.

Trying to get it in focus.
Trying to get it in sequence.
Trying to make sense of it all.

It was as if the fabric of her space-time had ripped as a strong current flooded through and she'd been swept and bounced along the rocks of time…. and missions.

====o0o==== End Part 6 ====o0o====

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Part 7: Fortitude

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It had all started with that mission to P..4?..X...-653.
She knew she had the 653 correct.

She let her mind skip over the highlights. They'd arrived to a large welcoming crowd which had escorted them the 6 miles to the town square. The four members of SG-1 had been separated as each was surrounded by a shifting throng of outwardly friendly and pleasant natives.

When they'd reached the town square, there had been a few toasts and welcoming greetings and fairly short speeches.

The drink had been laced with something. It was initially subtle and she didn't recognize the problem… she'd just had a little trouble concentrating.

And, then the 'tests' began. The Colonel and Daniel were escorted towards a building similar to a City Hall. She and Teal'c, on the other hand, were escorted to a large temple.

Once inside, she and Teal'c were separated – apparently they were to undertake separate 'tests'. Teal'c was led off down a corridor while she was escorted to a small room with a narrow bed. Asked to wait, she initially sat patiently on the edge of the bed, but the fuzziness in her mind grew and she eventually lay back and stared drowsily into space.

How much time passed here… she couldn't say.
Time lost meaning.
Her thoughts wouldn't track.
She couldn't focus.

And then, their religious leader, Mortat, had escorted her from the room and out into the central ampitheatre inside the temple. She followed while struggling with her mental muzziness. She wanted to ask questions, but her mind wouldn't stay focused long enough. The thoughts, questions and words would form, but then she'd lose the thread and her mind would drift off… momentarily forgetting her mental discontinuities.

He led her quietly across to a central raised dias with what looked like a large rectangular oversized doorframe. She had never seen such a structure in the center of a temple before and she wondered idly what it signified to the local culture and religion. But then that thought drifted off just like her others.

She knew something was wrong.
It was obvious.
But she couldn't string enough coherent thoughts together to say or do anything about it.

She was barely keeping herself vertical.
Her eyes and mind slowly moved from thought to thought.
Some connected, some not.

Mortat was talking. Not quite chanting…more like religious oratory. If he was speaking to her, she wasn't hearing a word of it. His voice became one of the distractions that her mind would light upon for a few seconds before drifting off again.

A bowl of something was now in front of her.
She inhaled the vapors and a part of her mind seemed to … to…
No, no… she still couldn't focus her thoughts…
but… her senses seemed heightened…
…her vision seemed sharper…colors more vivid…objects seemed closer…
…scents assailed her… sweet, pungent, spicy…
…her nerves jangled and she could feel the air against her skin…

Without coherent thought her mind drifted from sensation to sensation.

Mortat's voice continued in its non-stop oration and she still couldn't focus on any of the words. She could hear, but she couldn't listen. But she couldn't focus enough to even get frustrated.

Her mind drifted.

Her eyes drifted over the objects in the room and she was vaguely aware of crowds of people filing in and taking seats all around the amphitheater. They must have some sort of event occurring shortly, a short thought flitted across and then faded when she tried to follow it. The moving people became shifting blurs as her mind drifted off.

She could feel them taking her jacket and vest off of her.
She wanted to ask why…but then… she forgot.
She could see them placing her things on the ground alongside a stone bench.
Trying to let them know that something was wrong, she struggled to control her arms, legs, or her voice. But…then she lost that thought too.

Next, she felt herself being turned around and her arms were pulled above her head and secured to the top corner of either side of the rectangular frame.

Mortat continued speaking. His voice had been a constant backdrop. She stood, half hanging from the restraints holding her arms up. Blinking her eyes to try and clear her eyes and to try and clear her thoughts. And then, the mental fugue seemed to ease, just a bit, and she took more of her weight on her feet. Her eyes focused with her mind and she saw hundreds of people seated quietly watching her and listening to the oration.

