A/N: Hey. Yet another chapter, sorry for the shortness, I wanted to get
this out before the end of February. Anyway, Enjoy, and the more reviews,
the faster you get your new chapter! Again, if you know of any story that
has the Marauders, or Sirius in it, tell me the title. Also I can usually
find good stuff thru your favorite stories and author pages. REVIEW PLEASE.
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James Potter was mad. He was trying to sleep when an uncanny voice of Sirius Black rang out off-key, singing songs from The Beatles.
"Sirius! It's been 2 bloody hours! I need sleep!"
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In the fight that followed involved flying food, teachers screaming detentions left and right, and people on both sides being pummeled by a stuffed rabbit. Finally the teachers resorted to stunning spells (it took three to subdue Sirius. He didn't wake up for two days).
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"You're not so high and mighty without James to watch your back, are you Black?" Black turned on his heel.
"You didn't." He stalked towards Snape, whipping his wand out of a pocket. "There's only one way to settle this, Snivellus."
"A duel."
"No. Staring contest." For a moment, Severus deluded himself into thinking Black had finally mastered the art of sarcasm. Bloody hell, it wasn't sarcasm. Black was serious, standing there staring incessantly at Snape. And for the more childish parts of him, Severus found himself staring back. Lupin collapsed on the stairs. He knew this could take a while.
Three hours later, Lupin had fallen asleep on the staircase. Staring contests were odious enough among muggles and underaged wizards. However, when "mature" wizards started hexing their own eyes open . . . Sometimes these events could go on for weeks. Moony stirred awake and glanced at the clock and then to the two competing wizards. Just when Lupine had resigned to being fated to spend his summer refereeing a staring match, a strange thing happened.
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Remus looked over in shock. "Why, Padfoot, that was downright profound. I didn't know you had it in you." Sirius chuckled, a little life returning to his voice. "Mr. Padfoot respectfully requests that Mr. Moony keep his estimable, yet sarcastic, remarks in that rather empty space called his brain." Remus smiled at this revival of the traditional Marauders debating tactic. "Mr. Moony, although surprised that Mr. Padfoot actually knows the meaning of the word estimable, doubts that he could spell it, seeing as Mr. Padfoot's age has now overtaken his IQ." This actually managed to get a laugh from Sirius. "Ouch. You always were the best at that." Remus bowed his head mockingly, glad to see his friend smiling again. "Thank you, thank you."
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How many dogs does it take to a change light bulb? Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb? Rottweiler: Make me. Lab: Oh, me, me!!!! Pleeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark...... Irish Wolfhound: Can somebody else do it? I've got this hangover..... German Shepherd: I'm not trained to change bulbs, just to guard the house. So don't try anything!
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"What sort of spell--?" Snape began aimlessly.
"It's not a spell. Sirius stuck the house elf in there."
"The perhaps we should release it."
"No," Black cut in. "Let's follow him." The three men were somewhat beyond their better senses and set off after the moving pan. At an agonizingly slow pace, they followed the trapped house elf out of the common room, down the hall, into a closet and through what appeared to be a dog flap in the back of the closet. After wriggling through the small opening, Lupin and Black--Snape had grown bored--found themselves in what seemed to be another of Kreacher's store holds. In fact, no sooner had they entered then the pan holding Kreacher began to throw itself at the floor repeatedly until the tape tore loose and the disoriented elf spilled on to the floor below.
Kreacher took no notice of the two strangers in his odd little fortress. Rather, he picked up a knife from the table and began to chant what was apparently a voodoo curse intermixed with the lyrics of the "Macerena." Kreacher then began to launch himself at what had once been a portrait of Sirius, but now the canvas was ripped and shredded nearly beyond recognition. This didn't seem to deter Kreacher in the least, but rather the house elf tore and stabbed the painting with unprecedented fury. A startled Sirius backed up slowly and began to crawl back into the closet, Lupin pushing him in a panic. The two ran from the room and collapsed into chairs in the common room.
"That was the single most disturbing thing I've ever seen," Black laughed.
"You've never seen Tonks naked twice in the same week."
"I've seen you naked."
"Yeah, but you liked it." Black shrugged guiltily.
"What's that noise?" Black asked, looking to the ceiling and changing the topic.
_________________________________________________________-
"Heeee'sa makin' eh list, an' he's checkin' iiit twiiice." These were the first words I heard on the wintry Christmas morning of my sixth year. I easily recognized the voices that were butchering the Muggle song. James Potter and Sirius Black had started yet another Christmas morning completely and utterly smashed. It was beginning to become a tradition. However, the other two times did not involve them smothering our dorm room with tinsel. The entire room was plastered in the stuff; it blocked the windows, the doors, covered the bedposts, and twisted around a snoring mass that I later found out to be Peter. Even Attila was in the Christmas mood; she too was tinsel covered, and a small Santa's hat was perched on top of her head, little holes cut out for her long ears.
