Y'all know the dilly yo, that I don't own these characters, marvel or anything else. Sometimes I wish I did, but wishing ain't having… oh well. Y'all know the drill.. blah blah blah.
This story doesn't really fit in with the X-Men Evolution timeline at all nor would I try to make it to. However, in this story, Gambit was an acolyte, and Magneto disappeared. Oh yes, and the first meeting with Gambit and Rogue and the card and the whole media thing still happened. Oh, and Evan doesn't exist in this story or he's off with the morlocks because I don't really need a whole bunch of characters to incorporate into the story, since this is really a ROMY story. Everything else is all A/U but in a beautiful way. Enjoy!
Somewhere I Belong
"'Cause I am hanging on every word you're saying. Even if you don't wanna speak tonight. That's alright, alright with me 'cause I want nothing more than to sit outside heaven's door and listen to your breathing. It's where I wanna be." – Lifehouse
The hallway was dark and the floor was uncomfortably hard. It was also eerily silent and nothing was making a noise except for the ticking of the clock. The only sign of life in the hallway was a young man sitting against a wall next to a door. His red eyes glowed distinctly and he just listened. That was what he had been doing for the whole day and the day before.
Just listening.
She had been sleeping in her room since they've returned yesterday. Hank and the Professor had both checked her over but could not figure out what was behind her ailments. Rogue, however, requested only one thing, which was sleep. On the ride home, he had opted to drive because of the obvious reasons. He made sure to park Logan's bike exactly where it was found and everything was in place down to the covering of the bike in Logan's clothes to hide their scents. Must remove the clothes later, he reminded himself. He leaned his head against the wall and sighed. He didn't have any logical reasons to sit outside her room and wait. He didn't even know what he was waiting for. Nothing made sense to him anymore.
Rogue had a calming effect on him and as much as he denied it, he loved it. He loved that she was able to make his fears go away. Whenever he was around her, she helped him be at peace with himself. Around her, he was not an unwanted outsider; he was not the frightening devil-like mutant people feared he was; and he was not the orphan he always thought he was.
He was just Remy.
Maybe that was why he sat outside her door. Maybe he was waiting for the assurance she gave him of who he was and who he wasn't. He didn't want to care about Rogue. He really didn't. Every logical cell in his brain is telling him that it was a bad idea to trust another person. He took that chance of trusting once and look where it had gotten him. His family disowned him, his love claimed she never loved him, and he was left alone again, like he had always been before. There was too much of a risk. There was too much to lose. As much as he pretended it didn't hurt, it hurt more than anything he thought possible.
Yet, it seemed that Rogue understood. Not only did she understand, she took away the pain; she took away the hurt. That was why he purposely spent so much time with her and flirted with her shamelessly. The more angry she grew with him meant the more she would feel the need to win an argument with him which meant more time of simply knowing who he was and feeling painless. It was selfish, and he knew it but he still wanted it.
At first, it had been so easy to flirt with her. He would obtain those few precious moments of tranquility every day and it was satisfying. The more he flirted with her though, the more he realized that he cared about her. What she was helping him with was exactly what he wanted to help her with. He knew she felt alone, who wouldn't with a mutation like hers, he thought. That was why he wanted to show her. He wanted to show her that she was worth so much more than just skin contact or meaningless romps in the sack. He wanted to show her that she was simply incredible and that was all that she need be. He knew she expected a life of solitude. He knew she cringed every time when she saw displays of affection by other couples. He knew that she would go on her long walks and cry about all that have abandoned her and all that will continue to ignore her. Whenever he saw her curled up by that little pond, he wanted to jump up and down and cry that he did not ignore her that he would never abandon her and that he was hers if she simply wished him be.
Then he would be reminded of the pain that love caused when he was with Belladonna. It was devastating when she had left him. Even worse, she claimed that she had never loved him. And this reminded him that he didn't ever want to love again and that love only caused pain. And no matter how great love was, it would always end. That was what always made him turn around and leave her to her crying. He always looked back though but he never turned back.
Now, he was sitting by her door. The reasons were still unknown to him why he was sitting by her door. Perhaps he was waiting for the calm she always provided for him. Perhaps it was because he wanted to let her know that he cared about her. Perhaps it was just comforting to hear her faint breathing which soothed the worry in his mind.
"Remy?" A deep voice asked.
