.

Turning back, she looked down at her pack and then leaned down and picked it up and trudged down the ramp. Just as she reached the bottom of the ramp, Colonel O'Keefe entered leading SG-8 into the gateroom at double time. Behind her, the gate was spinning up a new address.

====o0o==== End Part 7 ====o0o====

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Part 8: Soldiering On

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Pain. More and more pain.
She looked over at the flashlight. Was it getting dimmer?
How long had she been lost in her recollections of that last mission?
The light didn't look dimmer to her, but she really had no idea how long she'd been staring into space.

Pain. The pain was radiating across her chest from her shoulder and the pain from her broken leg and knife wound was traveling down to her foot and up to her chest. The fire in her leg was also increasing. Probably the infection spreading.

Slow, shallow breaths. She continued to try and keep the calm and focus that Teal'c had helped her learn during their Kel-nor-reem sessions. Slow, shallow breaths.

Of course, they were supposed to be slow, measured, deep breaths. But she was doing what she could under these conditions. Deep breaths right now were not an option. So, she'd just try to control her breathing. Try to control some of the pain.

How long had it been since she took those pain meds? She thought about taking a couple more. The pros and cons of relieving some of the pain but perhaps losing consciousness for her last few hours. She decided to let the flashlight make the decision. If she was still conscious when the batteries needed to be changed, she'd take a couple more pills before attempting to swap out the batteries with her one good hand.

Pain, pain, pain. Waves of pain. Fire burning across her pain.

Neverending pain.

She tried to focus her thoughts again.
How long had it been?
Her memories of the past few days and weeks were muddled and fractured.

Focus.
Stay awake.

The pain clouded her thoughts and threatened to take away her last few minutes.

Focus on something.
Try to unravel the jumble, try to remember.

She let her mind drift back to the scene at the bottom of the gateroom ramp.

==========================

Colonel O'Keefe entered leading SG-8 into the gateroom at double time.
Behind her, the gate was spinning up a new address.

And, then she couldn't believe it when Colonel O'Keefe had ordered her to fill in for his stricken teammate. She had had trouble putting words together. She remembered telling him that she was injured, but he hadn't believed her for some reason. And that was strange. She hadn't expected his reaction. O'Keefe had pulled rank quickly and ordered her to grab her pack and fall in with his team.

Stunned she watched the 3 able-bodied members of SG-8 walk quickly up the ramp and through the gate. With no choice unless she wanted to disobey a direct order, and leave SG-8 a member short, she'd put her pack back on so that it settled into its normal position as she walked back up the ramp. Now, her back was on fire, and her mind was numb. She knew that she wasn't thinking clearly. Taking one more look around the gateroom, she hastened to follow SG-8.

Stepping through the gate, she found the Colonel waiting impatiently for her to arrive. As soon as she was through the gate, he took point and signaled for the rest of them to fall in behind. Silently falling into line behind the others, she fumbled a bit in her pockets and took out some pain tablets and dry swallowed them. Hoping that the tablets would tamp down on the fire and pain in her back, she tried to find that Zen of Walking…letting the strength of her conditioning and training carry her along. Now that she was here, she wanted to be able to lend help and assistance to any of SG-14, or SG-8, if they needed it. Even Colonel O'Keefe…she sighed internally.

And then it started raining. Not a light spring rain. Not a warm tropical mist. No, this was cold, driving rain. She almost smiled. This -was- a bit over-the-top. Something in the universe was definitely twisted.

When they finally found the stranded and injured members of SG-14, Sam pitched in wherever needed. She kept her vest on while helping with the belays, but the ropes still caused excruciating pain. Images of her rending flesh popped into her head and she hurriedly pushed them out. Making herself focus on the task at hand. Trying to use the pain to help her focus.

They had to pull two of the SG-14 members up off the steep hillside-cliff. After getting them up the hillside, they tended to the injuries of the other two members of SG-14 and then they quickly packed up and picked up the two stretchers and headed back towards the gate. Each member of SG-8, with Sam, had one end of a stretcher. The footing was slippery and more difficult to negotiate heading downhill while carrying a stretcher. The rain did not let up and the fading light quickly bled away into the night.

The pull and jouncing weight of the stretcher on her arms was tearing at her back with each step. The rain and dark kept anyone from noticing that anything was wrong with her and, besides, she knew that there was no one else to take her load. She wouldn't give up carrying the wounded SG member unless she passed out.

