A/N: Thank you to Kyra Invictus Black and Sirius's crazy chick for
reviewing.
Disclaimer: Yes! I own Harry Potter, and I am writing stupid, Non-profit, meaningless stories on an obscure website. Come on people! Use your brains! ___________________________________________________________-
Sirius stood up, and letting his dark hair fall elegantly over his handsome face he said "Okay, James see you later...In transfiguration right?" James and Peter looked blankly at him, but a second later his plan became all to clear. Sirius turned on his heal and gently bumped into Charlotte Brown, knocking the Spring Ball flyer she was holding to the floor.
"Oh, don't worry," said Sirius stooping down to retrieve the flyer "Ohhh...the Spring Ball! Yeah, I remember hearing something about this!" By this point Charlotte was blushing furiously "So, been asked yet to go yet with anyone yet?" asked Sirius casually, now all Charlotte's friends were giggling madly.
"Uh...no...not yet" she mumbled giving Sirius a sweet smile.
"Not Yet?!?" cried Sirius "A pretty girl like you?" this caused Charlotte to blush even more "Well, I can't have you going alone! Why not come with me..?" A blonde friend of Charlotte's let out a snort of laughter, Sirius ignored her.
"Ooh...uh...Yeah okay, sure!!" Charlotte said smiling widely, at this Sirius bent down took her hand a gave it a little kiss, causing more blushing from Charlotte and a fresh wave of giggles from her friends.
"See, you April 17th!" called Sirius as Charlotte and her friends hurried out of the hall laughing. James turned to his toast shaking his head with a grin.
"Smooth, Sirius....Smooth" said James thickly through a mouthful of toast.
"Wow....amazing" said Peter looking at Sirius with awed amazement.
"Hmm...yeah, I think we should probably go to Muggle Studies...." said Sirius gazing around at the now deserted hall "NOW!" ________________________________________________________-
This time, Sirius was waiting for him, his mischievous past was not behind him, and he wasn't going to miss the first chance for four and a half years to spook someone out. Silently he got off the floor, from his usual position and sat on the bed humming. The Dementors didn't affect Sirius like they did the other prisoners. There was a very good reason for this; Sirius was very different from the other prisoners. He was innocent, and this was one of the only thoughts that kept him live and from not going crazy.
Sirius heard a rustling form down the hall, and brightened slightly. He leant back against the wall and waited until the Minister came to his cell. The Minister was a short balding man by the name of Cornelius Fudge. He wasn't very high in Sirius' good books, he had sent him to Azkaban without a trial. But was Sirius Black one to hold grudges? Hell yes.
"Hello Mr. Fudge. How are you today?" Sirius said as the man was passing, and chuckled as the man jumped, apparently thinking that everyone in Azkaban had lost the ability to speak.
"Mr... Mr. Black..." Fudge began, perspiration running down his chubby face.
"Oh, yay you remember me. Do you think I could borrow that paper? Don't get much news in here." Sirius said.
"Of... of course, here." He said and thrust The Daily Prophet threw the bars. Sirius stood up and took the paper from his hands, and grinned wickedly at him, before he basically ran down the hall.
"Nice to see you too!!" he yelled after him, before chuckling, and sitting on his bed. He sighed and opened the paper to the front page, and jumped up when he saw the headlines. ____________________________________________________________-
"Let's sing a song!" Padfoot yelled.
"We are so NOT singing anything!" Moony said huffily.
"Why not!?" Padfoot pouted.
"Because you have a horrid singing voice! I rather kiss a Dementor!" Moony said smartly.
"Why not just kiss me!" A loud smooching sound was heard.
"Padfoot! Get off of me!" Moony yelled.
"Seems as though Wolfie's got himself a boyfriend..." Snape snickered.
"Oh yes! I just love you Moony!" Another loud smooching sound.
"STOP IT!" Moony screamed. "Prongs! Take away this horny dog!"
Prongs chuckled. "I can't see a thing Moony, sorry..." Though he sounded far from it.
"Anyone have a wand!?" Wormtail grumbled.
"Nope, but we got a bucket full of fish guts!" Padfoot remarked happily.
"How romantic..." Moony grumbled annoyingly.
"Of course!" A loud slapping sound.
"PRONGS!!! Get him away! He just slapped my arse!"
Prongs chuckled. "Sorry, Moony..."
Moony could be heard growling angrily. _______________________________________________________-
Sirius- I hate to break your little chat but I wonder if you could shoot quills through Binns?
Remus- lets try.
(They all chuck their quills at Binns)
James- Cool it worked!
Peter- Yea and I got to go potty
Remus- I don't really care, do you Padfoot?
Sirius- Not really, Prongs?
James- Just as long as he doesn't wet himself, but it would be a good laugh.
Peter- I really got to go!!!
Remus- Just ask him you moron, what's he gonna do say no?
Peter- He could!
James- If I were you then I would just leave. It's not like he will notice or anything.
Sirius- How many more minutes are left Moony?
Remus- 30 minutes, next time look at the clock.
Sirius- 30 MINUTES??!!!! I thought it would be like 2 or something.
Peter- I still got to go!!!!
Remus- JUST LEAVE!!!!!
Sirius- IS A HALF-HOUR UP YET?
James- No Padfoot it isn't.
Peter- I just wet myself.
Remus- EWW
Sirius- I agree with Moony.
James- Wormtail we told you to leave and go to the bathroom!
Remus- Looks like Wormtail need "Goodnights".
Sirius- What are "Goodnights"?
Remus- They are like big kid diapers.
James- How would you know that?
Remus- My little brother still uses them.
Peter- Do they work?
Sirius- Wormtail you need help.
Peter- With what?
Remus- MENTAL HELP!!
Sirius- IS A HALF-HOUR UP YET?
James- 5 more minutes.
Remus- We are gonna die in here!
Peter- I have to go poop.
Remus- Can I kill him?
James- Who will prod the knot on the willow then?
Remus- True, Peter you can live.
Sirius- YES CLASS IS OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! __________________________________________________________-
Severus Snape stood by the door to the school with what appeared to be a checklist, stopping the adults that were coming in.
"*McGonagall* did that last time!" Remus hissed.
"I suppose they decided that scaring the living sh-"
"SIRIUS! This is a *school*!"
"Sorry, but I suppose that they decided that scarring everyone for life by looking at Snape before entering the school makes the year less... er... *chaotic*?"
"Perhaps. But I think it's purely for you."
"Shut up."
They continued up to the school and joined the line of adults (a very *short* line) that were slowly passing by Snape.
When Sirius appeared before him, the greasy haired Potions Master scowled.