Remy turned his head to his left to meet the owner of the voice. His red eyes met a comforting set of blue ones.
"Oh, Bonjour Monsieur McCoy." He greeted halfheartedly.
"Good day to you too, Remy. And please call me Hank." Hank greeted in return but with more enthusiasm and cheerfulness.
"Is our patient still sleeping?" Hank asked him when he approached Remy.
"Oui. Been sleeping all day." Remy responded.
"Come then." Hank simply told him and started walking down the hallway again.
"Ou?" Remy asked him, confused by the command.
"Well, being that it is Christmas, I feel that we should cook a rather delightful meal even if it is only for the four of us. I'm confident that Rogue will be feeling rather hungry once she has awoken." Hank explained.
"Oh. Umm…" Remy began. He didn't know what to say. Yes, he did want to help Hank since he felt that he should pull his weight around the mansion after the Professor had welcomed him in so warmly. But at the same time, he really wanted to make sure that Rogue was okay. He didn't want her to be going into another attack and without him around to be there for her.
Hank looked down at Remy. The boy looked distraught, confused, and torn. It was obvious that Remy had feelings for Rogue no matter how much those two denied it.
Hank smiled warmly and said, "Remy, I want to ensure you that Rogue will be fine. I did check her over and she is as healthy as can be. But she won't be as healthy if she wakes up and find that there is no food waiting for her to be eaten. I keep reminding the girl that breakfast is the most important meal, and that goes the same for you too, Remy. So, why don't we go make ourselves a pleasant Christmas dinner fit for the kings?"
"D'accord." He agreed and got up off the ground. He stretched himself out as Hank continued on his course to the kitchen. Remy looked at her door once more before he followed Hank to make dinner.
-xoxo-
Rogue rubbed her eyes as she sat up in her bed. The room was pitched dark and the only light that was offered came from the moon that shone through the window. She stretched her arms and felt rather rejuvenated. She hadn't had such a good restful sleep since well since ever. It felt as if a guard was in her mind, blocking out all psyches except for her own.
She glanced at her alarm clock, which flashed a bright 6:30p.m.
"Holy shit, Ah slept for like eighteen hours!" She exclaimed. Then, her stomach growling and she realized that she probably hadn't eaten for eighteen hours also. Then she realized that it was Christmas and dinner was probably ready.
She got up and was about to walk down to the dining room dressed in the slacks and t-shirt that she had worn to sleep. However, she could smell the aroma of the food that was cooking probably by Hank and realized that she should change into something more respectable to show her appreciation for the chef.
She turned on her bedroom light and walked over the closet. She opened it and realized that she didn't really have any clothes that were considered 'respectable.' All she had were a bunch of tights, jeans, t-shirts, long sleeve shirts, the occasional skirt and mesh shirts. Not to mention that most of the clothing's colours were black, red, and green. She started to roam through her closet. There must be something in here, she thought with frustration.
Finally she found a dress at the back of the closet. She pulled it out and tried to remember where in the world did she get this dress. It was a long sleeve dress with a rather low V-neckline but where her breasts would most likely hang out, there was a silver strap that held the dress together and kept her breasts in place. The dress went down to her mid-thigh and was green in colour. She really couldn't recall where the dress had came from, but she put it on nonetheless.
To add to her ensemble, she accentuated with a pair of dangling earring, black knee boots, of course her gloves, and she decided to put part of her hair up while leaving the white streaks to frame her face. She took a look in the mirror and intuitively reached for the powder. When she looked down at the powder she also saw the bottle of make-up remover next to it. The words were clear as day:
'You're beautiful just the way you are.'
Her fingers left the powder and went to stroke the letters of his words on the remover's bottle. She smiled slightly and realized that even if she had the make-up on, she wouldn't be able to hide anything from him anyways. He saw her for all she was and he was the only one who did. Yes, she hated the fact that he understood her like nobody ever did. Yes, she hated how because of that he knew exactly what to do to piss her off and what to do to make her smile. And perhaps what she hated the most about him was that he was a constant reminder of what she would never have or could have.
But she liked him for all the same reasons. She liked how he didn't ignore her. She liked how he understood her like nobody ever did. And she liked that she didn't feel so alone in the world when she was with him.
Maybe it was foolish thinking on her part. She knew that they could never be more than what they have because to have something more was impossible for her. He was a forbidden fruit that was constantly tempting her to take a bite.