Her back was screaming in agony and her muscles felt like they were being shredded. Again, she forced herself not to think about what her back must look like by now. She was still walking, so it couldn't be all that bad, right? Right. Mmmhhmmmm…

Again, she lost track of time. They slogged through the trees and the forest litter and the driving rain in the dark. Her back was a constant flaming agony. Perhaps the fire from her back could provide a little light for them to see their way? No, that wouldn't work, she'd have to walk backwards and twist her head around. Uh oh, her thoughts were getting pretty weird, and that scared her more than the pain. Was she starting to lose it? She was feeling feverish, but she figured that was from the apparent fire in her back… Infection? Could it have set in so soon? So soon…….how much time had passed? Was it too soon? Or…..

She just didn't know.
Put one foot forward.
Put the other foot forward.
Then the next foot.
Then the next foot.
Step. Step. Step.
Ignore the pain.
Ignore the pain.

That was not working.

Okay…how about, Use the pain?
Use the Pain?
Great idea….but how and what for?
Use the pain for focus.
Use the pain for determination.
Use the pain…

She was losing it….Okay, think about the poor guy on the stretcher. Focus on him. The injured man had a broken leg, broken collarbone, probable concussion and several broken ribs. Looking down at him, she could see that he was grimacing with each jolt of the stretcher. He was in much, much worse shape than she was…and he wasn't complaining, now was he? Okay, this would work. This was pulling her mind off the screaming pain in her back and shoulders.

"Major," she called to the injured man," and he focused his eyes on hers. "We're almost… there. You're going… to be warm,… dry and in… Doc Frasier's hands… in no time."

He gave her a weak grin in reply and then his face contorted in pain as the stretcher jolted hard in their grasp as the man in front slipped a little on the wet muddy ground. Sam had to work hard so that they didn't drop the injured man into the mud.

"You know," she continued to the injured man, "You probably…… should have…… signed up for…. the easier A-ticket rides,….. I'm not sure…. that I would have….. chosen the E-ticket…. thrill rides,…. if I was in your……. shape," she tried a little humor and was rewarded with a stronger smile in return from him.

Step, jolt, pain.
Step, jolt, tearing pain.
Step, jolt, tearing burning pain.
Step, jolt, pain.
Pain. Pain. Pain.
The Stargate must have been moved.
Or Colonel O'Keefe was a little lost.
Step, jolt, stumble a little as a rock under her foot twisted, ooohh…twisting made the tearing pains even more intense.

"So, Major," she spoke to the injured man again. She knew that they both needed the distraction, "beings that… you are a… … captive audience,… .. how about if… … … I tell you… … about the mission….. that we went on last month……..where the Colonel. ..and Daniel… …were painted purple… … … by the natives of P1X-926?" Seeing the humor and encouraging look on his face, she spent the rest of the walk amusing the injured man with the story of their mission to 926.

When they finally reached the Stargate, they were all completely soaking wet and the rain simply ran down their bodies as the storm continued. She was shivering from the cold while she was sweating from the fire in her back.

They dialed Earth and could not connect.
They tried again and still could not get through.

"Sir, the SGC gate is probably in use, so, perhaps we should try to get to the Beta Site and then we can gate home when they finish whatever they are dealing with now?" She suggested to Colonel O'Keefe.

O'Keefe nodded and gestured to his Lt. to follow her suggestion. A few minutes later and the gate whooshed open and they had a beautiful blue rippling pool of reflection waiting for them. She sure hoped it wasn't raining at the Beta Site.

They picked up their stretchers and stepped through the gate to the Beta Site.

-------

Once at the Beta Site, they took their SG-14 charges directly to the infirmary building/tent. The medical personnel swarmed over the injured men as Sam and the members of SG-8 were pushed out of the way. With everyone busy with the more seriously injured, Sam debated whether to find a chair to sit down on to wait until someone could look at her back… or whether she should scare up some dry clothes in the meantime. Sitting around in these wet and cold fatigues sounded miserable. Her decision was helped along by one of the nurses who shooed them all out of the infirmary and told them to all go and get showers, clean dry clothes, some food and sleep, and then they could come back to find out the status of the men that they had rescued.

Following SG-8 out of the infirmary, the men headed to the male barracks and Sam headed to the quartermasters for some clean, dry clothes. After securing the clothes, she headed to the female barracks and stripped off the wet, muddy clothes – all except the black T-shirt and her bra. She knew that she'd have to let the doctors deal with that. The other dry clothes were wonderful… pulling them on, however, required that she stretch her back, and that caused more agony.

And, then she let herself sit on the bench for a few minutes. Dry. Well, mostly dry. A lot drier than she was a couple of hours ago. And it was quiet here, too. Dry and quiet. Out of that driving rain. She wondered how many hours had passed since SG-1 had arrived on 653. It seemed like a week ago.

