The Day the Universes Collided


Through the Eyes of a Swabbie


From the Logs of Niko Dagoo:


Day One:


I saw a wondrous sight t'day, Journal! Six Heroes! I counted them all meself! There was Link of course, my old swabbie, but the new laddies call him Waker. I suppose it suits him, he does 'wake' the wind after all! Who are the others, ye ask? Well, lemme tell ye about 'em.

There's this one that carries a sword of gold and stares out at the sea with the most sorrowful of expressions on his face. The landlubbers call this one the 'true' Link. I've seen his picture in Ms. Tetra's books and paintings of the Hero of Time. I suppose he doesn't like the idea of a great ocean covering up his old homeland.

Now, there's this other bloke with a strange small mask on his face and a fairy sittin' on his shoulder. He calls himself Elfin and follows Waker around constantly, pestering the swabbie about rape and what-not. I told him right then and there that me old pal, Waker, wouldn't do no rapes, 'specially not when Ms. Tetra's around, the possessive little lassie. Elfin merely gives me this little sneer and walks off, yammering nonsense about police this and officer that. He needs a good drink, if ye ask me, Journal.

Then there's the twins, Allstar and Dark Link. I read the tales of a Dark Link from days of old, the most evil warrior ever created. Then Ms. Tetra showed me another book. Said that there was another Dark Link that lived long ago that was made to protect the old Link. Whatever. These two blokes yammer constantly about strange games and work and money when they're not busy heaving their meals over the starboard side.

Finally, there's that little fella that stands off by his lonesome, watching the bunch of them and never says a word to anyone unless he feels like it. He's got these scars on his face that the others don't have and wears strange armor. I asked him about them after Ms. Tetra dismissed us all from that meetin' in the mess hall. Told me he got them in a bloody war that cost him his family and friends. A war vet'ran, Journal! We got us a war vet'ran on board!


Ms. Tetra says we sail for New Hyrule to end the curse of the storm. Ms. Tetra, truly, the esteemed Princess Zelda, isn't exactly happy with the fact that it's torn up a good chunk of acreage. Considering that the Sages are haunting her dreams with their reports and visions and whatnot, I don't blame the lassie. I have only one fear though, Journal. The way the new swabbies looked when Allstar looked stupefied by the idea of him and his brother having to defeat the curse did seem to say that we haven't a prayer.

Journal, I don't suppose the Goddesses will look out for us again, do ye?



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Day Two:


Waker stands at Ms. Tetra's side at the bow of the Regalion, our faithful ship, conducting the winds to stay at our backs and speed us to the mainland. Me, I tend to watch the new boys. Ms. Tetra's orders.


T'day, Allstar regaled the ocean with this morning's fixin's after yelling some hour or two about the lack of proper cooking and preparations. Dark Link did the same, minus the rants. He gave his brother quite an earful about making him sick of water. 'Twas an entertaining squabble they had later over a loaf of fresh made bread that Nudge set out. In the end, Ms. Tetra kicked 'em in the shins and gave the bread to Waker to divvy up to the bunch. Maverick, that's the Scar-Boy's name, Journal, had a good laugh about that. I learned the bloke's name after Elfin yelled it out. Seems he was using Elfin's fairy as target practice for his little pistol.


I had a chat with that Link fella, sittin' on our drinking water barrel. He had some interesting stories. He talked about old Hyrule, 'bout the lands and the forests, and the lake to the west. He even talked about the desert far to the west, where Ganondorf once ruled over a tribe of women thieves. All women, only one man every hund'rd years was born. Damn shame those women didn't make it to this day and age. I might have had me a damn fine pirate's wife!


Journal, ye think I could land a fine wife someday? Ms. Tetra's looking 'specially pretty when she's happy and smilin', but she's chased Link, eh, Waker I mean, from here to the Tower of the Gods. I wonder if either of them keep it up just for the fun of it. Waker looks awfully reddish whenever Ms. Tetra looks his way. Ye think it has somethin' to do with yesterday's shenanigans, Journal?



**********



Day Three:


Journal, I think the blokes have gone mad.


Allstar whipped out this odd mask this mornin', looked like his face painted up with red and blue marks and white hair. He holds it up to his face, doesn't actually put it on, and sneaks up behind Link. He screams like a banshee and the boy damn near jumps ship! Here's the kicker, though. He turns around to yell at Allstar, takes a good look at the mask, and damned if I've never seen him turn so white before! The two spent a good chunk of the mornin' running in circles on the deck, Allstar chasin' and laughin' his fool head off while Link's screaming bloody murder and something about a Fierce Deity with destructive powers. Dark Link's nearby, threatenin' Allstar with certain dooms and other painful things. I learned somethin' int'restin', Journal. If ye hit Allstar in the arm and bruise the bloke, the same bruise shows up on Dark Link, exactly the same as the first one. But if ye hit Dark Link first and give him a bruise, nothin' happens to Allstar. How do I know this, Journal? I tested it out by hittin' 'em.


Eh, yeah, that explains me bloody nose, Journal. Allstar and Dark Link ain't exactly happy 'bout the bruises. Somethin' about a fat plumber bein' pissed at them about 'flawed skin' or some crap like that.


Maverick's taken ta shootin' the fish in the sea. He's got a pack on him that he hasn't shown the others yet that's got all kinds of weapons and armors in it. He showed me one of 'em. It's like a cannon, but thin and silvery colored. He mounted it on his shoulder, peeped into this eyepiece that's on the side of it and held down the trigger. After a few seconds, during which the cannon was glowin' at the end of the barrel, he let go of the trigger. Damn! A big ass ball of something glowing and yellow shot out of that cannon and slammed the water! Steam and dead fish came up from the sea and he grins at me. I asked him what he called that demon gun.

"The Super Scope." he tells me.


Journal, I want one of those fer Winter Solstice.


Oh yeah, 'fore I ferget again, Elfin and Maverick have been looking at these funny little things with magic mirrors and buttons on 'em. They called up another meetin' and we all went to find out what was happenin'. Ms. Tetra spent most of t'day with Waker in her quarters. Both of them are looking kinda pinkish at the face. 'Bout time Waker got some; the boy was starting to worry me.

We've reached New Hyrule t'day, Journal. We'll be gettin' to the heart of it in a bit, after the meetin'. Waker's gonna be surroundin' the Regalion with a bubble of wind so's to keep the storm from tearing into us. I'm glad for that kid. New Hyrule's looking worse, what with flotsam and jetsam everywhere, clouds as black as death's shroud and winds screaming like banshees in eternal torment.


I gotta go, Journal, the meetin's about ta start and Allstar looks like he wants to whip out that mask again. Link's shooting the evil eye at him and Dark Link's doin' the same to me. I s'pose he's not entirely forgiven me for that experimentin' I did to him. Elfin and Maverick aren't lookin' happy. I think somethin's bad about to happen.


Journal, ya think the Goddesses will hear me prayin' in me head? I don't want to die. And I don't want these swabbies dyin' neither, they're good men. Strange, but good.

Oh, Ms. Tetra's callin' to order. Better close up fer t'day......