"Gooonnaaaa find out whooo's naughty or nice." Sang Sirius boisterously, half-supported by James, who was swaying to the tune, attempting to seal Peter's wardrobe shut with more tinsel, which had been charmed Gryffindor colors. Sirius had made himself a hula skirt out of similarly colored strands, and, clad only in it and boxers, attempted to stumble my direction. He failed, falling face first into the carpet, where he became enamored by a piece of flint
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Moony and Black heard a blood curdling scream coming from the floor above them Black looked quizzically at his friend.
"Don't look at me. It wasn't my fault this time, mate," Lupin muttered.
At that moment, Hermione tore down the steps, cheeks flushed.
"I . . . just saw . . . the most . . . horrible thing!" she sobbed.
"Was it Kreacher's fault?" Black asked, rising at the chance to punish the house elf.
"No, not . . . him. Professor Snape. He was . . . he was . . . he was TAP DANCING!" Hermione bawled from the emotional trauma of it all.
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"MUM HAS COME TO HOGWARTS!" Shrieked Sirius, eyes rapidly bulging. He scrambled for the window, only to be caught in the tinsel like a fly caught in a spider web. James ended up cowering under Peter's bed (he wasn't drunk enough to go under Sirius's, or his own, at least), murmuring something about 'werewolf PMSing' and 'rabid ice weasels.'
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But don't worry, you still have the record for most embarrassing detention. Remember that time you had a few too many butterbeers celebrating a Quidditch victory? When McGonagall came in to break us up, you were in your Animagus form and ended up humping her leg!
_______________________________________________________-
She ended up in my dorm room, and was lost in the dark dank portal to hell, also known as Under Sirius's Bed, The Eater of Important Things You Need For Your Next Class, and the Reason that James has No Boxers and Has to Steal Sirius's.
______________________________________________________-
Segments from...
Sirius Black and the Lyrics of Misfortune by MBlack-Sirius' secret lover
The Gold Book by Snuffles2
The Noble and Most Ancient House of Boredom by Meg Kenobi
Redemption by krtshadow
This means war! Jeconais
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A/N: So? Review time! I just love the part about Sirius humping Mcgonagalls leg, don't you? Also, in this means war! There is a very funny part that you wouldn't exactly understand without reading the story, involving Ginny, Fudge, and a threatened neutering of Sirius in dog form.
____________________________________________________________-
James Potter was mad. He was trying to sleep when an uncanny voice of Sirius Black rang out off-key, singing songs from The Beatles.
"Sirius! It's been 2 bloody hours! I need sleep!"
___________________________________________________________-
In the fight that followed involved flying food, teachers screaming detentions left and right, and people on both sides being pummeled by a stuffed rabbit. Finally the teachers resorted to stunning spells (it took three to subdue Sirius. He didn't wake up for two days).
_____________________________________________________________-
"You're not so high and mighty without James to watch your back, are you Black?" Black turned on his heel.
"You didn't." He stalked towards Snape, whipping his wand out of a pocket. "There's only one way to settle this, Snivellus."
"A duel."
"No. Staring contest." For a moment, Severus deluded himself into thinking Black had finally mastered the art of sarcasm. Bloody hell, it wasn't sarcasm. Black was serious, standing there staring incessantly at Snape. And for the more childish parts of him, Severus found himself staring back. Lupin collapsed on the stairs. He knew this could take a while.
Three hours later, Lupin had fallen asleep on the staircase. Staring contests were odious enough among muggles and underaged wizards. However, when "mature" wizards started hexing their own eyes open . . . Sometimes these events could go on for weeks. Moony stirred awake and glanced at the clock and then to the two competing wizards. Just when Lupine had resigned to being fated to spend his summer refereeing a staring match, a strange thing happened.
___________________________________________________________-
Remus looked over in shock. "Why, Padfoot, that was downright profound. I didn't know you had it in you." Sirius chuckled, a little life returning to his voice. "Mr. Padfoot respectfully requests that Mr. Moony keep his estimable, yet sarcastic, remarks in that rather empty space called his brain." Remus smiled at this revival of the traditional Marauders debating tactic. "Mr. Moony, although surprised that Mr. Padfoot actually knows the meaning of the word estimable, doubts that he could spell it, seeing as Mr. Padfoot's age has now overtaken his IQ." This actually managed to get a laugh from Sirius. "Ouch. You always were the best at that." Remus bowed his head mockingly, glad to see his friend smiling again. "Thank you, thank you."
________________________________________________________-
How many dogs does it take to a change light bulb? Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb? Rottweiler: Make me. Lab: Oh, me, me!!!! Pleeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark...... Irish Wolfhound: Can somebody else do it? I've got this hangover..... German Shepherd: I'm not trained to change bulbs, just to guard the house. So don't try anything!