"ARGH!" She cried out in frustration. I don't care for the Cajun and that was that, she declared in her head.
His cocky grin and cheap words are only cocky and cheap. The words didn't hold any meaning at all. Yet, she couldn't help but feel that he meant those words when he spoke to her and the grin he gave her was a genuine one; a smile he gave because he enjoyed her presence as much as she enjoyed his.
She looked down at the make up in front of her and make-up remover. Another glance in the mirror and she decided to skip the make-up. Tonight, she had nobody to hide from. Tonight, she was simply going to be herself.
When she was with him that was who she was anyway.
-xoxo-
The food was all spread across the table. The small turkey was in place, the mash potatoes, gravy, peas and carrots, corn, cranberry sauce, and even the centerpiece of a beautiful arrangement of poinsettias and holly were in place. Professor Xavier had already wheeled in and was seated at the head of the huge dining table. Hank was chatting with the professor about the new breakthroughs that were discovered in human genetics. Remy was still in the kitchen whipping up something.
Rogue walked into the dining room, dressed to the nines.
"Merry Christmas, Professor. Merry Christmas, Mr. McCoy." She greeted them cheerfully and took a seat across from Hank.
"Merry Christmas to you too, Rogue. How was your sleep?" Professor Xavier greeted her back accompanied with a warm smile. Hank's eyes widened a little at the apparent make-up missing on Rogue, but he quickly changed his expression into a more joyous one with less shock.
"It was fine, Professor, since I slept for 18 hours. Why didn't y'all wake me up?" She asked him.
"We were tempted to, but didn't feel it was necessary. Also, it looked that you needed the sleep. You have been looking awfully tired of late. Is there something we should know, Rogue?" Professor Xavier asked.
Rogue glanced away and answered, "No. Nothing, Professor., but ah haven't slept so well since well before my mutation manifested."
"Good to hear that, Rogue." The Professor responded.
Hank looked her over. Her cheeks glowed a healthy pink and her green eyes seemed brighter than usual. But he still asked, "Are you sure you will not be needing another physical examination, Rogue? I am not quite sure that you are completely well. You may have caught the…"
"Yes, Mr. McCoy. Ah'm fine. Don' worry." Rogue reassured him and gave him a smile as if that would convince him otherwise.
"The food looks good, Ah'm starving. Where's Remy?" She asked as she realized that he hadn't seemed to arrive yet.
"Right here, chere." Remy said as he walked through the dining room door that was connected to the kitchen. He didn't look up though as he was preoccupied with dusting off flour that had gotten on his red dress shirt and forest green tie. He was still wearing his chef's hat and Rogue held back a giggle when she saw him in it. When he was finally done dusting himself off, he looked up and his mouth dropped.
Sitting before him was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen. Her hair was up, she was in an incredibly sexy green dress with a very low cut, and she didn't have any of that heavy make-up on her. He was convinced at that point that she was an angel.
"Merry Christmas, Remy." She greeted him and a deep pink came across her cheeks as she realized that Remy's reaction was because of her.
"Joyeux Noel, Rogue." He stuttered slightly as he tried to regain his composure.
He quickly walked over to her and took the seat next to hers. He just watched her and marveled at her beauty. He had even forgotten that the hat was still on him or that there were two other people at the table.
"Merry Christmas to you too, Remy." Professor Xavier said which brought Remy's attention back to reality.
Remy's eyes adverted back to the two mentors and he greeted in return, "Oh, oui. Joyeux Noel, Professor. Joyeux Noel, Hank."
Rogue stifled in a giggle as Remy's eyes returned to her. She glanced at his goofy expression and the chef hat still on his head. Her hand shot straight out and swiped the hat off of his head in a swift motion. Her hand twirled the hat and he looked at her with even more amazement, if that was possible.
"Ya were still wearing it, swamp rat." She commented and pretended to be indifferent to his love struck gaze by paying attention to the food before her instead.
"Can we eat yet?" She asked the two adults.
Hank and Professor Xavier both laughed at the comedic yet sweet situation that was before their eyes.
"I believe we can. Let's begin this magnificent feast." The Professor responded.
The three began to pass the food around as each filled their plates with the savoring delicacies. Rogue took the bowl of mashed potatoes and scooped a portion on to her plate. She passed it to Remy who was still so entranced with her to even notice the outreached bowl.
