A/N: Sorry this took so long!
________________________________________________________-
"Now Remmy! NOW!" Sirius shouted, seeing the look on Hagrid's face, and
they both sprinted off to the boats. Remus grabbed Hagrid's boat and he and
Sirius jumped in, leading the frightened first years across the lake. Remus
grabbed the paddles and started to row like a crazy man.
"Row man! Row! Row like you've never rowed before!!" Sirius shouted in a
thick Irish accent as he stood at the front of the boat, Remus rowing his
heart out.
"I'm giving her all she's got captain! It isn't working!" Remus shouted
back in an equally thick accent as they slowly edged forward.
"You must row men!!! Row!! We attack at dawn!!!" Sirius shouted to the
first years, pointing at Hogwarts. The first years all turned to one
another, confused and slightly scared. They began to whisper hurriedly to
each other.
____________________________________________________________________-
"Song, song, song." The other Gryffindors chanted as the Marauders and Lily
walked into the Common Room.
"As if you four needed any more praise." Lily sighed.
"We can always use more praise." Sirius protested.
"Sirius, if your head were any bigger, it'd be declared a continent."
"Why Lily, you wound me." Sirius said, faking a pout.
"Good. Your ego needs a few holes in it, to let out all that hot air your
full of."
"Um, how did she start winning this?" Sirius asked. "I'm the one who's
supposed to be winning."
"In your dreams Padfoot." Remus said, rolling his eyes.
"Actually, my dreams are much more fun. And usually involve half the girls
in our year." Sirius added with a sly grin.
"I don't want to know." Remus said, burying his face in his hands.
"Well, before Sirius goes on to describe these fantasies of his, I say we
obey the rather loud chanting crowd and sing." James interrupted.
__________________________________________________________________-
Harry noticed A large black dog roaming the corridors when they walked in.
"Padfoot!" Harry called. Padfoot trotted over to Harry. He crouched down
and scratched his ears. "What are you doing?"
"He stole my sock!" cried Remus, running down the stairs. He leapt at the
dog. Werewolf and dog wrestled across the entry hall. Eventually Harry
broke them apart and gave Remus's sock to him.
"Padfoot, Moony, go to your chambers. You're confined to your chambers
until further notice," Harry ordered.
"Aren't we supposed to be in charge of him?" asked Sirius.
"I think so," Remus said slowly. They continued discussing this until they
reached their rooms. Then they had to occupy themselves with making their
own breakfast.
"They are truly hilarious," Ron said, shaking his head.
-______________________________________________________________________
"Did my dad ski too?" asked Harry, fascinated.
"Oh, I wouldn't call it skiing!" Sirius laughed, "it was mostly crashing.
Into me, usually. Or vice versa. We were hopeless."
"Really?" Harry couldn't help feeling a little disappointed; he had always
carried a firm resolve that his father had been good at everything.
"Well, some of the crashing was on purpose," said Sirius, "it was a
constant feud to see who could get the most snow down the other person's
jacket. We tried it on an icy slope once - nearly cracked our skulls open.
You don't know how hard ice is until you're landing onto it at forty miles
an hour. Lily could do better, though - when she stopped she could spray
snow twenty feet without so much as a speck on herself. Get us both in one
blast, and be off before we knew it. Oh, I don't remember ever using drying
spells as much as when Lily was in a silly mood in the snow," he leaned
back against the seat, chuckling.
_____________________________________________________________________-
The grin was still on Sirius' face, and even from a side view, James could
see the mischievous twinkle in his midnight blue eyes. The words were
legible now, and there was simultaneous, loud laughter at what it formed.
In neon pink, flashing letters, the phrase: 'I want to be Professor Binn's
love monkey' had appeared over Snape's head, coupled with that flashing
arrow that pointed down at the Slytherin.
The class seemed to be in hysterics, the funny incident increased by the
fact that they had been bored to death previously. Professor Binns turned
around sharply to see what was so amusing. His eyes widened at the words
that were apparent over the confused Snape's head, which was looking around
to see what everyone was laughing at. "Who- who is responsible for this?"
Binns cried, looking around at the still-laughing students.
Sirius leaned back in his chair innocently, seeming to laugh in stride with
everyone else. Binns was perfectly aware of the hatred between the
Slytherins and Gryffindors, and his eyes immediately roamed over to Sirius,
who had his trademark grin on his face.
"Mr. Black? Is this your doing?' He demanded, motioning towards the words
frantically.