________________________________________________________-
"What sort of spell--?" Snape began aimlessly.
"It's not a spell. Sirius stuck the house elf in there."
"The perhaps we should release it."
"No," Black cut in. "Let's follow him." The three men were somewhat beyond their better senses and set off after the moving pan. At an agonizingly slow pace, they followed the trapped house elf out of the common room, down the hall, into a closet and through what appeared to be a dog flap in the back of the closet. After wriggling through the small opening, Lupin and Black--Snape had grown bored--found themselves in what seemed to be another of Kreacher's store holds. In fact, no sooner had they entered then the pan holding Kreacher began to throw itself at the floor repeatedly until the tape tore loose and the disoriented elf spilled on to the floor below.
Kreacher took no notice of the two strangers in his odd little fortress. Rather, he picked up a knife from the table and began to chant what was apparently a voodoo curse intermixed with the lyrics of the "Macerena." Kreacher then began to launch himself at what had once been a portrait of Sirius, but now the canvas was ripped and shredded nearly beyond recognition. This didn't seem to deter Kreacher in the least, but rather the house elf tore and stabbed the painting with unprecedented fury. A startled Sirius backed up slowly and began to crawl back into the closet, Lupin pushing him in a panic. The two ran from the room and collapsed into chairs in the common room.
"That was the single most disturbing thing I've ever seen," Black laughed.
"You've never seen Tonks naked twice in the same week."
"I've seen you naked."
"Yeah, but you liked it." Black shrugged guiltily.
"What's that noise?" Black asked, looking to the ceiling and changing the topic.
_________________________________________________________-
"Heeee'sa makin' eh list, an' he's checkin' iiit twiiice." These were the first words I heard on the wintry Christmas morning of my sixth year. I easily recognized the voices that were butchering the Muggle song. James Potter and Sirius Black had started yet another Christmas morning completely and utterly smashed. It was beginning to become a tradition. However, the other two times did not involve them smothering our dorm room with tinsel. The entire room was plastered in the stuff; it blocked the windows, the doors, covered the bedposts, and twisted around a snoring mass that I later found out to be Peter. Even Attila was in the Christmas mood; she too was tinsel covered, and a small Santa's hat was perched on top of her head, little holes cut out for her long ears.
"Gooonnaaaa find out whooo's naughty or nice." Sang Sirius boisterously, half-supported by James, who was swaying to the tune, attempting to seal Peter's wardrobe shut with more tinsel, which had been charmed Gryffindor colors. Sirius had made himself a hula skirt out of similarly colored strands, and, clad only in it and boxers, attempted to stumble my direction. He failed, falling face first into the carpet, where he became enamored by a piece of flint
_______________________________________________________-
Moony and Black heard a blood curdling scream coming from the floor above them Black looked quizzically at his friend.
"Don't look at me. It wasn't my fault this time, mate," Lupin muttered.
At that moment, Hermione tore down the steps, cheeks flushed.
"I . . . just saw . . . the most . . . horrible thing!" she sobbed.
"Was it Kreacher's fault?" Black asked, rising at the chance to punish the house elf.
"No, not . . . him. Professor Snape. He was . . . he was . . . he was TAP DANCING!" Hermione bawled from the emotional trauma of it all.
_______________________________________________________-
"MUM HAS COME TO HOGWARTS!" Shrieked Sirius, eyes rapidly bulging. He scrambled for the window, only to be caught in the tinsel like a fly caught in a spider web. James ended up cowering under Peter's bed (he wasn't drunk enough to go under Sirius's, or his own, at least), murmuring something about 'werewolf PMSing' and 'rabid ice weasels.'
_______________________________________________________-
But don't worry, you still have the record for most embarrassing detention. Remember that time you had a few too many butterbeers celebrating a Quidditch victory? When McGonagall came in to break us up, you were in your Animagus form and ended up humping her leg!
_______________________________________________________-
She ended up in my dorm room, and was lost in the dark dank portal to hell, also known as Under Sirius's Bed, The Eater of Important Things You Need For Your Next Class, and the Reason that James has No Boxers and Has to Steal Sirius's.
______________________________________________________-
Segments from...
Sirius Black and the Lyrics of Misfortune by MBlack-Sirius' secret lover
The Gold Book by Snuffles2
The Noble and Most Ancient House of Boredom by Meg Kenobi
Redemption by krtshadow
This means war! Jeconais
________________________________________________________-
A/N: So? Review time! I just love the part about Sirius humping Mcgonagalls leg, don't you? Also, in this means war! There is a very funny part that you wouldn't exactly understand without reading the story, involving Ginny, Fudge, and a threatened neutering of Sirius in dog form.