The Day the Universes Collided
Chapter Nine
Hyrule Castle Town
Hyrule Kingdom
Time: 0700 hours
Allstar stared into Link's face, so close to him, their noses touched. The others sat around the table looking as if they wanted to be somewhere else. It had taken them time to get to the town after catching a ride with a very confused Malon as she made her milk delivery.
"No cheeseburgers?" Allstar whispered to the Hylian Link. He shook his head, eyes wide. Allstar sat back down and looked pained. "They've got no cheeseburgers, Bro. We've been punished!"
"Which is why Mario volunteered you for Soul Caliber II and gave you a membership to Bally Fitness." Dark Link sighed as he drummed his fingers on the table, "You won't stop eating cheeseburgers!"
"I should have shot you both when I had the chance." Mav hissed as he stabbed at his slice of bread, "Now, you, Elfin and Waker must have the same genetic properties as the Hyrulian Link. Therefore, the magic masks that work for him must also work on you. Allstar, you will get the Zora Mask, if only to shut you up. Elfin will get the Goron Mask and Waker will take the Deku Mask." Waker raised his hand. "What, Boy?"
"Don't call me Boy! Only my sister can do that!" Waker snapped and then looked spaced out, "Um, what's a Deku? Is it like the Great Deku Tree? Do I get turned into a tree?"
"Gimme your Player's Guide." Dark Link muttered to his twin and spread out a book on the table, pointing at an image, "That's a Deku Scrub. The mask will turn you into that. See? Miyamoto, Link, you look like Pinocchio in that getup!" Allstar frowned at him and snatched back the guide.
"It was all Shigeru's idea!" he protested as Elfin grabbed it from him and flipped the pages, "At least I get to be the coolest one! Mikau!"
"Hey! You're turning me into a fat-ass?" Elfin cried as he spotted a Goron Link in the book, "Uh-uh. Scrap this, I ain't gaining no two tons of fat just to get in the castle."
"It's muscle. Not fat." Mav murmured over his mug of milk.
"I don't care. It's ugly and naked. I'm not doing it." Elfin dug his heels in on the subject. Link looked up at him pleadingly.
"Please wear it and come with me into the castle!" he begged, "I've got to free the King from this madness!"
"You make me sick." Mav spat in disgust, "You and your pretty boy faces and wimpy attitudes! I'm ashamed to say I was once the Link for Oracle of Ages and Seasons!"
"That was also partly Shigeru's idea, too." Allstar pointed out and flinched as Mav slammed the mug down.
"That's beside the point! You want to save your worlds, put the masks on!" he declared and stormed out of the restaurant. They watched him leave in silence. Allstar sighed and got up.
"I'll talk to him. He was my trainee once." he murmured and followed him out. The others looked at each other, then at the guide, then at Elfin. He leaned back and folded his arms on his chest.
"I'm not turning into a fat-ass." he repeated.
****
"Mav?" Allstar called out as he spotted the captain watching a group of kids kicking a ball around in the market square. He glanced at him and sniffed disdainfully before turning back. "Okay, so we're not all tough like you. So what? We can still buckle down and get serious. We can take on the bad guys and save the world." Allstar chuckled and shrugged helplessly, "We're the Links. We're programmed for that from the start."
"What always pissed me off about Nintendo was they way they acted so damn innocent when trouble starts to brew." Mav growled, "So sure of its power, so sure of its security...until it all went to hell in a heartbeat."
"You're talking about First Day." Allstar guessed and closed his eyes in reverence to the name. Mav nodded.
"The day Nintendo died and my greatest mentors, the original Allstar N64 Link and Dark Link, were murdered before my very eyes, gunned down by Xbox's Nintendo Hunters." Mav whispered, "And for what? The Flipper. A lousy graphics processor chip. Technology for the GameCube."
"We were what?" Allstar asked in confusion and surprise, "But in my timeline, Dark Link and I never...." He would have said more but the other heroes suddenly rushed up to them.
"He said he'll do it!" Link exclaimed happily as Elfin walked up with a frown and a pair of sunglasses on.