All eyes immediately lay upon the daring second year, who didn't seem fazed
a bit. "Professor, I'm as innocent as I appear." His expression changed
into one that would melt anyone's heart. His eyes seemed bigger and bluer-
like a reflective ocean before a storm. His lips were formed into a
charming smile, and his strands of silky hair framed his eyes perfectly,
yet effortlessly. The most innocent expression was placed on his face, and
if a neon-like sign and arrow hadn't suggested that Snape wanted to be his
"love monkey," the Professor would have smiled at the boy's charm.
However, Professor Binns didn't want to let the young Black get away with
this. He knew it was Sirius; even James, Remus and Peter wouldn't dare to
do something as bold as this in the middle of class. He would have to get
the truth out of the boy the hard way.
Sirius almost allowed himself a grin. The Professor seemed to be falling
for his innocent expression. When he had said that he was as innocent as he
looked, he had taken it into account that the old teacher probably wouldn't
be able to see the inevitable, devilish glint in his eyes. Binns looked at
him, seeming convinced, but secretly playing his part.
"Very well, Mr. Black. I believe you. If it was not you, I know who it
really was. Mr. Potter. detention." Sirius and James' mouths both dropped
open at the same time.
"Professor.I."
"Professor.he." Protests were made by both boys, but Binns held up his hand
to silence them. He could barely stop his lips from twitching up in a
smirk. Sirius' innocent expression had fallen off his face, and he looked
stunned. James also looked surprised.
By now, Snape had found out about the words over his head, and was glaring
at the Marauders, snarling in anger.
"Enough, boys. For pulling such a stunt and using such. explicit-" he
almost blushed, "innuendo as you have, Mr. Potter, you will have three days
of detention starting tomorrow." James took it all in stride, and without
even a reproachful look at Sirius, he nodded obediently and silently. "Now,
back to the lesson.the history of magic is a long and complicated line of
events. Important people, important dates, important spells, incantations."
Sirius raising his hand interrupted him in his sentence. "Yes, Mr. Black?"
Binns said, knowing what was coming next.
Sirius couldn't believe it that Binns had given James detentions for his
prank. He saw James redden for a second, but then his best friend accepted
the punishment, and hadn't even given him a single nasty look. Sirius
couldn't just let his friend get in trouble for his prank. Besides, it was
quite a genius phrase and idea he had. he couldn't have James taking all
the credit.and he was feeling guilty already that the boy got his
detentions.
"'Scuse me, Professor. One thing to say, one tiny comment. I noticed that
you gave my best friend three detentions for that prank. You know, that's a
bit excessive, don't you think? I mean, it was just a harmless prank. It's
not like Snape sprouted a tail or anything. Oh, and- uh, it was my fault.
My prank. Not James'. So the detentions are mine.yeah.thanks." He gave a
tiny cough at the end of his little speech, and placed one hand behind his
head.
Binns smiled inwardly at the boy, but plastered a reproachful look on his
face. The loyalty that Sirius, James, Remus and Peter showed towards each
other was astonishing. The Professor knew that once he had given James the
detentions meant for Sirius, the raven-haired boy would confess so his
friend wouldn't get his detention. "Very well, Mr. Black. Thank you for
your honesty though it would have been much better received for telling the
truth the first time. An extra hour of detention for lying."
Sirius opened his mouth to protest, but shut it immediately, not wanting to
get in more trouble. at the moment. He slumped back into his chair,
sighing. "Now, to take that spell off you, Mr. Snape." Binns continued.
Sirius bolted upright in his seat, eyes wide. "No! Professor, don't!" He
shouted, but it was too late. Binns had shot a spell towards the words, and
blue sparks erupted out of the wand tip. Nothing happened for a second, so
James looked over at Sirius to see what was wrong. The usually mischievous
and carefree boy looked horribly nervous, and his eyes kept darting to the
door.
Everyone stared at the words and arrow above Snape's head, wondering why
nothing was happening. There was a small flash of light, but instead of
disappearing, the words faded, and new ones appeared in place of it. James
choked in hysterics, almost falling out of his seat when he saw what the
words read.
Emerald, signature written words were in place of the old ones and Binns'
face turned a violent shade of red when he read them. The arrow blinked
even more furiously, and the words above it read: "Stuff some galleons down
my bra, and you'll see how much fun we can have tonight, Binns."
