What's a Wanda?
Chapter 3 - Jorgen Von STUPID
[Timmy and his fairies are in his room. Timmy is next to a blackboard which reads "Mr Turner - Basic Fairy God Parent Training". He has a teacher's long, pointy stick thing (Yes the author is inarticulate, OK?) and an apple on his teacher desk. Cosmo and Wanda are at student desks, with notepads.]
Timmy: So, Wanda, please re-cap on what you have learnt so far.
Wanda: My name is Wanda, Your name is Timmy. I'm a Fairy God Parent who was sent to grant your every wish with my husband Cosfo -
Cosmo: (interrupting) Cosmo.
Wanda: Sorry, Cosdo. So we grant wishes, get into zany and whacky stunts and generally mess around?
Timmy: Yep, that's pretty much it.
Wanda: What a crazy idea! they should call us the "Fairly ODD Parents!".
Cosmo: Ha! WHAT A STUPID IDEA! Sounds like an animated series!
Timmy: And remember, no other human is supposed to see you except me. So everytime another person is at risk of seeing you, you gotta change into something inconspicious.
Cosmo: Yeah. And you make me pancakes for breakfast everyday and give me back rubs every few hours.
Timmy: COSMO!
Cosmo: What? Just trying to make light of a bad situation!
Wanda: Right. OK. I think this is slowly sinking in.
Cosmo: It is? Back rub please!
Wanda: (sarcastically) I lost my memory, not my will to live.
Cosmo: (shrugs) Worth a try.
Wanda: I've been practicing my magic too! I just need something to practice it on...
Cosmo: Can do!
[Cosmo waves his wand and a bottle of ketchup appears on Wanda's desk.]
Timmy: Ketchup?
Cosmo: Tastes great on everything! Especially cookies!
[Wanda waves her wand. There's a small poof of smoke. The ketchup looks exactly the same.]
Wanda: (delighted)YAY ME!
Timmy: You didn't do anything!
Wanda: [rolling eyes] Hello? I obviously turned it into Catsup! YAY!
Timmy: (not impressed) You know I always thought you and Cosmo couldn't be any more different, but now I can see why you got married.
Wanda: Hmmm. I still don't quite see it.
Cosmo: (offended) Hey! I got loadsa great qualities, OK, I'm not the sharpest pencil in the box but -
[Cosmo's desk suddenly wobbles. His chair legs suddenly buckle and he flies of the chair, pushing the desk over as he goes down. He ends up in a heap on the floor, half covered by the broken desk. Wanda bursts into hysterical laughter, so much so that she falls backwards off her chair]
Wanda: [getting to her feet] Well you're funny, I'll give you that!
[She giggles to herself and manages to float up to the air next to Cosmo. She hovers, and doesn't fall.]
Wanda: I can fly?
Timmy: She can fly!
Cosmo: You can fly, you can fly, you caann fly!!!
Timmy: Shhh. Keep the Peter Pan references to a minimum, do you want to get accused of copyright theft?!
Wanda: I can fly!
[She hugs Cosmo in delight, who hugs back. But then she remembers her situation and lets go.]
Wanda: Nope, it's still too weird hugging you, Cosko.
Cosmo: COS-MO! It's not rocket science, woman!
[They are interrputed by a huge poof of smoke and a loud booming voice, who should appear but JORGEN VON STRANGLE!!]
Timmy: (deadpan) Great. Perfect timing.
Jorgen: Puny pink 'aired fairee! It iz time for yur trainin'! Now move and show me sum magik, you stoopid waste of wings!
Wanda: (angry) EXCUSE ME! I have no idea who you are, but that was VERY RUDE! Now apologise for calling me a [imitates him] puny pink 'aired fairee!
[Timmy and Cosmo smack their hands to their foreheads in frustration.]
Jorgen: As good as yur impression ov me waz, HOW DARE YU TALK TO ME LIKE THAT! I AM JORGEN VON STRANGLE! FEAR ME!
Wanda: Jorgen Von Stupid more like.
Jorgen: That's it. I gave yu a chance to beg! BUT NOW YU WILL PAAAAAAAAAAAY!
Timmy: Please don't hurt her Mr. Strangle! She doesn't know what she's saying! She has ammnesia!
Cosmo: I thought she just lost her memory?
[They all turn to look at Wanda who is studying the fishbowl.]
Wanda: This looks familiar. Was I a fish in a past life?
Jorgen: Ammnesia? How?
Timmy: (laughing nervously) Funny story...
Jorgen: I do not care! She better be bak to normal by tomorrouw at noon! Or she will PAY! FIX IT!
[Jorgen poofs out.]
Wanda: Well HE was rude.
Timmy: Oh my gosh! If we don't get Wanda back to normal by tomorrow she's dead! And I can't be stuck with JUST Cosmo as my God Parent! Agghhhh! THE HORROR!