"Any of you guys tell my wife about this and you are spending a week downtown, capice?" he growled over a toothpick stuck in his mouth, his hands shoved into some pockets sewn on his tunic.
*****
It was some time later that a guard at the castle looked down the gate and spotted Link and a group of his 'friends' walk up to it. The Hero of Time looked up and waved at him. The guard shrugged and opened the doors.
"Hoy, Link! Who are these friends of yours today?" he called down. Link looked back at the group and smiled uneasily.
"Here goes." he muttered and turned back to the guard, "These are my friends! Mikau the Zora, Darmani the Goron, Waker the Deku and Prankster! We're here to visit Zelda and the King!"
"Zelda's out in the garden and Harkinian is dining right now. You can wait in the courtyard with the Princess!" the guard replied and waved them through. The band of heroes went in, Maverick using his Prankster mode's robe and hood to hide his face.
"So far, so good." Allstar muttered and was jabbed by Link's elbow.
"Don't jinx it!" he hissed as they entered the garden, "Zelda! I need to talk to you!" The princess looked at him with a smile, then looked confused by the other heroes.
"That's odd, my dream told me that there would be others that look just like you coming here with you." she remarked, "Why are the other Links in such odd forms?"
"His idea." Allstar pointed at Prankster and was immediately kicked in the leg for the comment. They removed the masks and returned to their true selves. Zelda laughed in delight and ran up to the group.
"So many of you! Link, have you ever seen so many people who looked just like you?!" she exclaimed.
"Just Dark Link, and he doesn't really count." Link replied sheepishly as Zelda poked and prodded Elfin a bit.
"Don't do that. My wife would kill me." Elfin grumbled, still chewing on the toothpick. Waker giggled and laughed when he was poked at and Allstar stepped back.
"You're not gonna make me wear t-shirts and jeans, are you?" he asked warily. Zelda looked at him blankly and turned to Prankster.
"Aren't you going to come out of hiding? You're so little! How old are you?" she cooed.
"Thirteen years, not that it's really any of your business." Maverick replied and pulled back the hood to reveal a nearly flawless face. This time, instead of having three scars on his face, the Prankster's face had a black eyepatch over his left eye. Zelda jumped back, horrified. "My Prankster personality lost his left eye to an X-Patroller's arrow back when my world was in chaos." He lifted his right hand and pressed a button on a wristwatch. In a flash, he resumed his black armor and cape, the patch replaced by the real eye and the scars back on his face. "This is what I really look like. Not much better, I presume." he hissed.
"Hey, Bro, you can come out now." Allstar spoke to Link's shadow. Zelda watched in shock as a black shape moved out of the shadow and reformed itself into another mirror image of the Hero of Time, wearing black and silver with a long black braid of hair and what seemed like a circlet around his head.
"Goddesses! It's that evil creature!" she screamed and grabbed for Link to get to her side. Dark Link frowned and folded his arms over his chest.
"Didn't we just get through explaining to the guy next to you that I'm not evil?" he grumbled, "I'm an actor! Read the magazine!" Zelda blinked at him and looked at Link, who brought out the Nintendo Power magazine and showed her.
"In their world, they work together in something called a video game." he tried to explain. Zelda looked at the pictures and then at Allstar.
"What about your world's Zelda?" she asked quietly.
"Which one? We have like five or six Zeldas all running around." Allstar replied with a grin. Zelda pointed at herself. "Oh, you mean my Zelda. She's probably at the Center City Mall, maxing out my Master Card on shoes and purses again."
"You must have a Ganondorf as well. Is he evil and malicious there, too, or harmless?" Link asked suspiciously. Allstar looked worried.
"He's a good friend of mine, but he got attacked by one of the Nintendo Hunters. I'm hoping he'll be all right. He's an all right guy, I mean, you can't really see him as someone evil unless you step on his flowers by accident." he answered.
"His flowers?!" Link and Zelda both exclaimed in shock. Dark Link nodded.
