What's A Wanda?
(A/N, Stupid Trivial Fact #45. The title of this fanfic, comes from the episiode "Lovestruck" where Timmy wishes all the men and women lived seperately. Wanda disappears and Cosmo says "What's a Wanda?" and Timmy says "A wrestling move!". Ha. My favourite episiode! Had to pay tribute! Anyway...back to the story...)
Chapter 4 - You're Under A Vest
Timmy: What?! That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard! Did you lose your memory AND a piece of your brain?!
Wanda: I know! It's so silly! It sounds like something they'd put in a cartoon, but I think it might work.
Cosmo: It sure is crazy enough! Crazy ideas save lives! No wait....I'm thinking of seatbelts...but we still should try this idea!
Timmy: So, Wanda, lemme get this straight, your theory is that the reason you remembered how to do magic and fly again, is because laughing at Cosmo jogged your memory?
Wanda: Uh huh!
Timmy: I didn't think it was possible, but it sounds even stupider out loud.
Wanda: I know, it's nuts! But how else do you explain my sudden ability to do magic?
Timmy: (defeated sigh) I guess it's worth a shot...Cosmo, do something funny.
Cosmo: (thinking) Did you hear the one about the guy who walked into a bar? He said ouch!
[Silence.]
Cosmo: That joke KILLED at my last mini golf tournament! You people have no appreciation of comedy! OK...fine, What did the cop say to his belly?
[Timmy and Wanda lean forward and smile in anticipation of the joke.]
Cosmo: YOU'RE UNDER A VEST! HAHA! [bursts into hysterics.]
Wanda: (deadpan) That was bad.
Timmy: (deadpan) That stunk.
Cosmo: Maybe you don't get it, you're under a vest? You're under arrest? (excitedly) He's a cop! Get it? Get it? Huh? Huh? You get it? Huh?
Wanda: Ooh we get it. It just sucks.
Cosmo: Oh no! I'm not funny anymore! [starts to cry] I need a tissue!
[Cosmo poofs out a tissue, only it doesn't go to plan and somehow his hand catches on fire. He screams, flying around the room aimlessly, before dunking it into the fishbowl, sighing with relief. Wanda blinks her eyes, then bursts into hysterics.]
Wanda: Hahahahahaha! I love physical comedy, Cosmo!
Cosmo: AHHHH! She remembered my name! It's WORKING!
Timmy: Wanda, turn my bed into a trampoline!
[Wanda aims her wand at the bed, at to the amazement of everyone, it turns into a trampoline!]
Timmy: WOW!
Wanda: WOW!
Cosmo: NOODLE!
[They stare blankly at him.]
Cosmo: So I don't like following the pack? Sue me.
Wanda: No, and you hate noodles because when you were five you refused to eat them, claiming they looked like freakishly long worms.
Cosmo: AGGHH! She remembered!
Wanda: I remembered?!
Timmy: You remembered! Quick, Cosmo, keep being funny!
Cosmo: What do you call a -
Wanda: (interrupting) NO! That's not funny. You have to hurt yourself! That's funny!
[Cosmo hesitates.]
Cosmo: OK. But only because I love you!
[Cosmo drops an anvil on his head. He collapses. Wanda giggles.]
Wanda: (thinks) Timmy! You keep your money in a shoebox under your bed, it's labelled 'NOT MONEY'.
Timmy: That's right - And what was I thinking with the shoebox thing?! Anyway, COSMO! KEEP GOING!
[Cosmo bangs his head against the wall.]
Wanda: Mildly amusing, but you can do better!
[Cosmo bangs her head against the wall so hard, he goes through the other side.]
Wanda: Now THAT'S funny! Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!
[Hours past. We join Timmy, Wanda and Cosmo again. Cosmo is in a heap on the floor, Wanda is in hysterics, Timmy is thinking up questions to ask her.]
Wanda: ....and that's why you hate clowns!
Timmy: No! That's wrong!
Cosmo: (tired) Can I stop now? I've been mauled by just about every animal on earth with teeth - some without! Been flattened and squashed by everything mildly heavy, eaten every kind of slimy food there is, set myself on fire and even gave myself a wedgie! Is your memory back yet?!
Wanda: (sadly) No I still have a few gaps.
Cosmo: But...but...my pancreas hurts! And I don't even know what a pancreas is!
Timmy: (miserably) She still can't remember a lot. She only seems to know trivial, stupid facts about everything. Nothing important is coming out.
Wanda: Don't worry Timmy, you did your best, sweetie.
Cosmo: What about my best! Have you ever tap danced barefoot on steaming coals?! IT'S NOT EASY!
Timmy: No. This is all my fault! I never should have made that dumb wish. It was such a silly thing to do!
Wanda: Timmy, don't beat yourself up! You had no idea this would happen! From what you told me, I sounded pretty harsh on you after the smoothie thing. I should have apologised.
Timmy: No! I should have! I should have just faced you and apologised for what I did. I'm sorry Wanda, I really am. I didn't mean to upset you. I should have listened to you, especially after your bad day. Can you ever forgive me for all this?
Wanda: (warmly) Sure can sweetie. You're my God child. (grins) Besides....I have something to say to you aswell.....