There were loud guffaws and roars of laughter as a kid in the back of the
room fell out of his seat in hilarity. Binns threw another spell at the
words to disappear them, but only new ones appeared. This time, the new
phrase made five students total fall out of their seats, and the
Professor's face to turn an ugly, violet shade.
The words now read: "Care to join me for an erotic fuck?" Binns turned
around to Sirius, who was trying to hold back his laughter due to the fact
that Binns looked like he was about to skin the boy alive. Sirius' eyes
dashed to the door again as the enraged teacher rounded on him.
"Bloody hell, professor," Sirius said nervously, scooting backwards in his
seat. "You may want to control that anger. you may pop a vein. or your face
will stay that color permanently or something." Sirius felt the edge of the
seat with his hand, and swung his long legs over the back, landing
gracefully on his feet.
Binns was advancing slowly, and his eyes glistened dangerously as his wand
arm raised. Sirius gave one last look at the door, and then over Binn's
shoulder to his friends, who were still laughing. When the Professor was
fairly close to him, Sirius turned around, and bolted out of the door. The
students were surprised to see Binn's run after him.
_____________________________________________________________-
He gaped for a moment, the heard a roar outside, he turned to see a large
truck with the words "PRINGLES GOTTA LOVE EM" on the side.
Screaming, Sirius chased the truck.
^*^
Sirius had been running for a few hours after that truck, it had been
riding around in circles throughout the city.
The driver had noticed Sirius, and had taken to slowing down so Sirius
could catch up, then when he was within arm distance, speeding back up. He
seemed to find this funny; Sirius was think of ways to hex the man.
Sirius continued to run, and turned around to see if anything was behind
him.
Big Mistake.
He ran smack dab into the Pringles truck and knocked himself unconscious.
__________________________________________________________-
"We will begin tonight with The Marauders." Dumbledore smiled. "They will
be singing Welcome Back My Friends."
James-
Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends
We're so glad you could attend
Come inside! Come inside!
Sirius-
There behind a glass is a real blade of grass
be careful as you pass.
Move along! Move along!
Remus-
Come inside, the show's about to start
guaranteed to blow your head apart
Rest assured you'll get your money's worth
The greatest show in Heaven, Hell or Earth.
All-
You've got to see the show, it's a dynamo.
You've got to see the show, it's rock and roll ....
Peter-
Soon the Gypsy Queen in a glaze of Vaseline
Will perform on guillotine
What a scene! What a scene!
Remus-
Next upon the stand will you please extend a hand
to Alexander's Ragtime Band
Roll up! Roll up! Roll up!
See the show!
Sirius-
Performing on a stool we've a sight to make you drool
Seven virgins and a mule!
Keep it cool. Keep it cool.
James-
We would like it to be known the exhibits that were shown
were exclusively our own,
All our own. All our own.
All-
Come and see the show! Come and see the show! Come and see the show!
See the show!
_____________________________________________________________-
Dear Santa,
I'm only this for Peter and Sirius is really annoying. So here's my list
and if you don't make them come true we'll find you and blow up you're
igloo.
Explosives
More explosives
Hogwarts map
Hogsmead map
More explosives
Secret escapes from Hogwarts
A way into the Slytherin dorms
Shampoo for Snape
Deodorant for Malfoy
More explosives
A brain for Peter. Poor kid. One he can understand.
Make Lily Evans like me.
Remember, do it or no more igloo!
James C. Potter
Sirius and James snickered together. Peter looked horrified. Remus shot
them a "Your dead when we're away from the innocent one." Look and said.
"And Sirius' list."
Dear Evil Elf Worker,
Is it true you use under-aged elves! YOU'RE A BAD, BAD MAN! So, either you
give me this stuff or I'll go to the Daily Prophet, Witch Weekly, and every
other paper in the World. Mwuhwahwahwahwa!
Explosives
More explosives
Give James a date with Lily Evans
Give Remus more books, he deserves them
Have the Reindeer eat Snape & Malfoy
Give Snape shampoo before he dies
Give Malfoy deodorant before he dies
Give Peter a girlfriend and make him stop flirting with us
Explosives
A Hogwarts toilet seat
Oh, and besides ruining your reputation I'll help James blow up your igloo!
Sirius L. Black
_________________________________________________________-
"Are you trying to pin your issues on me?" gasped Sirius. "I'm the only
sane person here!"
The three others stared at him in an awkward silence for a few minutes.
"What?" asked Sirius. "WHAT?"
