Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: I do not own anything.

Author's note: well since all of my test this week are over, hopefully I will have more time to write and update my stories. Seth and Summer finally get to meet in this chapter, but it's not such a felicitous reunion. That said, please still enjoy…and keep on leaving reviews, I love reading the feedback to my stories!

One

Chapter: not ashamed to be the person that I am today

"Summer." His voice cracked a little. He was a grown man, he couldn't understand how the hell his voice was still that of a 13 year old's. "What, just happened to be in town?"

"Seth." She visibly stiffened and turned to face him. "It's good to see you."

"Wish I could say the same." She could see the look of hatred burning in his eyes.

"Look Seth, I know we're not the best of friends or whatever, but we have a vested interest in this wedding and I'd really like to get through it without any incidents."

He poured himself a drink and downed it. He leaned in very close to her and sneered, "Whatever, Summer. We'll do it your way because the queen always gets her way, doesn't she?"

She could smell the liquor on his breath. Summer was disgusted. Who the hell was this? This wasn't the Seth Cohen that she had once cared so much about. This was a drunk imposter in his place. He wasn't half the man he used to be. Her heart pangs were almost unbearable. Who are you? This is not the man I was once in love with. Love? That was a joke. She couldn't love anyone, not even herself. Especially not herself.

"That's right. You remember well, I call the shots, and Coop and Chino are going to have a peaceful and beautiful wedding, so just deal with it."

A flash of anger crossed his face. No one had spoken to him in that tone for some time. He was used to getting everything his way. Not with Summer here. He suddenly felt like the scared 4th grader who was afraid to share his poem in class because it was about a particular girl who was completely indifferent to him. He was the gawky 7th grader whose voice hadn't changed who tripped over himself whenever he was near her. He was the 10th grader who rambled on and on every time she spoke to him. All of the insecurities he had hidden within were suddenly resurfacing.

Great timing.

"I still see you are as endearing and charming as ever, Summer."

"Right back at ya."

"Ahem." Marissa looked at them expectantly in the doorway. At least they hadn't killed each other and no one was crying yet. "My mom and your grandfather are here. And my dad just pulled up." Summer followed her out, but not without stopping to steal a glance at Seth who was leaned up against the sink, drinking another drink. He squinted his eyes and turned away from her stare. The sparks between them, although they were fierce and cool, were still undeniable. Both of them felt it, but neither was strong enough to admit it.

***

"Everyone, thank you so much for coming tonight. We just wanted to take this opportunity to have this dinner so that everyone could become acquainted with one another. It really means a lot to us that you've all come here to share this really happy occasion with us. Marissa has made these really organized folders that have all the information about the wedding and engagement dinner and what everyone is supposed to do and what they are in charge of." Ryan beamed as he took Marissa's hand and squeezed it. Vomit.

Summer flipped through her folder, reading all of the different events and instructions. She had to hand it to Coop, she did know how to plan one awesome party.

"Now, I would like to introduce the wedding party. The first couple of wedding attendants is Marty Chuu, my roommate and best friend from Berkeley and Kathryn Halls, Marissa's friend and co-worker at the clinic. The next two are Dan James, my good friend and co-worker at the firm and Lisa Jennings, Marissa's roommate from UCSD. We have Tom Clarke, my best friend and mentor from Northwestern and Marissa's sister, Caitlin, a co-maid of honor. Last, but definitely not least, we have my brother and best friend Seth Cohen, the best man and Marissa's oldest and dearest friend Summer Roberts, the other maid of honor. These two will be working with each other to plan all of the bachelor and bachelorette activities, so if any one needs to get in contact with them, their numbers are in the folders." Summer plastered on the brightest smile she could, the sharpness of her smile cutting Seth up slowly.

The rest of the night was fairly uneventful. They had both stayed away from one another, except for a small incident in which Seth's date started asking Summer all these questions about the magazine, her "absolute favorite" in the whole world. Perfect. They were avoiding each other for now, but as the wedding neared, they would have to spend countless hours in close contact with one another. Summer couldn't wait. And that was sarcasm. Or was it? If she hated him as much as she told herself she did, why did she furtively look for him across the room every chance she got? And if he was completely over her, why did he take notice of every movement she made when at the dinner table? This was confusing. It is impossible to not feel anything for someone with whom you have had such a strong history. Impossible. No matter how hard you try, that person will always hold a place inside you. Summer couldn't let go of him and Seth could not let go of her. All they could do is accept everything for what it was and just be comfortable.