"Swamp rat, ya want it or not?" She asked with a hint of annoyance. Why won't he quit staring, she wondered.
Her voice seemed to have brought him out of his trance as he looked down at the bowl. He took it from her and said, "Merci, chere. Y' look magnificent. Y' feelin' better?"
Rogue blushed deeply and managed to answer in a soft voice, "Ah feel fine, and thanks, Remy."
"Y're welcome, chere." He replied warmly.
The two adults looked at one another and gave each other the understanding nod and smile at the two young adults who were clearly smitten with each other on this joyous Christmas day.
-xoxo-
Outside, the snow was beginning to fall lightly on the already formed snow beds. While inside the mansion, the fire was roaring in the hearth and the tree shined splendidly. By the tree, there was a chess game going on between Professor Xavier and Hank McCoy. By the fire, there were two awkward young adults, who clearly had feelings for each other yet were too scared to do anything about it so they resorted to chatting about the many nothings of small talk.
"So how are y' enjoyin' noel wit' me, chere?" Remy asked lightly as his eyes never left her since they had sat down by the fire.
"Not exactly what ah was expectin' for this Christmas but ah guess it'll have t'do." Rogue replied as she stared into the fire.
"What were y'expectin' den, chere?" Remy asked with a new curiosity.
"Just a quiet Christmas wit' the Professor and Mr. McCoy." Rogue responded.
"Is dis better, chere?" Remy questioned seriously although he tried to pass it off in a flirtatious tone.
Rogue adverted her eyes to Remy's beautiful glowing red ones. "Yeah." She answered honestly.
"Wow, chere, almost expectin' y' t'give Remy a sarcastic remark." He said with somewhat shock.
"It's Christmas, Remy. We can bicker t'morrow. Right now, let's just enjoy what we have." Rogue told him.
"What is it dat we have, Rogue?" He questioned, but this time with the utmost seriousness.
"Ah really don't know, Remy. We can figure that out tomorrow too." She answered.
Remy laughed at her last statement and said, "Remy guess we'll have t'do dat t'morrow den. Now, let's see what we can do now."
He got up and walked towards the entertainment unit of the massive recreation room. Rogue's eyebrow arched up slightly at what he was doing. Suddenly, she knew as a soft Christmas song played. Remy walked back towards her and extended his hand.
"May I have dis dance, chere?" He asked her and gave her a warm smile and not his usual patent cocky grin.
She took his hand and smiled back. "Sure." She replied and he lifted her up into his arms.
They started swaying to the song as he held her close to her and her arms were wrapped around his neck. They stared into each other's eyes as the comforting and safe feelings they had over each other were felt.
"Rogue, y're beautiful." He whispered softly.
She blushed at his comment and replied, "Not too bad, ya'self, Remy."
"Rogue, I think I'm in…"
"Shh.. let's just enjoy this dance, 'k?" She interrupted him before he could make a potential disastrous mistake. She also did it for herself, for she knew it would hurt too much if he said the words she wanted to hear and the words she wanted to say herself.
"D'accord." He agreed as he realized that he almost did the one thing he never wanted to do again.
The music was fading as the song ended. He didn't let go of her though as he still held her. She allowed herself to be held for a little longer before breaking lightly away from him. He took her gloved hand in his though. His other hand was lifted above them.
"What are ya doin', Remy?" She asked him with curiosity.
"Look up, chere." He requested and so she did. In his hands above them were mistletoe.
Her eyes narrowed as she began to fume. What he was doing was only insensitive and it just reminded her of what could never be. How could he do that to me, she wondered.
"Why are ya holding that? Ya know ah can't, ya know it'll never work, ya know ah can't give ya want ya want. Ah can't ever give ya what ya want." She explained rapidly and angrily.
He wasn't thrown off by her response though and simply said, "Dis is all Remy wants." He proceeded to kiss her glove hand. Then, he wrapped his arms around her once more and kissed the top of her head.
"Oh," was her reply as she found her arms suddenly wrapped around him.
"Let me hold you, Rogue." He requested softly.
"Okay." She replied as she placed her head against his chest and he rested his on top of her head while stroking her back with a few of his fingers.
"Remy?"
"Oui?"
"Merry Christmas." Rogue muffled into his chest.
"Merry Christmas to you too." Remy whispered and kissed the top of her head again.
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