"Try INsane," Remus finally muttered.
"I resent that," said Sirius five minutes later when the comment had sunk
in.
_________________________________________________________-
" Uh-Oh I smell trouble," Lily said.
" No my dear Liliflower that is just James you smell," Sirius said
gleefully.
" Shut up Padfoot, that's not what she meant.
_________________________________________________________-
"What are all those cute nicknames you guys use for each other?" Genie
asked them, pouring some more pumpkin juice.
"Yea, I'm sure the whole school wonders about that." Tatiana said, putting
a
lock of her dark hair behind her ear, and leaning in to see all their
faces,
gazing at them all with her light green eyes.
"Well," Sirius said, "I'm Pad- Ow!" Sirius stopped, rubbed his leg, and
glared at
James.
James gave him a piercing look. "Sorry - I'm not Pad. but um." he cleared
his throat and quickly glanced at James, "Tampon." All the girls choked on
their food and whipped their heads up to look at Sirius. They guys all
became
wide-eyed. Genie and Dakota looked at each other, than back at Sirius. "You
know. know how teenage guys are."
The two girls slowly nodded their heads.
"James over there is uh. Thongs." Lily burst out laughing as James hid his
smile by taking a slow, long drink. Everyone else was containing his or her
laughter beautifully.
"Remus is. is. what are you again, Remus?"
"Uh - Moon-me." He replied quickly. Jen started to take shuddering
breathes,
trying to keep her mirth inside. A couple of people around them stared as
the
bunch of Gryffindors continued to burst out into laughter after feeble
attempts
at caging it.
"Right, right. Sorry I forgot - spring heat." Sirius said, nearly rupturing
from his
contained laughter.
"That's ok, Tampon old friend." Remus replied, keeping a straight face, and
patting Sirius' hand across the table. Students about them started laughing
as
well.
"And Peter. he's," Sirius swallowed to keep from laughing, then said, an
octave higher than usual, "Sperm Whale."
James fell off the bench, and laughed on the floor, with his legs on the
bench.
Peter banged his head on the table multiple times. Remus was laughing into
his folded arms on the table, as Jen laughed and supported herself on his
back. Lily fell across
James' legs, while Mel laughed and clung onto a chortling Gus as Ara slowly
pounded a fist on Sirius' back as she laughed.
Sirius himself kept himself up right, and calmly ate a roll, ripping off
pieces
and popping them into his mouth. Not to say he wasn't smiling, or shaking
slightly. oh he was.
As people began to calm down, and in James' case, get back seated on the
bench, Genie looked confused.
"Where'd you get the last one?" she asked.
"If only you knew Gene. If only you knew." Sirius said as people laughed
some
more.
"Well, we have Ancient Runes now." Sirius addressed all his friends. "Come
on, Moon-me, Sperm Whale, Thongs, ladies."
They all got up slowly, too weak from laughing, and grabbed their bags -
everyone unable to stop smiling.
"I'll see you guys there. I have to talk to Dumbledore for a second." Lily
said,
kissing James on the cheek.
Sirius kissed Tatiana on the cheek, waved to Dakota, and left with his
friends.
"I didn't mean to make some up, Tampon." James said as Sirius caught up
with them.
"Well, Thongs, I wasn't just going to shut up and leave them in the dark.
That'd
just be rude." Sirius said.
"Messrs. Moon-me, Sperm Whale, Tampon, and Thongs. Purveyors of Aids to
Magical Mischief-Makers." Remus said with a flourish, sweeping his hands in
front of himself.
******
A/N: Please help me out here! I Forgot to copy down who wrote this. If you
know, please, please leave it in a review or e-mail me! I'll dedicate the
Next Chapter to you!
*************************************************************
Pieces from:
The Bond Of An Army By Flaming*Water
Snowstorms By Tawa bids you good day
Padfoot and Moony Return to HoggywartyHogwarts! By Anrion
To Enrage a Teacher By Padawan Jess Kenobi
The Marauder Singing Contest (The Rematch!) By Ariana Black
Padfoot Wants Pringles By Mauve Lipgloss
The Marauders Christmas lists! By Calista Black
Pointless Dialogue from the Marauders By Rhapsody in pink
How They Found Out By kimmerz
***********************************************************
Thank yous to PRINCESS-WILDFIRE, DavidCamp, and Katyla
5 more reviews for the next chapter! Flames count! Please people, I'm
desperate here! Don't you know Reviews are an Authors life source!