"Yeah, the lava moat around Ganon's Tower is just fancy CGI covering up his garden of contest flowers. He grew this whole bunch of roses that took first place in the Flower Show two years ago. He gave the money to charity." he added in and smiled, "Ganondorf made my brother here touch the Triforce of Power after he filched one to give to Zelda." Allstar scratched at his nose, looking like he didn't want to go into the subject. "Needless to say, Links and Triforces of Power don't mix."
"What happened?" Link asked, thinking any Link that grabbed the Triforce of Power would easily be able to return all three parts to the Temple of Light.
"Do the words 'Link, get down from that building and put your pants back on!' mean anything to you?" Allstar growled, turning bright red. "The Triforce of Power makes any Nintendo Link that touches it just go nuts. We're not programmed to handle it, so we lose our sanity and our Triforces of Courage if we so much as tap it with a fingertip."
"If you are done with your small talk, can we get on with our mission?!" Maverick snapped and stormed to the door, "We've got to get into the throne room, destroy the statue and get out of here so I can get back to fighting the Gates Crusher with the Shigeru Armada!" The heroes looked at each other, shrugged and chased after him.
*****
The throne room was empty, save for a small metal doll sitting in the throne. Maverick pulled out the SPC and aimed its screen at the doll from a distance.
"Activate scanner." he intoned and a laser beamed out from the screen, sweeping the doll a few times before stopping. Maverick then began pushing buttons and clicking on menus as Link walked up to the throne. He picked up the doll and cocked his head.
"Is this what's causing King Harkinian to lose his senses?" he asked, turning to the others and pointing at the doll, "It doesn't look like much of a threat." The SPC beeped suddenly and Maverick looked up at him sharply.
"PUT THAT DOWN NOW!" he screamed and the castle began to shake as the doll's eyes glowed a bright red. Link threw the doll aside as he fell back from the throne, landing on the marble floor. The others tried to keep their balances as the doll stood and raised its arms up. It began to grow until it towered over the heroes. The SPC beeped again.
"It's freaking huge, man!" Elfin shrieked and pulled out a gun, "You! Stop! You're under arrest for...for...ah, I'll tell you why later! Just get down on the floor!" The doll swung its arms around and glowered at them.
"Oh, yeah. You're really intimidating it." Dark Link muttered.
"Get him out of the way!" Allstar yelled, pointing frantically at Link, who lay crumpled on the floor in front of the giant doll. Waker darted forward, grabbed him by the shoulders and tried dragging him back to the others. Zelda went in to help him as Maverick read the information Zero sent back.
"It says that this is Surya, the computerized doll. It can't take a large jolt of electricity, so shorting it out would destroy it." he remarked, "Allstar! Do you have the Ocarina of Time?!"
"That thing?! I left it in the glove compartment of the car!" Allstar replied.
"Brilliant." Maverick grumbled as Waker and Zelda brought Link back to them, "We need the Song of Storms to conjure a storm so we can use the lightning!" Waker ran up to him after leaving Link to be taken care of by the twins.
"I possess the soul of the original Hero of Time from my world, and his memories as well." he told him, "The Song of Storms won't work, it only brings rain, not lightning." Maverick looked at him, then up at Surya who was now pounding the walls of the castle. "If you can break all the windows here, I know a gust of wind will come in. All I need is just one gust and I can use the Storm King's Bolero to conduct a storm like nothing you've ever seen!" Waker declared.
"This better work." Maverick muttered as he brought out the gun again. He fired rapidly at the windows all around the room as Zelda ducked her head, Elfin glared at him, and the twins attempted to revive Link.
"Dark Link, call my cell phone." Allstar told him as he brought out his own green phone and opened it.
"Why?!" Dark Link snapped, "We don't have time to play with our phones! We've got to get this guy to wake up!"
"The ring tones for my cell phone is the Song of Healing! Call my phone so it can play!" Allstar yelled back. Dark Link whipped out his phone and hit a button for speed dial. In a moment, the notes of the Song of Healing began to play from his twin's phone. Allstar held it to Link's ear and waited.
A faint pink aura surrounded the hero and he opened his eyes. Dark Link hung up the phone and watched him sit up and rub his head.
"Strangest sounding instrument I've heard or seen." Link remarked as he looked at Allstar's phone. Waker raced past him and he looked up in surprise, "Hey, what's he doing?! He'll get killed!"