"Hey, Snapey! How ya been?" Sirius chirped annoyingly.
Snape glared at him, "Don't call me that, Black. Now what are you doing here?"
"I'm Hoggy-warty-Hogwarts' first security guard!" Sirius said proudly, puffing out his chest. "I guard the insecure! Guard of the secureness. Security of the guard! Wait... I *am* an insecure guard-"
"Black..."
"- Guard of the security! I guard *their* security! Secure their guardedness! I-"
"BLACK! *Shut. Up.*"
"I am the guard of shutting up! I guard the shut up! Shut up that guard! Shut up *of* the guard! I-"
"Sirius..." Remus warned behind him, pointing to a fuming Snape.
"Oh." Sirius said, "Right. So, you greasy li'l git! What're you doin' this year?"
"I'm the Potions Master, Black. Just as I was last year. *And the year before that. And the year before THAT.*"
"Aww... I bet *that* pissed you off, huh?! Wanted Defense Against the Dark Arts, didn't ya?! Well, HA, HA!"
"JUST GO!" Snape screeched.
"Righto." Sirius said, mock saluting him.
"NEXT." Snape snarled, while muttering, "Stupid Black. Thinks he gets to me with his infernal Dark Arts shots! Psh. Who *is* teaching that this year, anyway? Why, if they were here right now, I'd..." He made a violent gesture with his fist as Remus walked up. _______________________________________________________-
"So, who's up for a game of Duck, Duck, Goose?" Padfoot asked eagerly.
Snape growled, "No, besides if we did. We couldn't see the game. It would turn into a violent Duck, Duck, Goose..."
"Well, we gotta do something! I mean, after you're malfunctioning wand!" Wormtail murmured.
"My wand is fine! This isn't even my wan-... Hey! It feels exactly the same as that twig! DAMNIT!" Snape bellowed.
"Duck... Duck... Duck..." Padfoot started.
"No." Prongs said firmly.
"WHAT!? Even you don't wanna play!?" Padfoot whined.
"I'll play!" Wormtail insisted.
"But it's not fun with only two people!" Padfoot whined again.
"Shut your trap..." Moony growled.
"Marco Polo!" Peter suggested happily.
"God... No! We are so not playing Violent Marco Polo!" Moony grumbled.
"Marco!" Padfoot yelled.
"POLO!" Wormtail yelled.
A loud crash was heard. "MY LEG! I THINK I BROKE MY LEG!" Padfoot started screaming.
Prongs was heard slapping his forehead, "Great Wizards... No."
"YOU ARE ALL IDIOTS!" Snape bellowed.
"I said that already!" Moony argued.
"So!? I'm saying it again!" Snape growled.
"JINGLE BELLS!"
"You've broken your leg but still have time enough to sing Jingle Bells!?" Moony screamed.
"JINGLE ALL THE WAY!" Wormtail joined in.
"It keeps the pain away!" Padfoot explained easily.
"God..." Moony mumbled.
"Damn twig..." Snape sighed, "I suppose I shall befriend you... Everyone else is annoying as hell... I shall bid you Eddie the Elf!" Snape said happily.
If the lights were on, everyone would see the look of sheer terror on Moony's face.
"So, Eddie the Elf. How are you this evening?" Snape asked.
"JINGLE BELLS! JINGLE BELLS!" Padfoot and Wormtail sung happily.
"Moony...?" Prongs asked uncertainly.
"Yeah, Prongs?"
"Erm... I'm afraid."
"Me too, Prongs... Me too." _________________________________________________________-
The class was in an uproar. By now everyone had heard about Snape's ax- wielding, 'All kill Lupin!' trip and it was all anyone could talk about. (Besides the insanity of the newly appointed Professor Lupin and Mr. Black of course.)
Remus walked in, a huge smile plastered on his face. "Good morning, class!" he chirped.
Everyone went silent immediately. Not only had this class (as Sixth Year Gryffindors) met Lupin three years ago (and he had instantly become their favorite teacher) but, as we said, they had all heard about Snape's murderous rage toward the poor guy. (Anrion: *whispering* Not to mention... they know he's a werewolf! Just thought you should know! Now, on with the story!)
"HI REMUS!" three voices shouted at once.
Remus cleared his throat and coughed, "That's *Professor* to you. Now-"
Harry raised his hand.
"*What* Harry? Honestly, I've been here for thirty seconds! You couldn't possibly have started not paying attention *yet*!"
Harry put down his hand, "Can we call you Professor Moony?"
Remus sighed, "No."
"Professor Remus?" Hermione Granger added.
"No."
"Professor Remmy?" Ron Weasley asked hopefully.
"No."
"Professor Remskie?" Harry asked again.
"I'll *kill* Sirius for telling you about that...."
"The guy who teaches us Defense Against the Dark Arts?" Dean Thomas added helpfully.
"Yes. But not when you're addressing me." Remus smiled, "Now. To start off, we will be learning about-"
"Werewolves!"
"Grims!"
"SNAPE!"
Everyone burst out laughing. Remus chuckled.
"Although, I, myself should take some defense lessons against Professor Snape, we-"
There was a knock on the door.
"Come in." Remus said pleasantly. And a minute later, Sirius's head popped through the door.
"HI SIRIUS!"
Sirius nodded to Harry, Ron and Hermione and walked over to Remus, who cocked an eyebrow.
"What... is *that*?" he asked, pointing to Sirius's clothes. (Sirius is wearing a mall cop outfit -hat included-)
"Oh, this? Just my uniform. See? I got a badge!"
"Right... Now what is it?"
"Uh, do you think I could hang out in here for a while?"
An outburst of 'Yes!' went up at this.
Remus waved his hand for silence. "Do you really think I'm going to let *you* stay in here with all of the, er, shall we say, *potential* items I have in the back?"
"Well, you see, Remmy, I-"
He was cut off by a sudden high-pitched scream, accompanied by an explosion.
Remus narrowed his eyes, glaring at Sirius suspiciously. "What did you *do*?!"
Sirius cringed, "Uh... you see, I kind of *misplaced* a dung bomb next to Filch's office, and, uh... well, you know."
"Sirius..."
"LUPIN!"
Remus shuddered.
"And, that would be the little git now! Have fun Remskie." Sirius said, patting Remus on the back.
"I am going to *kill* you... as soon as I get back." Remus hissed as he walked out the door, "Yes, Argus?"
Sirius turned to the class, grinning, "Alright. Lesson one: Dung bombs are your friend. Lesson two: Toilets put together with dung bombs are even friendlier."
"Sirius." Remus said, sticking his head through the door, "Dumbledore wants us."
