**CHAPTER FIVE! Whoo, I finally got around to doing this. BEAR WITH ME, SCHOOL IS OVERWHELMING! :D Okay. Yeah.
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh. Nope. Never have, never will... well, if I can bribe Takahashi -- okay nevermind I'll never own it.
Okay: Screw the romance thing I started with Malik. I want this to be purely humor. Yeah. *sniffles* I'm sorry Malik for making you get molested by some little preteen girl and scarring you for life. Okay, on with the story! Oh, and if you dislike Tea bashing... there's gonna be a nice amount of it in this fic. By the way: ANZU TOTALLY ROCKS. Tea is stupid though, but I gave Tea the name "anzu" in this because Tea is a drink. :P Yeah. Anyway. I'm confusing. Read on.
& Next Morning &
Both Bakura and Ryou were awake, and fighting over who got the first cup of coffee. Ryou argued that he deserved it since he payed for it, and Bakura... well Bakura said that if he didn't get the first cup, Ryou would be stuffed into the broom closet and not let out until Bakura felt like letting him out.
"Bakura. I payed for the coffee, I payed for the machine, AND I pay for this house! I could kick you out any time I wanted to!"
"Yes but if you did I would have to send you to the Shadow Realm. And then it really wouldn't matter."
"How would you pay rent?!"
"I'd steal the money!"
"You have no idea how to work the coffee maker."
"So? I can learn. I know they have directions somewhere."
"I'll burn the directions!"
"Then I'll send you to the Shadow Realm!"
"DOESN'T MATTER CUZ YOU STILL WON'T KNOW HOW TO WORK THE COFFEE POT!"
"THEN I'LL BUY A NEW ONE AND USE THOSE INSTRUCTIONS!"
"I'LL BURN THOSE INSTRUCTIONS TOO!"
"YOU CAN'T BECAUSE YOU'LL BE IN THE SHADOW REALM, BAKA!"
"I'LL HAVE PHAROAH BRING ME BACK EVERY TIME YOU GET NEW INSTRUCTIONS!"
"I'LL HIDE THE INSTRUCTIONS IN MY BOXERS SO YOU CAN'T GET AT THEM!"
"Bakura... that... that was too much information."
"Sorry. Shall we continue?"
"My throat hurts from yelling too much. Just give me the first cup and we'll be fine."
"No. I want it."
And so the argument started again, and lasted for about two hours before they realized they were late for Bakura's appointment with the psychiatrist.
"SHIT!" Ryou yelled, running up to his room to get ready. Bakura giggled.
"Ryou swore! Naughty boy!" He yelled tauntingly to Ryou.
&Ten Minutes Later&
Ryou and Bakura raced out of the house and to the subway station, Bakura still giggling. They arrived at the psychiatrist's office 20 minutes late. They walked into the the building and to the front desk.
"Um... miss?" Ryou said.
"Hello. My name is Miss Lenara. How may I help you?"
"Bakura is here for his appointment with the psychiatrist."
"Bakura who."
"Bakura... him." Ryou said, pointing to his taller look-alike.
"What's his surname."
"Um... well... Bakura."
"So it's Bakura Bakura?"
"Well..." The secretary sighed and rolled her eyes.
"What did you register him as?"
"Oh. Yami Bakura."
"Right." The secretary said, typing something up on her computer. "You're late."
"We're aware of that. We had... transportation troubles." Which was entirely untrue, but Ryou needed an excuse.
"Ms. Mazaki will be with you as soon as possible. Please have a seat." The secretary said, pointing to a comfy looking leather sofa. Bakura and Ryou sat down and started a whispered conversation.
"Ryou... is Mazaki a popular surname?"
"I don't know, Bakura, why?"
"Anzu."
"Bakura, I doubt it's her. You don't have to worry."
"It better not be her. I can't stand her stupi--"
"Ms. Mazaki is ready for you. Yami Bakura, you may take the elevator to floor five. Her room is in the left hallway, room 304."
"Um... Miss... Lenana... can Ryou come with me?"
"It's LenaRA. With an R, and no he cannot."
"Right, Miss Banana. At least to the door? I'm not good with directions."
"LENARA. And NO, HE CANNOT. Only patients are allowed to the higher levels."
"But Miss Fantana... please?"
"IT'S MISS LENARA! NO HE CANNOT!"
"Please, Miss Bunina?" Ryou could tell Bakura was enjoying this, even if he wasn't smiling. Ms. Lenara looked as if she was going to explode. She ran a hand through her straight hair, and straightened her rather crisp looking suit.
"Fine. Fine. Go. Just... go."
"Thank you... uh..."
"Miss. Victoria. Lenara."
"Yes. Thank you..." Bakura paused, thinking of yet another way to twist the secretary's name, "Bricky Banana." He swooshed past her desk and to the elevator.
"Ryou, come, I have an appointment!"
"Yes Bakura!" As they entered the elevator, they could hear the secretary cursing them.
