"Sometimes I forget that you know what it's like to be a victim. I wish you had never come across Nigel." Sara's voice was soft.
"I can't change that. I'm just glad Brass showed up before Nigel had a chance to blow his head off." Nick recalled.
Regret washed over Sara's face. "Oh, Nick, I am so sorry that you had to be the one to pull me off that railing."
His face clouded. "What? You would have rather that I didn't?"
She shook her head. "No. I mean, I'm really glad you were there, I'm just sorry that I put you through that. I'm sorry I put everyone through that."
"Sara, it's ok because you're ok. I would rather have pulled you off of there than to have lost you." Nick had a hitch in his voice again.
They sat there in a companionable silence for a few minutes, each of them lost in thought.
"How come everyone else doesn't seem to be affected by their cases like this?" Sara looked at Nick curiously.
"I think people are more affected than you think, but frankly, Sara, the rest of us do things in our off time that don't involve police scanners and forensic journals." Nick's voice was gentle.
Sara let out a frustrated sigh. "I know it's the same thing, 'Sara, find an outside interest.' 'Sara, you need to get out more.' The thing is, Nick, I'm not good at it."
He chuckled softly. "What do you have to be good at? The point is, to do something that has nothing to do with law enforcement. I know I'm not telling you anything you haven't already heard, but you still need to hear it."
Sara let out a huff. "You're not helping."
He hugged her tighter. "I'll make you a deal."
Sara's tone was wary. "What?"
"You try some new hobby and I'll do it with you." His confidence wavered for a moment. "Uh, unless you have a secret desire to be a showgirl, because I am not wearing one of those outfits."
The mental image that formed in Sara's mind made her laugh. "I wouldn't want to wear one of those either, but seeing you in one might just be worth it."
Nick cleared his throat. "Ok, a real hobby."
"You didn't specify." She teased.
He raised an eyebrow. "I'm specifying now."
She smiled and relaxed against him again. "I'll think about it."
"Well that's better than a flat out 'no'." Nick replied with a smirk.
Sara let out a sigh. "I suppose I should try and go back to sleep."
"You gonna be ok?" Nick asked with concern edging his voice.
"Well I'll wake you up again if I'm not." She answered tentatively.
He kissed the top of her head. "You'd better."
Sara pulled herself out of Nick's embrace and stood up. She glanced back at him with a curious expression. "You talked to Grissom earlier, didn't you?"
He just nodded.
"Is he going to let me come into work?" She looked concerned.
Nick had a serious expression. "I think he is, but he's going to want to talk to you and I'm sure that he's going to place a few conditions on it."
"Why does this have to be so hard?" Sara was frustrated.
"Sar, just remember that you're not doing it alone." He hoped that she knew he was sincere.
"Will you come with me when I talk to him?" She bit her lower lip nervously.
"If you want me there, I'll be there." He assured her.
"Thanks, Nick." She smiled softly at him. "I'm going to try and get some sleep."
"Ok." He smiled at her and lay back on the couch, letting his eyes close as she disappeared into her bedroom. Despite his best efforts, he couldn't sleep. The entire night had completely exhausted him emotionally as well as physically, but his worry for Sara kept him awake.
He figured that he must have lain there for at least an hour alternately staring at the ceiling and checking the time on the display of the VCR when he heard a noise in the other room. He tossed the blanket that covered him aside and sat up, willing his ears to decipher what he'd heard. As he listened carefully, he realized that the noise sounded like a whimper and he knew instantly where it was coming from. He pulled himself up off of the couch and made his way down the hallway to Sara's bedroom. He softly tapped on the door before slowly opening it. "Sara." His voice was a soft whisper.
Sara was curled up into a fetal position in the middle of her bed, hugging her pillow and she was using it to try and muffle her crying.
Nick softly walked over to her bed and sat down on the edge of it. "Sara." He reached out and put his hand on her shoulder and gave it a squeeze.
Just that simple touch dissolved Sara into sobs.
"Hey, Sar." There was a worried tone in Nick's voice as he began to scoot closer to her until he was sitting on the bed next to her. He rested one hand on her elbow and with the other he stroked her hair. "It's gonna be ok."
"I just want it to stop hurting, Nick." Sara cried as she hugged her pillow a little harder.
"It's gonna get better." Nick eased himself down next to her and slid his arm around her waist, pulling her back against him. "I'm here for you. It's gonna be ok." He continued to stroke her hair.
"I just hate this so much." Sara choked out.
"I know. It'll get better. It's gonna be ok." His voice was soothing.
Her sobs began to taper off as she relaxed against him, taking comfort from his presence. Neither one of them said anything save the shushing noises from Nick. Sara's breathing began to even out and deepen until Nick was sure that she'd fallen asleep. He continued to hold her, stroking her hair occasionally until he too fell into an exhausted sleep.