....
(A/N, Stupid Trivial Fact #45. The title of this fanfic, comes from the episiode "Lovestruck" where Timmy wishes all the men and women lived seperately. Wanda disappears and Cosmo says "What's a Wanda?" and Timmy says "A wrestling move!". Ha. My favourite episiode! Had to pay tribute! Anyway...back to the story...)
Chapter 4 - You're Under A Vest
Timmy: What?! That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard! Did you lose your memory AND a piece of your brain?!
Wanda: I know! It's so silly! It sounds like something they'd put in a cartoon, but I think it might work.
Cosmo: It sure is crazy enough! Crazy ideas save lives! No wait....I'm thinking of seatbelts...but we still should try this idea!
Timmy: So, Wanda, lemme get this straight, your theory is that the reason you remembered how to do magic and fly again, is because laughing at Cosmo jogged your memory?
Wanda: Uh huh!
Timmy: I didn't think it was possible, but it sounds even stupider out loud.
Wanda: I know, it's nuts! But how else do you explain my sudden ability to do magic?
Timmy: (defeated sigh) I guess it's worth a shot...Cosmo, do something funny.
Cosmo: (thinking) Did you hear the one about the guy who walked into a bar? He said ouch!
[Silence.]
Cosmo: That joke KILLED at my last mini golf tournament! You people have no appreciation of comedy! OK...fine, What did the cop say to his belly?
[Timmy and Wanda lean forward and smile in anticipation of the joke.]
Cosmo: YOU'RE UNDER A VEST! HAHA! [bursts into hysterics.]
Wanda: (deadpan) That was bad.
Timmy: (deadpan) That stunk.
Cosmo: Maybe you don't get it, you're under a vest? You're under arrest? (excitedly) He's a cop! Get it? Get it? Huh? Huh? You get it? Huh?
Wanda: Ooh we get it. It just sucks.
Cosmo: Oh no! I'm not funny anymore! [starts to cry] I need a tissue!
[Cosmo poofs out a tissue, only it doesn't go to plan and somehow his hand catches on fire. He screams, flying around the room aimlessly, before dunking it into the fishbowl, sighing with relief. Wanda blinks her eyes, then bursts into hysterics.]
Wanda: Hahahahahaha! I love physical comedy, Cosmo!
Cosmo: AHHHH! She remembered my name! It's WORKING!
Timmy: Wanda, turn my bed into a trampoline!
[Wanda aims her wand at the bed, at to the amazement of everyone, it turns into a trampoline!]
Timmy: WOW!
Wanda: WOW!
Cosmo: NOODLE!
[They stare blankly at him.]
Cosmo: So I don't like following the pack? Sue me.
Wanda: No, and you hate noodles because when you were five you refused to eat them, claiming they looked like freakishly long worms.
Cosmo: AGGHH! She remembered!
Wanda: I remembered?!
Timmy: You remembered! Quick, Cosmo, keep being funny!
Cosmo: What do you call a -
Wanda: (interrupting) NO! That's not funny. You have to hurt yourself! That's funny!
[Cosmo hesitates.]
Cosmo: OK. But only because I love you!
[Cosmo drops an anvil on his head. He collapses. Wanda giggles.]
Wanda: (thinks) Timmy! You keep your money in a shoebox under your bed, it's labelled 'NOT MONEY'.
Timmy: That's right - And what was I thinking with the shoebox thing?! Anyway, COSMO! KEEP GOING!
[Cosmo bangs his head against the wall.]
Wanda: Mildly amusing, but you can do better!
[Cosmo bangs her head against the wall so hard, he goes through the other side.]
Wanda: Now THAT'S funny! Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!
[Hours past. We join Timmy, Wanda and Cosmo again. Cosmo is in a heap on the floor, Wanda is in hysterics, Timmy is thinking up questions to ask her.]
Wanda: ....and that's why you hate clowns!
Timmy: No! That's wrong!
Cosmo: (tired) Can I stop now? I've been mauled by just about every animal on earth with teeth - some without! Been flattened and squashed by everything mildly heavy, eaten every kind of slimy food there is, set myself on fire and even gave myself a wedgie! Is your memory back yet?!
Wanda: (sadly) No I still have a few gaps.
Cosmo: But...but...my pancreas hurts! And I don't even know what a pancreas is!
Timmy: (miserably) She still can't remember a lot. She only seems to know trivial, stupid facts about everything. Nothing important is coming out.
Wanda: Don't worry Timmy, you did your best, sweetie.
Cosmo: What about my best! Have you ever tap danced barefoot on steaming coals?! IT'S NOT EASY!
Timmy: No. This is all my fault! I never should have made that dumb wish. It was such a silly thing to do!
Wanda: Timmy, don't beat yourself up! You had no idea this would happen! From what you told me, I sounded pretty harsh on you after the smoothie thing. I should have apologised.
Timmy: No! I should have! I should have just faced you and apologised for what I did. I'm sorry Wanda, I really am. I didn't mean to upset you. I should have listened to you, especially after your bad day. Can you ever forgive me for all this?
Wanda: (warmly) Sure can sweetie. You're my God child. (grins) Besides....I have something to say to you aswell.....
....