"Okay, Remmy!" Sirius waited until Remus disappeared again before turning back to the class, "Lesson three: Always listen to the little leprechaun that tells you to burn things. Lesson four: Slytherins and permanent hot pink hair dye get along very well. Lesson five-"
"SIRIUS!"
"Coming! Well! Why aren't you all copying that down?!" Sirius screeched in his best Snape imitation before running out of the classroom after Remus. __________________________________________________________-
"We should play cards." James said, breaking the lull in conversation.
"Cards?" Sirius and Remus asked in unison.
"Yes. A friendly, innocent game of cards." James said firmly. "No magic. Just the muggle version."
Sirius' eyes lit up. "Strip poker!"
Lily laughed. "He said an innocent game of cards."
"Yeah, but he also said friendly. And I would be real friendly towards you if you were in your panties." Sirius grinned, and James punched him in the shoulder.
"Sirius! Flirting with James girlfriend? That's a no-no." Remus said in a mocking tone.
"Oh, don't be too hard on him. He had an obsession with underwear." Peter said slyly.
Lily laughed again and shook her head. "No poker. I don't know how to play. And besides, do we even have a deck of cards?"
Once again, the room went silent.
"I'll take that as a 'no'."
"James should have one."
"Why should I have one? I just suggest the games, I don't supply 'em."
"I know! How about strip chess?"
"Shut up, Sirius!"
"Oh, come on James. You know you wanna see Lily naked."
"Why is everyone assuming I'd loose? You all could end up naked!"
"Yeah, right."
The constant chatter died down after a minute, and Lily cleared her throat. "Well," She said briskly, "I'd say that that 'innocent game of cards' idea is pretty much dead."
"Dead and six feet under." James muttered.
"We should get to bed. It's getting late." Remus observed.
"That, and we have a test in Charms tomorrow."
"Charms. Ick."
"I'm locking my clothes chest tonight, so if anyone needs to steal someone's underwear, take James'."
And so, the five Griffindors marched up to their rooms, with Sirius muttering, "Well, I still think that we should play strip something." _____________________________________________________________-
After a few tries, Sirius finally got through. "Hello, this is Miss Cleo. Let me deal the tarot cards for your free readin'." Miss Cleo said. "'K." Sirius replied, tapping his fingers on his lap. After a few minutes, Sirius yelled "Could you hurry the hell up?" "Ah, the cards show you're an impatient one." Miss Cleo 'revealed.' "No shit, sherlock." Sirius sighed. "Hey, Christina, turn the TV down." Sirius said. "Ah, you have a woman in your life. Her name is. Christie? Christine? Ah, yes, Christina!" "James, did I not just say that?" Sirius laughed, turning to James. "Ah, the cards also show you have a friend named James." Miss Cleo went on. "Actually, he's my gay boyfriend." Sirius said in a serious tone. "James, his lover!" Emily shouted in the background. "Shut up, Emily!" James laughed. "Ah, the cards show another friend named Emily." Miss Cleo said. "No, actually
She's my enemy and I hate her. SHE'S MY EX-GIRLFRIEND AND ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS, AND I'M STAYING WITH HER! SHE'S AMAZING, GUYS!" Sirius shouted. "Breathe, Sirius, breathe." Remus advised. "I don't need the breath therapy, Remus." Sirius sighed again. "Ah, you have another friend named Remus. He is the calmer of your group." Miss Cleo said. "Must I go through this senseless torture yet again? You are merely repeating what I say." Sirius complained. Silence on the other end. "Look. It's my friend Lily." Sirius said in a monotone. "Ah, you have a friend named Lily." Miss Cleo said. "You know what? Never mind. I'll just... hold on." Sirius hung up the phone, and, without a word, Disapparated. A second later, on the TV screen, they saw their friend push Miss Cleo out of her seat. There was a minute of rustling about, then Sirius appeared back on the screen. He was wearing Miss Cleo's hat and her fake costume jewelry. "Call Mr. Padfoot for your free readin'." Sirius said in Miss Cleo's accent, and waved. ____________________________________________________________-
Sirius laughed and slapped him on the back in a congratulatory manner, which didn't serve to alleviate James' choking at all. Between choking and laughing, it took James a few moments to recover. Finally when he could breath again, James turned sheepishly to his companion and asked, "Um...you weren't actually serious about moving in, were you?"
Arching a sardonic eyebrow, the raven-haired man turned to James and dryly replied, "I'm always Sirius."
James shook his head and snorted, hardly believing he'd walked into that old pun for probably the 3,435,230 time. He suddenly couldn't wait until his own son was old enough to initiate it to; hopefully he would be able to get a few years out of the joke before his son would have him permanently committed. However, James was now in quite a good mood, and he couldn't help but resist the temptation to run the gamut with the pun. "It's a good thing we had our talk," he began sincerely. "I guess we had a Sirius misunderstanding." Sirius chuckled once wryly.
"I mean...if we'd have stayed angry at one another, we could've been making a Sirius mistake," he said.
"Yes, that's quite true, James," Sirius remarked with an edge of annoyance beginning to creep into his tone. James ignored it. "But Sirius-ly--"
"Potter..." he threatened warningly. "I cut my finger the other day," James said holding a completely mark-free finger out for his friend to see. "Do you think it's Sirius?"
Calculating precisely the space between them--which wasn't much--Sirius suddenly turned on James and attempted to pounce on him, but years of Quidditch playing had conditioned James to anticipate such moves and he swiftly rocketed from his chair to easily avoid the attack, giggling so hard he had to hold his sides together. Even Sirius had to fight to smother his own amusement, inwardly delighted and relieved that his best friend's former self was back at full tilt. Meanwhile, he eyed James like a particularly hungry wolf stalking his prey.
"Now, Si," James placated, still giggling, albeit a tad nervously. He could already see the familiar animalistic glint in his friend's eye and though he and Sirius and Peter had each made a secret pact after leaving Hogwarts to resist shifting into their Animagus forms, he knew the ability hadn't been forgotten. "You wouldn't hurt me, would you? Your oldest friend?" Clearing his throat, he straightened and set his hands on his hips. "Alright now. Enough playing..." James reprimanded in a very fatherly manner. Then he choked back a snicker. "I'm dead Sirius..."
"JAMES!!!" _________________________________________________________-
"Ok, Emily, I have a question." James asked Emily. "What?" She replied. "How are we all going to get to the mall to go Christmas shopping?" He questioned. "Er, how about a bus?" Emily suggested. "Oh." James nodded. "And here's a note, Chaser-Boy." Lily said, walking in the living room where James and Emily were talking. "Yeah?" "I recommend you to change. I don't think Muggles will take well to your pink halter top and black leather pants." She said, laughing. "What the." James looked down, and saw the previously mentioned clothes. "SIRIUS!"