________________________________________________________-
"Now Remmy! NOW!" Sirius shouted, seeing the look on Hagrid's face, and
they both sprinted off to the boats. Remus grabbed Hagrid's boat and he and
Sirius jumped in, leading the frightened first years across the lake. Remus
grabbed the paddles and started to row like a crazy man.
"Row man! Row! Row like you've never rowed before!!" Sirius shouted in a
thick Irish accent as he stood at the front of the boat, Remus rowing his
heart out.
"I'm giving her all she's got captain! It isn't working!" Remus shouted
back in an equally thick accent as they slowly edged forward.
"You must row men!!! Row!! We attack at dawn!!!" Sirius shouted to the
first years, pointing at Hogwarts. The first years all turned to one
another, confused and slightly scared. They began to whisper hurriedly to
each other.
____________________________________________________________________-
"Song, song, song." The other Gryffindors chanted as the Marauders and Lily
walked into the Common Room.
"As if you four needed any more praise." Lily sighed.
"We can always use more praise." Sirius protested.
"Sirius, if your head were any bigger, it'd be declared a continent."
"Why Lily, you wound me." Sirius said, faking a pout.
"Good. Your ego needs a few holes in it, to let out all that hot air your
full of."
"Um, how did she start winning this?" Sirius asked. "I'm the one who's
supposed to be winning."
"In your dreams Padfoot." Remus said, rolling his eyes.
"Actually, my dreams are much more fun. And usually involve half the girls
in our year." Sirius added with a sly grin.
"I don't want to know." Remus said, burying his face in his hands.
"Well, before Sirius goes on to describe these fantasies of his, I say we
obey the rather loud chanting crowd and sing." James interrupted.
__________________________________________________________________-
Harry noticed A large black dog roaming the corridors when they walked in.
"Padfoot!" Harry called. Padfoot trotted over to Harry. He crouched down
and scratched his ears. "What are you doing?"
"He stole my sock!" cried Remus, running down the stairs. He leapt at the
dog. Werewolf and dog wrestled across the entry hall. Eventually Harry
broke them apart and gave Remus's sock to him.
"Padfoot, Moony, go to your chambers. You're confined to your chambers
until further notice," Harry ordered.
"Aren't we supposed to be in charge of him?" asked Sirius.
"I think so," Remus said slowly. They continued discussing this until they
reached their rooms. Then they had to occupy themselves with making their
own breakfast.
"They are truly hilarious," Ron said, shaking his head.
-______________________________________________________________________
"Did my dad ski too?" asked Harry, fascinated.
"Oh, I wouldn't call it skiing!" Sirius laughed, "it was mostly crashing.
Into me, usually. Or vice versa. We were hopeless."
"Really?" Harry couldn't help feeling a little disappointed; he had always
carried a firm resolve that his father had been good at everything.
"Well, some of the crashing was on purpose," said Sirius, "it was a
constant feud to see who could get the most snow down the other person's
jacket. We tried it on an icy slope once - nearly cracked our skulls open.
You don't know how hard ice is until you're landing onto it at forty miles
an hour. Lily could do better, though - when she stopped she could spray
snow twenty feet without so much as a speck on herself. Get us both in one
blast, and be off before we knew it. Oh, I don't remember ever using drying
spells as much as when Lily was in a silly mood in the snow," he leaned
back against the seat, chuckling.
_____________________________________________________________________-
The grin was still on Sirius' face, and even from a side view, James could
see the mischievous twinkle in his midnight blue eyes. The words were
legible now, and there was simultaneous, loud laughter at what it formed.
In neon pink, flashing letters, the phrase: 'I want to be Professor Binn's
love monkey' had appeared over Snape's head, coupled with that flashing
arrow that pointed down at the Slytherin.
The class seemed to be in hysterics, the funny incident increased by the
fact that they had been bored to death previously. Professor Binns turned
around sharply to see what was so amusing. His eyes widened at the words
that were apparent over the confused Snape's head, which was looking around
to see what everyone was laughing at. "Who- who is responsible for this?"
Binns cried, looking around at the still-laughing students.
Sirius leaned back in his chair innocently, seeming to laugh in stride with
everyone else. Binns was perfectly aware of the hatred between the
Slytherins and Gryffindors, and his eyes immediately roamed over to Sirius,
who had his trademark grin on his face.
"Mr. Black? Is this your doing?' He demanded, motioning towards the words
frantically.