Cosmo: I'm floating right here, you know.
Timmy: This is terrible! Cosmo, what if we actually erased it all?! She might never remember!
Cosmo: Don't be so cynical Timmy, we might -
Timmy: SHE CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER YOUR NAME!
Cosmo: WE'RE DOOOOOOOOOOOMED!
Wanda: You didn't erase it all.
Timmy: (shocked) How do you know? Wait.....Do you remember something?! Someone?!
Wanda: No.
Timmy: DOOOOOOOOOOOMED!
Wanda: But I know something. I know that everything works out, and for some reason I know you guys always help me.
[Timmy and Cosmo exchange glances.]
Timmy: How do you know that?
Wanda: I don't know. But I trust it.
Cosmo: Yeah! We just gotta keep trying.
Wanda: [to Cosmo] Do you have any ideas?
Cosmo: Wow. You really don't remember anything about me, do you?
Timmy: I once read...
Wanda: When you say "read", you mean, 'saw it on a cartoon', don't you?
Timmy: Yes! You remember!?
Wanda: No, but I'm getting to know you guys. You are predictable as cartoon characters.
Timmy: Well I saw that if you hit someone on the head they lose memory, so maybe if we hit Wanda it'll work backwards and she'll get her memory back!
Wanda: NO WAY!
Timmy: COSMO!
[Cosmo is floating behind Wanda with a baseball bat. He's swinging it at Wanda's head.]
Timmy: BAD IDEA!
Cosmo: Oohhhh. Darn it!
[Cosmo lowers the bat but he loses control, it swings and hits him in the, ahem, privates. He collapses to the ground. Wanda also collapses to the ground, but in hysterics.]
Wanda: Wow! That was the funniest thing that I've ever seen, not that I can remember many previous funny things, but it was still great!
[She cuddles Cosmo, who despite wincing in pain, smiles to himself.]
Wanda: Thanks for cheering me up.
[She realises what she's doing, and breaks off the hug.]
Wanda: Why do I keep doing that?
Cosmo: (sing song voice) Because you love meeeee!!!
[Wanda poofs up a big plastic shield. Cosmo attempts to hug her once more, but smacks into it. Wanda laughs again and poofs out a huge armchair, she sits on it.]
Wanda: All this laughing makes me tired!
Timmy: (shocked) Wanda! You did magic!
Wanda: I did? [looks at the chair and the shield] I DID!
Timmy: How?
Wanda: I don't know! But I think I have an idea!
......
Chapter 3 - Jorgen Von STUPID
[Timmy and his fairies are in his room. Timmy is next to a blackboard which reads "Mr Turner - Basic Fairy God Parent Training". He has a teacher's long, pointy stick thing (Yes the author is inarticulate, OK?) and an apple on his teacher desk. Cosmo and Wanda are at student desks, with notepads.]
Timmy: So, Wanda, please re-cap on what you have learnt so far.
Wanda: My name is Wanda, Your name is Timmy. I'm a Fairy God Parent who was sent to grant your every wish with my husband Cosfo -
Cosmo: (interrupting) Cosmo.
Wanda: Sorry, Cosdo. So we grant wishes, get into zany and whacky stunts and generally mess around?
Timmy: Yep, that's pretty much it.
Wanda: What a crazy idea! they should call us the "Fairly ODD Parents!".
Cosmo: Ha! WHAT A STUPID IDEA! Sounds like an animated series!
Timmy: And remember, no other human is supposed to see you except me. So everytime another person is at risk of seeing you, you gotta change into something inconspicious.
Cosmo: Yeah. And you make me pancakes for breakfast everyday and give me back rubs every few hours.
Timmy: COSMO!
Cosmo: What? Just trying to make light of a bad situation!
Wanda: Right. OK. I think this is slowly sinking in.
Cosmo: It is? Back rub please!
Wanda: (sarcastically) I lost my memory, not my will to live.
Cosmo: (shrugs) Worth a try.
Wanda: I've been practicing my magic too! I just need something to practice it on...
Cosmo: Can do!
[Cosmo waves his wand and a bottle of ketchup appears on Wanda's desk.]
Timmy: Ketchup?
Cosmo: Tastes great on everything! Especially cookies!
[Wanda waves her wand. There's a small poof of smoke. The ketchup looks exactly the same.]
Wanda: (delighted)YAY ME!
Timmy: You didn't do anything!
Wanda: [rolling eyes] Hello? I obviously turned it into Catsup! YAY!
Timmy: (not impressed) You know I always thought you and Cosmo couldn't be any more different, but now I can see why you got married.
Wanda: Hmmm. I still don't quite see it.
Cosmo: (offended) Hey! I got loadsa great qualities, OK, I'm not the sharpest pencil in the box but -
[Cosmo's desk suddenly wobbles. His chair legs suddenly buckle and he flies of the chair, pushing the desk over as he goes down. He ends up in a heap on the floor, half covered by the broken desk. Wanda bursts into hysterical laughter, so much so that she falls backwards off her chair]
Wanda: [getting to her feet] Well you're funny, I'll give you that!