This is my life
It's not what it was before
All these feelings I've shared
And these are my dreams
That I'd never lived before
Somebody shake me
Because I, I must be sleeping

Now that we're here,
It's so far away
All the struggle we thought was in vain
All in the mistakes,
One life contained
They all finally start to go away
Now that we're here its so far away
And I feel like I can face the day

I can forgive and I'm not ashamed to be the person that I am today

These are my words
That I've never said before
I think I'm doing okay
And this is the smile
That I've never shown before

Somebody shake me because I,
I must be sleeping

I'm so afraid of waking
Please don't shake me
Afraid of waking
Please don't shake me

***

She sat in Aqua, going through a stack of papers and talking on the phone. Coop and Mrs. Cohen were meeting her for lunch so they could go over last minute details for the engagement dinner.

"Ryan, just try on the suit. If you don't like it, I can have another one sent in from New York. We have time. Don't worry about it. No, no it's fine. Did you try on the Varvatos suit that you're going to be wearing tomorrow night? And it looks good? Okay good. Alright, is the other suit on? Well, how does it look? Hmm, I'll call the store tomorrow and see if they have any other cuts that I think will would look good." Kirsten walked up to the table where Summer was seated and waved before taking her seat.

"Good, good. Okay, I have to go, your mom's here. Do you want to talk to her? Okay, alright, I'll see you later. Bye." She flipped her phone shut and sighed. "Why is it so hard to get men to try on clothes?"

"It's just Ryan, sweetie. He's always been like that."

"Serious problems that kid has. Did Seth get his suit?"

"I think so, I'm not sure. He hasn't called me."

"Well, I hope he got it because I had to call the Hugo Boss people and beg them to rush deliver it to his office. If someone would have not procrastinated…"

"Yeah, Seth's a little preoccupied these days. I appreciate you taking care of all this stuff Summer. I mean, you're busy enough already, but you're taking care of details that I should be handling."

"No way, Mrs. Cohen. This is my business; I do fashion for a living. I like doing this for Marissa and Ryan, they deserve it."

"Yes, happiness is certainly in order for them after all they've been through."

Summer nodded in agreement. But after all this time, they still persisted as a couple.

"What about you hun? Are you involved with anyone special?"

"No one special. I just date around, I'm kind of busy. It's really hard to find someone, which is strange because you'd think there are so many men in New York, but they are like either married or jerks or both."

Kirsten smiled and looked at the girl sitting with her. She had aged a bit, but she still possessed that girlish charm that her son had fallen in love with. Even though Summer was a bit aggressive and demanding, Kirsten could see why Seth had loved her so much. "Well, I hope you find a good one someday. You deserve it."

"Thanks." Summer suddenly wished that Coop was there with them. Being here, talking about relationships with Seth's mother was not so comforting. She nervously shuffled the papers back into her bag, praying that Marissa would sashay through the door soon.

"I'm sorry it didn't work out between you two, Summer. It would've been nice. I really wanted you and Seth to end up together. I thought it could work. You were good for him. He was really happy with you and I just wanted him to be happy. I really did…" she trailed off slowly.

Summer stared down at the tablecloth and softly replied, "I'm sorry."

Kirsten took her hand and patted it reassuringly and looked at Summer. "It's not your fault, sweetie. It's no one's fault." Kirsten smiled weakly.

No longer afraid, Summer felt comforted by her presence. Marissa floated through the door and suddenly everything was forgotten. The afternoon was spent gossiping and planning, laughing like friends would. Friends. Kirsten's confession stuck in her memory even though she involved herself in the new conversation. I really wanted you and Seth to end up together. She loved Kirsten Cohen, but she could not will herself to love Seth again. Or at least get over her pride and let herself love him.

So Far Away by Staind