Mortat was preaching. He was giving a sermon of some sort while she stood there on display. Shaking her head slowly, she tried to focus on what he was saying so that she could figure out what was going on. Putting bits and pieces of his oration together, she surmised that this was going to be her 'test.' Obviously. D'oh. She silently tried to shake more of the cobwebs loose.

These 'tests' were obviously not what the previous SG teams had expected.

No one had mentioned anything about what was clearly going to be some kind of torture.

"….Major Carter, of the Tauri," her name caught her attention, "will undertake the Test of Fortitude…," and then he continued his sermon or oration. She wondered what the others were facing and hoped it was nothing like what she feared was coming here. She tried to speak, but either her vocal cords were paralyzed or her mind was still not completely in control, because she accomplished no sounds… and then her mind drifted… and she looked up at the restraints securing her arms and she tugged on them experimentally. They were tight and strong. The rectangular frame looked like it was built of solid naquadah. There was no way she was going to cause any damage to that. Scanning the room, she didn't recognize anyone but Mortat – and he was now moving to stand behind her. Scanning the faces of the 'audience', she was met with quiet, respectful gazes, but noone looked sympathetic nor like they might want to help her out.

And then it was quiet.
Mortat had stopped speaking.
Her stomach clenched.

SEARING PAIN and a loud snap. The whip slammed into her back and sliced through her black T-shirt and into her skin. Grunting with pain she staggered forward a half step and pulled at the straps holding her arms up.

Then a solid blow landed and pain shot through her torso again.

And then another blow and then the searing pain of the whip sliced into her back.

She began to regain her focus as the pain quickly swept away the fuzziness from the drugs.

Her vision blurred and she was barely standing as the beating continued. Solid blows intermixed with the slicing whip. She was having trouble breathing now, her back was a searing mass of pain and her torso ached.

How did this prove fortitude?
She had no idea, and she just tried to live through it.
Surely it would end.
Everything ends sometime.

She lost track of time.
This was one of the places where she lost the thread of normal time-space.
She seemed to have slipped out into a different thread of reality.
One like the replicators were trapped in.
Where minutes stretched to days.

She was hanging from the straps now.
She'd lost her feet and she wasn't standing anymore.

Eventually, it did end.
She couldn't say when.

She could feel herself drop forward – they must have released the straps holding her arms up. She was being moved and then she was laid gently face down on that stone bench next to her gear.

She lay there limply.
Unable to move.
Only -just- conscious.

It was hard to breathe against the pain.
Even harder lying on her stomach.
But she vaguely knew that she couldn't lay on her back…
…something was wrong there.
She couldn't remember just what.

Staring in the direction that her head had ended up, she saw Teal'c walk into the path of her eyes. He didn't say a word. His face was impassive, as always, but his eyes were full of anguish and sympathy. She saw him come to her side and kneel by her shoulder. She thought he whispered something, but she couldn't hear it. She tried to give him a small smile to let him know that she was ok, but she couldn't tell if she succeeded.

Pain ripped through her back.
They were touching it with something.
Not the whip or the club again, this was gentler and a bit cooling.
Water? Yes, maybe water.
Teal'c was watching her face and eyes closely, trying to give her comfort with his presence.

She could hear Mortat's voice droning on again.
And more time passed.
Someone, (Teal'c?) continued to stroke her back and the pain continued along with the cooling sensations.

Her head was clearing again and she seemed to get some strength from somewhere. She started to try to move but Teal'c gently held her down with his hand on her arm while keeping his eyes locked on hers. She quieted and put her trust in him.

And then, something caught Teal'c eyes and he looked up and over her. Looking beyond him, she could see that the 'audience' was filing out.

Apparently, the entertainment was over.

Mortat came over and looked her in the eyes and spoke directly to her, "Major Carter, you have performed extremely well. Our people were impressed beyond expectations. I do not believe that most expected you to remain conscious throughout the entire Ytrudinal. You are a very strong individual and we await the results and remainder of the testing with great hopes for our peoples."