So after everyone got ready, and James got Lily to transfigure his clothes back, they walked to the nearest bus stop. "What exactly does this bus do?" Sirius wondered out loud, raising one eyebrow at Emily. "It's like a big car that can seat a lot of people." Emily explained, shaking her head. All of a sudden, they heard the sound of screeching breaks and Remus yelling "DEAR GOD! WHAT IS THAT?" "I'm guessing it's a bus." Christina said, and pushed him into it.
Once inside, Remus was shaking uncontrollably. "Remus, are you going to be ok?" Emily asked him. "No think about big car. Focus on presents." He replied mindlessly. Emily sighed and rolled her eyes to Christina, who nodded.
Then Sirius, who was sitting across from Emily, began singing very softly "The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round. The wheels on the bus go round and round all through the town." The girls let out a collective sigh; they had done this on a ride to Hogwarts before. "The driver of the bus says shut the hell up, shut the hell up, shut the hell up. The driver of the bus says shut the hell up all through the town." James joined in with Sirius, and they go louder.
Near the 10th verse, Remus let go of his fear and sang with James and Sirius and Peter, who had came in on the sixth verse. By the 20th verse, they were shouting lyrics, and the girls took their jobs as their cheerleaders. "Everybody now!" They shouted, walking back and forth through the bus. By now they had approached the 50th verse, singing "The bird doo on the window is black and white, black and white, black and white. The bird doo on the window is black and white all through the town." The would have said another word that they preferred, but Lily had told them to keep it G-rated.
"Shut you stupid mouths!" An old man yelled, shaking his fist. The men looked at each other, nodded, and sang "The old fart's fist shakes up and down, up and down, up and down. The old fart's fist shakes up and down all through the town."
During the rest of the ride, the made insulting verses to whoever dare insult them, while Lily, Christina, and Emily had stopped cheering them one and went to the back of the bus and were talking quietly. But when they were looming toward the parking lot, the bus driver stopped the bus and threw them off. When they hit the ground, the girls stepped gracefully off the bus. They were lead by Emily in singing to the driver "We're already there. Take a look around. We're in the parking lot." The guys interrupted them with "We love Dippin' Dots." After that the driver slammed the door shut and sped away. "That was productive." Sirius said, and with that they entered the mall. _______________________________________________________-
"Owww...." Sirius moaned as he rubbed his aching side. "Damn it woman, that hurt." "What did you call me?" Lily asked, her eyes flashing dangerously. "Absolutely nothing." He said quickly. "I heard him, he called you 'woman'." Remus said. Sirius didn't get elbowed this time, she bopped him in the head instead. "Thanks a lot Moony. Whose side are you on anyway?" Sirius asked. "Lily's of course." "You're all against me." Sirius complained. The Marauder Singing Contest (The Rematch!) Ariana Black "So, what did you think?" Sirius asked innocently as they sat down. Lily reached over, grabbed his ear, and stood up, forcing him to as well. "I think we had better go outside, as I don't think the rest of the school wants to see me torture you." She replied, leading him by the ear towards the back of the Hall. "Mommy." Sirius said as he was dragged along.
"Lily and Sirius don't seem to be back yet. Should we be worried?" Remus asked. "They aren't?" James asked, looking around. "Wait, there they are, getting ready to go onstage." Peter said, pointing across the Hall. His jaw suddenly dropped, causing Remus and James to look over for the cause. "Oh my God..." Remus said, barely suppressing a laugh. "What is he wearing?" James asked, failing to suppress a laugh (hey, not everyone has Remus' self control). "Poor, poor Padfoot." Peter laughing almost as hard as James (yeah right, like he has self control. You gotta be kidding me if you thought). Across the Hall, Sirius could hear them laughing. He looked pleadingly at Lily not to make him go onstage with her. "Sorry Sirius." she replied. "You should have known I'd get you back." "But this is cruel and unusual punishment." He pleaded. "Unusually Unusual punishment?" she asked innocently. She grabbed his arm and pulled him up towards the stage. "Its either this or I beat the Hell out of you, and you know I will." "I think the beating would be less painful." He murmured.
As soon as Sirius and Lily stepped onto the stage, the Marauders weren't the only ones laughing. They weren't doing it to be mean or anything (well, the Slytherins were, but that's just them), it was just the sight of what Sirius was wearing (drum roll please). Lily had forced him to wear a neon pink mini-skirt with black tights (come on girls, we all know we want to see him in tights!) and a bright blue, V-neck blouse. She'd even pulled his hair back in a red scrunchie with white heart on it. Lily was wearing an identical outfit, though it looked much funnier on Sirius. A few wolf whistles rang out from the audience, but no one was quite sure whether they were meant for Lily or Sirius. Sirius was blushing almost as brightly as the lipstick Lily had put on him, silently vowing never to do anything to upset Lily again, in case she thought of something worse to do to him next time. Though, what could be worse than public humiliation, he didn't know.
"P-poor Padfoot." James laughed. He knew he should feel sorry for his friend, but seeing him in that outfit made him want to laugh more than pity him. Finally, the audience managed to calm down. Until Dumbledore announced what song they were going to sing.
"Ahem. Well, as you can see, Lily Evans and Sirius Black will be singing next." Dumbledore said, trying hard not to show his own amusement. "They will be singing Girls Just Want To Have Fun."
Instantly, the school broke into laughter again. Sirius had his face buried in his hands, as if he thought that if he couldn't see the rest of the school, they couldn't see him. Or perhaps he was trying to pretend it was all a nightmare, right up there with showing up for class naked, or taking a test you haven't studied for. Lily nudged him in the ribs, forcing him back to reality, and they began to sing. ________________________________________________________-
Messers Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs! By Nicola2
You Saved Me By LadyLilyPotter
Stuck in Idiotville by Lady Stone
Moony Wormtail Padfoot and Prongs' notes By George is hot-Mrs. Moony
Padfoot and Moony Return to HoggywartyHogwarts! By Anrion
A Friendly, Innocent Game Of....Um...Cards? By Joltz
Sirius Calls Miss Cleo and Other Adventures By Insane Jewish Werewolf
Get Sirius By EntreNous
The Marauders singing contest By ____________________________________________________________-
A/N: Please review! Pretty pretty please? With sugar on top? Please, reviews are my life source! Well aside from sugar, chocolate and caffine.
Sirius: Just review so she'll shut up.
