The Day the Universes Collided


Chapter Twenty-Three



Davenport Town

Delih Island

Time: 1000 hours


"Um, this isn't Hyrule." Link mumbled as the group of heroes stared at the bustling little town on the island. Waker looked around and sighed, shaking his head.

"We went off course. This island is about four days from New Hyrule. We'll need to use a boat to get to the island." he replied with a groan, "And the King of Red Lions is too small for you guys!"

"Should we spoil the ending to the game and tell Link who the the boat is?" Allstar whispered to his brother, arms folded behind his head. Dark Link made a face.

"And risk losing profit from more people not buying it to find out themselves? Nintendo of America is in a deep enough hole as it is, let's not ruin them even further by not allowing them to be able to make enough money to do other stuff than just translating our games for the U.S." he griped.

"NOA is broke?" Allstar murmured in surprise as Maverick walked ahead to a cafe, "Hey! Food! Wait up!" Cheering at the prospect of eating something other than Maverick's synthesized food and Alt Link's health food, the older Links raced for the cafe.

A pretty waitress greeted them and had them all seated by a window overlooking the ocean as she hurried off with menus and drinks. Waker leaned back against his chair and grinned as Allstar and Dark Link looked around in wonder.

"Cel-shaded or not, this place looks fabulous compared to the graphics I had!" Allstar remarked.

"This isn't the game. It's not cel-shaded, Bro. I'm just surprised at how bright and real it all looks!" Dark Link murmured in awe. He looked suddenly pained and turned to his brother. "We've lived in the Game Realm all our lives and have only seen the real world a couple of times. Are we being denied something wonderful by just being nothing but video game heroes and villains?" he asked.

"We aren't meant to live in the Realm of Humanity." Allstar sighed as the waitress returned with glasses of tea and juice for them. "The Great Collision proved that to us. If we were to live among the Players and Programmers, the Humans, we'd never have peace."

"Don't tell me you two are bawling over the fact that you're stuck in your world forever!" Elfin exclaimed over his glass of tea. "Thanks to you guys, I can see that video games aren't just games! They're the culmination of lots of people's hard work solely for Players, like my kids, to enjoy and have fun with, too!"

"Haven't you seen the cosplay costumes in EGM?" Maverick asked after sipping at his tea, "Or are you so airheaded that you only read Nintendo Power? You already don't get peace, what with hundreds of Players dressing up like you two and going to video game conventions like E3 in those getups."

"Those people are staring at us." Link murmured under his breath, looking at a group of pirates that watched them. He clutched his cup of juice and poked at Waker, "Who are those people? They keep staring at us!" Waker blinked and looked over at the pirates. He frowned.

"I don't know. They're not in Tetra's crew." he muttered as one got up and walked to them.

"Eh, ah, which one a youse guys is Link?" he asked, scratching his head in confusion. Allstar snickered and leaned back, relaxing.

"Which one ya want? We're all some kind of Link!" he replied with a grin. The pirate thought a bit and then smiled brightly as if he had just had a great idea.

"Yeah, Link the Hero of Time and Winds, the chosen WindWaker and eh, what was that last part? Oh yeah, crewman to Tetra, the Golden Pirate!" he recited and looked expectantly at them.

"There's that Hero of Time and Winds thing again. For the last time, I'm the Hero of Time!" Link shouted in frustration. The pirate scratched at the tip of his nose and furrowed his brows.

"Eh, we're looking for the Hero of Time and Winds. Not just the Hero of Time. We know the stories. He's dead." he replied. Link turned white and slumped back in shock as Allstar raised an eyebrow and then nodded.

"Oh yeah, that whole 'hundreds of years later' scheme. Yeah, Link, you'd be dead after a few hundred years." he told him, "Don't get so worked up about it. I've died a couple of times. Hasn't changed me much." he said with a bright smile. He jerked a thumb back at Dark Link. "Same with him!"

"Shut up." Dark Link grumbled and sipped at his cup of coffee. Waker sighed and raised his hand.

"The Link you're looking for is me. What is it?" he asked the pirate. The pirate looked relieved.

"Oh good. Well, ya see, the esteemed Princess Zelda sent out a notice by Rito post mail to every island in the Great Sea to find ya." he reported, "Seems she's mighty mad that a big storm's ripping New Hyrule apart and there's no WindWaker to calm it down. She's been looking for ya. She's even got the Golden Pirate, Capt. Tetra, hunting you down!"

