Rating: R for this chapter

Disclaimer: I do not own anything that is affiliated with Fox's The OC.

Author's Note: Since I am in such a good mood--I just finished an exam that I thought went really well, I decided to finish up this chapter and post it. Warning: if you are not a big fan of the "ass-hole" Seth character that has proliferated this story, you are most certainly not going to like this chapter. That is just my warning, but know that with the bad comes the good, so things will get better--just give me some time. I hope you enjoyed this chapter because I think it was my favorite to write. And thank you for all the kind reviews--I appreciate every comment that is left--thanks and enjoy…

One

Chapter 17: What the hell am I doing here?

Summer tossed her head back as she laughed at another story Seth told her. She was buzzing a little bit; the several flutes of champagne had gone straight to her head. However drunk she was, she was still painfully aware of how Seth was affecting her. This was insane. She was feeling emotions that she hadn't felt in a long time. Excitement. Fear. Lust. She wanted him so badly. She wanted to feel him again. And again.

The party was still going on full swing inside the Cohen house. No one noticed that they were gone. Seth liked it that way. Summer looked a little hazy, but smiled in the all too familiar seductive smirk that she employed when she was ready. "You look tense, Sum. You want me to massage your shoulders?" She murmured back a response and shifted so he could get behind her. He squeezed the flesh between her neck and shoulders gently, letting his fingers burn her skin with their touch. She let a moan escape from her mouth; she hadn't felt this good in a long time.

When you were here before
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel
Your skin makes me cry

He slipped the delicate strap of her dress over her shoulder. He kissed her pale winter skin as he continued to rub her back. Summer inhaled deeply. Seth continued to kiss her neck and earlobes. She turned to him and pulled herself into his lap. Capturing his lips with hers, she let them absorb his beauty. His hands rubbed her bare legs, sending tingles through both of their spines. It had been a long time, but the feelings were ingrained in their memory. She felt his dark curls slip between her fingers as she wrapped her arms around his neck. He pulled away slightly, letting his nose rest on hers as he looked into her eyes. She kissed it and hugged him, resting her head on his shoulder.

You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so fuckin' special

Seth picked her up and carried her to the bedroom. Laying her gently onto the bed, he beheld the sight before him. Her hair was slightly tousled, but fell in natural waves against the bedspread. There was something else there though. She looked vulnerable and gorgeously innocent. She still knew how to take his breath away. He leaned down to kiss her cheek, then rubbed his own cheek against hers. Her tongue once again found its partner, and they were inseparable for what seemed like eternity. He made his way down her neck and clavicle, making her sigh with content. The heat was unbearable. She slowly started unbuttoning his shirt, but he placed his hands over hers and started to quicken the pace. As soon as he freed himself from his shirt, he reached behind her to liberate her from her confines. Soon the only things separating them from each other were pieces of lace and silk. Nothing more.

Summer pulled Seth on top of her and felt overwhelmingly dizzy. Was this really happening? A week ago she could not stand the sight of him, and now he was going to make love to her. She kissed him again and again, her body begging him for more. He kissed her waist and clasped her hands in his. She waited for him to make his move.

"Cohen, I want you so badly. I need you. I'm sorry for everything." She stared into his eyes but turned away when they glazed over.

This was not the way it was supposed to be.

But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo.
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here.

He let out a forced laugh. He unclasped his hands and stood over her. "Sorry? You want me, don't you Summer?" Her eyes were already welled up with tears, but she didn't give in. It took every ounce of his strength to not tear up. But he was stronger than he thought. All of the years of anger made him this way.

I don't care if it hurts
I want to have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul

He retrieved his shirt and threw it back on haphazardly. "Good one Roberts. Jump into bed with the first guy who offers. That's really classy." Her lips trembled and she bit on them to keep them from doing so. She covered her almost naked body with her arms, hugging herself and reassuring herself at the same time. This is a bad dream. "Way to go Wonder Whore." Her own words coming from his mouth hurt more than she could ever imagine.

I want you to notice
When I'm not around
You're so fuckin' special

He walked out of the pool house and felt sick. He didn't know what his problem was. Finally, he had gotten what he wanted all those years, just a little revenge. But it wasn't supposed to feel this badly. Seth would have gone further, he would have tricked her into sleeping with him, but he couldn't. He saw the look she gave him. The look of pure unadulterated love. He saw it and yet he still fucked with her. He was a sorry excuse of a person. A waste. He picked up a glass that had been left behind and downed whatever was in it. He winced as the bitter aftertaste was left burning a hole in his throat.

I wish I was special

But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo.
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here

Summer sat in the bed, with the covers pulled over most of her body. She made no attempt to redress. She had already been debased enough for one night. It couldn't get any worse. For some reason, she wasn't crying. She shivered in between the sheets, and felt disgusted. Maybe she was a whore. If she had made him hate her that much, then maybe she deserved everything she got.

She's running out again,
She's running out
She's run run run running out...

She sat up and put her dress on over her head. She walked calmly out of the pool house and around the back of the house, as to not be seen by the party guests. She walked for awhile, not really in any direction, but ended up in the exact place she knew she was going to end up.

Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so fuckin' special
I wish I was special...

Her part of the beach. The beach that had welcomed her back to the OC. She walked towards the water and let her tears finally flow out into the sand. It was cold, but she didn't notice. Her feet touched the icy water and it cut her up, but she felt nothing. She was knee deep in the water before everything started to come back to her. Her body heaved with sobs as the waves pounded her repeatedly, punishing her for everything that she had done. The ocean was unforgiving, but at the same time, it gave her an unparalleled feeling of tranquility.

But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo,
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here

She felt his presence as he walked out towards the water. Seth was there to apologize, but she wasn't willing to accept. "Summer, I love you. I'm so so sorry. I have no fucking clue what I'm doing anymore." It was a mistake to come back here. She could not deal with this pain right now, so she did what she knew best. She ran. She ran down the length of the beach, leaving him alone to suffer for what he did.

I don't belong here

Creep by Radiohead