Title: Another Hole in the Head
Author: BendyStrawBunny (ragettizepirate on LJ)
Rating: PG-13 Language.
Summary: Songfic to Nickelback's "Another Hole in the Head" Sands fights his deeply buried yearnings as El wonders why he even bothered.
So basically, I was grooving out to Nickelback, as I often do, when it came time to turn off my music and get my patoot in bed. The last lyric that escaped before I turned it off was "Coz I needed you, probably as bad as I need another hole in the head" and immediately I thought of Sands. It's a very literal description of him, really. So I knew I had to write a songfic, and it took awhile to write but oooooh how I wrote it. Enjoy!
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Crunching of rocks on pavement. Clink of metal links. Brief pause.
"Get in the car."
Sands took in a deep breath, "Fuck off." he breathed the air out slowly as he said it.
He could feel El's patience wearing thin. He didn't need eyes to notice the tensing of the air. "Get in the car."
"I heard you the first time you--"
The sentence was barely out of his mouth when he felt himself being pulled toward, unprepared he stumbled into the side of a car as El's hands abandoned his shirt.
Sands would have shot the man a very nasty glare if his eyes hadn't been replaced by two gaping hopes in his face. He felt around the door frame for the handle and swung the door open. He lowered himself into the seat carefully, and slammed the door shut as hard as his limbs would allow.
He heard another slam, and felt the car beneath him vibrate as El turned the keys. The next five minutes of the drive consisted of a very tense silence.
El sighed and tried to start a conversation, but Sands just sat, silent as the grave.
--I'm through, thinking of things to say to you
It's true, I've said enough and so have you
Just drive, you slam the door and so do I
Tongue tied, from all the little things
And they're the reason that I scream--
He heard the keys being ripped out of the ignition, the seat whining in protest as El turned to face Sands.
"Do you mind, Mr. Sands, if I ask you just what the hell is your problem with me?"
Sands straightened in his seat, his mouth shut tight. He had no desire to say anything, and would be quite content to stay this way forever.
--I needed you,
Probably as bad as I need another hole in the head
Was I mean to you?
Car keys in your hand
I believe that you would leave me for dead--
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El absentmindedly turned the keys around in his right hand as he stared at Sands' stubborn form.
He needed him to say something. Anything really, partly to end the maddening silence but mostly to validate El's actions. He had only peeled him off a run-down street in the middle of a city torn apart by battle, the least he could do was say thanks, the fucking nut.
He soon found his hands wringing themselves around the keys, and his mind contemplating using the same motion around the man's neck. He decided it would be best to try to start up conversation again, just to drive away his slightly homicidal thoughts.
"So.. you planning on being totally silent for the rest of our lives?"
--Your turn, you'd rather leave then live and learn
That's why, you want an end and so do I
This time, I'll leave, and leave it all behind
Tongue tied, from all the little things
And they're the reason that I scream--
El sighed and hunched over the steering wheel, his face in one hand, the keys in another.
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A sharp pain was throbbing in Sands' temple. He eased his sunglasses off of his blood-caked face and tried to rub the ache out of his muscles.
He heard El sigh, and he heard the jingle of chains that told him that he had turned away from him.
Had El given up so quickly? He smirked, but as he did something in the back of his mind protested.
--You might not still be alive if he hadn't picked you up.--
He shoved the sunglasses back on his face, as if the action would shut the voice up. He didn't need El's help. He had been just fine, laying on that side-walk. And what had made it El's business what he did anyway?
--I needed you,
Probably as bad as I need another hole in the head
Was I mean to you?
Car keys in your hand... --
He heard the keys in El's hand shake, and the door give a click as it came unlocked. Sands' heart froze in a brief moment of panic.
--I believe that you would leave me for dead--
The voice overtook his mind as he prayed El wasn't leaving.
Wait a minute..
He ran a hand through his stringy hair and sighed. Why did it scare him to think that El would leave him? He had been doing just fine without him, the fucking nut.
--Coz I needed you,
Probably as bad as I need another hole in the head--
A sudden burst of pain behind his eye sockets jumbled his thoughts once more, and he buried his face in his hands, sweat dripping off his nose.
As the pain once again subsided to dull throbs he began to yearn for something that would have normally made him curse in protest, comfort.
He lifted his head and turned towards El, trying to picture him sitting there in the seat, keys clutched tightly in his one fist as the other hand drew ever closer to the door handle. The image made him regret anything he had ever thought about the man.
--Was I mean to you?
Car keys in your hand
I believe that you would leave me for dead--
Sands thought he could feel El's hand getting closer to the handle, and sense the Mariachi's eagerness to free himself from the car.
--I believe, you would leave,
me for dead,
me for dead
I believe, you would leave...--
Sands' already torn breathing became even more ragged as the seconds dragged by.
--For the love of God, don't leave me here.-- His mind thought frantically. --I'm sorry I was an asshole, I'm sorry.. Oh God... --
--I believe that you would leave me for----
The engine roared as the keys turned, and the tires squealed as they streaked across pavement.
End.