"So what's your secret?" Carol joined Susan at admin.
Susan just looked confused – how did Carol know?
"How'd you get off work yesterday? Kerry was foul to everyone but you."
"Oh. That. Um, long story. Wanna grab a coffee on your break though?" Susan picked up her next chart.
"Yeah – I'm due for a break in five actually."
"Okay, I'll meet you in the lounge as soon as I can." Susan walked off.
**
"So, is everything okay? I mean are you…?" Carol sipped her coffee.
"Oh, yeah I'm fine. Actually it's Mark. We were ice skating a couple of nights ago and he fell. Anyway, he got a CT cause he gave his head a decent whack…" Susan put her coffee down and took a breath. This wasn't getting much easier for the telling. "They found a tumour in [enter medical jargon here – basically a part of his brain that they know the name for and I aint got a clue]"
"Oh my gosh."
Susan didn't say anything. There was nothing to say.
"Well, is it bad?"
Susan shrugged, "They're doing some tests but we don't really know – except they said we'd caught it early so he's got a good chance, but…" she sighed, "hardly keeps away the worry." She tried to joke.
Carol put her arm around her friend. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'll be fine." Susan leaned into the much-needed comfort.
"Are you sure?"
"Mark's the one with the brain tumour but he seems to be coping better than me in all honesty."
"It's only cause you love him. He'd be a mess if you were sick – hell, he was, it wasn't that long ago."
"I want to be strong – that's what he needs, you know? But I don't think I've got it in me."
"Well, I'm here if you need me." Carol hugged her friend as she cried.
"Thank you." Susan sobbed.
"Hey, I was looking for…" Doug burst in to the diner. "What happened?"
Susan pulled back and looked at him then nodded at Carol to tell him.
"Mark's sick." Carol said simply.
Doug sat down beside them, "Is it serious?"
"They don't really know. They found a tumour – in his brain." Carol bit her lip; aware she was telling a very close friend.
Doug's mouth dropped open and he blinked in disbelief. "What?"
Susan turned to look at him. "He fell over skating, had to get a CT and we're just lucky we found it this early." She tried to be positive.
"So it's early?"
"Yeah. He has a good chance, they said."
"So is he… okay?"
Susan nodded, "He's holding up pretty good." She smiled through the tear stains on her face. "You know Mark."
"Yeah, he's a good guy but hardly mr tough guy." Doug reached out and touched Susan's shoulder – his first instinct, to heal.
Susan smiled, "He's got some fight in him yet."
"It's gonna be okay." Doug insisted, "It's got to be okay, this is Mark. He's too… na, he'll be fine. I'm sure of it."
"Should we visit?" Carol virtually ignored Doug.
"Not yet." Susan looked unsure. "I'll let you know. He doesn't even know I've told you – I just hope he doesn't mind – I can imagine he'd try to pretend nothing was wrong."
"Well, thanks for letting us know anyway." Carol squeezed her friend's hand. "Hey, how did Kerry know?"
"Oh, she was the only ER doctor on when we first came in." Susan explained.
"Oh, so that's why you took off." Doug clicked.
"Yeah, for the MRI."
"Man. Never thought I'd hear that." Doug sighed. "Is there anything I can do?"
"Cure for cancer?" Susan teased. "Na, just be there when he needs you. And pray."
"I didn't know you believed in that stuff." Carol cocked her head to one side.
"Desperate times." Susan gave a half-hearted smile. "It's strangely comforting and right now I'm up for pretty much anything."
"Voodoo and glass balls?" Doug joked
"No my Aunt was into that – put me off forever – boy was she a… an interesting specimen." Susan replied in all seriousness.
"Oh." Doug didn't know what to say – always a pleasure.
Carol laughed at him. "I better get back to work."
"Yeah, me too." Doug stood up. "You going to be okay?"