She was tired. Very tired. Exhaustion washed over her and she wanted desperately to just sack out on one of the empty beds in the barracks. But she knew that she needed to get someone to look at her back. Probably needed to start on some antibiotics, too. And, they could give her some -real- drugs for the pain. That sounded -real- good.

Picking up her stuff, she walked slowly back across the compound and back into the infirmary. The medical personnel were still busy with all of the members of SG-14 and it looked like another couple of SG personnel had come in with new injuries. Watching quietly and staying out of the way, she looked for a place to wait until someone was free for her to explain things to. Eventually, she found herself sitting on one of the infirmary cots near the end of the small ward. The lighting was not fully on down here and the bed was calling to her. Finally, succumbing to the need, she lay face down and fell asleep immediately… more like passed out, actually.

Sometime later (she'd lost track of time again), she could hear someone calling to her. Shaking her and trying to talk to her. But they sounded so far away, she figured that they'd come closer if they were serious about talking to her. For now, she just wanted to sleep. And then, she knew that they were taking her clothes off – she knew because of the pain that shot through her with every movement. Why wouldn't they just leave her alone for awhile. She just needed to sleep. Then they could talk to her and do whatever else they wanted. Just let her sleep for a bit. Just a little bit.

The pain ripped through her. They were examining and cleaning the wounds on her back. The pain was intense. They were still trying to ask her questions, but she couldn't make out their words. She tried saying something, but all she accomplished were unintelligible mumbles and groans.

The pain was intense.
Why couldn't they just leave it alone?
It hurt, but not as much as when they touched it.
She'd rather they just left it alone.
Leave it alone and let her sleep.
She tried to tell them that, but they couldn't understand her.
And, then she drifted off into the dark as the morphine they gave her took hold.

==========================

Pain. That was one of the familiar elements of her recent adventures, she mused as her eyes wandered over the shadows of the cave roof and wall.

The pain she had now made that earlier back pain seem almost trivial. She knew that it hadn't been trivial. But the pain now was real pain. P A I N. One of the wonders of the human body. How there seemed to be almost no end to the ability of the human body and brain to feel pain. Pain could even be felt in arms and legs that had been amputated. Pain could be felt in limbs that didn't exist anymore.

Slow, shallow breaths.

Slow……. shallow……… breaths.

Nauseous, and…whooooaaa…..some dizziness added to the ensemble. She was probably severely dehydrated, she realized. Perhaps she could manage a little water. Slowly turning her head to assess the position of the water bottle, she slowly and carefully moved her right arm over and laid her hand on the water bottle.

Time for a rest.
Slow, shallow breaths.

OK, now, twisting the cap off and then she brought the canteen up to her face. Her hand was shaking from the effort. Some of the water sloshed out, but she finally got it to her mouth and she was able to take a few small swallows. Again, water also went down the sides of her face, but it was cool and she wasn't worried about running out. She knew she wouldn't last that long.

The burning and fire seemed to have spread across her body and she couldn't differentiate the pain from her shoulder and her leg anymore. There was more of a deep aching and throbbing pain now. She wondered what that meant. She wasn't a medical doctor, so she couldn't diagnose the symptoms. But it was obviously getting worse….and she had expected nothing else.

Slow, shallow breaths and she took another assessing look at the flashlight. She thought it was definitely dimmer, now, but it didn't look like it was in danger of going out immediately. Letting her eyes settle back on the space above her, she thought back to those earlier injuries to her back and the Beta Site infirmary. Dry, clean and with antibiotics and drugs, she had -thought- that the worst was over.

And she let her mind drift away from this Go'a'uld planet and back to her memories of the Beta Site… she'd 'lost' track of some more time there…

==========================

She was half-awake, laying in bed in the Beta Site infirmary.
Muzzily letting her mind drift between errant thoughts.
Slowly, she realized that the pain was muted.
The fire was tamped down.
She felt heavy and her brain felt thick.
And, then she drifted off again.

Sometime later, she awoke. Truly awoke this time. She assessed… she'd rolled over onto her side… she could feel an aching pain in her back, but it wasn't overwhelming… she was tired and was probably going to fall back asleep soon… a nurse noticed that she was awake and came over and said hello, "Major, I am Nurse Chipley, how do you feel?"

Why did they ask questions that they really already -had- to know the answers to? "Much better, thanks," she mumbled around her thick tongue and dry throat and then she coughed from the effort. The nurse held a cup for her and she sipped a little water. "Thank you," she said more easily.

"Major, now that you are awake, I am going to go and get the doctor, I'll be right back," and she stepped out of Sam's sight and returned a few seconds with a young, male doctor in tow.