Author: I'll send you pixie stix!
Disclaimer: Yes! I own Harry Potter, and I am writing stupid, Non-profit, meaningless stories on an obscure website. Come on people! Use your brains! ___________________________________________________________-
Sirius stood up, and letting his dark hair fall elegantly over his handsome face he said "Okay, James see you later...In transfiguration right?" James and Peter looked blankly at him, but a second later his plan became all to clear. Sirius turned on his heal and gently bumped into Charlotte Brown, knocking the Spring Ball flyer she was holding to the floor.
"Oh, don't worry," said Sirius stooping down to retrieve the flyer "Ohhh...the Spring Ball! Yeah, I remember hearing something about this!" By this point Charlotte was blushing furiously "So, been asked yet to go yet with anyone yet?" asked Sirius casually, now all Charlotte's friends were giggling madly.
"Uh...no...not yet" she mumbled giving Sirius a sweet smile.
"Not Yet?!?" cried Sirius "A pretty girl like you?" this caused Charlotte to blush even more "Well, I can't have you going alone! Why not come with me..?" A blonde friend of Charlotte's let out a snort of laughter, Sirius ignored her.
"Ooh...uh...Yeah okay, sure!!" Charlotte said smiling widely, at this Sirius bent down took her hand a gave it a little kiss, causing more blushing from Charlotte and a fresh wave of giggles from her friends.
"See, you April 17th!" called Sirius as Charlotte and her friends hurried out of the hall laughing. James turned to his toast shaking his head with a grin.
"Smooth, Sirius....Smooth" said James thickly through a mouthful of toast.
"Wow....amazing" said Peter looking at Sirius with awed amazement.
"Hmm...yeah, I think we should probably go to Muggle Studies...." said Sirius gazing around at the now deserted hall "NOW!" ________________________________________________________-
This time, Sirius was waiting for him, his mischievous past was not behind him, and he wasn't going to miss the first chance for four and a half years to spook someone out. Silently he got off the floor, from his usual position and sat on the bed humming. The Dementors didn't affect Sirius like they did the other prisoners. There was a very good reason for this; Sirius was very different from the other prisoners. He was innocent, and this was one of the only thoughts that kept him live and from not going crazy.
Sirius heard a rustling form down the hall, and brightened slightly. He leant back against the wall and waited until the Minister came to his cell. The Minister was a short balding man by the name of Cornelius Fudge. He wasn't very high in Sirius' good books, he had sent him to Azkaban without a trial. But was Sirius Black one to hold grudges? Hell yes.
"Hello Mr. Fudge. How are you today?" Sirius said as the man was passing, and chuckled as the man jumped, apparently thinking that everyone in Azkaban had lost the ability to speak.
"Mr... Mr. Black..." Fudge began, perspiration running down his chubby face.
"Oh, yay you remember me. Do you think I could borrow that paper? Don't get much news in here." Sirius said.
"Of... of course, here." He said and thrust The Daily Prophet threw the bars. Sirius stood up and took the paper from his hands, and grinned wickedly at him, before he basically ran down the hall.
"Nice to see you too!!" he yelled after him, before chuckling, and sitting on his bed. He sighed and opened the paper to the front page, and jumped up when he saw the headlines. ____________________________________________________________-
"Let's sing a song!" Padfoot yelled.
"We are so NOT singing anything!" Moony said huffily.
"Why not!?" Padfoot pouted.
"Because you have a horrid singing voice! I rather kiss a Dementor!" Moony said smartly.
"Why not just kiss me!" A loud smooching sound was heard.
"Padfoot! Get off of me!" Moony yelled.
"Seems as though Wolfie's got himself a boyfriend..." Snape snickered.
"Oh yes! I just love you Moony!" Another loud smooching sound.
"STOP IT!" Moony screamed. "Prongs! Take away this horny dog!"
Prongs chuckled. "I can't see a thing Moony, sorry..." Though he sounded far from it.
"Anyone have a wand!?" Wormtail grumbled.
"Nope, but we got a bucket full of fish guts!" Padfoot remarked happily.
"How romantic..." Moony grumbled annoyingly.
"Of course!" A loud slapping sound.
"PRONGS!!! Get him away! He just slapped my arse!"
Prongs chuckled. "Sorry, Moony..."
Moony could be heard growling angrily. _______________________________________________________-
Sirius- I hate to break your little chat but I wonder if you could shoot quills through Binns?
Remus- lets try.
(They all chuck their quills at Binns)
James- Cool it worked!
Peter- Yea and I got to go potty
Remus- I don't really care, do you Padfoot?
Sirius- Not really, Prongs?
James- Just as long as he doesn't wet himself, but it would be a good laugh.
Peter- I really got to go!!!
Remus- Just ask him you moron, what's he gonna do say no?
Peter- He could!
James- If I were you then I would just leave. It's not like he will notice or anything.
Sirius- How many more minutes are left Moony?
Remus- 30 minutes, next time look at the clock.
Sirius- 30 MINUTES??!!!! I thought it would be like 2 or something.
Peter- I still got to go!!!!
Remus- JUST LEAVE!!!!!
Sirius- IS A HALF-HOUR UP YET?
James- No Padfoot it isn't.
Peter- I just wet myself.
Remus- EWW
Sirius- I agree with Moony.
James- Wormtail we told you to leave and go to the bathroom!
Remus- Looks like Wormtail need "Goodnights".
Sirius- What are "Goodnights"?
Remus- They are like big kid diapers.
James- How would you know that?
Remus- My little brother still uses them.
Peter- Do they work?
Sirius- Wormtail you need help.
Peter- With what?
Remus- MENTAL HELP!!
Sirius- IS A HALF-HOUR UP YET?
James- 5 more minutes.
Remus- We are gonna die in here!
Peter- I have to go poop.
Remus- Can I kill him?
James- Who will prod the knot on the willow then?
Remus- True, Peter you can live.
Sirius- YES CLASS IS OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! __________________________________________________________-
Severus Snape stood by the door to the school with what appeared to be a checklist, stopping the adults that were coming in.
"*McGonagall* did that last time!" Remus hissed.
"I suppose they decided that scaring the living sh-"
"SIRIUS! This is a *school*!"
"Sorry, but I suppose that they decided that scarring everyone for life by looking at Snape before entering the school makes the year less... er... *chaotic*?"
"Perhaps. But I think it's purely for you."
"Shut up."
They continued up to the school and joined the line of adults (a very *short* line) that were slowly passing by Snape.
When Sirius appeared before him, the greasy haired Potions Master scowled.