"Yeah, I've got another ten so I'll catch you inside." Susan sat back in the booth. 'That went okay.' She breathed a sigh of relief. 'Now I just have to tell Mark. God, I wish there was more I could do. There's actually NOTHING. Ugh, I hate being useless.' She squeezed her empty paper coffee cup in her hand. 'Oh, God, please do something. Just something. There's got to be something. Ugh, I'll just go see him.' She sighed and walked out of the diner. The ambulance bay doors and the bustle of people were a bit too much so she went up the stairwell fire-exit.
When she found Mark she was still puffing from her run up the stairs.
"You okay?" He asked, smiling to see her.
"Oh, yeah. I took the stairs."
"Yeah but, you've been crying."
"Oh." Susan sat beside him. "That."
He took her hand.
"How can you tell anyway?"
"Your make up."
"Oh, crap." She put one hand to her cheek, wiping away the mascara she imagined was smudged across it, then the other.
"It's okay." He insisted, taking her hand. "But why were you crying?"
She looked at him like it was a stupid question. "I told Doug and Carol." She admitted.
"Oh." He didn't give away whether or not he minded.
"Carol asked me what was going on and I couldn't lie to her – I really needed to tell someone. Then Doug walked in and…"
"It's okay. They're my friends – they should know. But I should probably tell Jenn and Rachel – I just want to know what it is – you know? I don't want them to worry more than they have to."
"Fair enough."
"Yeah."
"So how's it going?"
"I feel like a lab rat." He grinned goofily.
She smiled at him, loving him more every moment. "Any word on results?"
He shook his head. "They don't tell me much – well, except, they suggested this clinic in New York. I'd fly over for a few days. If I had surgery that's where I'd have to go too."
"Oh." Susan didn't know what to say. She hadn't really thought about surgery. The risks were huge – well, too much for her comfort. But then none of this was comfortable.
"I was going to go down stairs – talk to Kerry about some time off."
"I will. I'd like to come too."
"Susan, I have to fly there."
"So…? I'll be fine. It's not important."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, absolutely."
"Cause having you there would be the best I could ask."
"I'll be there." She reached over to hug him. "I love you. So much."
Susan just looked confused – how did Carol know?
"How'd you get off work yesterday? Kerry was foul to everyone but you."
"Oh. That. Um, long story. Wanna grab a coffee on your break though?" Susan picked up her next chart.
"Yeah – I'm due for a break in five actually."
"Okay, I'll meet you in the lounge as soon as I can." Susan walked off.
**
"So, is everything okay? I mean are you…?" Carol sipped her coffee.
"Oh, yeah I'm fine. Actually it's Mark. We were ice skating a couple of nights ago and he fell. Anyway, he got a CT cause he gave his head a decent whack…" Susan put her coffee down and took a breath. This wasn't getting much easier for the telling. "They found a tumour in [enter medical jargon here – basically a part of his brain that they know the name for and I aint got a clue]"
"Oh my gosh."
Susan didn't say anything. There was nothing to say.
"Well, is it bad?"
Susan shrugged, "They're doing some tests but we don't really know – except they said we'd caught it early so he's got a good chance, but…" she sighed, "hardly keeps away the worry." She tried to joke.
Carol put her arm around her friend. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'll be fine." Susan leaned into the much-needed comfort.
"Are you sure?"
"Mark's the one with the brain tumour but he seems to be coping better than me in all honesty."
"It's only cause you love him. He'd be a mess if you were sick – hell, he was, it wasn't that long ago."
"I want to be strong – that's what he needs, you know? But I don't think I've got it in me."
"Well, I'm here if you need me." Carol hugged her friend as she cried.
"Thank you." Susan sobbed.
"Hey, I was looking for…" Doug burst in to the diner. "What happened?"
Susan pulled back and looked at him then nodded at Carol to tell him.
"Mark's sick." Carol said simply.
Doug sat down beside them, "Is it serious?"
"They don't really know. They found a tumour – in his brain." Carol bit her lip; aware she was telling a very close friend.
Doug's mouth dropped open and he blinked in disbelief. "What?"