"Surya!" Waker shouted, holding up the Wind Waker baton, "You hurt the Hero of Time of this world! I'll make you pay for that and I won't allow you to destroy the world that should have existed in my time! Storm King's Bolero!" He waved the wand in various directions, moving with the rhythm as the winds flowed into the castle and screamed around Surya. Clouds formed above them and thunder rumbled loudly. The Links looked up in surprise as they huddled close to one another, watching as the wind lifted Waker up to be level with the mechanical monster.
"He's lost it!" Dark Link exclaimed.
"He never had it to begin with." Allstar grumbled and winced as lightning flashed nearby, "Hey! Storms in a castle?! I don't remember the Player's Guide for WindWaker saying that was legal!" As the storm raged on, King Harkinian entered the throne room with several of his soldiers. He waved his arms madly.
"Look! See?! She is a witch! She's pretending to be Zelda and she's turned the Hero of Time against us! She's even created evil copies of him! Kill them all!" he screamed, eyes wild.
"No, Father! Come to your senses!" Zelda cried and jumped back as a soldier attacked. Link scrambled aside and brandished the Gilded Sword, trying to protect her and himself.
"Yeah, like we really needed this." Elfin grumbled as he held his shield out to block incoming attacks. Surya continued to pound away and the ceiling began to crumble and fall.
"Hurry it up, Boy!" Maverick yelled at Waker as he used the twin Master Swords in a wide spinning attack similar to the Whirlwind maneuver all the others possessed, "Master Field Attack! I'll kill them if they don't back off!"
"Storm King! Hear my command!" Waker declared, lifting the wand high, "Cast your fingers to my hand!" Lightning struck out and hit the tip of the wand, encompassing it with a brilliant light. Waker lashed out and hit Surya with the Wind Waker baton, unleashing the load of electricity. Surya shook furiously, then howled as it exploded, knocking Waker out of the air. The soldiers stopped the attack and looked around groggily as King Harkinian shook his head.
"Zelda? Daughter? What has happened here?" he asked in confusion, looking at all the different Links and the damage caused by Surya. Zelda stepped back from holding a spear at one guard.
"Oh, Daddy...." she stammered and thought quickly, "This is all a dream. Go to bed and wake up, then come back here. Everything will be fine then." Harkinian looked dubious, then sighed.
"Well, I am feeling a bit out of sorts. Though I wonder why a black variation of the Hero of Time would be in my dream...." he murmured as he left the room. Zelda sighed and shooed the other guards away as Link ran up to catch Waker.
"That's quite an instrument!" he remarked, setting Waker down safely. Waker blew at his left hand, the wand in his other one.
"Yeah, but I hate it when I have to ask for the power of lightning like that. My hands hurt real bad for a while." he muttered. Elfin walked up to the throne and looked around, finally spotting the tiny Surya in a burned heap on the floor. He picked it up, yelped and dropped it.
"Yow! Man! Waker, you cooked that sucker but good!" he exclaimed. Link jogged over and kicked at it, sending it skidding across the floor. "Hey, that looks like fun, lemme try!" He and Link played with the broken doll as Maverick checked the SPC.
"Zero sent another message. We have to go to a place called Gallera next. Elfin, your world is in serious trouble." he reported. Elfin stopped playing and looked worried.
"Link, now that our land is safe, why don't you stay here. Let them finish their mission." Zelda pleaded with her hero. Link shook his head.
"We were told that the weaknesses of the dolls are made for each Link, but it may not be the one of that world. The weakness for our doll was exploited by Waker Link." he replied, "So that means the one for me is in another world. I have to go."
"Then at least get the rest of your equipment from your home. You can't be a proper hero without them." Zelda sighed. Link nodded and turned to the others.
"I'll meet you all at Lake Hylia. I'll be back soon, okay?" he told them as he brought out his Ocarina. He played the Minuet of Forest and vanished.
"Great. We're walking to the lake now?" Allstar moaned, "I wish we had MegaMan's Silverado...." The group groaned alongside him and left the castle, waving goodbye to the princess as they did.