&Outside the Office&
Ryou knocked softly, and the door opened.
"Please come in, Bakura." A soft voice said. Bakura and Ryou walked in together, and Bakura blanched. It was her... that wretched, evil, disgusting beast whom they called... Anzu Mazaki! "It's nice to see you again, Ryou, Bakura! I haven't seen you in so long, and your phone is disconnected! Did you know? How come you haven't called on Jou or Yuugi's phones? I missed you guys. You do know that friendship is the secret of life. Nobody can be truly happy without friends. Friends are your support, your reason for living. They're like your second family. No, your first family, they're a part of your first family, a part of your heart and will never be forgotten. One cannot truly begin to live if one has no friends. You do know that, right? We should get together some time and do something! How about tomorrow? You can come see my dance rehersal! You'll love it, I'm sure! Alright then, it's a date? Okay! I'll see you there then! Better yet, I'll pick you up. Where do you live? Oh yeah, I have your address right here. That's funny, you have a different phone number than you did before! When did you move, or when did you get it changed? Why didn't you tell me? Guys? ... Guys? Where are you?"
&Outside the Office. Again&
"We have to get out of here. Now." Ryou said.
"The horror, the horror... you got me an appointment with the devil..." Bakura moaned as he and Ryou ran down the hallway to the elevator, when Ryou bumped into someone.
"Urk... Oooh sorry! I shouldn't have been runn-- FUCK NOT YOU!" Ryou's eyes were wide with horror, while Bakura was standing next to him laughing his ass off.
"Why are you laughing, Bakura..."
"It's funny seeing you fall like that, Marik. So graceful. Why are you here, anyway?"
"Why are YOU here."
"Appointment with the devil."
"Who?"
"Ms. Mazaki."
"That wouldn't be... Anzu, would it?"
"'Fraid so, Marik, darling!" Bakura giggled.
"Shit. Not her..."
"Shall we go then?"
"YES!"
&Bakura's House&
Malik had come over and they were all sitting and discussing how to get rid of Anzu Mazaki.
"Stuff her into a closet for forever."
"Poison her."
"Stab her."
"Poke her with cow prods until she screams! WAHAHA!"
"..."
"Er... Bakura."
"GOOD IDEA!"
"Great minds think alike, Marik!" Bakura shouted.
"NOW FOR SOME VODKA!"
"Wheeeeeeee!"
&end of chapter&
I'm depressed. I wanted to update. That explains the lack of humor. Sorry guys... OH AND IF YOU REVIEW I'LL UPDATE FASTER! and maybe make a Christmas scene in which they all get drunk. o_O
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh. Nope. Never have, never will... well, if I can bribe Takahashi -- okay nevermind I'll never own it.
Okay: Screw the romance thing I started with Malik. I want this to be purely humor. Yeah. *sniffles* I'm sorry Malik for making you get molested by some little preteen girl and scarring you for life. Okay, on with the story! Oh, and if you dislike Tea bashing... there's gonna be a nice amount of it in this fic. By the way: ANZU TOTALLY ROCKS. Tea is stupid though, but I gave Tea the name "anzu" in this because Tea is a drink. :P Yeah. Anyway. I'm confusing. Read on.
& Next Morning &
Both Bakura and Ryou were awake, and fighting over who got the first cup of coffee. Ryou argued that he deserved it since he payed for it, and Bakura... well Bakura said that if he didn't get the first cup, Ryou would be stuffed into the broom closet and not let out until Bakura felt like letting him out.
"Bakura. I payed for the coffee, I payed for the machine, AND I pay for this house! I could kick you out any time I wanted to!"
"Yes but if you did I would have to send you to the Shadow Realm. And then it really wouldn't matter."
"How would you pay rent?!"
"I'd steal the money!"
"You have no idea how to work the coffee maker."
"So? I can learn. I know they have directions somewhere."
"I'll burn the directions!"
"Then I'll send you to the Shadow Realm!"
"DOESN'T MATTER CUZ YOU STILL WON'T KNOW HOW TO WORK THE COFFEE POT!"
"THEN I'LL BUY A NEW ONE AND USE THOSE INSTRUCTIONS!"
"I'LL BURN THOSE INSTRUCTIONS TOO!"
"YOU CAN'T BECAUSE YOU'LL BE IN THE SHADOW REALM, BAKA!"
"I'LL HAVE PHAROAH BRING ME BACK EVERY TIME YOU GET NEW INSTRUCTIONS!"
"I'LL HIDE THE INSTRUCTIONS IN MY BOXERS SO YOU CAN'T GET AT THEM!"
"Bakura... that... that was too much information."
"Sorry. Shall we continue?"
"My throat hurts from yelling too much. Just give me the first cup and we'll be fine."
"No. I want it."
And so the argument started again, and lasted for about two hours before they realized they were late for Bakura's appointment with the psychiatrist.
"SHIT!" Ryou yelled, running up to his room to get ready. Bakura giggled.