All eyes immediately lay upon the daring second year, who didn't seem fazed
a bit. "Professor, I'm as innocent as I appear." His expression changed
into one that would melt anyone's heart. His eyes seemed bigger and bluer-
like a reflective ocean before a storm. His lips were formed into a
charming smile, and his strands of silky hair framed his eyes perfectly,
yet effortlessly. The most innocent expression was placed on his face, and
if a neon-like sign and arrow hadn't suggested that Snape wanted to be his
"love monkey," the Professor would have smiled at the boy's charm.
However, Professor Binns didn't want to let the young Black get away with
this. He knew it was Sirius; even James, Remus and Peter wouldn't dare to
do something as bold as this in the middle of class. He would have to get
the truth out of the boy the hard way.
Sirius almost allowed himself a grin. The Professor seemed to be falling
for his innocent expression. When he had said that he was as innocent as he
looked, he had taken it into account that the old teacher probably wouldn't
be able to see the inevitable, devilish glint in his eyes. Binns looked at
him, seeming convinced, but secretly playing his part.
"Very well, Mr. Black. I believe you. If it was not you, I know who it
really was. Mr. Potter. detention." Sirius and James' mouths both dropped
open at the same time.
"Professor.I."
"Professor.he." Protests were made by both boys, but Binns held up his hand
to silence them. He could barely stop his lips from twitching up in a
smirk. Sirius' innocent expression had fallen off his face, and he looked
stunned. James also looked surprised.
By now, Snape had found out about the words over his head, and was glaring
at the Marauders, snarling in anger.
"Enough, boys. For pulling such a stunt and using such. explicit-" he
almost blushed, "innuendo as you have, Mr. Potter, you will have three days
of detention starting tomorrow." James took it all in stride, and without
even a reproachful look at Sirius, he nodded obediently and silently. "Now,
back to the lesson.the history of magic is a long and complicated line of
events. Important people, important dates, important spells, incantations."
Sirius raising his hand interrupted him in his sentence. "Yes, Mr. Black?"
Binns said, knowing what was coming next.
Sirius couldn't believe it that Binns had given James detentions for his
prank. He saw James redden for a second, but then his best friend accepted
the punishment, and hadn't even given him a single nasty look. Sirius
couldn't just let his friend get in trouble for his prank. Besides, it was
quite a genius phrase and idea he had. he couldn't have James taking all
the credit.and he was feeling guilty already that the boy got his
detentions.
"'Scuse me, Professor. One thing to say, one tiny comment. I noticed that
you gave my best friend three detentions for that prank. You know, that's a
bit excessive, don't you think? I mean, it was just a harmless prank. It's
not like Snape sprouted a tail or anything. Oh, and- uh, it was my fault.
My prank. Not James'. So the detentions are mine.yeah.thanks." He gave a
tiny cough at the end of his little speech, and placed one hand behind his
head.
Binns smiled inwardly at the boy, but plastered a reproachful look on his
face. The loyalty that Sirius, James, Remus and Peter showed towards each
other was astonishing. The Professor knew that once he had given James the
detentions meant for Sirius, the raven-haired boy would confess so his
friend wouldn't get his detention. "Very well, Mr. Black. Thank you for
your honesty though it would have been much better received for telling the
truth the first time. An extra hour of detention for lying."
Sirius opened his mouth to protest, but shut it immediately, not wanting to
get in more trouble. at the moment. He slumped back into his chair,
sighing. "Now, to take that spell off you, Mr. Snape." Binns continued.
Sirius bolted upright in his seat, eyes wide. "No! Professor, don't!" He
shouted, but it was too late. Binns had shot a spell towards the words, and
blue sparks erupted out of the wand tip. Nothing happened for a second, so
James looked over at Sirius to see what was wrong. The usually mischievous
and carefree boy looked horribly nervous, and his eyes kept darting to the
door.
Everyone stared at the words and arrow above Snape's head, wondering why
nothing was happening. There was a small flash of light, but instead of
disappearing, the words faded, and new ones appeared in place of it. James
choked in hysterics, almost falling out of his seat when he saw what the
words read.
Emerald, signature written words were in place of the old ones and Binns'
face turned a violent shade of red when he read them. The arrow blinked
even more furiously, and the words above it read: "Stuff some galleons down
my bra, and you'll see how much fun we can have tonight, Binns."