"Major Carter, I am Doctor Lugorn," he introduced himself with a friendly smile.

"Doctor," she acknowledged respectfully.

"Major, we found and treated some pretty bad wounds on your back…," and he paused for her reaction, so she nodded to let him know that she was aware of them (how could she not have been?), "…I just need to make sure…do you know if you have any other injuries? We checked as carefully as we could, but I want to make sure that we haven't missed anything."

"No, there shouldn't be anything else," she confirmed for him.

"OK, then what we need to do next, is inspect the status of the cuts on your back and change the dressings," and he gestured to the nurse who brought over the bandages, ointments and other medical equipment. While the doctor began taking the bandages off her back, the nurse bustled around and took Sam's vitals…pulse, BP, etc.

Behind her, the doctor was moving slowly and trying to cause her as little discomfort as possible. "So, Major, what mission did this happen on? I should include that in my report."

"Uh…," and she stopped…the numbers and letters weren't coming to her…and they should…she tried to concentrate… "653…P4X-653," and she was proud of dredging that up. It couldn't have been that long ago, so why was it so hard to pull the planet's designation up?

Aaaaaa! OW! Pain shot through her back and she flinched violently. "Sorry," the doctor spoke gently and she could hear the apology in his tone.

"It's ok, I just wasn't expecting it…" she said in a low tone through the pain. There were a few more times where the pain shot through her back, but she was a little more prepared and she stopped herself from reacting very much so that the doctor could finish as quickly as possible.

"Well, that should do it for now, Major," he said as he finished taping the new layer of bandages down. "You had a pretty good fever last night from the infections, but the antibiotics appear to be already taking effect and your fever is now only slightly above normal. The pain in your back is going to be pretty fierce over the next few days and we're going to put you on some strong painkillers for awhile."

"When can I head back to the SGC?" she asked hopefully.

"We'll probably send you back tomorrow, if possible, Major," he smiled encouragingly at her, "but I want you to realize that we will be sending you to the SGC infirmary, where you will spend at least another couple of days before anyone will be willing to allow you to go home…," he finished with an admonishing look at her.

Tempted to roll her eyes at him, she just smiled a little and said, "Thank you, Doctor. I appreciate all you have done. I really felt like crap last night and you and your staff have been wonderful."

He nodded in acknowledgement and he looked a little amused. "Major, you didn't come in last night, you came in yesterday….a little over 24 hours ago, actually. We've had you on some strong pain medications since we found you here 'napping' on one of our cots." He shook his head in amazement at her perplexed expression. The human body always amazed him. She'd been in a tremendous amount of pain and she'd drug herself to the infirmary, but once here, she'd just fallen asleep on one of the beds. He couldn't remember ever having a patient do that before. But, then, these SGC soldiers were a tough breed of their own. From the damage to her back, he knew that she'd walked with a full pack for many hours while her back had been continually ground up. A part of him wanted to know the details of the mission she'd been on, and another part of him knew that he really, really didn't want to know how such a beautiful woman could end up with such horrific wounds.

"For now, Major, we're going to give you a little more pain medication and you need to get some more sleep," he continued.

"You just told me that I've been asleep for 24 hours or so, doc!" she reminded him.

"Well, unconscious might have been a more accurate term. And your body needs time to heal and recover from this trauma. So, you'll just have to humor your body and bow to its demands. The mission is over, Major. You are officially on downtime, now. You are now the property of the SGC Medical Personnel." He attempted some light-spiritedness with his patient and he was pleased to see her respond positively.

"Yes, sir. Reporting for sleep duty, sir. No arguments, sir," she responded with a smile. "….tomorrow is another matter, though, doc," she promised with the smile still in place.

"Understood, Major, we'll talk again later. Just let the nurse know if you need anything," and he stepped off to take care of some of the other patients.

The nurse then stepped over and injected something into her IV. Seeing Sam watching her, "Just a little something to help with the pain and to help you sleep, Ma'am. When you wake up, we'll see about getting you something to eat that doesn't come through a tube in your arm."

"Thank you," Sam mumbled as she drifted off again.

==========================

Sometime later, she awoke again.

As the room came into focus, she realized that she was in the Beta Site infirmary. -Still- in the Beta Site infirmary, she realized as the events of the past few days filtered into her awareness.

Tired. She still felt tired. And her back ached and burned a bit. The painkillers were apparently wearing off a bit. As her head cleared more, she thought about what she should do next. Perhaps, try sitting up? She was lying on her stomach, so she tried moving slowly onto one side. Not too bad…the bandages pulled tightly, but the pain in her back didn't get too much worse when she moved. Next, to try sitting up on the side of the bed. Slowly…slowly, she didn't want one of those low blood pressure dizzy spells to plant her on the floor. They'd probably tie her down to keep her from doing anything that stupid again.