Susan turned to look at him. "He fell over skating, had to get a CT and we're just lucky we found it this early." She tried to be positive.
"So it's early?"
"Yeah. He has a good chance, they said."
"So is he… okay?"
Susan nodded, "He's holding up pretty good." She smiled through the tear stains on her face. "You know Mark."
"Yeah, he's a good guy but hardly mr tough guy." Doug reached out and touched Susan's shoulder – his first instinct, to heal.
Susan smiled, "He's got some fight in him yet."
"It's gonna be okay." Doug insisted, "It's got to be okay, this is Mark. He's too… na, he'll be fine. I'm sure of it."
"Should we visit?" Carol virtually ignored Doug.
"Not yet." Susan looked unsure. "I'll let you know. He doesn't even know I've told you – I just hope he doesn't mind – I can imagine he'd try to pretend nothing was wrong."
"Well, thanks for letting us know anyway." Carol squeezed her friend's hand. "Hey, how did Kerry know?"
"Oh, she was the only ER doctor on when we first came in." Susan explained.
"Oh, so that's why you took off." Doug clicked.
"Yeah, for the MRI."
"Man. Never thought I'd hear that." Doug sighed. "Is there anything I can do?"
"Cure for cancer?" Susan teased. "Na, just be there when he needs you. And pray."
"I didn't know you believed in that stuff." Carol cocked her head to one side.
"Desperate times." Susan gave a half-hearted smile. "It's strangely comforting and right now I'm up for pretty much anything."
"Voodoo and glass balls?" Doug joked
"No my Aunt was into that – put me off forever – boy was she a… an interesting specimen." Susan replied in all seriousness.
"Oh." Doug didn't know what to say – always a pleasure.
Carol laughed at him. "I better get back to work."
"Yeah, me too." Doug stood up. "You going to be okay?"
"Yeah, I've got another ten so I'll catch you inside." Susan sat back in the booth. 'That went okay.' She breathed a sigh of relief. 'Now I just have to tell Mark. God, I wish there was more I could do. There's actually NOTHING. Ugh, I hate being useless.' She squeezed her empty paper coffee cup in her hand. 'Oh, God, please do something. Just something. There's got to be something. Ugh, I'll just go see him.' She sighed and walked out of the diner. The ambulance bay doors and the bustle of people were a bit too much so she went up the stairwell fire-exit.
When she found Mark she was still puffing from her run up the stairs.
"You okay?" He asked, smiling to see her.
"Oh, yeah. I took the stairs."
"Yeah but, you've been crying."
"Oh." Susan sat beside him. "That."
He took her hand.
"How can you tell anyway?"
"Your make up."
"Oh, crap." She put one hand to her cheek, wiping away the mascara she imagined was smudged across it, then the other.
"It's okay." He insisted, taking her hand. "But why were you crying?"
She looked at him like it was a stupid question. "I told Doug and Carol." She admitted.
"Oh." He didn't give away whether or not he minded.
"Carol asked me what was going on and I couldn't lie to her – I really needed to tell someone. Then Doug walked in and…"
"It's okay. They're my friends – they should know. But I should probably tell Jenn and Rachel – I just want to know what it is – you know? I don't want them to worry more than they have to."
"Fair enough."
"Yeah."
"So how's it going?"
"I feel like a lab rat." He grinned goofily.
She smiled at him, loving him more every moment. "Any word on results?"
He shook his head. "They don't tell me much – well, except, they suggested this clinic in New York. I'd fly over for a few days. If I had surgery that's where I'd have to go too."
"Oh." Susan didn't know what to say. She hadn't really thought about surgery. The risks were huge – well, too much for her comfort. But then none of this was comfortable.
"I was going to go down stairs – talk to Kerry about some time off."
"I will. I'd like to come too."
"Susan, I have to fly there."
"So…? I'll be fine. It's not important."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, absolutely."
"Cause having you there would be the best I could ask."
"I'll be there." She reached over to hug him. "I love you. So much."