on switch and was rewarded with a bright beam of light that made her squint to protect her dilated eyes that had been trying futilely to grasp any light in the complete darkness of this cave.
Allowing her eyes to focus on the wall, floor and ceiling of the cave, she slowly swept the light over what had been the entrance to her cave…and what was now looking more like a tomb…. From her prone position on the floor, she could see nothing but a wall of rubble sealing off the entrance. From top to bottom and from side to side, the opening appeared completely sealed.
Sighing gently, she lowered the flashlight and gazed upwards. It didn't really make any difference, actually. She wasn't going anywhere with her injuries, and the rest of the SGC personnel had gone through the wormhole – and she hoped fervently that they had made it out safely. Especially, the Captain and the two Lieutenants.
And, realistically, the burial of the entrance would actually ensure that she wouldn't be captured and/or tortured by any Jaffa who might have managed to survive the explosions. More pain was definitely a good thing to avoid over her last few hours. She'd always dreaded the possibility that any of them might have to spend their last few hours in the torture of one of the Go'a'uld. There was some comfort in knowing that she wouldn't have to face that. No ribbon devices. No pain sticks. No endless questions by arrogant, demonic, egotistical all-around-super-bad-guys.
Hmm… it was easier to focus now. Her thoughts were clearing a little. She wondered how long she had been unconscious…or drifting in and out just below consciousness…? Unfortunately, her watch was on her left wrist and there was no way she could lift that arm.
So she just lay back and continued to concentrate on slow, shallow breaths.
Her left shoulder and arm felt intensely hot and 'on fire.' Adding the pain from her broken leg, broken ribs and the crack she'd taken on her head… the pain was making her nauseous. Oh, yeah, and she'd almost forgotten the knife wound in her right thigh…from before the leg had been broken. The knife wound explained why her leg was feeling warm….probably infected.
She was going to have to take something for the pain, or her last few hours would be spent unconscious. Setting the flashlight down carefully, she slowly opened the pack with her right hand. Because she couldn't sit up, she turned her head a little towards her right side, but mostly progressed by touch and her familiarity of the basic military gear. Opening the pack, she pulled a few items out. Out came a few MRE's, and the thought of food made her even more nauseous. Then her fingers recognized the med kit and she slowly pulled it out.
Opening the med kit, she felt around for some pain tablets of some sort. Aspirin, tylenol, advil, motrin…something…she found some morphine ampoules…that would work on the pain, but it would also probably knock her unconscious or at least back into the realm of fuzziness that she'd just come out of. So, the morphine was out. She didn't want to spend her last few hours unaware. She didn't want to slip away without at least a little more time to think about things.
Finally finding a packet of motrin, she tore the packet open with her teeth and put the two tablets in her mouth. Shakily opening the water bottle one-handed, she dribbled a little water into her dry mouth to help her swallow the pills. Water dribbled down her chin and down the side of her face, but she got enough in her mouth so that she could get the pills down.
Placing the water bottle back at her side, she slowly twisted the cap back on one-handed while staring at the ceiling. Thinking about the flashlight, she wondered how long the batteries would last. A few more hours? She had spares batteries in her pack, but one-handed she wasn't sure that she could negotiate opening the flashlight and exchanging the batteries. On the other hand, it was a lot better in here with some light. A whole lot better than the complete and utter darkness.
She couldn't tell if the pills were having any effect yet. She was tempted to take a couple more, but again, she didn't want to drift off into muzziness for her last few hours. So the pain would have to stay. Gazing up again, she focused on slow, shallow breaths.
She wondered where the Colonel, Daniel and Teal'c were. It seemed like it had been so long since she'd last seen them…..When -had- she last seen them? Letting her mind skip backwards through the past days and events, she realized that she couldn't really couldn't pin down how much time had passed since SG-1's last mission.
Her universe had skewed from anything like normal operations since that last mission. She wondered what had happened to the rest of SG-1. The last that she could remember of the Colonel was the bombing run on the mother ship. Captain Wilson, and the rest of the rescue team that helped her off the planet, had let her know that the Colonel had delivered the bomb on target and that they had returned to base safely. Captain Wilson had told her that he believed that the Colonel had been immediately recalled to SGC headquarters almost as soon as their ships had finished taxiing on the Tokra base runway. So, what had happened to the Colonel after that? She had no information.
And she hadn't seen Teal'c or Daniel at all since SG-1's last mission. It was so hard not knowing what had happened to everyone. They were a team and she wanted to be with them, to help them, to cover their sixes. To assist with any firefights, or emergencies. To know that they were allright.
She wondered what they knew of where she'd been since they last stepped through the gate. She'd been the one living her life over the past few days and she could hardly keep it straight. Especially with a couple of periods of extended unconsciousness.
Of course, they probably knew how her past few days ended. Assuming that her recent teammates had made it back to the SGC. Colonel Roberts, or Captain Heidall or one of the two Lieutenants or even someone from one of the other squads would be able to tell them that she'd been here.
Sam hoped that they were safe. That the Colonel, Daniel and Teal'c had made it through all of this and that they were safe. She wished that she could see them one more time, to talk with them, to tell them that she loved them. She knew that she was so lucky to have been able to work with them. To have been able to spend some of life's journey with them.
Aaaaaaaaccccccggggghhhhhh…….she couldn't hold a small groan back.
The pain was intense.
Waves of nausea assaulted her.
Throwing up would make things so much worse, however.
Her ribs couldn't take it, nor would she be able to handle the pain of doubling over.
Slow, shallow breaths.
She looked at the flashlight again.
It didn't seem to be getting much dimmer.
How much time had passed while she lay here thinking?
She had no idea. Minutes? An hour or so? She couldn't say.
She looked at the flashlight again and she knew that when it first started to dim, she wouldn't notice much as her eyes would compensate for as long as they could. She would only begin to notice the dimming light when the batteries were close to winking out.
Unsure of how the timing was going to work out….unsure of whether she or the batteries would fade away first, she slowly moved her right hand again.
Slow, shallow breaths.
Slowly moving her hand and arm back into her pack, she searched for the extra batteries. Finally securing them in her grasp, she dragged them out and placed them next to her. She still didn't think that she'd be able to manage opening the flashlight and replacing the batteries with only one hand, but she figured that she'd try if she had to. Right now, trying that one-handed sounded better than lying here in the dark listening to her rattling breaths.
The heat in her leg was increasing. The pain in her shoulder was so intense she couldn't believe that she was still conscious. She knew that burns were one of the most painful ways to die. Thank god she only had burns on one shoulder.
The broken ribs continued to set off pain receptors with every breath. The waves of nausea increased and she thought her body's autonomic responses might force her to double over and retch. Slow, shallow breaths…. She didn't retch, but it was so, so close. Intellectually, she knew that she would only feel worse if she reflexed into retching spasms. The added pain would probably end up putting her unconscious again, as well.
Slow, shallow breaths.
Slow...shallow... breaths.
Time to focus the thoughts again.
She thought back over the events since the last SG-1 mission. Again, things seemed to be a jumble, with missing stretches, some of which she knew were missing because she'd been unconscious.
Trying to get it in focus.
Trying to get it in sequence.
Trying to make sense of it all.
It was as if the fabric of her space-time had ripped as a strong current flooded through and she'd been swept and bounced along the rocks of time… and missions.
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====o0o==== End Part 6 ====o0o====
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