There. She was sitting on the side of the bed and she was pretty sure that she was going to stay there. There didn't seem to be any tendencies to collapse ungracefully in any direction…yep, she was holding it vertical. So she just sat there for a few minutes, proud of her major accomplishment.

Her mind was spinning up to a more normal speed now. She was starting to think…of getting out of here and getting back to the SGC. What were the Colonel, Daniel and Teal'c doing? Did they know where she was? Colonel O'Keefe had surely told them. She wondered what had been happening at the SGC that had prevented SG-8 from being able to gate home to earth from the rescue mission. Were the other members of SG-1 involved?

Her stomach rumbled and she realized that she was pretty hungry. That was another thing she couldn't remember – when was the last time that she'd eaten anything solid? The last thing she could remember, was breakfast before SG-1's mission to 653… Yep, she was going to have to investigate this time-space slippage thing that she was experiencing. There must be something to it, she thought in amusement at herself.

"Major Carter??!," Captain Beckforce stopped suddenly by her bedside.

"Yes, Captain?" she responded with a small smile at his expression.

"Major, we were wondering where you were! The Tokra and the Colonel are going to be glad to see you!" He continued excitedly, "The Tokra have put together a mission to take out 3 Go'a'uld motherships simultaneously and they are scrambling pilots from all over. The Tokra and Tauri will fly 3 simultaneous sorties. Colonel O'Neill is leading one group, Mr. Teal'c is leading the second group and I believe that Major Ferretti is leading the third group." She listened quietly as he rattled off the information quickly.

"Ma'am, I have been instructed that if you were found, and not on a mission, that I was to ask you to join up to fly on one of the sorties. I don't know to which you would be assigned, but they desperately need pilots," and he paused and waited for her reaction.

She didn't respond immediately. She -had- wanted to know what the rest of SG-1 were doing. She just hadn't expected to have another mission presented so quickly. Taking a few moments, she assessed herself. Her mind seemed pretty clear now and the fuzziness from the pain and drugs was falling away. Her back still ached and burned as she knew it would for days.

"Any idea how long the mission is to last, Captain?" she asked for more data.

"Well, they should be taking off about 21 hours from now and then the flight to the mother ships will take a few hours and then it will take another few hours to fly back to base….?", he estimated for her.

"Captain, I'm going to be straight with you. I'm not 100%. I have some injuries from my last mission (or two, she thought). How about if I go with you to the Tokra staging area/glider base and we'll reassess when we get there? If it turns out that they need another pilot, and they think that I can be of use, then I'll pitch in where they need me."

"Yes, ma'am," he replied.

"In that case, Captain, I'm going to have to ask you to go and get me another clean set of clothes and an equipment kit, gun, etc. I need everything, including boots," she instructed and then gave him her clothing sizes.

"Yes, ma'am," and he hurried off.

A few short minutes later, he returned and handed her a set of clothes and then said that he would assemble the rest of her equipment and bring it to the gate.

After the Captain hurried off to take care of his other last minute scavenging duties, she stood up slowly and tested her legs. Standing… OK. No weaving, no listing, no dizziness. Stepping around slowly, she pulled the privacy curtain closed and slowly changed from the hospital gown into the new set of clothes.

That done, she looked around her infirmary cot and her eyes spied some medicine bottles on the small tray next to her bed. Yup, antibiotics and pain meds, with her name and instructions for dosage and frequency. Pocketing the pills, she looked around for something to write on. She figured she should at least leave the docs and nurses a note.

Of course, she could simply go and find one of them… they probably were just around the corner…but she knew that they'd object loudly and vociferously to her departure…especially to go off on a mission. Finally finding a prescription pad and a pen, she scribbled a note of thanks and apology to the doctor and nurses and then set the note on the center of her bed before heading out of the infirmary while mumbling to herself about time-space physics and the improbabilities of her life.

Walking up to the Beta Site gate, the Captain was waiting with a large mound of materials and equipment, a couple of SF's, and two other officers. Beckforce introduced the other two officers as additional pilots that he had scrounged from the Beta Site. Carter smiled at the Captain's enthusiasm and resourcefulness. Someone had assigned the right man for this task.

As they were dialing the gate address for the Tokra base, Sam thought about the few details that the Captain had related about the upcoming mission. Hopefully, she could make a better assessment of the situation when she got there. If nothing else, she was looking forward to 'touching bases' with the other members of SG-1.

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====o0o==== End Part 8 ====o0o====

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