"Heh, heh, they don't have a clue." Allstar snickered again. Dark Link glared at him.

"Don't give it away, you dork. We'll lose money." he pointed out. Allstar's mouth clapped shut. The mere thought of losing money kept him quiet.

"Tetra? Is she here?!" Waker yelped in shock. The door to the cafe was kicked open and a woman stormed in, blonde hair tied in a ponytail and dressed in the tattered clothes most pirates were known to wear. A red bandanna tied around her neck completed her ensemble, the blue vest bringing out the color of her deep blue eyes.

"Yes, she's here!!" she yelled at him, "Link, where the hell have you been?! I've been scouring the Great Sea looking for your sorry ass and you're here in some rat's hole, drinking yuppie water with a bunch of guys in the same freakish getup you still have?!" Waker smiled bashfully, a sweat drop coming down his head.

"Uh, nice to see you, too, Tetra." he managed to stammer out. Tetra grabbed him by the front of the tunic and hauled him up to her.

"Nice to see me?! Boy, have you any idea what the hell's been happening to New Hyrule?!" she screamed at him as she shook him. "You've got to get back there and fix that mess!"

"Storm's gotten worse?" Waker asked sheepishly.

"THAT'S AN UNDERSTATEMENT!!!" Tetra screamed at him and threw him back down onto the floor, "Get on the boat!"

"But...but...my friends...." Waker babbled as he tried to get up. Tetra planted a foot on his chest and pinned him.

"Then they all get on the boat! You're coming back to New Hyrule and getting rid of that Goddesses-damned storm that's already torn up the Lost Woods and half the bloody island!" she raged, "And I'll kick your sorry ass from here to Outset Island if you so much as try to use the WindWaker to warp yourself back there without me!"

"Zelda's mad." Allstar remarked calmly as Dark Link snickered at Waker, still sipping at his coffee.

"According to the readout from Zero, Waker has been missing from this world for a month and a half." Maverick remarked and clapped the SPC shut, tucking it back under his armor, "I suggest we do as the lady says." The Links got up and headed out of the cafe, Tetra dragging Waker along and shooting angry glares at the head of the cafe.

"On the house or this island is my next target!" she threatened as they headed for her ship. The owner gulped and nodded quickly.


*******


Tetra's Ship

Great Sea

Time: 1100 hours


Elfin raised an eyebrow as he watched Allstar and Dark Link introduce the ocean to their breakfast. The group had been sailing only an hour and already the Allstar Twins were getting seasick. Link sat on a barrel, thinking about the strange new world that replaced the familiar sights and sounds of Hyrule. Tetra had ordered her pirate crew to set sail and to raise the King of Red Lions alongside them like a life boat. She then dragged Waker into her room and slammed the door shut. Much shouting and screaming ensued.

"Either he's losing his virginity in there, or Tetra's acting like a woman PMSing." Elfin muttered and sighed, "She acts like my boss back home. I swear I would've gone deaf if I hadn't learned to keep a set of earplugs on hand."

"Dude, rated 'E', man...." Allstar managed to croak back at him with a frown, before retching and returning to the ocean view.

"This coming from the Link that likes to curse us out for taking his money." Elfin remarked with a grin and jumped as a very loud thud sounded. The Links looked toward the door of the captain's cabin, all with expressions of puzzlement and expectancy. What exactly was going on in there?

"Ummm...." Link murmured as Maverick grumbled and stormed to the door. "Maverick?!" The rouge Link glared at him, then pressed his ear to the door. After a moment of listening, he nodded and melted into a shadow, slipping through the door. "Maverick!!!"

"Tetra's gonna kill him." Allstar muttered and wiped his mouth with the back of his arm. He slowly pulled away from the side of the ship and sighed, "Okay, I feel a bit better now." Dark Link glared back at him.

"You made me seasick. I never had a problem with the water before." he grumbled. Allstar shrugged. "We need to update your tolerance programs again." Maverick flew back out of the cabin just then and reformed on the deck.

"Well?" Link asked him, "What's going on in there?" Maverick glanced at him and, after a moment, smiled.

"WindWaker Link is getting a rather interesting lesson. I merely suggested a few 'positions' for Tetra to try with him." he replied smugly and walked away. The Links all looked at each other and turned bright red, glancing back at the door where strange muffled sounds continued to emanate.