"Hey, Snapey! How ya been?" Sirius chirped annoyingly.
Snape glared at him, "Don't call me that, Black. Now what are you doing here?"
"I'm Hoggy-warty-Hogwarts' first security guard!" Sirius said proudly, puffing out his chest. "I guard the insecure! Guard of the secureness. Security of the guard! Wait... I *am* an insecure guard-"
"Black..."
"- Guard of the security! I guard *their* security! Secure their guardedness! I-"
"BLACK! *Shut. Up.*"
"I am the guard of shutting up! I guard the shut up! Shut up that guard! Shut up *of* the guard! I-"
"Sirius..." Remus warned behind him, pointing to a fuming Snape.
"Oh." Sirius said, "Right. So, you greasy li'l git! What're you doin' this year?"
"I'm the Potions Master, Black. Just as I was last year. *And the year before that. And the year before THAT.*"
"Aww... I bet *that* pissed you off, huh?! Wanted Defense Against the Dark Arts, didn't ya?! Well, HA, HA!"
"JUST GO!" Snape screeched.
"Righto." Sirius said, mock saluting him.
"NEXT." Snape snarled, while muttering, "Stupid Black. Thinks he gets to me with his infernal Dark Arts shots! Psh. Who *is* teaching that this year, anyway? Why, if they were here right now, I'd..." He made a violent gesture with his fist as Remus walked up. _______________________________________________________-
"So, who's up for a game of Duck, Duck, Goose?" Padfoot asked eagerly.
Snape growled, "No, besides if we did. We couldn't see the game. It would turn into a violent Duck, Duck, Goose..."
"Well, we gotta do something! I mean, after you're malfunctioning wand!" Wormtail murmured.
"My wand is fine! This isn't even my wan-... Hey! It feels exactly the same as that twig! DAMNIT!" Snape bellowed.
"Duck... Duck... Duck..." Padfoot started.
"No." Prongs said firmly.
"WHAT!? Even you don't wanna play!?" Padfoot whined.
"I'll play!" Wormtail insisted.
"But it's not fun with only two people!" Padfoot whined again.
"Shut your trap..." Moony growled.
"Marco Polo!" Peter suggested happily.
"God... No! We are so not playing Violent Marco Polo!" Moony grumbled.
"Marco!" Padfoot yelled.
"POLO!" Wormtail yelled.
A loud crash was heard. "MY LEG! I THINK I BROKE MY LEG!" Padfoot started screaming.
Prongs was heard slapping his forehead, "Great Wizards... No."
"YOU ARE ALL IDIOTS!" Snape bellowed.
"I said that already!" Moony argued.
"So!? I'm saying it again!" Snape growled.
"JINGLE BELLS!"
"You've broken your leg but still have time enough to sing Jingle Bells!?" Moony screamed.
"JINGLE ALL THE WAY!" Wormtail joined in.
"It keeps the pain away!" Padfoot explained easily.
"God..." Moony mumbled.
"Damn twig..." Snape sighed, "I suppose I shall befriend you... Everyone else is annoying as hell... I shall bid you Eddie the Elf!" Snape said happily.
If the lights were on, everyone would see the look of sheer terror on Moony's face.
"So, Eddie the Elf. How are you this evening?" Snape asked.
"JINGLE BELLS! JINGLE BELLS!" Padfoot and Wormtail sung happily.
"Moony...?" Prongs asked uncertainly.
"Yeah, Prongs?"
"Erm... I'm afraid."
"Me too, Prongs... Me too." _________________________________________________________-
The class was in an uproar. By now everyone had heard about Snape's ax- wielding, 'All kill Lupin!' trip and it was all anyone could talk about. (Besides the insanity of the newly appointed Professor Lupin and Mr. Black of course.)
Remus walked in, a huge smile plastered on his face. "Good morning, class!" he chirped.
Everyone went silent immediately. Not only had this class (as Sixth Year Gryffindors) met Lupin three years ago (and he had instantly become their favorite teacher) but, as we said, they had all heard about Snape's murderous rage toward the poor guy. (Anrion: *whispering* Not to mention... they know he's a werewolf! Just thought you should know! Now, on with the story!)
"HI REMUS!" three voices shouted at once.
Remus cleared his throat and coughed, "That's *Professor* to you. Now-"
Harry raised his hand.
"*What* Harry? Honestly, I've been here for thirty seconds! You couldn't possibly have started not paying attention *yet*!"
Harry put down his hand, "Can we call you Professor Moony?"
Remus sighed, "No."
"Professor Remus?" Hermione Granger added.
"No."
"Professor Remmy?" Ron Weasley asked hopefully.
"No."
"Professor Remskie?" Harry asked again.
"I'll *kill* Sirius for telling you about that...."
"The guy who teaches us Defense Against the Dark Arts?" Dean Thomas added helpfully.
"Yes. But not when you're addressing me." Remus smiled, "Now. To start off, we will be learning about-"
"Werewolves!"
"Grims!"
"SNAPE!"
Everyone burst out laughing. Remus chuckled.
"Although, I, myself should take some defense lessons against Professor Snape, we-"
There was a knock on the door.
"Come in." Remus said pleasantly. And a minute later, Sirius's head popped through the door.
"HI SIRIUS!"
Sirius nodded to Harry, Ron and Hermione and walked over to Remus, who cocked an eyebrow.
"What... is *that*?" he asked, pointing to Sirius's clothes. (Sirius is wearing a mall cop outfit -hat included-)
"Oh, this? Just my uniform. See? I got a badge!"
"Right... Now what is it?"
"Uh, do you think I could hang out in here for a while?"
An outburst of 'Yes!' went up at this.
Remus waved his hand for silence. "Do you really think I'm going to let *you* stay in here with all of the, er, shall we say, *potential* items I have in the back?"
"Well, you see, Remmy, I-"
He was cut off by a sudden high-pitched scream, accompanied by an explosion.
Remus narrowed his eyes, glaring at Sirius suspiciously. "What did you *do*?!"
Sirius cringed, "Uh... you see, I kind of *misplaced* a dung bomb next to Filch's office, and, uh... well, you know."
"Sirius..."
"LUPIN!"
Remus shuddered.
"And, that would be the little git now! Have fun Remskie." Sirius said, patting Remus on the back.
"I am going to *kill* you... as soon as I get back." Remus hissed as he walked out the door, "Yes, Argus?"
Sirius turned to the class, grinning, "Alright. Lesson one: Dung bombs are your friend. Lesson two: Toilets put together with dung bombs are even friendlier."
"Sirius." Remus said, sticking his head through the door, "Dumbledore wants us."