There were loud guffaws and roars of laughter as a kid in the back of the
room fell out of his seat in hilarity. Binns threw another spell at the
words to disappear them, but only new ones appeared. This time, the new
phrase made five students total fall out of their seats, and the
Professor's face to turn an ugly, violet shade.
The words now read: "Care to join me for an erotic fuck?" Binns turned
around to Sirius, who was trying to hold back his laughter due to the fact
that Binns looked like he was about to skin the boy alive. Sirius' eyes
dashed to the door again as the enraged teacher rounded on him.
"Bloody hell, professor," Sirius said nervously, scooting backwards in his
seat. "You may want to control that anger. you may pop a vein. or your face
will stay that color permanently or something." Sirius felt the edge of the
seat with his hand, and swung his long legs over the back, landing
gracefully on his feet.
Binns was advancing slowly, and his eyes glistened dangerously as his wand
arm raised. Sirius gave one last look at the door, and then over Binn's
shoulder to his friends, who were still laughing. When the Professor was
fairly close to him, Sirius turned around, and bolted out of the door. The
students were surprised to see Binn's run after him.
_____________________________________________________________-
He gaped for a moment, the heard a roar outside, he turned to see a large
truck with the words "PRINGLES GOTTA LOVE EM" on the side.
Screaming, Sirius chased the truck.
^*^
Sirius had been running for a few hours after that truck, it had been
riding around in circles throughout the city.
The driver had noticed Sirius, and had taken to slowing down so Sirius
could catch up, then when he was within arm distance, speeding back up. He
seemed to find this funny; Sirius was think of ways to hex the man.
Sirius continued to run, and turned around to see if anything was behind
him.
Big Mistake.
He ran smack dab into the Pringles truck and knocked himself unconscious.
__________________________________________________________-
"We will begin tonight with The Marauders." Dumbledore smiled. "They will
be singing Welcome Back My Friends."
James-
Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends
We're so glad you could attend
Come inside! Come inside!
Sirius-
There behind a glass is a real blade of grass
be careful as you pass.
Move along! Move along!
Remus-
Come inside, the show's about to start
guaranteed to blow your head apart
Rest assured you'll get your money's worth
The greatest show in Heaven, Hell or Earth.
All-
You've got to see the show, it's a dynamo.
You've got to see the show, it's rock and roll ....
Peter-
Soon the Gypsy Queen in a glaze of Vaseline
Will perform on guillotine
What a scene! What a scene!
Remus-
Next upon the stand will you please extend a hand
to Alexander's Ragtime Band
Roll up! Roll up! Roll up!
See the show!
Sirius-
Performing on a stool we've a sight to make you drool
Seven virgins and a mule!
Keep it cool. Keep it cool.
James-
We would like it to be known the exhibits that were shown
were exclusively our own,
All our own. All our own.
All-
Come and see the show! Come and see the show! Come and see the show!
See the show!
_____________________________________________________________-
Dear Santa,
I'm only this for Peter and Sirius is really annoying. So here's my list
and if you don't make them come true we'll find you and blow up you're
igloo.
Explosives
More explosives
Hogwarts map
Hogsmead map
More explosives
Secret escapes from Hogwarts
A way into the Slytherin dorms
Shampoo for Snape
Deodorant for Malfoy
More explosives
A brain for Peter. Poor kid. One he can understand.
Make Lily Evans like me.
Remember, do it or no more igloo!
James C. Potter
Sirius and James snickered together. Peter looked horrified. Remus shot
them a "Your dead when we're away from the innocent one." Look and said.
"And Sirius' list."
Dear Evil Elf Worker,
Is it true you use under-aged elves! YOU'RE A BAD, BAD MAN! So, either you
give me this stuff or I'll go to the Daily Prophet, Witch Weekly, and every
other paper in the World. Mwuhwahwahwahwa!
Explosives
More explosives
Give James a date with Lily Evans
Give Remus more books, he deserves them
Have the Reindeer eat Snape & Malfoy
Give Snape shampoo before he dies
Give Malfoy deodorant before he dies
Give Peter a girlfriend and make him stop flirting with us
Explosives
A Hogwarts toilet seat
Oh, and besides ruining your reputation I'll help James blow up your igloo!
Sirius L. Black
_________________________________________________________-
"Are you trying to pin your issues on me?" gasped Sirius. "I'm the only
sane person here!"
The three others stared at him in an awkward silence for a few minutes.
"What?" asked Sirius. "WHAT?"
"Try INsane," Remus finally muttered.