"How old is that kid again? I can't tell whether this can be classified as statutory rape. Does it count if there's no law on a pirate ship?" Elfin muttered, searching through his little notepad and flipping pages, all the while feeling his ears burn.

"Yo, Maverick! Where'd you learn about those positions again?!" Allstar called out and ran after him, "Hey! Can you tell me a few?! Zelda might get a kick out of it!"

"You're all sick! You hear me?! Sick, sick, sick!" Link shouted after them. Dark Link relaxed against the mast and sighed, shaking his head.

"If that's the case, we're in for a loooong trip." he muttered, "Links have real good stamina....."


*****


Time: 1500 hours


Dark Link drummed his fingers on the wooden table as Waker squirmed in his seat, blushing bright red and staring down at his plate. Link was watching him intently, a disapproving frown on his face. Elfin continued flipping through his notes as Allstar grinned hugely. Maverick merely gazed at the paintings and charts hung on the walls as Tetra rapped the table sharply for attention.

"All right! We'll be arriving at New Hyrule in four days' time! Three if I can get Link to keep the wind at our backs! All of you wannabes can help him out, but if you screw up and get him killed, I'm dropping your asses in the drink!" she declared and paused to shoot poisonous glares at Allstar. "Find something amusing, landlubber?!"

"How long did he last?" Allstar asked with a grin.

"Longer than you could, limp noodle! Pay attention!" Tetra barked. Allstar squeaked and hunched over, shocked by the way she answered. "The Sages have been ranting to me about the source of the commotion! It's right here!" Tetra went on and slapped a map onto the table, then stabbed at a spot on it with her sword, pinning it to the wood. "Death Mountain! You guys are to get up there, find that source and beat the holy shit out of it!" she ordered. Link raised a hand. "What?!"

"Do you know what happened to the original Hero of Time?" Link asked meekly. Tetra frowned and looked up at the ceiling.

"The Sages say that he was ambushed upon returning to Hyrule long, long ago. One of Ganon's minions shot a poison dart at him and took him to the Temple of Time, then murdered him to break the seal on the Evil Realm." she said in a monotonous tone, "Ganon placed a spell on his body to preserve him until he could gather enough power to convert the Hero of Time into the Warrior of Darkness, his personal right-hand henchman. But the ghost of the Hero of Time continued to fight him and finally killed himself to stop the nightmare that tortured his soul. Two years ago, he gave his soul to Link to save his life and passed on to the other world. His memories, his knowledge, his abilities were transferred to him. Thus Link came to be the Hero of Time as well as the Hero of Winds." She sighed and looked back at the group. "He was murdered, then committed suicide, then made a sacrifice to save a life. He died thrice and for that, Link the Hero of Time is truly immortalized."

"See? Told you you'd be dead." Allstar told Link.

"Enough! Now we're going to sail to New Hyrule and get you as close to Death Mountain as we can!" Tetra snapped, "The peak is on the southwestern island. We can land the ship at the base of the range, but it'll be up to you to get to Death Mountain's peak and stop that storm. Each island that makes up New Hyrule is besieged by storms. Link, you keep the winds around us steady. We'll do the land no good being fish food."

"Okay. I can already see a path we can take." Link remarked and traced a line on the map with his finger, "There's a small cove here just south of the mountains. Land there and we can take this 'Wolfang's Pass' to Death Mountain, following the lee of the range."

"That'll work. If the winds rotate to throw us off, Waker can redirect them away. Right?" Allstar remarked, studying the map. Waker nodded.

"All right then. From the pass, we use this cave here to take shelter in and then prepare for the climb. Who is next to fight the figurine?" Link asked as he gazed up at the group. The Links looked at each other in confusion.

"I defeated the one in Old Hyrule." Waker murmured.

"And I destroyed the one in Gallera." Link added, nodding.

"I destroyed the figurine of Nintendo Pre-Cataclysm." Maverick pointed out.

"While I beat the one in Nintendo Post-Cataclysm." Elfin put in, "That leaves...." The group looked at the Allstar Twins. Allstar blinked at them.

"What? You mean me and Dark Link have to get this one?" he asked in confusion. The group looked flatly at them.

"We're gonna fucking die." Link muttered, burying his face in his arms with a groan.