"Okay, Remmy!" Sirius waited until Remus disappeared again before turning back to the class, "Lesson three: Always listen to the little leprechaun that tells you to burn things. Lesson four: Slytherins and permanent hot pink hair dye get along very well. Lesson five-"
"SIRIUS!"
"Coming! Well! Why aren't you all copying that down?!" Sirius screeched in his best Snape imitation before running out of the classroom after Remus. __________________________________________________________-
"We should play cards." James said, breaking the lull in conversation.
"Cards?" Sirius and Remus asked in unison.
"Yes. A friendly, innocent game of cards." James said firmly. "No magic. Just the muggle version."
Sirius' eyes lit up. "Strip poker!"
Lily laughed. "He said an innocent game of cards."
"Yeah, but he also said friendly. And I would be real friendly towards you if you were in your panties." Sirius grinned, and James punched him in the shoulder.
"Sirius! Flirting with James girlfriend? That's a no-no." Remus said in a mocking tone.
"Oh, don't be too hard on him. He had an obsession with underwear." Peter said slyly.
Lily laughed again and shook her head. "No poker. I don't know how to play. And besides, do we even have a deck of cards?"
Once again, the room went silent.
"I'll take that as a 'no'."
"James should have one."
"Why should I have one? I just suggest the games, I don't supply 'em."
"I know! How about strip chess?"
"Shut up, Sirius!"
"Oh, come on James. You know you wanna see Lily naked."
"Why is everyone assuming I'd loose? You all could end up naked!"
"Yeah, right."
The constant chatter died down after a minute, and Lily cleared her throat. "Well," She said briskly, "I'd say that that 'innocent game of cards' idea is pretty much dead."
"Dead and six feet under." James muttered.
"We should get to bed. It's getting late." Remus observed.
"That, and we have a test in Charms tomorrow."
"Charms. Ick."
"I'm locking my clothes chest tonight, so if anyone needs to steal someone's underwear, take James'."
And so, the five Griffindors marched up to their rooms, with Sirius muttering, "Well, I still think that we should play strip something." _____________________________________________________________-
After a few tries, Sirius finally got through. "Hello, this is Miss Cleo. Let me deal the tarot cards for your free readin'." Miss Cleo said. "'K." Sirius replied, tapping his fingers on his lap. After a few minutes, Sirius yelled "Could you hurry the hell up?" "Ah, the cards show you're an impatient one." Miss Cleo 'revealed.' "No shit, sherlock." Sirius sighed. "Hey, Christina, turn the TV down." Sirius said. "Ah, you have a woman in your life. Her name is. Christie? Christine? Ah, yes, Christina!" "James, did I not just say that?" Sirius laughed, turning to James. "Ah, the cards also show you have a friend named James." Miss Cleo went on. "Actually, he's my gay boyfriend." Sirius said in a serious tone. "James, his lover!" Emily shouted in the background. "Shut up, Emily!" James laughed. "Ah, the cards show another friend named Emily." Miss Cleo said. "No, actually
She's my enemy and I hate her. SHE'S MY EX-GIRLFRIEND AND ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS, AND I'M STAYING WITH HER! SHE'S AMAZING, GUYS!" Sirius shouted. "Breathe, Sirius, breathe." Remus advised. "I don't need the breath therapy, Remus." Sirius sighed again. "Ah, you have another friend named Remus. He is the calmer of your group." Miss Cleo said. "Must I go through this senseless torture yet again? You are merely repeating what I say." Sirius complained. Silence on the other end. "Look. It's my friend Lily." Sirius said in a monotone. "Ah, you have a friend named Lily." Miss Cleo said. "You know what? Never mind. I'll just... hold on." Sirius hung up the phone, and, without a word, Disapparated. A second later, on the TV screen, they saw their friend push Miss Cleo out of her seat. There was a minute of rustling about, then Sirius appeared back on the screen. He was wearing Miss Cleo's hat and her fake costume jewelry. "Call Mr. Padfoot for your free readin'." Sirius said in Miss Cleo's accent, and waved. ____________________________________________________________-
Sirius laughed and slapped him on the back in a congratulatory manner, which didn't serve to alleviate James' choking at all. Between choking and laughing, it took James a few moments to recover. Finally when he could breath again, James turned sheepishly to his companion and asked, "Um...you weren't actually serious about moving in, were you?"
Arching a sardonic eyebrow, the raven-haired man turned to James and dryly replied, "I'm always Sirius."
James shook his head and snorted, hardly believing he'd walked into that old pun for probably the 3,435,230 time. He suddenly couldn't wait until his own son was old enough to initiate it to; hopefully he would be able to get a few years out of the joke before his son would have him permanently committed. However, James was now in quite a good mood, and he couldn't help but resist the temptation to run the gamut with the pun. "It's a good thing we had our talk," he began sincerely. "I guess we had a Sirius misunderstanding." Sirius chuckled once wryly.
"I mean...if we'd have stayed angry at one another, we could've been making a Sirius mistake," he said.
"Yes, that's quite true, James," Sirius remarked with an edge of annoyance beginning to creep into his tone. James ignored it. "But Sirius-ly--"
"Potter..." he threatened warningly. "I cut my finger the other day," James said holding a completely mark-free finger out for his friend to see. "Do you think it's Sirius?"
Calculating precisely the space between them--which wasn't much--Sirius suddenly turned on James and attempted to pounce on him, but years of Quidditch playing had conditioned James to anticipate such moves and he swiftly rocketed from his chair to easily avoid the attack, giggling so hard he had to hold his sides together. Even Sirius had to fight to smother his own amusement, inwardly delighted and relieved that his best friend's former self was back at full tilt. Meanwhile, he eyed James like a particularly hungry wolf stalking his prey.
"Now, Si," James placated, still giggling, albeit a tad nervously. He could already see the familiar animalistic glint in his friend's eye and though he and Sirius and Peter had each made a secret pact after leaving Hogwarts to resist shifting into their Animagus forms, he knew the ability hadn't been forgotten. "You wouldn't hurt me, would you? Your oldest friend?" Clearing his throat, he straightened and set his hands on his hips. "Alright now. Enough playing..." James reprimanded in a very fatherly manner. Then he choked back a snicker. "I'm dead Sirius..."
"JAMES!!!" _________________________________________________________-
"Ok, Emily, I have a question." James asked Emily. "What?" She replied. "How are we all going to get to the mall to go Christmas shopping?" He questioned. "Er, how about a bus?" Emily suggested. "Oh." James nodded. "And here's a note, Chaser-Boy." Lily said, walking in the living room where James and Emily were talking. "Yeah?" "I recommend you to change. I don't think Muggles will take well to your pink halter top and black leather pants." She said, laughing. "What the." James looked down, and saw the previously mentioned clothes. "SIRIUS!"
