She places the fluro pink journal back in the wooden box hidden at the
bottom of her closet, full of old journals, photographs, sketches and
letters and snaps the small lock back into place.
She thinks about the person she used to be back then, young, carefree, and happy, in love.
Not that she isn't happy now; it was a different sort of happy, innocent maybe.
She has loved no one since Dan, at least not like that, of course she loves Lucas, he is her child, but that is different.
She often wonders if she is capable of loving someone, allowing herself to get emotionally attached, give a little piece of herself to someone else, again, 16 years is a long time and only now is she realizing that she never got over Dan, instead she buried all the feeling of hate and resentment, pretended she was fine, it wasn't until Keith proposed to her that she realized that what she would had wanted for so long, a relationship, a commitment, now terrified her.
She wants to be anything other than the person she has become.
She thinks about the person she used to be back then, young, carefree, and happy, in love.
Not that she isn't happy now; it was a different sort of happy, innocent maybe.
She has loved no one since Dan, at least not like that, of course she loves Lucas, he is her child, but that is different.
She often wonders if she is capable of loving someone, allowing herself to get emotionally attached, give a little piece of herself to someone else, again, 16 years is a long time and only now is she realizing that she never got over Dan, instead she buried all the feeling of hate and resentment, pretended she was fine, it wasn't until Keith proposed to her that she realized that what she would had wanted for so long, a relationship, a commitment, now terrified her.
She wants to be anything other than the person she has become.