She did not respond.
She just returned his gaze without rancor.
What was the point?
The damage was already done…to her back at least.
And she really couldn't do anything about it all right now anyway.
She wasn't going to be jumping off this bench to shout her angry indignations at him.
She knew that standing at all was going to be a challenge.

Yelling at anyone was just going to have to wait.

They allowed her to lay there for awhile longer while Teal'c continued to try and clean her back. She wondered how horrible it looked. Probably just as well that she couldn't remember seeing a mirror since they'd arrived on this planet.

After awhile, Mortat returned and laid their gear on the ground near the two of them. "It is time to go back to the gate, if you are ready, Major Carter. We will rejoin the rest of your group back in the main town square."

Ahhh…so now she could try and get up. This time, Teal'c did not stop her, but actually helped lift her into a sitting position on the side of the bench. Dizziness washed over her from the movement from prone to vertical. Teal'c steadied her as her heart worked a little harder to get the blood up instead of just across.

"Do you think you can stand, MajorCarter?" the Jaffa asked softly.

Not answering immediately, she pursed her lips and then "Well, let's give it a try and then I'll let you know," and she started to lever herself up off the bench. Teal'c actually carried most of her weight as she moved into a vertical standing position and then he released her weight slowly as she took it onto her feet and legs. Still maintaining a strong grip on her arm, he waited patiently while she stood next to him concentrating on just breathing and trying to ignore the screaming, tearing pains in her back and lower ribs.

Teal'c slowly let go of her and watched her carefully. "I think I've got it Teal'c," and she took a cautious step forward without falling down.

He then reached down and brought up her jacket and helped her get her arms into the sleeves. Pain seared through her back as the material settled onto her flayed skin. Holding her gun, he waited patiently for her to tell him to hand it to her. When she did, he gently pulled the strap over her head and let her take the weight of the gun. Seeing that she was set, he leaned down and picked up his pack and shrugged it onto his back. Next, he swung her pack over one of his broad shoulders and picked up his staff.

"I am sorry, Mr. Teal'c," Mortat interposed, "but the testing is not complete. Major Carter must carry her own materials on the walk back to the Gate. The testing will be complete when we reach the gate."

Carter shut her eyes for a moment and then opened them again. Teal'c was looking at her quietly. He would follow her lead here. He would refuse if she requested it. Or he would allow her to assess whether or not she could walk back to the gate with her pack. He respected her right to make the decision herself.

She wondered what would happen if she refused. Another ritual? What did they do to those who failed? Would there be repercussions for the other members of SG-1? Would they whip one of the others and make them complete her 'test'? She looked at Mortat. What would happen if she asked him? Would she be showing weakness? Would she fail her 'test' and would that mean that one of the others would have to suffer for her failure?

She didn't have enough information.
And she was tired.
Her back was screaming in pain.

And, again, she came back to the same answer.
She was going to have to walk out anyway.

The pain was excruciating but she wasn't ready to ask Teal'c or the Colonel to carry her.
She figured she could walk out.
She knew she could walk out.

It was just a matter of dealing with the pain.
The pack was going to make it much worse, however.

Gesturing to Teal'c, "Let's put it on," and he helped her get the pack snapped into place to the back of her vest. Finally, he lowered the pack's weight onto her slowly. She took the weight and gritted her teeth against the pain. "I think I'm could use a little Kel-nor-reem focusing help," and she gave him a small, tight smile to let him know that she was going to be able to do this.

For a moment, the Jaffa did not move as he appeared to be weighing the options but then he met her eyes and held her gaze for a moment and then nodded his acceptance and respect for her decision.

They walked out of the temple and then back through the town. More and more of the townsfolk joined their procession through the streets until they made it back to the town square where the Colonel and Daniel were surrounded by their own crowds.

Inspecting them quickly from across the crowd, they looked allright, but it was difficult to tell. Neither of them looked hurt, but then she doubted that they would have a clue by looking at her what had happened back in the temple. Sighing, she realized that she'd have to wait until they got back to the SGC to find out what had happened to her teammates. Hopefully, it was nothing like her 'test.'