So after everyone got ready, and James got Lily to transfigure his clothes back, they walked to the nearest bus stop. "What exactly does this bus do?" Sirius wondered out loud, raising one eyebrow at Emily. "It's like a big car that can seat a lot of people." Emily explained, shaking her head. All of a sudden, they heard the sound of screeching breaks and Remus yelling "DEAR GOD! WHAT IS THAT?" "I'm guessing it's a bus." Christina said, and pushed him into it.
Once inside, Remus was shaking uncontrollably. "Remus, are you going to be ok?" Emily asked him. "No think about big car. Focus on presents." He replied mindlessly. Emily sighed and rolled her eyes to Christina, who nodded.
Then Sirius, who was sitting across from Emily, began singing very softly "The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round. The wheels on the bus go round and round all through the town." The girls let out a collective sigh; they had done this on a ride to Hogwarts before. "The driver of the bus says shut the hell up, shut the hell up, shut the hell up. The driver of the bus says shut the hell up all through the town." James joined in with Sirius, and they go louder.
Near the 10th verse, Remus let go of his fear and sang with James and Sirius and Peter, who had came in on the sixth verse. By the 20th verse, they were shouting lyrics, and the girls took their jobs as their cheerleaders. "Everybody now!" They shouted, walking back and forth through the bus. By now they had approached the 50th verse, singing "The bird doo on the window is black and white, black and white, black and white. The bird doo on the window is black and white all through the town." The would have said another word that they preferred, but Lily had told them to keep it G-rated.
"Shut you stupid mouths!" An old man yelled, shaking his fist. The men looked at each other, nodded, and sang "The old fart's fist shakes up and down, up and down, up and down. The old fart's fist shakes up and down all through the town."
During the rest of the ride, the made insulting verses to whoever dare insult them, while Lily, Christina, and Emily had stopped cheering them one and went to the back of the bus and were talking quietly. But when they were looming toward the parking lot, the bus driver stopped the bus and threw them off. When they hit the ground, the girls stepped gracefully off the bus. They were lead by Emily in singing to the driver "We're already there. Take a look around. We're in the parking lot." The guys interrupted them with "We love Dippin' Dots." After that the driver slammed the door shut and sped away. "That was productive." Sirius said, and with that they entered the mall. _______________________________________________________-
"Owww...." Sirius moaned as he rubbed his aching side. "Damn it woman, that hurt." "What did you call me?" Lily asked, her eyes flashing dangerously. "Absolutely nothing." He said quickly. "I heard him, he called you 'woman'." Remus said. Sirius didn't get elbowed this time, she bopped him in the head instead. "Thanks a lot Moony. Whose side are you on anyway?" Sirius asked. "Lily's of course." "You're all against me." Sirius complained. The Marauder Singing Contest (The Rematch!) Ariana Black "So, what did you think?" Sirius asked innocently as they sat down. Lily reached over, grabbed his ear, and stood up, forcing him to as well. "I think we had better go outside, as I don't think the rest of the school wants to see me torture you." She replied, leading him by the ear towards the back of the Hall. "Mommy." Sirius said as he was dragged along.
"Lily and Sirius don't seem to be back yet. Should we be worried?" Remus asked. "They aren't?" James asked, looking around. "Wait, there they are, getting ready to go onstage." Peter said, pointing across the Hall. His jaw suddenly dropped, causing Remus and James to look over for the cause. "Oh my God..." Remus said, barely suppressing a laugh. "What is he wearing?" James asked, failing to suppress a laugh (hey, not everyone has Remus' self control). "Poor, poor Padfoot." Peter laughing almost as hard as James (yeah right, like he has self control. You gotta be kidding me if you thought). Across the Hall, Sirius could hear them laughing. He looked pleadingly at Lily not to make him go onstage with her. "Sorry Sirius." she replied. "You should have known I'd get you back." "But this is cruel and unusual punishment." He pleaded. "Unusually Unusual punishment?" she asked innocently. She grabbed his arm and pulled him up towards the stage. "Its either this or I beat the Hell out of you, and you know I will." "I think the beating would be less painful." He murmured.
As soon as Sirius and Lily stepped onto the stage, the Marauders weren't the only ones laughing. They weren't doing it to be mean or anything (well, the Slytherins were, but that's just them), it was just the sight of what Sirius was wearing (drum roll please). Lily had forced him to wear a neon pink mini-skirt with black tights (come on girls, we all know we want to see him in tights!) and a bright blue, V-neck blouse. She'd even pulled his hair back in a red scrunchie with white heart on it. Lily was wearing an identical outfit, though it looked much funnier on Sirius. A few wolf whistles rang out from the audience, but no one was quite sure whether they were meant for Lily or Sirius. Sirius was blushing almost as brightly as the lipstick Lily had put on him, silently vowing never to do anything to upset Lily again, in case she thought of something worse to do to him next time. Though, what could be worse than public humiliation, he didn't know.
"P-poor Padfoot." James laughed. He knew he should feel sorry for his friend, but seeing him in that outfit made him want to laugh more than pity him. Finally, the audience managed to calm down. Until Dumbledore announced what song they were going to sing.
"Ahem. Well, as you can see, Lily Evans and Sirius Black will be singing next." Dumbledore said, trying hard not to show his own amusement. "They will be singing Girls Just Want To Have Fun."
Instantly, the school broke into laughter again. Sirius had his face buried in his hands, as if he thought that if he couldn't see the rest of the school, they couldn't see him. Or perhaps he was trying to pretend it was all a nightmare, right up there with showing up for class naked, or taking a test you haven't studied for. Lily nudged him in the ribs, forcing him back to reality, and they began to sing. ________________________________________________________-
Messers Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs! By Nicola2
You Saved Me By LadyLilyPotter
Stuck in Idiotville by Lady Stone
Moony Wormtail Padfoot and Prongs' notes By George is hot-Mrs. Moony
Padfoot and Moony Return to HoggywartyHogwarts! By Anrion
A Friendly, Innocent Game Of....Um...Cards? By Joltz
Sirius Calls Miss Cleo and Other Adventures By Insane Jewish Werewolf
Get Sirius By EntreNous
The Marauders singing contest By ____________________________________________________________-
A/N: Please review! Pretty pretty please? With sugar on top? Please, reviews are my life source! Well aside from sugar, chocolate and caffine.
Sirius: Just review so she'll shut up.
Author: I'll send you pixie stix!