"Ryou swore! Naughty boy!" He yelled tauntingly to Ryou.
&Ten Minutes Later&
Ryou and Bakura raced out of the house and to the subway station, Bakura still giggling. They arrived at the psychiatrist's office 20 minutes late. They walked into the the building and to the front desk.
"Um... miss?" Ryou said.
"Hello. My name is Miss Lenara. How may I help you?"
"Bakura is here for his appointment with the psychiatrist."
"Bakura who."
"Bakura... him." Ryou said, pointing to his taller look-alike.
"What's his surname."
"Um... well... Bakura."
"So it's Bakura Bakura?"
"Well..." The secretary sighed and rolled her eyes.
"What did you register him as?"
"Oh. Yami Bakura."
"Right." The secretary said, typing something up on her computer. "You're late."
"We're aware of that. We had... transportation troubles." Which was entirely untrue, but Ryou needed an excuse.
"Ms. Mazaki will be with you as soon as possible. Please have a seat." The secretary said, pointing to a comfy looking leather sofa. Bakura and Ryou sat down and started a whispered conversation.
"Ryou... is Mazaki a popular surname?"
"I don't know, Bakura, why?"
"Anzu."
"Bakura, I doubt it's her. You don't have to worry."
"It better not be her. I can't stand her stupi--"
"Ms. Mazaki is ready for you. Yami Bakura, you may take the elevator to floor five. Her room is in the left hallway, room 304."
"Um... Miss... Lenana... can Ryou come with me?"
"It's LenaRA. With an R, and no he cannot."
"Right, Miss Banana. At least to the door? I'm not good with directions."
"LENARA. And NO, HE CANNOT. Only patients are allowed to the higher levels."
"But Miss Fantana... please?"
"IT'S MISS LENARA! NO HE CANNOT!"
"Please, Miss Bunina?" Ryou could tell Bakura was enjoying this, even if he wasn't smiling. Ms. Lenara looked as if she was going to explode. She ran a hand through her straight hair, and straightened her rather crisp looking suit.
"Fine. Fine. Go. Just... go."
"Thank you... uh..."
"Miss. Victoria. Lenara."
"Yes. Thank you..." Bakura paused, thinking of yet another way to twist the secretary's name, "Bricky Banana." He swooshed past her desk and to the elevator.
"Ryou, come, I have an appointment!"
"Yes Bakura!" As they entered the elevator, they could hear the secretary cursing them.
&Outside the Office&
Ryou knocked softly, and the door opened.
"Please come in, Bakura." A soft voice said. Bakura and Ryou walked in together, and Bakura blanched. It was her... that wretched, evil, disgusting beast whom they called... Anzu Mazaki! "It's nice to see you again, Ryou, Bakura! I haven't seen you in so long, and your phone is disconnected! Did you know? How come you haven't called on Jou or Yuugi's phones? I missed you guys. You do know that friendship is the secret of life. Nobody can be truly happy without friends. Friends are your support, your reason for living. They're like your second family. No, your first family, they're a part of your first family, a part of your heart and will never be forgotten. One cannot truly begin to live if one has no friends. You do know that, right? We should get together some time and do something! How about tomorrow? You can come see my dance rehersal! You'll love it, I'm sure! Alright then, it's a date? Okay! I'll see you there then! Better yet, I'll pick you up. Where do you live? Oh yeah, I have your address right here. That's funny, you have a different phone number than you did before! When did you move, or when did you get it changed? Why didn't you tell me? Guys? ... Guys? Where are you?"
&Outside the Office. Again&
"We have to get out of here. Now." Ryou said.
"The horror, the horror... you got me an appointment with the devil..." Bakura moaned as he and Ryou ran down the hallway to the elevator, when Ryou bumped into someone.
"Urk... Oooh sorry! I shouldn't have been runn-- FUCK NOT YOU!" Ryou's eyes were wide with horror, while Bakura was standing next to him laughing his ass off.
"Why are you laughing, Bakura..."
"It's funny seeing you fall like that, Marik. So graceful. Why are you here, anyway?"
"Why are YOU here."
"Appointment with the devil."
"Who?"
"Ms. Mazaki."
"That wouldn't be... Anzu, would it?"
"'Fraid so, Marik, darling!" Bakura giggled.
"Shit. Not her..."
"Shall we go then?"
"YES!"
&Bakura's House&
Malik had come over and they were all sitting and discussing how to get rid of Anzu Mazaki.
"Stuff her into a closet for forever."
"Poison her."
"Stab her."
"Poke her with cow prods until she screams! WAHAHA!"
"..."
"Er... Bakura."
"GOOD IDEA!"
"Great minds think alike, Marik!" Bakura shouted.
"NOW FOR SOME VODKA!"
"Wheeeeeeee!"
&end of chapter&
I'm depressed. I wanted to update. That explains the lack of humor. Sorry guys... OH AND IF YOU REVIEW I'LL UPDATE FASTER! and maybe make a Christmas scene in which they all get drunk. o_O