[She giggles to herself and manages to float up to the air next to Cosmo. She hovers, and doesn't fall.]
Wanda: I can fly?
Timmy: She can fly!
Cosmo: You can fly, you can fly, you caann fly!!!
Timmy: Shhh. Keep the Peter Pan references to a minimum, do you want to get accused of copyright theft?!
Wanda: I can fly!
[She hugs Cosmo in delight, who hugs back. But then she remembers her situation and lets go.]
Wanda: Nope, it's still too weird hugging you, Cosko.
Cosmo: COS-MO! It's not rocket science, woman!
[They are interrputed by a huge poof of smoke and a loud booming voice, who should appear but JORGEN VON STRANGLE!!]
Timmy: (deadpan) Great. Perfect timing.
Jorgen: Puny pink 'aired fairee! It iz time for yur trainin'! Now move and show me sum magik, you stoopid waste of wings!
Wanda: (angry) EXCUSE ME! I have no idea who you are, but that was VERY RUDE! Now apologise for calling me a [imitates him] puny pink 'aired fairee!
[Timmy and Cosmo smack their hands to their foreheads in frustration.]
Jorgen: As good as yur impression ov me waz, HOW DARE YU TALK TO ME LIKE THAT! I AM JORGEN VON STRANGLE! FEAR ME!
Wanda: Jorgen Von Stupid more like.
Jorgen: That's it. I gave yu a chance to beg! BUT NOW YU WILL PAAAAAAAAAAAY!
Timmy: Please don't hurt her Mr. Strangle! She doesn't know what she's saying! She has ammnesia!
Cosmo: I thought she just lost her memory?
[They all turn to look at Wanda who is studying the fishbowl.]
Wanda: This looks familiar. Was I a fish in a past life?
Jorgen: Ammnesia? How?
Timmy: (laughing nervously) Funny story...
Jorgen: I do not care! She better be bak to normal by tomorrouw at noon! Or she will PAY! FIX IT!
[Jorgen poofs out.]
Wanda: Well HE was rude.
Timmy: Oh my gosh! If we don't get Wanda back to normal by tomorrow she's dead! And I can't be stuck with JUST Cosmo as my God Parent! Agghhhh! THE HORROR!
Cosmo: I'm floating right here, you know.
Timmy: This is terrible! Cosmo, what if we actually erased it all?! She might never remember!
Cosmo: Don't be so cynical Timmy, we might -
Timmy: SHE CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER YOUR NAME!
Cosmo: WE'RE DOOOOOOOOOOOMED!
Wanda: You didn't erase it all.
Timmy: (shocked) How do you know? Wait.....Do you remember something?! Someone?!
Wanda: No.
Timmy: DOOOOOOOOOOOMED!
Wanda: But I know something. I know that everything works out, and for some reason I know you guys always help me.
[Timmy and Cosmo exchange glances.]
Timmy: How do you know that?
Wanda: I don't know. But I trust it.
Cosmo: Yeah! We just gotta keep trying.
Wanda: [to Cosmo] Do you have any ideas?
Cosmo: Wow. You really don't remember anything about me, do you?
Timmy: I once read...
Wanda: When you say "read", you mean, 'saw it on a cartoon', don't you?
Timmy: Yes! You remember!?
Wanda: No, but I'm getting to know you guys. You are predictable as cartoon characters.
Timmy: Well I saw that if you hit someone on the head they lose memory, so maybe if we hit Wanda it'll work backwards and she'll get her memory back!
Wanda: NO WAY!
Timmy: COSMO!
[Cosmo is floating behind Wanda with a baseball bat. He's swinging it at Wanda's head.]
Timmy: BAD IDEA!
Cosmo: Oohhhh. Darn it!
[Cosmo lowers the bat but he loses control, it swings and hits him in the, ahem, privates. He collapses to the ground. Wanda also collapses to the ground, but in hysterics.]
Wanda: Wow! That was the funniest thing that I've ever seen, not that I can remember many previous funny things, but it was still great!
[She cuddles Cosmo, who despite wincing in pain, smiles to himself.]
Wanda: Thanks for cheering me up.
[She realises what she's doing, and breaks off the hug.]
Wanda: Why do I keep doing that?
Cosmo: (sing song voice) Because you love meeeee!!!
[Wanda poofs up a big plastic shield. Cosmo attempts to hug her once more, but smacks into it. Wanda laughs again and poofs out a huge armchair, she sits on it.]
Wanda: All this laughing makes me tired!
Timmy: (shocked) Wanda! You did magic!
Wanda: I did? [looks at the chair and the shield] I DID!
Timmy: How?
Wanda: I don't know! But I think I have an idea!
......