A one shot Dido fic, from her song "Don't Leave Home," in Tifa's point of view.
I don't own anything!
Jess
I didn't want it to end. He was leaving; Cloud was leaving. I knew that I wouldn't be able to see him at least until the end of the summer. We were all packing to leave. Each of us going our separate ways. Barret and Cid had already left and returned to their homes. I needed to see Cloud again before he left. I would regret not saying goodbye to him, I know I would have wondered about what could have happened. Walking over to his room in the house never seemed like such a far journey. As I approached his door, I could hear him fumbling and trying to get things ready to leave. He had to be out by a certain time, or he'd miss his train. I could tell he was running late, he kept murmuring to himself as I heard him throwing things into his bags.
Like a ghost don't need a key
Your best friend I've come to be
I knocked on the door and entered, and saw the mess that he would be leaving. As I entered, he looked up and smiled, hunched over his laundry bag that was full of everything but laundry. I looked at the floor and how much dust and grime had collected there in the short time. I walked across the room, and picked up his broom, and immediately started sweeping. As I did, I saw him throwing things from his desk into his bursting bag. I saw him pick up a little 1/35 Soldier that I had given him for his birthday, and he tossed it into the bag with everything else. I couldn't help but smile, the present that Yuffie had given him had yet to be rediscovered.
Please don't think of getting up for me
You don't even need to speak
After sweeping, we began to bring his bags to the Green Chocobo waiting for Cloud to leave. Yuffie had finally arrived to help us. It seemed awkward, because none of us spoke much. I couldn't find much to say. Although, all I wanted to say was "don't leave home." The next day we would all be separated for some amount of time that I couldn't determine. I wanted to fight back the tears, and pray that when we were all reunited, things would be the same.
After successfully loading a now disgruntled Chocobo, Cloud helped us load Yuffie's Chocobo even though he was running a little late. Then he turned to each of us. I looked up into his large, mako eyes. He started to say goodbye, in his own Cloud way.
"Thanks girls, I hope you guys have good summers. I'll see you next year."
I leaned toward him, and said in the only voice I could muster, "Now give me a hug." My voice must have sounded shy and small almost mouse-like, but it did not matter. He leaned over me and put his arms around me. I squeezed him as hard as I could, but didn't want him to know how badly I was needing him. I couldn't let him know how badly I had wished for this hug for so long. I felt as though we had a moment, however, I don't know if that was just my imagination.
Cloud turned to Yuffie and offered her his hand. She shook it, and agreed that it would be too weird to hug him. I still don't really understand how that made sense, since we were all just friends. Then he turned to leave; running back to the Chocobo since he had spent so much time saying goodbye to us. I was glad he did. I wanted to tell him not to leave. It pained me to watch him leave, and I wondered if I would see him before the summer was through.
When I've been here for just one day
You'll already miss me if I go away
So close the blinds and shut the door
You won't need other friends anymore
Yuffie and I walked more slowly up the hill than Cloud had run, but we still saw him climb aboard his Chocobo and ride off alone. I watched him until he had ridden over the small hill of the town, memorizing the way he looked as he rode.
Oh don't leave home, oh don't leave home
Yuffie commented on our embrace, saying that it was adorable. I smiled, and wondered if Cloud thought the same. Yuffie also said that she hadn't heard me ask for the hug, that she had only seen me lean into him. My thoughts then lingered to the idea of Cloud not hearing me either, but just embracing me. Thinking that it may be a clue about his feelings, I smiled, and longed for the summer to come and go so I could see him again.
Later that night, Yuffie moved out as well, leaving me alone in the large house. Feeling so lonely, my thoughts began to roam to next year. Would Cloud and I finally reveal our feelings to each other? Did Cloud have feelings for me? Would I be the one to hold him in the cold nights? To comfort him when things were going poorly? I began to fall into an uneasy sleep, in which dreams did not find me.
If you're cold I'll keep you warm
If you're low just hold on
Cause I will be your safety
Oh don't leave home
On my own travel home, I began to reminisce about when we first met again earlier that year. Cloud had been in shreds, since his former girlfriend destroyed him emotionally. He didn't seem capable of feeling anything. Even so, he would always come over to my room, and try to spend time with me everyday. Feeling so pleased with myself, I began to give myself illusions about his feelings for me. The feelings seemed to be more than just friendship-type feelings, in my opinion. Cloud simply didn't act the same with Yuffie, and I took that as a sign. A sign of what, I'm not sure, since he has not made a move at all, to my dismay.
And I arrived when you were weak
I'll make you weaker, like a child
Now all your love you give to me
When your heart is all I need
Oh don't leave home, oh don't leave home
That night, after unpacking all of my necessities, I curled up into my small bed. After a few minutes curled in the fetal position, I began to feel so very cold and alone. My thoughts began to linger from the feelings of my body, and I thought of how Cloud was doing. Was he as cold right now as I was? I longed for him to keep me warm on cold nights, to just hold me in his arms tightly. I hungered for his eyes to see the tears in my own, and for him to kiss them away. I hungered for another moment beside him.
If you're cold I'll keep you warm
If you're low just hold on
Cause I will be your safety
Oh don't leave home
Oh how quiet, quiet the world can be
When it's just you and little me
Everything is clear and everything is new
So you won't be leaving will you
We had a moment at a party once, where I was in a vulnerable state, and wanted to show my love for him. I searched the deafening party full of unfamiliar faces, and found him alone on the porch. Smiling, I walked over to him, and told him about how some of the boys at the party were acting a little fresh. I put my head on his shoulder. Even over the smell of the party could I still smell Cloud's cologne. It may not even have been cologne, but just the way Cloud smells in general. As we stood out there on the porch alone; I cannot remember to this day the noise coming not five feet from us inside the house. I could just remember talking to Cloud. Standing with my head on his shoulder, and praying that he would turn and kiss me.
I rolled over and tried to get comfortable in my bed. I said to myself, "Maybe someday…maybe that will happen someday." Then I fell asleep, dreaming of a perfect world where Cloud and I would be home.
Oh don't leave home, oh don't leave home
If you're cold I'll keep you warm
If you're low just hold on
Cause I will be your safety
Oh don't leave home
Feelings come from my own experience with a "Cloud" like person that I know. Leave me some feedback and let me know if this was any good : )
Jess