"I resent that," said Sirius five minutes later when the comment had sunk
in.
_________________________________________________________-
" Uh-Oh I smell trouble," Lily said.
" No my dear Liliflower that is just James you smell," Sirius said
gleefully.
" Shut up Padfoot, that's not what she meant.
_________________________________________________________-
"What are all those cute nicknames you guys use for each other?" Genie
asked them, pouring some more pumpkin juice.
"Yea, I'm sure the whole school wonders about that." Tatiana said, putting
a
lock of her dark hair behind her ear, and leaning in to see all their
faces,
gazing at them all with her light green eyes.
"Well," Sirius said, "I'm Pad- Ow!" Sirius stopped, rubbed his leg, and
glared at
James.
James gave him a piercing look. "Sorry - I'm not Pad. but um." he cleared
his throat and quickly glanced at James, "Tampon." All the girls choked on
their food and whipped their heads up to look at Sirius. They guys all
became
wide-eyed. Genie and Dakota looked at each other, than back at Sirius. "You
know. know how teenage guys are."
The two girls slowly nodded their heads.
"James over there is uh. Thongs." Lily burst out laughing as James hid his
smile by taking a slow, long drink. Everyone else was containing his or her
laughter beautifully.
"Remus is. is. what are you again, Remus?"
"Uh - Moon-me." He replied quickly. Jen started to take shuddering
breathes,
trying to keep her mirth inside. A couple of people around them stared as
the
bunch of Gryffindors continued to burst out into laughter after feeble
attempts
at caging it.
"Right, right. Sorry I forgot - spring heat." Sirius said, nearly rupturing
from his
contained laughter.
"That's ok, Tampon old friend." Remus replied, keeping a straight face, and
patting Sirius' hand across the table. Students about them started laughing
as
well.
"And Peter. he's," Sirius swallowed to keep from laughing, then said, an
octave higher than usual, "Sperm Whale."
James fell off the bench, and laughed on the floor, with his legs on the
bench.
Peter banged his head on the table multiple times. Remus was laughing into
his folded arms on the table, as Jen laughed and supported herself on his
back. Lily fell across
James' legs, while Mel laughed and clung onto a chortling Gus as Ara slowly
pounded a fist on Sirius' back as she laughed.
Sirius himself kept himself up right, and calmly ate a roll, ripping off
pieces
and popping them into his mouth. Not to say he wasn't smiling, or shaking
slightly. oh he was.
As people began to calm down, and in James' case, get back seated on the
bench, Genie looked confused.
"Where'd you get the last one?" she asked.
"If only you knew Gene. If only you knew." Sirius said as people laughed
some
more.
"Well, we have Ancient Runes now." Sirius addressed all his friends. "Come
on, Moon-me, Sperm Whale, Thongs, ladies."
They all got up slowly, too weak from laughing, and grabbed their bags -
everyone unable to stop smiling.
"I'll see you guys there. I have to talk to Dumbledore for a second." Lily
said,
kissing James on the cheek.
Sirius kissed Tatiana on the cheek, waved to Dakota, and left with his
friends.
"I didn't mean to make some up, Tampon." James said as Sirius caught up
with them.
"Well, Thongs, I wasn't just going to shut up and leave them in the dark.
That'd
just be rude." Sirius said.
"Messrs. Moon-me, Sperm Whale, Tampon, and Thongs. Purveyors of Aids to
Magical Mischief-Makers." Remus said with a flourish, sweeping his hands in
front of himself.
******
A/N: Please help me out here! I Forgot to copy down who wrote this. If you
know, please, please leave it in a review or e-mail me! I'll dedicate the
Next Chapter to you!
*************************************************************
Pieces from:
The Bond Of An Army By Flaming*Water
Snowstorms By Tawa bids you good day
Padfoot and Moony Return to HoggywartyHogwarts! By Anrion
To Enrage a Teacher By Padawan Jess Kenobi
The Marauder Singing Contest (The Rematch!) By Ariana Black
Padfoot Wants Pringles By Mauve Lipgloss
The Marauders Christmas lists! By Calista Black
Pointless Dialogue from the Marauders By Rhapsody in pink
How They Found Out By kimmerz
***********************************************************
Thank yous to PRINCESS-WILDFIRE, DavidCamp, and Katyla
5 more reviews for the next chapter! Flames count! Please people, I'm
desperate here! Don't you know Reviews are an Authors life source!