Daniel and the Colonel smiled at the return of their teammates but they were prevented from speaking to each other as Mortat quickly got the entire crowd moving back towards the gate. She focused on the people around her and putting one foot in front of the other.

The walk back was excruciating, but she actually found strength in her walking stride. Her legs were not injured and she was in good physical shape… or, at least, she had been…

During the long walk back, she let herself drift between the questions being tossed at her by the natives walking around her. She answered their questions and allowed herself to let the familiarity of striding along give her some solace.

The pain was constant and the pack was torturous. But she knew that she'd make it to the gate and still be on her feet. She'd make it back to the SGC and let them sort it out. She wondered what the higher levels and bureaucrats would think of all this back on Earth? Would they want to pursue an alliance with these people? What direction do diplomatic relations take after something like this? Were the people of Earth supposed to be honored? Was she supposed to be honored? She knew, that if this -was- supposed to be an honor, then it was an honor that she could have done without. Following that line of thought, however, she realized that she wouldn't have wanted any of her teammates to have had to go through it either. So, if someone had to get the short straw, she'd just as soon it was her.

She started, realizing that they were back at the gate. The natives were still surrounding and milling around them all. Mortat began orating again and it sounded long and sonorous to Carter, but his people all listened respectfully. Then Daniel spoke and he must have felt that he needed to get across a lot because he went on for what seemed forever. Then the Colonel said a few words. And then Mortat was speaking again as one of his assistants dialed the gate for them.

The giant ring spun and locked and then spun back and locked and then spun again and locked on each successive coordinate. The assistant touched the central stone of the DHD and the wormhole flushed outward and then settled back. The rippling surface beckoned welcomingly. Carter keyed the GDO and sent the necessary signal to the SGC and then the four of them climbed the stairs and with a look back, they stepped through.

The moments in the wormhole were a comforting rush of twisting dizziness, followed by the appearance of the SGC gateroom and the exit ramp. She and Teal'c stepped out just behind the Colonel and Daniel.

The Colonel took a quick glance behind him to make sure that she and Teal'c had arrived and then he quickly stepped down the ramp to join the General and some officers that were obviously waiting to speak to him. She saw Daniel following a few steps behind the Colonel.

Pausing at the top of the ramp in relief, she started to get try and get her pack off her back. Teal'c was immediately at her side and he lifted the pack off her shoulders and waited while she extricated her arms from the vest. She gave him a grateful look while he set her vest and pack on the floor.

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Back in the cave, Sam remembered that her plans to drop herself into the care of the infirmary were temporarily delayed when two gate technicians had asked her to look at some diagnostic readouts that seemed to indicate the cause of some problems they had been having the previous week.

Teal'c had waited a few moments for her, but she had given him a look that told him that she'd be ok and that she'd be along in a few minutes. Trusting her, he had joined Daniel and the next time she had looked up, all of the other members of SG-1 and the General were gone. Must have been something important, but she really wasn't too curious, at least not right now. She figured that if she needed to know anything, they'd let her know. That's the way the military operated.

For now, they'd completed their mission. She didn't know if she'd passed her 'test.' And she didn't know if the others had passed their 'tests.' She still didn't even know what tests they'd been subjected to or whether or not any of the others were injured.

Her back was sort of numb now. Sort of.
A sort of numb pain.
She figured her back was a mess of cuts and bruises, but she knew that she'd live.
She'd had worse before. Much worse.

Pausing a moment before heading out of the gateroom, she turned and looked back at the Stargate. In spite of every torturous thing that had happened over the past several years, the Stargate itself still filled her with wonder. The beautiful impossible physics of its reality still caused her to stand in awe of what the universe was capable of.

Turning back, she looked down at her pack and then leaned down and picked it up and trudged down the ramp. Just as she reached the bottom of the ramp, Colonel O'Keefe entered leading SG-8 into the gateroom at double time. Behind her, the gate was spinning up a new address.

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====o0o==== End Part 7 ====o0o====

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