[You guys know this bit of the story – only it's a couple of years earlier than in actual ER. I have no idea how fast cancer grows but I'm doing the author's choice and this is slow growing. This bit of the story is for some friends of mine who went thru this. They probably won't read this but it's for them anyway. Fortunately for them they found it early (when they got back from their honeymoon no less) and now he's fine. With a very impressive scar down the middle of his abs that he's o-so-proud of.]
"Oh, hey, I was looking for you." Susan said on finally finding Kerry in the lounge.
"Yeah, what's up?"
"Um… I need to switch some more shifts." She sighed, knowing that she was pushing it.
"For you or for Mark?" Kerry stood up, realising her break was over.
"Both actually."
"Oh, look, I'm really sorry, but we're short staffed as it is." The disappointment was all too unintentionally-evident on Susan's face. Kerry reconsidered, "How long for?"
"He has to go to New York for a clinic."
"Oh, I'm really sorry." Kerry assumed this meant the worst.
"Well, they don't really know anything yet – they just want to figure out what we're dealing with. And, anyway, I was hoping to go with him, you know?"
"Look, I'll take a look but I really can't see anyway that we can manage without you both for several days straight."
"Okay. That's okay. I don't really need to go, I just thought…"
"I wish I could tell you otherwise."
"Na." Susan waved her hand pretending not to mind and exited the lounge quickly to cover her transparent features.
**
"Okay." Susan sighed, pulling Mark's scarf tight around his neck, avoiding his eyes. But she knew her chances of getting through this goodbye without tears were slim to none.
"Susan." He grabbed her hands and waited for her to look at him.
"I'm so sorry I can't come. Maybe I should just quit and call tomorrow from New York to tell them."
Mark smiled at her. "I'll be back in four days."
"Call me when you get there."
"I will."
"And no invasive surgery."
He shook his head, holding his lips in a grim line. "I love you."
She reached up into his embrace, holding him as tight as she could. "Can I have you forever?"
"Yes." He whispered into her neck.
There were tears streaming down her face but she wasn't even going to try and hide them.
His flight was called over the intercom. Susan pulled him tighter.
"It's okay, they've only just started boarding."
She forced herself to let go. She looked at him, smiling slightly through her tears.
"You know what I was thinking?"
she shook her head, "I've tried, but reading your mind is beyond my expertise."
"I was thinking about how this would be if you'd never come back."
"I would have come back."
"No, I mean, if we'd not kept in touch – you know? If this had never happened. You probably did save my life but without you I was only surviving anyway… you really did save my life."
"You saved mine too." She whispered. "I love you." She ran one hand down his jaw line, guiding his lips to her own for one desperate, sacred kiss. Then she just hugged him until the last call was made for his flight.
"Don't worry about me." She pulled back.
She laughed, "Don't be ridiculous."
He cocked his head to one side, smiling at her. "I have to go."
"Then go, you're killing me here."
He kissed her soundly, promising he'd return soon.
"Goodbye." She whispered in a last fleeting embrace.
"Bye." He squeezed her hand, backing toward the gate. "I'll call as soon as I land."
She nodded wordlessly and watched him go, ignoring the paralysing fear that they'd said too many goodbyes. Maybe they only got so many.
**
"Oh, hey, I was looking for you." Susan said on finally finding Kerry in the lounge.
"Yeah, what's up?"
"Um… I need to switch some more shifts." She sighed, knowing that she was pushing it.
"For you or for Mark?" Kerry stood up, realising her break was over.
"Both actually."
"Oh, look, I'm really sorry, but we're short staffed as it is." The disappointment was all too unintentionally-evident on Susan's face. Kerry reconsidered, "How long for?"
"He has to go to New York for a clinic."
"Oh, I'm really sorry." Kerry assumed this meant the worst.
"Well, they don't really know anything yet – they just want to figure out what we're dealing with. And, anyway, I was hoping to go with him, you know?"
"Look, I'll take a look but I really can't see anyway that we can manage without you both for several days straight."
"Okay. That's okay. I don't really need to go, I just thought…"
"I wish I could tell you otherwise."
"Na." Susan waved her hand pretending not to mind and exited the lounge quickly to cover her transparent features.
**
"Okay." Susan sighed, pulling Mark's scarf tight around his neck, avoiding his eyes. But she knew her chances of getting through this goodbye without tears were slim to none.
"Susan." He grabbed her hands and waited for her to look at him.
"I'm so sorry I can't come. Maybe I should just quit and call tomorrow from New York to tell them."
Mark smiled at her. "I'll be back in four days."
"Call me when you get there."
"I will."
"And no invasive surgery."
He shook his head, holding his lips in a grim line. "I love you."
She reached up into his embrace, holding him as tight as she could. "Can I have you forever?"
"Yes." He whispered into her neck.
There were tears streaming down her face but she wasn't even going to try and hide them.
His flight was called over the intercom. Susan pulled him tighter.
"It's okay, they've only just started boarding."
She forced herself to let go. She looked at him, smiling slightly through her tears.
"You know what I was thinking?"
she shook her head, "I've tried, but reading your mind is beyond my expertise."
"I was thinking about how this would be if you'd never come back."
"I would have come back."
"No, I mean, if we'd not kept in touch – you know? If this had never happened. You probably did save my life but without you I was only surviving anyway… you really did save my life."
"You saved mine too." She whispered. "I love you." She ran one hand down his jaw line, guiding his lips to her own for one desperate, sacred kiss. Then she just hugged him until the last call was made for his flight.
"Don't worry about me." She pulled back.
She laughed, "Don't be ridiculous."
He cocked his head to one side, smiling at her. "I have to go."
"Then go, you're killing me here."
He kissed her soundly, promising he'd return soon.
"Goodbye." She whispered in a last fleeting embrace.
"Bye." He squeezed her hand, backing toward the gate. "I'll call as soon as I land."
She nodded wordlessly and watched him go, ignoring the paralysing fear that they'd said too many goodbyes. Maybe they only got so many.
**